bluebell
New member
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2007
- Messages
- 1,485
- MBTI Type
- INTP
I posted about this at the other place in the past few days. As far as I can tell, I'm INTP, 5w6 so/sx. (yes, 5w6 so/sx is somewhat rare)
From here (you can click on the other stackings for the other enneagram types, 5w6 so/sx is likely to be somewhat different to other so/sx types given what 5s are like):
And recycling what I wrote at the other place about what I'm like in practice as a 5w6 so/sx, with some edits:
From here (you can click on the other stackings for the other enneagram types, 5w6 so/sx is likely to be somewhat different to other so/sx types given what 5s are like):
Social/Sexual
When reasonably healthy, people of this subtype can be very engaging (for a Five). They smile a lot and are often friendly. Their energy is quite different from the social/self-pres subtype because both the social and sexual energies push outwards, and so partly balance out some of the withdrawing tendencies of the Five. This doesn't mean that people of this subtype are necessarily any healthier however. The outgoing energy is not the result of true integration to Eight but is the result of the compulsive pull of the instincts.
People of this subtype are usually warm and when feeling secure are likely to let people in and even to initiate contact. When they feel insecure however, they can actually go to the other extreme and be very shy. For this reason, people of this subtype could easily be mistyped; those Fives who withdraw from social contact because of feelings of insecurity, might not seem like social subtypes at all. It might not be obvious that they actually very much desire contact. For people of this subtype, the social instinct actually works as a release value for the sexual component. When relaxed and comfortable with others, the sexual instinct can easily be seen.
People of this subtype are very aware of how they "fit in", and also experience the sexual drive of wanting to connect with intimates. Like other social/sexual subtypes, they have the tendency to cultivate many relationships. They want to be liked by everyone, but being Fives they also tend to hold a part of themselves back for fear of rejection or of being overwhelmed by the demands of the relationship. This subtype of Five is more likely to fear rejection than the other subtypes of Five. Because both of the dominant instincts are focused on people, any failure in the realm of interpersonal relationships triggers a fear that there is no safety in the world.
Personality systems like the Enneagram function as tool to help this subtype of Five to feel safe in the world. People of this subtype tend to think that the more they understand people, the less chance they have of being rejected. This tends to be a blind spot for people of this subtype as they don't see that what will actually help them to become healthier is gaining more life experience. This will help them to see that their world will not come to an end with a little rejection.
And recycling what I wrote at the other place about what I'm like in practice as a 5w6 so/sx, with some edits:
When I first started getting into Enneagram at a shallow level, I thought I was sp (self-preservation). But, it doesn't really capture what I'm really like IRL. I'd noticed for a while doing the online MBTI tests and a couple of personality tests I had to do at work that even though I test as a heavy introvert, I always answer 'wide circle of friends and acquaintances' rather than the usual introvert answer of 'a couple of close friends'. I have no close friends IRL, but there are about 30 or 40 people I could ring and say come over for dinner or lets go out for coffee (which I rarely do, but it's always there as an option and I often have low-grade background guilt that I so rarely do this).
I also became aware sometime last year that perceived rejection from anyone was the one thing that was guaranteed to send me into a rapid severe downward spiral. I've had to work really hard at trying to overcome that, but it still rears its ugly head at times and I tend to need external feedback to snap out of it. Also, looking back, this makes sense of the endless complaints in my blog about being frustrated about lack of depth and connection with various friends but at the same time, holding myself back. That's changed a bit since I moved out and it's been good.
But the main reason why this so/sx rings true is how I am at work. I am a compulsive networker. A couple of years ago at work (before our organisation expanded and restructured a gazillion times), I used to know about 100+ (maybe 200? I can't remember now) people by name. I had a contact in most teams and knew what networks they were tapped into. I was always the go-to person in my team if someone needed a contact in a particular area, and as well as giving them a name, I'd also give a potted bio, including key weaknesses and strengths, how trustworthy/reliable the person was and any important personality clashes that my colleague needed to be aware of when talking to the contact. This was all in my head, never needed to look any of this up or write it down anywhere, except for phone numbers.
For various reasons, I've now lost most of those internal networks. But, thinking about it, it's also because the projects I work on these days are very externally focussed. I still do the compulsive networking and connecting people who need to be connected to progress their work but only outside my organisation, or occasionally within my team.
I find it really easy to pick up the politics internally and externally with the various organisations we interact with - how to influence, what to avoid, how to progress multiple agendas at once by various actions, setting things up now to allow progress a few years down the track for stuff that I can see looming on the horizon etc. This is despite being fairly clueless with interpersonal skills (I've had to work really hard at that in order to be able to convert abstract political knowledge into concrete outcomes). In the past, I was too junior and unconfident to influence things directly, but I always knew who was the key person to have a quiet word to so that whatever needed to happen would happen. Behind the scenes ftw.