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Multiple Enneagram Subtypes/Instincts How to distinguish Sx/Sp and Sx/So?

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
Joined
Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I have a hard time to distinguish them. I think I'am one among the both, but I can't decide wich is the one. I'm sure I'm a sexual 9, I've read that the sexual nine is called the "union" type and that's totally fit with me. The social nine is called the "peripheral participation" type who can like activity with group but to be disengaged at the same type and move toward asociability, and the self-pres 9 is called the "appetite" type. I think I fit more with the social variant. I'm the type of person, for example, who eats just because he's supposed to eat according to the social ritual. But who eat just what is necessary, and no more.
:rofl1:

I've had some episodes of compulsive fooding, but I think it was more a form of narcotizing associated with excess (wing 8) rather than a real interest for material consumption. Actually, I think that I got bored for everithing associated with self-preservational stuff. I've doubt to have So in second rather than Sp because I'm clearly introvert, but there's some introvert So here (Bubbles, Ayo...), so I guess it does'nt matter. But I still a little hesitating, so I would be interesting with more details or information about differences between Sx/Sp and Sx/So.

to answer your question though, Sx/So tends to be more gregarious and Sx/Sp more withdrawn, brooding and, from my observations, tends to have a "dark" energy to them. Sx/So types are also more "caution to the wind"

I think you are Sx/So. you seem like you would prefer a very "sex drugs and rock n' roll" lifestyle where you didn't have to worry or care about survival.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Speed, you're one of us. You smell sx-so.
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION]

Sx/So vs. Sx/Sp (to the death? :shock:)...


Note: These are relative comparisons and they are exaggerated for comparative clarity.



1. Freedom
Sx/Sp's believe in freedom. And they don't just believe in it as an abstract concept, but in reality. They don't want to be held down, confined, restricted, or contained. But then there's the problem of their siren, their drug, their love...an Sx/Sp would sell their soul to merge with their object of desire (be it a person, idea, or whatever). They will tirelessly fight off all other chains placed on them, but they will willingly don the handcuffs binding them to their love. The Sx/Sp ideal is to run away with their love and leave all the world behind.

Sx/So's will not do this. Freedom is too precious to surrender, even to the object of their deepest affection. The Sx/So ideal is not to run away but to stand and fight, tearing down the walls and breaking all chains. Their siren, their drug, their love...this is the greatest chain of them all. They have a strong desire to merge and yet are compelled to at least put up a token resistance.



2. Means to an End
The Sx/Sp places their hopes for fulfillment of their primary instinct (and ultimately, their survival) in their personal qualities and attributes: attractiveness, charisma, skills, abilities, success, wealth, status, etc. When things don't work out, this can leave an Sx/Sp feeling self-conscious. This gives Sx/Sp's an aire of self absorption and, in some cases, fatalism.

The Sx/So places these hopes in their cunning, cleverness, and ability to make the right choices and decisions. When things don't work out, an Sx/So may wonder what they could have done differently to have more success. This makes Sx/So's come off as enterprising masters of their own destiny.

Let's take seduction as an example: an Sx/Sp focuses on seeming desirable and attractive, an Sx/So focuses on saying the right things and acting the right way.



3. Romantic Relationships
Both Sexual types exhibit a push-and-pull dynamic. The Sx/Sp's version of this is the classic iteration: intense, passionate desire suddenly becomes too intense and Sx/Sp pulls away to protect themselves, only to have the desire return again.

The Sx/So push-and-pull is an internal one: drawn in with some hesitation, drawn closer, maybe pull back a little, still drawn in. It doesn't look as extreme as the Sx/Sp dynamic because the Sx/So doesn't completely surrender to their desire.

As a result, an Sx/Sp is going to be more all-or-none in relationships, either on out on the sand or drowning in the depths...possibly bouncing back-and-forth between the two with the tides. An Sx/So will be more balanced and stable in their relationships, preferring to wade in the shallows.

Additionally, an Sx/So has a much greater problem with partners that seem clingy or smothering. This is encroaches too greatly on their freedom. An Sx/Sp won't have a problem with this in itself (and may even like it); their greater concern is the desirability of their partner. Extreme closeness with a confident and secure partner is Sx/Sp heaven, with an insecure partner it's hell.

I'm sx/sp and yes to all of this. I've described myself as an all or nothing person. That fits very well.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
[MENTION=16041]Bumblyjack[/MENTION]

that is a perfect description of sx/sp and sx/so...and it just re-confirms that I'm sx/sp and I can easily compare myself to someone who I know who is sx/so
 

sulfit

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
sx/so get along with sp/sx better than sx/sp. In the later case it's too much of the same thing? But sx/so can recharge and calm down around sp/sx's.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
sx/so get along with sp/sx better than sx/sp. In the later case it's too much of the same thing? But sx/so can recharge and calm down around sp/sx's.

But the intensity between sx-sp and sx-so...:drool: :heart:
You are right though, sp-sxs are a nice way to recharge your batteries as an sx-so. My partner is sp-sx which works well long term, I have to say. More of a steady, warm flame, instead of an insane inferno :D :wubbie:


Any sx-sos feel like when sx-sos get combined together it somehow becomes too..I wanna say too sweet, like too sugary and needs a bit of a tang...like some tangy sp? :D
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=5356]Speed Gavroche[/MENTION]

Sx/So vs. Sx/Sp (to the death? :shock:)...


Note: These are relative comparisons and they are exaggerated for comparative clarity.



1. Freedom
Sx/Sp's believe in freedom. And they don't just believe in it as an abstract concept, but in reality. They don't want to be held down, confined, restricted, or contained. But then there's the problem of their siren, their drug, their love...an Sx/Sp would sell their soul to merge with their object of desire (be it a person, idea, or whatever). They will tirelessly fight off all other chains placed on them, but they will willingly don the handcuffs binding them to their love. The Sx/Sp ideal is to run away with their love and leave all the world behind.

Sx/So's will not do this. Freedom is too precious to surrender, even to the object of their deepest affection. The Sx/So ideal is not to run away but to stand and fight, tearing down the walls and breaking all chains. Their siren, their drug, their love...this is the greatest chain of them all. They have a strong desire to merge and yet are compelled to at least put up a token resistance.



2. Means to an End
The Sx/Sp places their hopes for fulfillment of their primary instinct (and ultimately, their survival) in their personal qualities and attributes: attractiveness, charisma, skills, abilities, success, wealth, status, etc. When things don't work out, this can leave an Sx/Sp feeling self-conscious. This gives Sx/Sp's an aire of self absorption and, in some cases, fatalism.

The Sx/So places these hopes in their cunning, cleverness, and ability to make the right choices and decisions. When things don't work out, an Sx/So may wonder what they could have done differently to have more success. This makes Sx/So's come off as enterprising masters of their own destiny.

Let's take seduction as an example: an Sx/Sp focuses on seeming desirable and attractive, an Sx/So focuses on saying the right things and acting the right way.



3. Romantic Relationships
Both Sexual types exhibit a push-and-pull dynamic. The Sx/Sp's version of this is the classic iteration: intense, passionate desire suddenly becomes too intense and Sx/Sp pulls away to protect themselves, only to have the desire return again.

The Sx/So push-and-pull is an internal one: drawn in with some hesitation, drawn closer, maybe pull back a little, still drawn in. It doesn't look as extreme as the Sx/Sp dynamic because the Sx/So doesn't completely surrender to their desire.

As a result, an Sx/Sp is going to be more all-or-none in relationships, either on out on the sand or drowning in the depths...possibly bouncing back-and-forth between the two with the tides. An Sx/So will be more balanced and stable in their relationships, preferring to wade in the shallows.

Additionally, an Sx/So has a much greater problem with partners that seem clingy or smothering. This is encroaches too greatly on their freedom. An Sx/Sp won't have a problem with this in itself (and may even like it); their greater concern is the desirability of their partner. Extreme closeness with a confident and secure partner is Sx/Sp heaven, with an insecure partner it's hell.

nice...thanks bumblyjack!

you should post more! this was really helpful!

oh...and yeah sx/sp feels right
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
@Bumblyjack - Absolutely, great descriptions.

To be cliche about it, Sx/So doesn't have the ability to abandon ship entirely because we don't want to be out of the loop.
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
6w7 Sx/Sp vs 6w7 Sx/So: Angelina Jolie vs Milla Jovovich


 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
5,152
MBTI Type
EsTP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
8w9 Sx/Sp vs 8w9 Sx/So: Johnny Cash vs James Brown


7w8 Sx/Sp vs 7w8 Sx/So: Joe perry vs Steven Tyler


9w8 Sx/Sp vs 9w8 Sx/So: Janet Jackson vs Paula Abdul


Now I let you analyze the differences.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
sx/so get along with sp/sx better than sx/sp. In the later case it's too much of the same thing? But sx/so can recharge and calm down around sp/sx's.

Interesting observation. I'm a sx/sp and I seem to particularly like so/sxs. I'm married to one and have a close friend who is so/sx. They lighten me up and make me feel wanted and they are very endearing and lovable. (That is if they aren't preoccupied with social matters.) I also really get along with fellow sx/sps, but I think it's better as friends vs lovers. I used to be very attracted to sp/sxs but it never worked out well. I'd get frustrated because they seemed so similar to me and I'd push like hell for a connection but they'd get overwhelmed by my intensity, but they were of course initially drawn to it and what they also perceived as similarities. Talk about a never ending cycle of frustration. But I was also young then.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
The videos are interesting... It very much reads like an intensity followed by either a a shallow openness or reserved/ guarded depth.

I don't know which way I come across although I think I usually feel more gaurded.
 

Winds of Thor

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Jan 11, 2009
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1,842
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3w4
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sx/so
sx/so get along with sp/sx better than sx/sp. In the later case it's too much of the same thing? But sx/so can recharge and calm down around sp/sx's.

Yes.

Also in my experience sx/so with an sx/sp emerges an ugly dynamic that is fundamentally painful. Like..in certain ways just not going to be eye to eye sexually and stressed out about it always feeling sexual expression is somehow untimely and not good.
 

sulfit

New member
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Aug 5, 2010
Messages
495
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INTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Interesting observation. I'm a sx/sp and I seem to particularly like so/sxs. I'm married to one and have a close friend who is so/sx. They lighten me up and make me feel wanted and they are very endearing and lovable. (That is if they aren't preoccupied with social matters.) I also really get along with fellow sx/sps, but I think it's better as friends vs lovers. I used to be very attracted to sp/sxs but it never worked out well. I'd get frustrated because they seemed so similar to me and I'd push like hell for a connection but they'd get overwhelmed by my intensity, but they were of course initially drawn to it and what they also perceived as similarities. Talk about a never ending cycle of frustration. But I was also young then.

Yes.

Also in my experience sx/so with an sx/sp emerges an ugly dynamic that is fundamentally painful. Like..in certain ways just not going to be eye to eye sexually and stressed out about it always feeling sexual expression is somehow untimely and not good.
I remembered it from this explanation of instinct dynamics, it's towards the bottom.

Syn-flow: sp → so → sx → sp
Stackings involved: sp/so → so/sx → sx/sp → sp/so

Contra-flow: sp → sx → so → sp
Stackings involved: sp/sx → sx/so → so/sp → sp/sx

It states that stackings in same flow enjoy each other's company more.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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sx/sp
^^ that link is fantastic!
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I think somebody with SO last would be rather oblivious to the social dynamics, politics and hierarchy. I'm not completely oblivious, but I don't pay attention to it and it's not in my priorities.
 

You

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7w8
when I first took an enneagram test I was a sx/so. now Im testing as a sx/sp and with a so/sx. if i was actually sx/so with a so/sx, there would be a conflict of flow. how would the flow difference between a sx/so & so/sx show?
 

RaptorWizard

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5,895
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5w6
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sx/so
when I first took an enneagram test I was a sx/so. now Im testing as a sx/sp and with a so/sx. if i was actually sx/so with a so/sx, there would be a conflict of flow. how would the flow difference between a sx/so & so/sx show?

I have also considered these 3 variants of so/sx, sx/so, and sx/sp for myself, and dang, it's so hard to tell where this "energy" is coming from, like is it the social charge and/or the sexual power, or in the middle like with sx/so and so/sx (probably sx/so because it's also closer to sx/sp).

Albert Einstein with his amazing theories of energy could cast light onto the problem!
 
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