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  1. #1
    Pyromanic tea Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Default sx relationships?

    I have read various posts, threads, articles, and whatnot of varying levels of accuracy in content that SX is love, lust, mating, partnership, consummation, finding 'the one', the 'soulmate', spark, magnetism, seduction, etc. Very often, these descriptions seem to very specifically describe, or at least imply, a more romantic or even eros- erotic, lustful- kind of partnership (I have yet to find someone describing their mother as eliciting magnetic sparks of charismatic desirability. Yet, obviously, SX individuals do bond with more than romantic or sexual interests. Obviously, something is wrong here in how SX may be advertised).

    Just like how SP does not mean that the person does not care for other people, or SOC doesn't mean that the person loves groups and would not be interested in marrying, I wonder about the view of relationships- general relationships, friends, family, or even with your pet- how it is viewed from an SX lens.

    How do you experience relationships in general if you are SX? What differs, and in what way do they differ from other instincts? How would you describe it? What makes it SX? How do you value them? What do you seek in and from these individuals?


    Subtypes - Enneagram Monthly

    Here is a simple site listing down what each variant is or isn't. You can refer to these if you do not know where or how to begin, and to provide yourself with more context of where and how these instincts may differ- your own views are also very much welcome, as well as agreements or disagreements with any point present in this site. You do not have to be sx- you may post your own observations and understandings. Anecdotes and internet sources are welcome. Adding more questions are also very very welcome.
    Non mi snudare senza ragione.
    Non mi impugnare senza valore.

  2. #2
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    How do you experience relationships in general if you are SX? What differs, and in what way do they differ from other instincts? How would you describe it? What makes it SX? How do you value them? What do you seek in and from these individuals?
    That is a very odd site, and the views on the variants a bit skewed from what I usually see. Most descriptions I have read emphasize that sx is not about sex, or physical intimacy, or eroticism, or any of that, though some expressions of sexual intimacy fall under it.

    I should point out here that I am sx only second, so my experiences will be different from someone with sx first. My preference, my default, then, is always the sp option: keep my distance, be guarded and cautious, stay inside the walls. When I do venture out, though, it is generally for that one-on-one connection that sx represents, rather than the group camaraderie more associated with so. Group experiences are confusing, stressful, and draining, without providing much in return. What I see is at best the tip of many icebergs, but little glimpse of what lies deeper below. For that I need to spend time with someone one-on-one, or at least in a very small group, where we have time to talk and get to know each other on more than a superficial level.

    So, my relationships as an sp/sx tend to be mostly what I will call "professional". This includes not only relationships at work and in my career, but also those relationships we all have that are based on practical transactions, with people like store clerks, medical providers, landlords, etc. In fact, this is my default for everyone at first: I will deal with you in whatever way necessary to accomplish whatever business brings us together, then we go our separate ways. Yes, this applies even in purely social situations.

    Every so often, someone I am interacting with will say or do something that suggests we might have a similar approach to things, a similar way of thinking. I don't mean necessarily similar views or interests, or even that we agree on most things. It is more of a sense that we are on the same wavelength, that even if we disagree or do things differently, we will understand each other fairly readily, and enjoy discussing a similar spectrum of topics at greater depth. Such people are rare, and when I do find one, our conversations are what I have described as "mental flying", or as the feast after subsisting for months on water and granola bars. It may be possible to have this sort of interaction with multiple people at once, but it doesn't happen to me.

    So what I get from such people/relationships, and their value to me, is a feeling of being understood, and the opportunity to explore topics and ideas that most people aren't interested in, at a depth most people won't or can't support.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #3
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Sx wants to be able to plug into others and send sparks and shocks back and forth, romantically or otherwise. Neither individual can pick and choose who elicits reactions, meaning that it will either be there or it won't. Sx individuals are very picky about whom they like to share this exchange with and they use the elements of attraction and repulsion to control the dynamic. The second instinct will be used in support of the first, so an Sx/Sp type may stonewall those that don't interest them, whereas an Sx/So may use social dynamics to encourage the connections they want (like being obvious about the fact that they enjoy interacting with someone else more than you). Conversely, you can observe what they are blind to when they are rejecting someone. Is it the social dynamic including niceties or hierarchical expectations (Sx/Sp), or is it personal boundaries (Sx/So)?
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself


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  4. #4
    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Mysterious Stranger's Avatar
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    well now this just makes me wonder if im not SP
    I am but a dream--
    Your dream,
    A creature of your imagination...


    We're all Faery Tales; after a fashion,
    Our stories unfolding around us...
    and through us...



    In a moment you will have realized this,
    then you will banish me from your visions
    and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me...


  5. #5
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mysterious Stranger View Post
    well now this just makes me wonder if im not SP
    Many of my mental ramblings happen on the spot and aren't yet well fleshed out. Don't read too much into what I said, my intellectual wanderings are usually a work in progress.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  6. #6

    Default

    Enneagram experts have differing opinions. But for a typology that's directive, this is problematic.

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