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  1. #1
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Default Struggling with lack of intensity

    I'm not changing my type, per se, but I am confessing to struggling with a lack of intensity or "life juice".

    I'm very single, very friendless, very naturally asocial and withdrawn, and feel little need do change any of this both for the sake of growth, and because humans are too demanding.

    But, what do I do when I crave that intimate connection? I know it doesn't have to be a person, but I've struggled finding a thing that replaces it. I've dabbled in photography, hiking, foraging, art, and buying things that "make me happy", but I always end up on the couch at night wanting more.

    Generally, I tend to succumb to exhibitionism in one form or another, which I eventually grew ashamed of. Now, I'm more comfortable with accepting that aspect of my personality, but I still don't want to go completely overboard with it.

    So, what do you frustrated sexuals do when life leaves you feeling internally restless and unsatisfied?
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  2. #2
    darkened dreams Ravenetta's Avatar
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    bellydance classes help me, except I'm confused by the ones in my new town because they wear up to fifty pounds of fabric. it makes me kinda sad to think about it and quite confused to make sense of why. dance is helpful for emotional intensity and expression.

    I also listen to metal music and other intense music.
    It's entirely possible and realistic to live your life in such a way that you don't accidentally rape people. ME
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN
    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY
    You have to let the metaphysical guy chase you. ABIGAIL
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  3. #3
    Fire & Ice Chaotic Symphony's Avatar
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    Well on the more negative side of things I shall remember dark memories, brood upon my intense emotions, and turn them into intense angry or depressed art.

    On a slightly less negative side, I will provoke this intensity into some sort of cause or passion. This may include writing a 5,000 word reply to someone about why this album is so much better than the other album. Almost obsessive...

    On a far healthier side, I will indulge in catharsis. Reading books or listening to music that capture the intensity. Help breed on the fantasies.

    But truly,
    *high five for relatability* I have been a halfway asocial Sx dom for a bit now after some negative experiences cuz humans can really suck ass you know? XD
    Fearsome hearts, I wouldn't lie
    I got memories that travels my mind
    Fear not, fear not when you go
    I got pieces of your hate in my soul
    Look at me now
    I'm falling apart in daylight
    All the pieces that I've lost, I have loved


    Formerly: JazzyLarsen, Crystal Winter Dream, Hummingbird Spirit

  4. #4
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    I wish I had an answer. I do nothing. My physically disabilities leave me without any sort of outlet ( and I'm not satisfied with anything less) so I'm just bored and restless 24/7
    “ they’re on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, they’re behind us…they can’t get away this time”

    "These voices scream at me "Let it go!"
    (never let go)
    This time I'm screaming back "No! No! No!"
    (Go on say no)
    My mind's made up, yeah my fear is gone
    Open my eyes now here I come: Oblivion."

  5. #5
    ∂ιѕﻭяα¢є∂ ¢σѕмσηαυт Luminous's Avatar
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    Music, yes. Dancing, yes. Getting lost doing something I love, like photography. Numbing myself with internet or tv.

    But, for me, the pain doesn't really go away for very long. I might find the place, or activity, or person I love and connect so fiercely with, but it's always temporary. You can't stay in paradise forever. You can't photograph the autumn leaves forever, they'll fall to the ground and the wind will chill you. You can't spend every moment with that someone who simultaneously sates your thirst and makes you want to drink more until you're drunk on them, who consumes you, who you'd happily go up in flames for, if you even do find one.

    ƒ O ᖇ G E ᗪ I ᑎ ƒ I ᖇ E ★
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    h n g ⊱9w1✶S✶5w4✶X✶2w1⊰ g h t
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    ★ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴇʟꜱ★
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  6. #6
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    I wish I had an answer. I do nothing. My physically disabilities leave me without any sort of outlet ( and I'm not satisfied with anything less) so I'm just bored and restless 24/7
    That's very frustrating, I feel for you. I relate but I can't say I'm significantly physically disabled. Mentally and emotionally though? That tends to make me stagnant/ineffectual.

    I hope things improve for you somehow.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  7. #7
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    I stare bleakly at nothing.

    I mean I think that's part of the nature of it; I'm not sure there's anything to DO about it. Highs by nature cannot last. I might in theory crave them and savor them when I am immersed in something like that, but there's also the knowledge it won't and cannot last so that's the bleakness. But yes, me being dissatisfied with what I'm doing with my life/my life in general is a well known feeling. As is loneliness.

    I guess it's why I try to just be at peace and take it for what it is; if I need to sit and do nothing and be dissatisfied about it, so be it. I know too that won't last. The people element is trickier. I always end up preferring to be on my own and preferring loneliness over going out into 'groups' or trying to actively meet people.

    Things that keep me in better overall frames of mind? Ensuring that I stay physically active, and get out into nature enough. But also it's important for me to listen to my body when it just wants to mope at home. Sometimes I need a day of moping.

    Summary: I don't really have an answer. For me I'm not sure it's solvable. I deeply enjoy and experience great moments of richness and connection and thankfully always have, but these are bright wonderful blips in an otherwise pretty calm solitary life. Edit: I am convinced this is a main element of why traveling and seeing new places can almost be classified as a 'need' for me. It really does fulfill that 'life intensity' and richness piece, even if just for that duration. But I also know I don't desire to perpetually travel; that would grow tiresome. I like having a home too much too.

    Edit 2:Sorry, obviously not sx dom.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
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  8. #8
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    This feeling of lack is why I indulge in drinking, far too often as of late. I'm stubborn in that I find excuses not to try something different, or just simply don't do it and make no excuse for doing so. Drinking and listening to music and dancing has become a favorite, but it's significantly less natural for me to do something like that without a substance.

    Why can't drinking just be good for you?

    I'd be satisfied if I could replace it with physical activity, but the high never lives up to my expectations, and I never stick to it for more than a couple months.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself



  9. #9

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    I didn’t learn to enjoy simple things until I almost died. In a way, I wish I had almost died back in my 20’s to snap my ass out of a lame malaise I spent years wandering around in. I tried livening things up with drugs (nothing too hardcore but still) and wasted time when I could’ve been enjoying an afternoon breeze or the way the water appears like liquid silver when the last light of day touches it’s surface. It really is the little things for me now, that and having someone to share them with.
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  10. #10
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    I didn’t learn to enjoy simple things until I almost died. In a way, I wish I had almost died back in my 20’s to snap my ass out of a lame malaise I spent years wandering around in. I tried livening things up with drugs (nothing too hardcore but still) and wasted time when I could’ve been enjoying an afternoon breeze or the way the water appears like liquid silver when the last light of day touches it’s surface. It really is the little things for me now, that and having someone to share them with.
    That's kind of the whole thing though.
    Perpetual mood


    “Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
    And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
    Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.”


    - look it up yourself


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