Interesting thought. I've often thought that the sx/so motivations would overlap more versus the sp which seems counter to both?
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how i practice using my SO last; I am trying to convince myself that it IS important to do my hair when I am going to the store, even though those people will never ever see me again or remember me.
:huh:
Yes, I think I understood. I think it's normal and healthy to freak out when it's going too fast. I think the opposite would signal a problem. I wouldn't say it's to do with type.
I think part of sp is valuing your comfort. I know someone who I think is sp-first and he gets really stressed out in crowds or the bus whereas I'm not comfortable but I can tolerate it and still be in an ok mood. And he's happy in a certain special way when he's on his own sofa. And good food makes him really happy, stuff like that.
I like how you put that. Yes, I think that is it. Things you share in common will of course play a big part in a more intimate relationship, but the primary thing with SXs is the other person and relationship itself. Just the "beingness" of it, if you see what I mean. Even when I haven't known the other person that well, if "it" is there, there is such a joy in just being with the other person and I'm so happy to see them and the specific activity at hand doesn't matter that much. It doesn't happen often though...
For an SX-first must there be a pretense though? That's what I find difficult. Sometimes what happens is there is plenty to talk about but I'm still very aware of a feeling of something just not sitting well somehow, and then I really hope the other person doesn't feel that too but then maybe they do. Perhaps I just worry too much about it. Things tend to go better soc-wise for me when I really don't care how or who the other person is or what they're thinking and am just easy-going, whatever. But I have to be very conscious about this to turn off the feelers for the deeper emotional undertones, what kind of potential I'm sensing, will it be satisfying for me, etc.
Haha, yes, I understand. I'm not quite like that but I don't small talk with people at the store for example. And from what a friend said about it, who is either soc first or second, it's too business-like for her. She would chat with the employees and be friendly and get to know them and enjoy that there's no deepness to it. Real contact would be more scary. As sx-first I don't see the point in that, but I have been trying to do it more often as soc-practice.