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How many children would you ideally like to have (bio or otherwise)?

How many children would you ideally like to have (bio or otherwise)?


  • Total voters
    75

cafe

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Earth is severely overpopulated, only selfish people would give birth to more kids. It's like pet breeding. If you want kids - adopt those in need, don't create new ones. Your genes and offspring is nothing at all special. My sister said I was acting bitter when I told her this, yet I think I was acting accordingly in order to preserve our lovely planet.
Price of entry is much lower when you grow your own.
 

Noll

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Price of entry is much lower when you grow your own.
It's all about money, isn't it? Yes, I forgot. That's the most important thing in the world. Well, what do you mean? I'm confused.
 

cafe

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It's all about money, isn't it? Yes, I forgot. That's the most important thing in the world. Well, what do you mean? I'm confused.
It means if you want kids (or even pets) and you want to adopt, there are all kinds of hoops you have to jump through in order to do it and it takes a decent amount of money. Breeding your own (kids) is free. It costs money down the road, of course, but you can do it low-budget if you need to. I think it would have only been in the last few years, if then, that my husband and I would have been allowed to adopt.

Our kids are all nearly grown (15-21) and are not criminals or delinquents or anything. We aren't amazing parents but we are adequate, but we wouldn't have been allowed to adopt until we were nearly middle aged.

Also, not everyone is physically or emotionally equipped to handle special needs kids or kids that have already been subject to years of neglect or abuse. Kids without issues, especially young, white kids, are very high demand.

We rolled the dice and got two out of four white babies with no issues. Two have autism, one mild, one moderate, but that stuff is pretty normal for our family (my husband is likely autistic and our moderately autistic kid is a lot like him, so we can both deal).

At this point, I'm not against the idea of becoming a foster parent, but the six of us live in a two bedroom house with a leaky roof and no furnace (we paid cash for it after we lost our house in the recession). We could throw another set of bunk beds in the kids' bedroom, but I don't think we'd pass muster for a home inspection from the folks that hand out foster kids.
 

Noll

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It means if you want kids (or even pets) and you want to adopt, there are all kinds of hoops you have to jump through in order to do it and it takes a decent amount of money. Breeding your own (kids) is free. It costs money down the road, of course, but you can do it low-budget if you need to. I think it would have only been in the last few years, if then, that my husband and I would have been allowed to adopt.

Our kids are all nearly grown (15-21) and are not criminals or delinquents or anything. We aren't amazing parents but we are adequate, but we wouldn't have been allowed to adopt until we were nearly middle aged.

Also, not everyone is physically or emotionally equipped to handle special needs kids or kids that have already been subject to years of neglect or abuse. Kids without issues, especially young, white kids, are very high demand.

We rolled the dice and got two out of four white babies with no issues. Two have autism, one mild, one moderate, but that stuff is pretty normal for our family (my husband is likely autistic and our moderately autistic kid is a lot like him, so we can both deal).

At this point, I'm not against the idea of becoming a foster parent, but the six of us live in a two bedroom house with a leaky roof and no furnace (we paid cash for it after we lost our house in the recession). We could throw another set of bunk beds in the kids' bedroom, but I don't think we'd pass muster for a home inspection from the folks that hand out foster kids.
I see. Though ultimately, adopting, or having no kids at all would be the best. Doing the worst possible thing just because it's cheaper, or because you can handle it easier - because YOU and only YOU demand it, because you 'have to', is selfish. That is just my point of view, and I'm sure you don't care.
 

cafe

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I see. Though ultimately, adopting, or having no kids at all would be the best. Doing the worst possible thing just because it's cheaper, or because you can handle it easier - because YOU and only YOU demand it, because you 'have to', is selfish. That is just my point of view, and I'm sure you don't care.
Well, it's a little late now, I'd think. I mean, I could probably borrow a gun, take them out back, and shoot them in the head but after the first one, they'd probably have me figured out and most of them are bigger than me. :laugh:

And I didn't have to, I wanted to. And yes, it was selfish. But, really, aren't we all selfish in our own ways?
 

Noll

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Well, it's a little late now, I'd think. I mean, I could probably borrow a gun, take them out back, and shoot them in the head but after the first one, they'd probably have me figured out and most of them are bigger than me. :laugh:

And I didn't have to, I wanted to. And yes, it was selfish. But, really, aren't we all selfish in our own ways?
I never meant that anyone should kill the children they already made. We may be selfish to some degree, but there's plenty of ways to reduce it. This would be one of these ways. That will never happen though, everyone has different priorities, it's just my high expectations on a silly world.

"High expectations on a silly world." Damn, that sounded cool.
 

cafe

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I never meant that anyone should kill the children they already made. We may be selfish to some degree, but there's plenty of ways to reduce it. This would be one of these ways. That will never happen though, everyone has different priorities, it's just my high expectations on a silly world.

"High expectations on a silly world." Damn, that sounded cool.
Everyone thinks their expectations are higher than those of people who differ from them. The Duggars think they have high expectations, and they in many ways do. Yours are high, too, in many ways, but different from mine. I selfishly wanted to create the family I believed I would have liked to have had when I was a kid. I am amazed at how well I've managed to pull it off, frankly, and it wasn't easy, let me tell you. My own high expectations helped.
 
Last edited:

HongDou

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Earth is severely overpopulated, only selfish people would give birth to more kids. It's like pet breeding. If you want kids - adopt those in need, don't create new ones. Your genes and offspring is nothing at all special. My sister said I was acting bitter when I told her this, yet I think I was acting accordingly in order to preserve our lovely planet.

Some people just want the experience of going through the stage's of pregnancy. Call them selfish, but if that's what has more meaning for them then I wouldn't say they're the scum of the earth for doing so. :shrug:

I personally want someone close to me to be the surrogate parent (my ESFJ bestie has volunteered half jokingly, half seriously) just because it's one of the fascinating wonders of life I want to experience. /E7
 

Nara

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Earth is severely overpopulated, only selfish people would give birth to more kids. It's like pet breeding. If you want kids - adopt those in need, don't create new ones. Your genes and offspring is nothing at all special. My sister said I was acting bitter when I told her this, yet I think I was acting accordingly in order to preserve our lovely planet.

Come on, nowadays everybody knows it's not a matter of overpopulation, it's a matter of resource distribution... Moreover your way of living has a much more negative impact on your "lovely planet" than the ecological footprint of a bunch of Bengalis for instance. Remember it before blaming others for their choice.
 

Noll

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Come on, nowadays everybody knows it's not a matter of overpopulation, it's a matter of resource distribution... Moreover your way of living has a much more negative impact on your "lovely planet" than the ecological footprint of a bunch of Bengalis for instance. Remember it before blaming others for their choice.
http://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2009/jul/family-planning-major-environmental-emphasis

Of course, making the rest of the world more equal is very important. I'm just 'lucky' to be born into a first world society.
 

Nara

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http://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2009/jul/family-planning-major-environmental-emphasis

Of course, making the rest of the world more equal is very important. I'm just 'lucky' to be born into a first world society.

Depends on what equality is based on... The problem is that all countries want to be in line with the western capitalist system and our way of life, and it's impossible to go against this process for many (not only ethical) reasons.

It's a bit more complicated than that, partly because as a country is achieving a sustainable development, and people are getting access to education, at the end there's a demographic regulation. And mostly because, even if the population declines, we'll still need to reconsider the whole economic system we all participate...
 

kyuuei

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Not against the idea of fostering a child, nor adopting a child, nor informally caring for a child that is just in a bad situation and needed serious help. I like helping others, and I like caring for people that need someone in their life. Having children though terrifies me--every facet of the procedure, to the point where I am terrified of the pediatrics rotations I'll be going through in school in the fall.

I have nightmares of having a child. I'm especially terrified of caring for a child primarily--either due to the father working, or being on my own entirely.

I've said before on here I have no idea what the future holds for me, and I'm not a mind reader.. but at the age of 27 I still feel as firmly on the issue as when I was 15. Hypothetically, if I truly loved someone, and they loved me, and I knew there was no way they'd abandon me, and they wanted a kid so badly that it was putting a serious strain on our relationship and I knew it was something he wanted to truly fulfill in his life.. I'd entertain the idea of him being a stay-at-home dad, on the condition that he doesn't get all butt-hurt and uppity about me basically ignoring the kid for the first 4-5 years, and especially in the first 2 years. I just cannot handle it.
 

Flâneuse

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I want 3 kids: 1 or 2 biological children when I'm 35-38, and then I'll adopt the rest. Like a lot of people, many of my reasons for wanting kids are selfish, but I think I'll make a pretty good mother someday.
 

BlackDog

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5+. There's no sense setting up a good method unless you efficiently keep it going for multiple people. Besides, big families can be amazing. Or horrible. But I'd make sure it wasn't horrible. Or so I think . . . But I doubt this will happen.
 

Rasofy

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For some weird reason, I changed mind and would like to have 2 or 3 children, providing I find an awesome partner.
 
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