Nachoes... OF THE GODS!

[Katsuni]

These are no ordinary nachoes.

Oh no. No, not ordinary. Not even able to be called nachoes really. "plain old nachoes" HA.

These... these are pure win nachoes.

These are nachoes the like of which the world has never seen before.

These are the nachoes that when yeu die and go to heaven and ask for nachoes, yeu will recieve these, and then yeu will DIE AGAIN from how much pure awesome is packed into them!

These... are the nachoes... OF THE GODS!




- 1 bag nachoes! (durr whot'd yeu expect?) I used Doritoes zesty cheese nachoes for it

- 1 jar of cheeze nacho dip; I used a 400ml jar of tostitos salsa con queso

- 1/2 can of black olives (about 250ml)

- 1/2 jar jalapino peppers (about 200ml)

- 1 large tomato, just slightly under ripe, not fully red yet; keeps it from getting too mushy when cooking

- 1/2 package of hot itallian sausage; I can get the stuff like it's hamburger, rather than having to get sausages and cut them open, yay for being able to skip a step!

- Frank's redhot sauce (about 5 tbsp, yes I'm insane)

- 1-2 tbsp lemon juice

- 2 tbsp ground cayenne

- 1 tbsp fresh ground black peppercorn

- 2 tbsp oregano

- chili flakes (sprinkle on top)

- parmesan cheese (grated; also sprinkle on top)




How to make:

Brown the sausage meat by frying pan; olive oil works well here.

Add the cheese salsa dip, just pour it into the pan, drain the black olives and add those. Yeu can just pick the jalapinos out without having to drain, a little more spice to the sauce doesn't hurt here at all. If yeur jalapinos are whole, slice them into more managable sizes, roughly about the size of the black olives. Same dealie with the black olives, actually; slice them if they're whole.

Add the rest of the ingredients after these are stirred in, make sure to dice the tomato into tiny chunks.

Bring sauce to a boil on medium heat, then let it simmer but don't cover it. I forgot to check the clock so I have no clue how long for, but just leave it until it seems like it's probably done. Let it sit for a few minutes after so it finishes thickening, then get a nice big plate or bowl of nachoes, and pour the sauce on top.

Makes enough for about 1 bag of nachoes.




Warning: Bring milk. Or chocolate milk. Just don't drink pop or beer with these, they're spicy enough that most people won't be able to handle them with just a simple water based drink.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Katsuni. Thank yeu so much! I love spicy foods!

 

[JustHer]

Spellcheck ftw

 

[Katsuni]

Spellcheck ftw

Spellcheck is a lie! Even "Spellcheck" shows up as improper spelling under spellcheck. Actually so too, does "ftw". 100% of yeur entire post is wrong under spellcheck!

So... no nachoes for yeu!

Even if they're technically nachos. But they should be nachoes. So they are. SO THERE!

Katsuni. Thank yeu so much! I love spicy foods!

Welcome of course! Spicy's where it's at! If yeu want "real" food, yeu should know yeu're eating it. Not something yeu find yeu've been munching on for the last 10 minutes and didn't notice. No, yeu should put it in yeur mouth and it should knock yeu to the ground and curb stomp yeu, and tell yeu that yeu don't deserve to taste its' pure epic winness >=O

 

[JocktheMotie]

Welcome of course! Spicy's where it's at! If yeu want "real" food, yeu should know yeu're eating it. Not something yeu find yeu've been munching on for the last 10 minutes and didn't notice. No, yeu should put it in yeur mouth and it should knock yeu to the ground and curb stomp yeu, and tell yeu that yeu don't deserve to taste its' pure epic winness >=O

I tell everyone who will listen [my walls] that spicy foods are the reason I haven't gotten sick in about 8 years. That all those baby fetuses I eat. Stem cells are great!

 

[Katsuni]

Unfortunately I get sick pretty often. And I think I lost my voice once due to it... I'm pretty sure I had a minor burn in my throat from way too much spicy stuffs which caused alot of other problems that led up to that.

Oh well.

Spicy is still win. But only if it tastes good. Why so much indian food is meh. Sure it's hot, but the flavour sucks on half their dishes. The other half are nice though.

 

[Tallulah]

1/2 package of hot itallian sausage; I can get the stuff like it's hamburger, rather than having to get sausages and cut them open, yay for being able to skip a step!

- Frank's redhot sauce (about 5 tbsp, yes I'm insane)

- 2 tbsp ground cayenne

- 1 tbsp fresh ground black peppercorn

- chili flakes (sprinkle on top)

This would literally kill me. How are you still walking around?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Actually not a huge Franks Red Hot fan, seems more sweet to me than anything. More of a Sriracha person myself. Burns the hair right out of your nostrils!

 

[teslashock]

Typology Lesson #407: Unless you want to have a coronary, don't hire an ENTP to be your personal chef.

 

[BlackCat]

These sound pretty damn tasty, leave out all of the spicy stuff besides the jalapenos and it sounds good.

 

[Biaxident]

Actually not a huge Franks Red Hot fan, seems more sweet to me than anything. More of a Sriracha person myself. Burns the hair right out of your nostrils!

Amen. Franks is on the low end of the hot scale. It's for sissies.

 

[Lux]

More of a Sriracha person myself. Burns the hair right out of your nostrils!

Best hot sauce in the land.

It's perfect with black beans, yellow rice, and a baked chicken. Or on sushi, or most things really...

 

[Katsuni]

Yeah I'd noticed that about franks... it isn'tg hot at all just... sweet. I use so much of it since I like the flavour but I've never noticed it increase the heat value.

 

[Valiant]

I tell everyone who will listen [my walls] that spicy foods are the reason I haven't gotten sick in about 8 years. That all those baby fetuses I eat. Stem cells are great!

Hey, it's true. I haven't had a sick day since autumn 2007
80% of everything I eat contains lots of hotness. Not baby fetuses
I only eat those at Samhain...
I wonder, I wonder... Could it really be the reason?
Used to be ill (colds, coughs, the occasional fever) all the time before.
The sudden stop of it all coincides with me learning how to cook.

My mother is a terrible cook, since her idea of heavy seasoning is dill in the sour cream.
Typical Swedish/Finnish boondock food culture isn't really that exciting.
The first thing I did when I had my own place was to eat tacos and fajitas a week in a row. Breakfast-lunch-dinner.
Not kidding.

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Someone needs to Australianize this recipe into brands I recognize. I vote Trinity.

 

[Katsuni]

Meh don't need the brand names honestly I just put them there so people would know exactly whot I used so it could be identically replicated.

Yeu can use any kind of nachoes that already have been cheesed, and a cheese based dipping sauce would work regardless of the brand I'm sure. The hot sauce admittedly is far more sweet than hot though; would suggest cutting back on the amount if yeu use a hot sauce that's actually hot is all. Make those changes and it should be compatible anywhere.

 

[miss fortune]

I tend to use chorizo for nachos, but I live in a heavily hispanic area so foods of the sort are really easy to find... sounds good though

 

[Geoff]

I tend to use chorizo for nachos, but I live in a heavily hispanic area so foods of the sort are really easy to find... sounds good though

Hehe.. i was reading the thread thinking "man this would be way better with chorizo". How about instead of the franks, 2 or 3 nice and smoky chipotles soaked and made into a paste?

 

[JivinJeffJones]

Meh don't need the brand names honestly I just put them there so people would know exactly whot I used so it could be identically replicated.

Yeu can use any kind of nachoes that already have been cheesed, and a cheese based dipping sauce would work regardless of the brand I'm sure. The hot sauce admittedly is far more sweet than hot though; would suggest cutting back on the amount if yeu use a hot sauce that's actually hot is all. Make those changes and it should be compatible anywhere.

Fair enough. I'm not sure we actually have cheese-based dipping sauces, but I can probably improvise something there. And how much is 1/2 a package of italian sausage roughly? I really have no idea.

 

[Katsuni]

Fair enough. I'm not sure we actually have cheese-based dipping sauces, but I can probably improvise something there. And how much is 1/2 a package of italian sausage roughly? I really have no idea.

About a 1/2 lb or 1/4kg would work out to about right. It's not exact but yeu can add or remove meat as yeu prefer; I think maybe I would've used a bit more meat but wanted to save some for the next batch I bought ingredients for =3


For a cheese based dipping sauce, if yeu lack that, using old chedder would probably work best. I just used the cheese salsa stuff because it was more reliable... I've tried this before with mozzarella and discovered that mozza has the interesting property, that when it's melted, it acts like some weird molten plastic... it doesn't stick to anything it just flows over on top of it then resolidifies and doesn't really stay on top properly. Chedder generally stays melted once yeu melt it once, so that'd probably be the best choice off the top of my head, though there may be other cheeses that would work better.




Also note that the so called "hot itallian sausages" yeu get here... aren't very similar to traditional itallian sausage, which are normally dry and thick; these are oddly quite juicy, and honestly not spicy at all. They taste soooo good though.

They look kinda like that though... which looks nothing like salami, pepperoni, or other traditional itallian sausage.

I'm willing to bet yeu could substitute german sausage as well =3

I just find hamburger (ground beef) is so bland on its' own, not nearly the same strong, tasty flavour of a good sausage ^^