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  1. #121
    Senior Member EnnisPreit's Avatar
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    SX/SO/SP.... Yup.

  2. #122
    Senior Member EnnisPreit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady_X View Post
    whoa...that's a trip i do do that.
    Same here.
    The nature of my sine is 23.4 at best.

  3. #123
    Upstanding Bird The Penguin's Avatar
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    Can somebody explain how the so/sp lacks warmth?
    INFP 1w9-6w5-4w3 so/sp | Neutral Good | Melancholic-Phlegmatic


  4. #124
    Senior Member neko 4's Avatar
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    I'm definitely sp first. Not sure about the other two. There are some important people in my life but I'm very introverted and like lots of alone time. I don't care that I don't have more relationships. I don't need a big rush to be happy either. I like my life easy and worry-free. So am I more like so or sx?

  5. #125
    Upstanding Bird The Penguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neko 4 View Post
    I'm definitely sp first. Not sure about the other two. There are some important people in my life but I'm very introverted and like lots of alone time. I don't care that I don't have more relationships. I don't need a big rush to be happy either. I like my life easy and worry-free. So am I more like so or sx?
    sp/sx
    • Motivation: To live in a secure, comfortable environment where they can pursue their private interests in depth.
    • These people often have an earthy, mysterious quality to them. They are quietly intense, but to others may seem oblivious to the greater social world around them, instead favoring personal interests. They are slow to commit, but once they do it is with an attitude of life commitment, to the establishment of an impermeable bond. Others can be taken aback by how suddenly and completely this type can lock into them, and by the depth of understanding of the other's condition. They attach to others at an organic, root level, in contrast to the other subvariant's surface formality. Somewhat hesitant to enter new relationships, they instead preserve the select few enduring bonds they carefully form along the way. The sanctuary of home is of paramount concern, and this type takes particular delight in decorating their spaces to reflect their cherished sense of taste and depth. Depth and discrimination characterize this stacking.
    • Energy: calm, steady energy expressed intensely, withdrawing
    • Mindset: "I can have merging/intensity without having to leave my orderly & pleasing lifestyle." (imagination, safe people and relationships, when the safety of these are challenged they withdraw)
    • Blind spot: Likely to neglect their desire to seek intense connections and experiences for the sake of their primary concern of maintaining physical saftey, comfort, and an orderly lifestyle, in average-healthy levels. May not have an awareness of the need to connect in a broader sense with the world, of a sense of security or in groups or of the need to seek it, or even of the need to foster approval, support, and understanding of themselves within groups they are connected with, often causing misunderstandings with allies, supporters, friends, and family members.
    • Examples: George Harrison, Jackie Onassis, Eric Clapton, Emily Dickinson



    Sp/So
    • Motivation: To attain a position of material and societal security.
    • This type is generally private and reserved, and especially serious and practical minded in their focus to gain material security and in making useful connections that support their goals. When they do form a connection, loyalty is very important to them and they will not hesitate to end a relationship on grounds of disloyalty. This type may lack a certain degree of interpersonal warmth which can give the impression of coldness or disinterest in others, even a sense of selfishness. May be drawn to groups that attract like minded individuals, as in business clubs or volunteer organizations where a shared professional culture can facilitate social bonds. They tend to live conservatively and dress in an inconspicuously appropriate fashion befitting their status in life. May have a characteristically blunt and direct style of communication that can take others some getting used to. They are particularly strong in matters of commitment and sacrifice, and enjoy being the benefactors in assisting society's practical needs.
    • Energy: calm, steady energy expressed outward
    • Mindset: "If I can maintain position and inclusion in the group/world, I can make sure of and keep my orderly and pleasing lifestyle." (May try to be just appealing and connected with groups enough for everyone to get out of their hair.)
    • Blind spot: Likely to neglect their desire to build their sense of personal value, accomplishment, and security of place with others for the sake of their primary concern of maintaining physical saftey, comfort, and an orderly lifestyle, in average-healthy levels. May not have an awareness of the need to stimulate the mind or emotions, of a sense of deep excitement or enthusiasm, of a need for intimate experiences, of the need for the unfamiliar. May fall into routines and, despite social connection, may feel a strange disconnection even from spouses, friends, and family.
    • Examples: Bill Gates, Donald Trump, Martha Stewart, Harrison Ford


    Source
    INFP 1w9-6w5-4w3 so/sp | Neutral Good | Melancholic-Phlegmatic


  6. #126
    Senior Member neko 4's Avatar
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    I'm sp/sx then.
    Likes The Penguin liked this post

  7. #127
    Upstanding Bird The Penguin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by neko 4 View Post
    I'm sp/sx then.
    so am I, I just realized yesterday after posting that, the reason that I withdraw a lot

    "when the safety of these [people, relationships] are challenged, they withdraw"

    I threw up my hands, bugged out my eyes, and I was like "Hello! That's the reason!"
    INFP 1w9-6w5-4w3 so/sp | Neutral Good | Melancholic-Phlegmatic


  8. #128
    Member brainheart's Avatar
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    Not sure if this is on here otherwise, but it's excellent.

    The Three Instincts - Enneagram


    Self-Preservation (SP)

    What is it?

    The self-preservation survival instinct is the instinct of physical self-protection. As living species, our bodies are the catalyst for our lives. This is the most basic ubiquitous survival instinct. If our bodies fail, we cannot live. This instinct is concerned primarily with one’s own physical body and its health, stability, protection, and ultimately that it continues to live.

    How does it manifest?

    1. Physical Well-Being

    The self-preservation instinct is primarily focused on the body itself, and its well-being. This includes health, strength, diet, fitness, and endurance. This facet of self-preservation is like a management system for your body. It seeks to find a root cause for problems in the body, and it can seek to test the body’s endurance to harm or stress.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Is this food healthy? Why do I feel so tired today? When can I get back to the gym so I can feel more energetic? Could I climb to the top of this mountain? Could I survive in the forest for one month?

    Concrete examples: Buying only organic because it’s better for you, high focus on working out or fitness, health and medicine, diets, fasting, boundaries

    2. Self-Regulation and Skills

    The basic tasks and errands that are required by life to keep one in a healthy routine are a facet of preserving the self. This also includes the skills necessary to take care of oneself such as maintenance, repairs, and the ability to adapt to new circumstances should they arise. These are the most basic and fundamental survival skills according to whatever circumstances a person is in. A person will not necessarily find pleasure in focusing on these things, but they will be a focus nonetheless. The sense of building something also goes along with these skills, whether it be making furniture or building a business. The lack of this skill can make a person see goals without having any patience or knowledge of how to reach them, such as in low SP people. In general, there is sense of practicality in these skills.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Can I take this apart/fix it? How does this work? What work needs to be done to get what I want? How can I autonomously create my own life? Did we do the laundry? Are my affairs in order? Will I be able to settle in a new place? How do I make this more convenient?

    Concrete examples: Business savvy, investment skills, home improvement, errands, administration, mechanics, sports, transportation, logistics, craftsmanship, surgery, survivalist skills

    3. Foundations and Resources

    This facet of self-preservation focuses on the tangible aspects of life such as a home, earth, food, shelter, etc. Much of this manifest into a focus on money, since we live in a world where in order to gain resources, we need money. There is also a focus on making things permanent and secure. In general, SP people may not like massive changes to their lives or uprooting something that was once a stable anchor. However, people can also test the endurance of their own ability to survive by jumping out of stable situations. Either that, or they will seek “adventure” in terms of lifestyle (ex. travel). What separates this behaviour from SP-blinds is the inner motivation to build endurance and skills, rather than the SP-blind tendency to not register foundations and resources as being something that needs to be worked for specifically. The lifestyles sought after by SP people can vary wildly between frugal and simple to opulent depending on enneagram type and individual scenarios. The idea of foundations also brings the drive to preserve things foundational in general, which can spurn an interest in things that are concrete and old or historical.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Is owning property better than renting? How much money do I have this month? Where’s the closest grocery store? Why am I stuck here when I really want to travel and see the rest of the world? Why isn’t there enough nature in this city? Do I have any savings?

    Concrete examples: Finance, eco-friendly initiatives, saving money, mutual funds, property, land, the earth, animal care, monuments, history.


    Social (SO)​

    What is it?

    The social survival instinct is the instinct of connection. Connection is a gigantic domain and so this instinct is multi-faceted and adaptable, which is part of its innate skill. The prehistoric human brain became larger and larger very quickly, which resulted in offspring being born out of the womb less developed in growth than other species. Many species’ offspring are born almost fully formed, and the period of infancy is much shorter. However, because the human brain is so large, offspring were born early with a long period of helplessness before adulthood. This meant that young sapiens needed a strong bond with a caregiver that could protect them for several years, including the parents and other tribe members. The red-alert response we get when we hear a baby crying is the social protection drive in all of us.

    This drive to form connections with another human being developed deeply in humans to point where we are able to live in extremely large societies cohesively. Few other species are able to do this. Bees and ants are examples of other very socially cohesive creatures. In humans now, this instinct is an over-identification with relationships with other humans in various ways whether they be deep or cursory.

    How does it manifest?

    1. Connection and Care

    Our brains have built-in mechanisms that register threats to our connections as pain (the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex and anterior insula). This facet of Social has a two-way street that begins in childhood and stays with us as an archetypal duality: the parent and the child. Even as adults, we not only long to be cared for, but we instinctively long to care for others. This is the instinct of closeness and “common ground.” All bonds whether they are friendships, relationships, or familial have a common ground space. It is a collection of common-denominator activities, interests, feelings, etc. that two people (or a person and a group) share. The two social stackings will find common ground in different ways, depending on their blind spot. This sense of connection and care leads humans to get a positive feeling reward when they are altruistic without any personal motivations behind it.

    The darker side to this is registering the people one should not or cannot connect with. SO-doms can be particular about who they do or don’t connect with, and they can have a negative reaction to a person or group that they see as a threat or someone to stay away from. This is nature’s way of protecting us against the “diseased” dangerous person/tribe. Examples of this are: racism, prejudice, exclusion, seeing the other as unclean (ex. hygiene, home cleanliness), seeing differences as a threat, etc. Part of protecting “us” is being a unit that unites against the dangerous “other.” This skill is useful when used against a person who is actually a threat and becomes problematic when turned into prejudices.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Who are we? What do we have in common? What connects us? Are we an item? How close are we? Are we close enough that I can call them after 9 pm? Will anyone be there for me? Does that person have germs? Why isn’t she responding to my text? Why can’t I find anyone to hang out with? Did my boss get me a birthday card? Why can’t we spend quality time? Do I have these people under control?

    Concrete examples: Asking a person how they are, active listening, friendships and close bonds, family, power seeking, group leading, group control, teaching, lecturing, imparting, social media, providing, making a difference, making an impact

    2. Mindreading

    Humans, unlike other species, are able to interpret the actions of other humans as having not just consequence but also motivation. We can even personify inanimate objects as having their own “minds” or “souls.” For example, “That willow tree looks so sad and the wind seems angry.” Our brains also have built-in mechanisms (the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex and the temporoparietal junction) to essentially make assumptions about not only the feelings of others, but their goals and aims. Seeing other humans as individual minds that have separate thoughts and motivations from us is instrumental in our success in connecting with others, knowing what they need, and reducing the pain of social rejection. This process of mind-reading is called “mentalizing,” and studies have shown that this region of the brain is active even when when we aren’t doing anything. We mentalize in the background all the time. In order to do this well, humans and animals have all kinds of unspoken rules and contracts for behavioural expectations, and it can be devastating/disorienting when these are broken. These vary depending on location and time period of life.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Does the cab driver want me to get into the car? Is this person waiting for me to pay? Is that person going to cross the street? Is my mother mad at me? Am I the only one with my windshield wipers on? Is what I’m saying too harsh? Is this polite? If that person is standing up, does that mean I should too? Should we bring a gift?

    Concrete examples: Knowing how to respond in any human interaction from paying at the grocery store to a job interview in order to create either a positive (or deliberately negative) bond/response

    3. Harmony & Social Role (You vs. Me)

    This aspect of the social instinct also has two facets: the self and the other–the “me and you” instinct. We all have a sense of self (the medial prefrontal cortex in the brain) that includes our thoughts, feelings, likes, dislikes, etc. However, this entire sense of self has been heavily shaped by society and our surroundings our entire lives. Many of the things we think or our viewpoints or ideas are shaped heavily by our external circumstances and the influence of others. When we transport ourselves to another social ecosystem elsewhere in the world or into history, we see that a sense of “normalcy” always exists, but it may be completely different than what it currently is for us. Our private sense of self in a sense is also a communal “us.”

    Self-control (ventrolateral prefrontal cortex) allows us to harmonize with others, the reward being acceptance by others. This means that our ability to shape the way we are to fit what is required of us externally requires a sense of self-control and mediation of what’s inside vs. what’s outside. Our attempt to harmonize our internal “us” with the external “them” is part of where our social “role” comes from. It allows us to put our individual selves forward in a way that will still allow us to be valuable to the group. Included in social role is also pecking order, hierarchy, and social status. These are all ways to measure who we are in comparison to others.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Who am I? Should I post this photo? Is this the right thing to wear? How should I say this? Why would they have this political view, when mine is clearly correct? How does my creation measure up against others’? What makes me me?

    Concrete examples: Getting along with others, forming alliances, living harmoniously with other humans, forming lines, having a sense of self that you consciously present to others, knowing how you come across, knowing how to behave, protesting, unionizing, understanding social protocol (one can reject social protocol, but Social would be aware of this deliberate rebellion, rather than Social blinds not registering the situation), consciously accepting or rejecting what others expect you to be, feeling social humiliation.



    Sexual (SX)

    What is it?

    The sexual survival instinct is the instinct of attraction and seduction. Beyond the physical drive to actually have sex, this instinct is the drive to attract sex. As a species, mating is a means of keeping the human race alive. However it is often not easy to ensure a mating partner. We have choice in who we mate with, and humans have developed attraction strategies to ensure that they are consistently able to seduce the interest of a mate. Sexual selection has ensured that our most attractive qualities be genetically passed on through the ages. For example, the female peacock is attracted to large, colourful plumage, and so it evolved to grow larger and more elaborate. In people, this instinct is an over-identification with the attraction strategies and elements of mating (beyond the act of copulation itself).

    How does it manifest?

    ​1. Arousal vs. Repulsion
    The sexual instinct seeks to be aroused and also elicit that response in others. It wishes to be energetically “turned-on” by people/things. SX-doms tend to be a slave to the things that arouse them, moving intensely toward these things in the manner of a drug addiction. When humans are sexually aroused, studies have shown that they are less likely to be disgusted by the smells of their partner’s body or even feel as sensitive to physical pain. It’s nature’s way of ensuring that the intense and boundary-destroying act of sex be a deep need in us, and that we are not deterred from mating by other instinctual boundaries. However, when one is not sexually aroused, the idea of sex with the unwanted mate is repulsive and can produce a disgust response. This is also nature’s way of ensuring we mate with the right person and be turned off by the wrong person according to the sexual instinct’s innate intelligence. We are either “turned on” or “turned off.” While a SX-dom does not necessarily wish instinctively to repulse or be repulsed, in a way, repulsing another can be confirmation that they are having an effect. If there’s no response, then they are not adequately sending attraction signals, since people’s response to sex is either turned on or off.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Is this exciting to me? Do I crave it? Do they crave me? How deep can I penetrate this? Why aren’t they hooked on me? Will they be turned off if I do this?

    Concrete examples: Pushing a person’s boundaries, trying to get a rise out of someone, invading their comfort zone, locking someone into you

    2. Fusion via Seduction & Display

    The sexual instinct aims to fuse chemically with another. In a sense, this need for fusion on in both parties can be objectifying. It is not a caring social fusion, but rather a chemical need to be mixed together. Achieving this fusion via seduction and display manifests in two ways:

    a. Loss of Self - The Orifice - Feminine
    There are certain creatures (such as cicadas and male preying mantises) who work vigorously to mate only so they can die immediately after. There is a sense of giving oneself completely over to fusing with another being that you completely lose yourself in the process. Metaphorically, this is the feminine aspect of this instinct (we all have both feminine and masculine regardless of gender). It is the open hole, the receptive socket for self-transformation. “Make me one with you.” Often, the depictions of the sexual instinct in subtype literature focus only on the aggressive/masculine tendency of this instinct. But both the feminine and masculine are present in all of us, and SX-doms in particular can tend to wear more androgyny. This is the aspect of sexual that is creative, open, receptive, soft, and is a complete opening of all boundaries. This can soften certain enneagram types such as 8 or 5 who normally have physical/emotional/mental walls up. This brings the walls down in a way that SX-blinds would be opposed to.

    b. Aggression/Display - The Phallus - Masculine
    In most animals species, it is the male species who displays themselves to attract a suitable female partner. The peacock has its feathers, other birds have their intricate nests and special dances, etc. Humans have their creativity, or the thing that makes them stand out beyond others for display. These displays can be pointless from a survival standpoint, but they aim to attract a mate. For example, the peacock’s feathers slow him down and make it more difficult to escape predators. Point being, this instrument of sexual display actually threatens its self-preservation. However, the pointless display is important for its attraction strategy because it’s the hook that gets him mates. Humans can advertise their special scars, talents, exposing the underbelly of what’s beneath them, metaphorically the exposed phallus.
    Note: In humans, both the masculine and feminine strategies are present in all of us regardless of gender or sexual orientation. One may be more of a focus than others. However in both these strategies, there is an intense psychological nudity stemming from making oneself vulnerable.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Are we one? Am I penetrating? Am I leaving my scent or my mark on this person? Do they want me? Will they find someone else to be hooked on? Why aren’t they addicted to me? What can I become? What can I transform into?

    Concrete examples: Letting yourself be taken, emotional/psychological nudity and openness, displaying something that’s an emotional or physical scar, deliberate androgyny as an attraction strategy (different from transgenderism which is an orientation without any apparent link to the Sexual instinct as described in the enneagram), allowing yourself to be changed or transformed by another, having a particular attraction strategy, fluid boundaries

    3. Chemistry

    The sexual instinct needs to feel the chemistry of being hooked into someone/something and have it returned. SX-doms can feel like a hunter waiting for their prey, or prey waiting for their hunter. They are sending out pheromones wherever they go, aiming to leave their “scent” on others. Their biggest fear is being undesirable or losing that chemistry. Not being captivating or interesting enough to attract a mate is devastating. To use the peacock example again, the male peacock can put a great deal of mental and physical energy into their display, and still the female might just not think it’s arousing enough to mate. The synergy that is craved in SX is a sense of simultaneous giving and taking (although the giving isn’t altruistic). It can be paralleled abstractly in vampire literature where the vampire bites and drains blood but the victim gains pleasure from it, or at the very least, this is usually eroticized. During intercourse or other kinds of mutual sexual activity, both people involved crave the other as an object to “take” but also enjoy “being taken” by the other. Both people are objectifying each other but getting what they crave in the process. This chemical synergy of objectification on both sides locks both people into a chemical flow.
    Note: This kind of chemistry is not the same as love or connection, however, humans of course have the ability to mix love with sex. However the Sexual instinctual drive is a separate domain. Connection and bonding is more in the Social instinct domain. And love and intimacy are not instincts.

    Possible examples of thoughts: Is there a building energy between us? Are we magnetically drawn to each other? Can we sustain this? If it’s gone, what else is out there?

    Concrete examples: A heat between you and another that registers as sexual, a sense of addiction or obsession, possession, turning off most people to attract the one that likes your scent.
    459

  9. #129

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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    Not sure if this is on here otherwise, but it's excellent.
    I can't relate to most of it. It's also written from an SO perspective.

  10. #130
    Member brainheart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    I can't relate to most of it. It's also written from an SO perspective.
    Interesting. I'm curious: what don't you relate to? What sexual instinct descriptions do you relate to? This was what clinched sexual dom for me:

    Sexual types tend to have difficulty pursuing their own projects or taking adequate care of themselves, because on a subconscious level, they are always looking outside themselves for the person or situation that will complete them. They are like a plug looking for a socket and can become obsessed with another if they feel they have the right person for them. They may neglect important obligations, or even their own basic necessities, if they are swept up in someone or something that has captivated them.

    When they are unhealthy, Sexual types can experience a scattering of their attention and a profound lack of focus. They may act out in sexual promiscuity or become trapped in a fearful, dysfunctional attitude toward sex and intimacy. When the latter becomes their orientation, they will be equally intense about their avoidances.
    I agree, the social instinct description is problematic. It seems to imply that only humans have the social instinct, which is flat-out wrong. There are social insects, like the honeybee. There are social mammals, like the elephant. Also, there are multitudes of non-social animals who care for their young for extended amounts of time, like bears, cats, and most species of birds (they all have young who are just as helpless when born as newborn humans). In other words, caring for someone beyond yourself- the basis of empathy- must not be the exclusive domain of the social instinct, so it's wrong to sequester it to it.


    All in all, I think the Riso-Hudson descriptions are the most balanced when it comes to presenting the instincts.
    459

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