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so/sp values

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i know it's only one of many possible layers to analyze.

so far i've picked up fairness, justice, responsibility, and trust. so/sps seem like they want to become a perfect person (as defined by ethical standards, not a burden to others, steady, and foundational for those they care about).

they are indirect and at times have trouble initiating direct contact with others. not just in an introverted way, but more so in a friendly with everyone but having trouble communicating deepest recognition with specific others. at times i imagine someone is talking to them, and will say something like "are you even listening," because they are looking away. but the so/sp usually is, is generally very considerate and generous in spirit towards others.

they are less willful; what they want is less important than what is right. generally open and trusting but needing time alone to get away from human affairs and expectations of others, who always seem to want more.

does this seem right? what else should be pointed out? i ask partly bc i've had a lot of great relationships with so/sps in the course of my life. i think as /sps they have a tendency to appreciate, in solitude, the value of their relationships and be more consistent in renewing them. their generosity and overall friendliness has at times helped take the edge off of me when i was more socially acerbic and clueless. i value their steadying influence and deeply-rooted ethical example and they value my ability/desire to draw them out completely/try to recognize the whole of them.
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
generally open and trusting but needing time alone to get away from human affairs and expectations of others, who always seem to want more.

I am not open or trusting at all, but that could just be me, not so/sp specifically. I'd think the sp limits the open/trust/generosity to a selected few. For me, so/sp shows up as ...

Wanting social interaction but more so if it evolves around the discussion of social values, social changes, honorable social ambitions, wanting to be a big part of the discussion and participation, even a leader despite my lack of interest in connecting with people in a mundane, casual way. I'd respect people for their ethical values and want to connect and understand them, but not through say, mutual affection for a certain clothing line, you know... Shared social ambitions. My 4 individualism combines with wanting to be part of something greater than one person, to be part of a social/political/intellectual group. Feeling this intense need to contribute, feeling that the large concept of humanity is much more important than one person's own comforts and desires, but without sacrificing my own values and principals.

self preservation: being with people who are very close and loyal to me, it takes me a while to open up to people. there's a lot of push and pull with this combination.
 

Resonance

Energizer Bunny
Joined
May 18, 2010
Messages
740
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
6w5
5w6 so/sp

I'm really good at faking openness/trust, I think. Then again, I crave being genuine... but, I can't. It's too risky. With that in mind, your description seems spot-on :) at least for important matters. I tend to bicker about unimportant things a lot :p
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think the difference between So/Sx and So/Sp is that So/Sp don't feel the need to be intense or close to peoples to improve their position or inclusion in the world. But they think on the other side that it's important to be practical, organised and collected. They are the collected engage-er.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
clarifying question:

are so/sp types generally less paranoid than sx/sp types, or is it just that the so/sp types i know are more balanced than the sx/sp types i know? the energies of sx/sp seem more at odds, more self-destructive, more extreme--which i find leads to wider ranging oscillations between light and dark. and paranoia feels like the dark, when the imaginary replaces the real.

there is also a shift in all types towards a kind of threat, i believe, with their inferior instinct. i trust the social body the least. i trust so the least. i trust an individual, probably because i believe that i can connect with anyone on a one-to-one basis. but beyond that, it feels like mass hysteria lynching is just one wrong turn away.

in other words, i find i'll give the benefit of the doubt to the individual and to the will. if i were a judge i'd be easier on the individual (once i really listened to the individual, probed their motives, created a real connection) but less easy on the social body. i don't know if this is going anywhere.
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
^ amazing distinction

i don't know about paranoia in comparison. i am pretty damn paranoid, could be the sp part, not the so part. I trust people as a group because there are more to trust, at least one person from the group must be good, at least. The chances are higher the larger the group, lol! I don't trust individuals as easily.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think the difference between So/Sx and So/Sp is that So/Sp don't feel the need to be intense or close to peoples to improve their position or inclusion in the world. But they think on the other side that it's important to be practical, organised and collected. They are the collected engage-er.

i like this a lot. are they most patient type?

i feel like they make awesome mediators, judges, family counselors, etc. the kind of overarching attention to social justice and fairness at a social level, with the collectedness, deliberation, and strategy that i think you mention.

i'm trying to figure out what they need as individuals. i feel like they do a lot for others but feel, deep down, but often feel a resentment like others only want them around when they need something/don't ______ them for their own sake (appreciate, enjoy, care for, recognize, validate, etc?). does this resonate? if so, what can be done about this?
 

Resonance

Energizer Bunny
Joined
May 18, 2010
Messages
740
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
6w5
i like this a lot. are they most patient type?

i feel like they make awesome mediators, judges, family counselors, etc. the kind of overarching attention to social justice and fairness at a social level, with the collectedness, deliberation, and strategy that i think you mention.

i'm trying to figure out what they need as individuals. i feel like they do a lot for others but feel, deep down, but often feel a resentment like others only want them around when they need something/don't ______ them for their own sake (appreciate, enjoy, care for, recognize, validate, etc?). does this resonate? if so, what can be done about this?
Trust that I'm doing everything I can to solve my own problems, and only offer advice or help if it's something I might not know about.

Try to space out your own requests (eg. give me time to respond, because I probably haven't forgotten if it's only been 10 minutes), and don't re-explain your reasoning every damn time. That's just tedious; I probably understood why you wanted it before you even explained it the first time. If you'd listen for more than half a sentence you'd understand properly why it didn't get done instead of some half-assed intuitive leap from a few pronouns and prepositions.

Understand that sometimes I have bad days too, even though I apparently have so much more spare time than you. I really appreciate it when you show concern by asking me what's wrong and letting me issue my own requests instead of trying to fix it 'your way'.

(this is a pattern in my life, and I don't doubt it's the same for others.)

EDIT: wow that seems really bitchy in retrospect. D: I don't mean it quite so strongly.
 
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