ADHD

[miss fortune]

Ugh, it’s just some perverted dog chasing its tail isn’t it? Taking meds for one thing, then taking additional meds for the side effects of that other drug, and so on and so on. I do get more anxious while on my ADHD meds, like just an overall sort of anxiety, with no real locus, but I’ve also noticed that cutting out or severely reducing my coffee intake helps limit that anxiety I get from the meds. Much easier said than done though as I love the flavor of coffee and after so many years of self medicating with the self, it’s a habit that I can’t just suddenly break. Like, even if I don’t need the coffee in the morning, because of my stimulant meds, I still feel “off” only because I’m so used to starting off the day with a couple cups. I’ve been better about it though, but still hard to kick the habit.

I start my day with concerta, wellbutrin, modafinil and coffee... all of which are stimulants... I can still take a nap

but yeah... about half of what I take is to correct the other half of what I take... it's like the old lady who swallowed a fly or something!

I'm pretty much at a balance now though, so I'm trying not to throw it off by changing any habits or medications, and it's kind of sad, when you think about it... psych meds are a highwire act in a way

 

[Starry]

After I read this I felt like I needed to give some of my thoughts about this topic. Obviously because I am an Ne-dom as well and had to study ADD/ADHD as a condition. Now I normally don't deal with ADHD/ADD at work because we deal with adults mostly and this condition is in general heavier and more developed in children, but it has happened that we diagnosed an adult with it and refer them to someone of expertise in this area.
So here follow a few thoughts and experiences about this condition ...
With symptoms like short attention span, problems concentrating, hyperactivity, if you don't jump immediately to the diagnosis ADD/ADHD you could easily think those are traits of a wild child with too much energy. Because, let's be honest, these are personality traits and through history there have been many children out there behaving like this, way too much of them to say all of them have been disordered. Why should those not be personality traits? There are also people in this world, who are not very independent and need a social circle to feel save in life, but just because of that, doesn't mean they neccessarily have a dependent personality disorder. Where is the line between being disorderd and not? I can tell you it's an incredibly thin line at times. And what can I say. It's when you've got symptoms for a condition that could easily be personality traits as well, it is hard to seperate simple personality traits with symptons caused by an underlying condition. It is not as easy to make a clear distinction between being healthy or disordered in the ADD/ADHD case as it is with for example Shizophrenia, when a patient hears voices telling them to kill someone. In that case it's way more obvious some kind of mental disorder is going on. There is a general overlap in symptoms across the board of mental disorders as well, for eg, people who are bipolar can also see and hear things that aren't there, just like with Shizophrenia, people with a borderline personality disorder, we have tons of experience with them of behaving like a narcissist, those overlaps make correct diagnoses harder in addition. Okay, the last problem is not a problem with ADHD/ADD but I just wanted to make clear how complicated it is to get to a right diagnose in general. Then take into consideration that everyone of us has some kind of bias and sees the world out of a different lens, which makes diagnosis even trickier. That's why we have a whole check-list of symptoms we have to go through and see if they are present in the patient, cause it makes it more likely someone suffers from a condition if they show more than two symptoms of a certain condition.
Back to the original topic: I think ADD/ADHD is overdiagnosed. I have seen people who have been diagnosed and a lot of the times I find them to not be disordered at all, they are just naturally more scatterbrained (or something else was going on instead). After having met people who are literally unable to organize even the smallest of things and how that sets them off, I have come to see that my scatterbrainedness is a personality trait and not a condition. I am still functioning well in our society, because my scatterbrainedness is annoying at times but not handicapping me, while these people have to fight with their ADHD/ADD literally every day. When you suffer that much because you're not able to function in society due to your symptoms, then I find it hard to argue they don't suffer from a condition. Just my stance on this.

Last but not least, there can be physical conditions and also just something simple like an iron-deficiency causing concentration-problems and people (often children) misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD because of such simple things.
Sorry for derailing this thread a bit. If you want me to put this in a spoiler, please let me know!

Hi pumpkinpot.

I saw this post in the Feedback section... had a great deal of appreciation for it... and subsequently pulled it over here because I wanted to comment further but moreso because I thought it would be a valuable contribution/addition to this thread. As someone that had received a "diagnosis" of ENFP a fair number of years prior to being diagnosed with ADD...well...basically what it did was call into constant question all the same things you touch on in your post above in a way that I doubt would have occurred for me had these events happened in the reverse order. (my introduction to the MBTI came by way of having been randomly selected to participate in a study being done at my school examining personality type and all things student related...like everything from learning styles to grades to drop-out rates and beyond...which I jumped on because all I had to do was be tested and answer a few questions every quarter...and in exchange I was given free access to a variety of things I would have normally had to pay for. IOW personality theory didn't have to be of any interest to me...I didn't even need to understand what being ENFP meant and frankly I didn't really give a crap. But having been part of a big, expensive study which afforded me a positive explanation for what is... let's be real here... a nearly identical list of traits or rather *symptoms*...only filed under the header disorder...as in..."Do you do this stuff a lot? Yah, well, that means you're fucked up and that people are for the most part annoyed by your inconsiderate behavior but are probably too polite to tell you so because they recognize you have a disability." "Oh really? Ever heard of a little thing called Pe?...Mr. healthcare professional with your fancy advanced degrees from the University of the Archaic and Obsolete...")

To this day I am far more likely to hold as true that the traits which are considered common to the ENFP type and therefore more likely to be experienced by us as natural , habitual, integral, extremely difficult to suppress/alter...are directly opposed to the traits that make you the "salt of the corporate office" or "just like The Little Red Hen but better because of the subordination"... <-which obviously means there's something seriously wrong with the person. <-And yes, I realize that belief may be offensive to a lot of people but I'm sorry I have a disability that causes me to do these things.

haha. Anyway, you can see a bit of why I got a lot out of your post...but did want to quickly provide an alternative way of looking at/understanding a couple of things you said as well.

Now I normally don't deal with ADHD/ADD at work because we deal with adults mostly and this condition is in general heavier and more developed in children...

I'm not entirely sure what you are referring to above. If "heavier and more developed" means it is easier to spot in children than in adults...I think by adulthood many people have learned...most often without an awareness of it... how to hide the parts of themselves they have learned via reinforcement are considered socially unacceptable/undesirable...and is why most people will receive various mental health related diagnosis when they are experiencing stressful or painful events in their lives as their symptoms can get away from them...they can become unmanageable and subsequently nearly impossible to keep hidden.

Many children behave exactly as they feel without alteration or filter <-But it is worth mentioning that for how *overdiagnosed* this disorder is thought to be in children...Inattentive ADD goes undiagnosed at an alarmingly high rate...especially with girls and can lead to significant hardship, confusion and pain (both mental and physical) in adulthood.

If "heavier and more developed" is referring to the disorder being more of a problem in children... personal experience has taught me otherwise.

After having met people who are literally unable to organize even the smallest of things and how that sets them off, I have come to see that my scatterbrainedness is a personality trait and not a condition.

I just wanted to say somewhere that I used to think I was merely a little scatterbrained too...until I wasn't. <-And only when I allowed myself to be scatterbrained...when I had taken myself off of "work mode" seriously...I was kinda the "salt of the corporate office" myself there for a while...flawless employee evals...excellence awards...blah, blah, blah. Be careful not to sign off on anything until Life puts you to the test with a tragedy or two. That's' when all else falls away and you are left with only the truth.

Okay, the last problem is not a problem with ADHD/ADD but I just wanted to make clear how complicated it is to get to a right diagnose in general.

I think brain imagining can provide doctors and patients with an accurate diagnosis based on certain measures. Which is why I think healthcare/medical insurance in the United States is fucking evil seeing they won't pay for them... because greed apparently trumps any regard for human life and wellbeing.

 

[Tilt]

A good friend of mine is ENFJ and has a severe case of ADHD. He's a very engaging and interesting person, but my gosh, he seriously can't go a day without upsetting someone he cares about (his own admission) because his follow-through on doing activities is spotty, he's chronically late with clients, and will go on for hours about whatever he's focused on to the point he kind of forgets that you're there. I feel somewhat bad for him because it's rarely out of ill-intent... he just has a difficult time with juggling relationships and all the things that he wants to accomplish in a given day. On the bright side, people learn to accept his quirks and forgive him.

However, he's a very innovative thinker and problem-solver. I love how he's able to juggle multiple complex ideas simultaneously in an overarching system.

For someone whose love language is quality time, it was kind of difficult to be his friend but we have grown to really care about each other.

 

[Altair]

You Can HELP YOURSELF​

For starters I haven't been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD however, I recently took a personality test and it has diagnosed me as such. I don't believe it. However I was rather active when I was a child I couldn't sit still to do my homework due to this fire that was inside of my heart. I do believe that ADD or ADHD can be overcome with the proper diet and lifestyle. I do not mean to diagnose or try to cure anyone but Taiji and meditation is a wonderful way to try and calm your nerves. It can also relieve any tense emotion in the body. These movements may look simple at first but they are insanely intense that they help calm the mind or the "monkey mind" as it is called in the East. This should relive any stress one might have as well. I honestly think that all one must do is to simply exist in the here and now instead of thinking about the past or future. And of course change your diet.

 

[Wunjo]

Don't self diagnose. Go and see a therapist and talk to him or her. Tell your doubts, tell your thoughts about your "ADD".

But just don't self-diagnose.

Remember, while you are trying to study your brain, your brain is also studying you.

 

[Dreamer]

The other day I forgot I had already taken my stimulant medication for the day, and took another dose. Long acting stuff ain’t fun to feel wired on

 

[Beargryllz]

The main advantage of having ADHD is that you can get a script for vyvanse, which is something almost everyone should be on

 

[Frosty]

The main advantage of having ADHD is that you can get a script for vyvanse, which is something almost everyone should be on

Vyvanse made my toes blue. So... everyone but me.

 

[rav3n]

As a child, I was tested for ADHD but didn't have it, only diagnosed with a curious mind, lol. And speaking of interesting things:

Gut microbiome in ADHD and its relation to neural reward anticipation

Gut microbiome in ADHD and its relation to neural reward anticipation

Abstract

Background
Microorganisms in the human intestine (i.e. the gut microbiome) have an increasingly recognized impact on human health, including brain functioning. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder associated with abnormalities in dopamine neurotransmission and deficits in reward processing and its underlying neuro-circuitry including the ventral striatum. The microbiome might contribute to ADHD etiology via the gut-brain axis. In this pilot study, we investigated potential differences in the microbiome between ADHD cases and undiagnosed controls, as well as its relation to neural reward processing.

Methods
We used 16S rRNA marker gene sequencing (16S) to identify bacterial taxa and their predicted gene functions in 19 ADHD and 77 control participants. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), we interrogated the effect of observed microbiome differences in neural reward responses in a subset of 28 participants, independent of diagnosis.

Results
For the first time, we describe gut microbial makeup of adolescents and adults diagnosed with ADHD. We found that the relative abundance of several bacterial taxa differed between cases and controls, albeit marginally significant. A nominal increase in the Bifidobacterium genus was observed in ADHD cases. In a hypothesis-driven approach, we found that the observed increase was linked to significantly enhanced 16S-based predicted bacterial gene functionality encoding cyclohexadienyl dehydratase in cases relative to controls. This enzyme is involved in the synthesis of phenylalanine, a precursor of dopamine. Increased relative abundance of this functionality was significantly associated with decreased ventral striatal fMRI responses during reward anticipation, independent of ADHD diagnosis and age.

Conclusions
Our results show increases in gut microbiome predicted function of dopamine precursor synthesis between ADHD cases and controls. This increase in microbiome function relates to decreased neural responses to reward anticipation. Decreased neural reward anticipation constitutes one of the hallmarks of ADHD.

 

[Earl Grey]

Vyvanse made my toes blue. So... everyone but me.

Everything I have tried so far either does not help my ADHD, or sedates me to the point I emulate death (no really, my BP plummets ridiculously low- 70/40 was my lowest reading and that was after I managed to wake up somewhat) and I effectively become more dysfunctional than without meds.

Never heard of that one though. Maybe there is still some hope for this one.

 

[Lia_kat]

Resurrecting this thread because it's a gem. I literally want to cry reading all of these posts and want to thank everyone who posted. About a year ago I stumbled across an article on ADHD, researched endlessly about it (hyperfocused), joined various groups online, etc and little by little everything started to make sense. A whole lifetime of questions got answered. I was in awe. Unfortunately, getting "officially diagnosed" has been an issue. The first therapist, after making me take multiple tests, told me she didn't think I had ADHD and that we needed to work on my depression/anxiety first. It's infuriating trying to make a medical professional see things as you see them and properly explain everything you feel and experience. And sometimes they are not as knowledgeable about ADHD as you would want them to be, or go by their numbers/statistics too rigidly in order to make a diagnosis. But anyway..

My ADHD got missed during childhood because I wasn't your typical hyperactive kid that couldn't sit still, I was extremely bright - considered "gifted" - and learned quickly, but daydreamed all the time, procrastinated, and was forgetful. Still do. I managed to get by with good grades, but I suffered a lot emotionally, had anger outbursts, felt different from everyone, and did impulsive things that got me in trouble. I went to college but dropped out because I jumped from subject to subject never deciding on anything in particular that I wanted to do, and frankly, just got bored. Someone on here mentioned being "wasted potential", well I think that's me in a nutshell.

I also tend to get obsessive with things (it can be anything - a person, music, a subject) for a few weeks or months, and then grow bored and jump to the next thing. It's hard for me to not jump from task to task without finishing what I set out to begin with. My mind is all over the place. I forget things so easily that I started using a calendar (but then I forget to use the calendar lol ) just to remind myself to do the simplest things - like grocery shopping, or taking a shower. It's extremely difficult to force my brain to do certain tasks I find boring, like laundry and folding clothes. I have left unfolded clothes in my room for MONTHS, not kidding. It's disgusting. Executive dysfunction is a real fucking thing. And most people don't get it and just think you're lazy. Oh how many times I've been called lazy and slow....
Only thing that has kept my interest consistently is art and photography. And even with that, I don't always finish what I set out to do, can't focus, procrastinate, or give up too quickly.

I used to be able to hyper-focus on reading, can't do it anymore. Have to sit there reading one paragraph 5-6 times to really grasp what I'm reading.
If someone interrupts me while I'm focused on something (which annoys the hell out of me), it takes my brain time to "register" what's going on and even then, people have to repeat themselves because it hasn't computed in my brain completely to let out a comprehensible answer.
The way I talk with certain people drives them crazy because my brain jumps from subject to subject to subject and at times I don't finish my original point (getting better at that though)... or forget. And my memory is nonexistent as I mentioned. I barely remember my childhood as it is, it's very fuzzy, and I can do an activity with you today and then a month later have no idea what we did or only remember certain details. It's sad because I feel like I've made great memories with my friends/loved ones, but then don't even remember them.

Sensitive to noise, intense emotions, trouble with time and self-regulating. I forget to eat if I'm too focused on a video game, or making art, for example. I have no concept of time, lol.

I can go and on really - I may come back and re-edit this post if I think of anything else. Right now I have so much to say but can't write it all down. I feel like it's both a gift and a curse to have ADHD. I'm figuring out how to live with it and make my life easier, but I can't help wonder how my life would have turned out if I would have gotten diagnosed earlier. All of this has put a strain on my marriage with my husband (ENFJ), because he tries to understand where I'm coming from but has difficulty, especially with my emotional dysregulation. I wish there was an easier way to get him to understand that my brain is just wired differently.

 

[Lia_kat]

Oh, and I plan to ween off of the medication after a year and transition into natural remedies, like CBD oil and fish oil, assuming I don't have any significant side effects and have to stop before the year mark.

I also take fish oil (and try to stick to a protein/low-carb diet for the most part - it makes a difference). Have you considered Ashwagandha? I've been taking it for a few months now and it has helped with my anxiety and some symptoms.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I also take fish oil (and try to stick to a protein/low-carb diet for the most part - it makes a difference). Have you considered Ashwagandha? I've been taking it for a few months now and it has helped with my anxiety and some symptoms.

No, but I have put a lot of thought into psilocybin, but mostly for other reasons. I'm still on bupropion, but it's a low dose and I feel I'd do well enough without it.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I was diagnosed as a kid but stopped taking anything for it a few years ago. I honestly don't feel like I need anything for at all at the moment, as I usually don't have any trouble paying attention to stuff and remember things better than a lot of other people.

Either the medicine "fixed" it or I was misdiagnosed. There's really no way of knowing.

The fact that I've been interested in mindfulness since high school and continue to practice it may also have something to do with why I don't seem to need meds anymore.

 

[Lia_kat]

Btw I love this.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I'm currently struggling with a significant ADD, although it's not something that has been diagnosed and I don't think it is the standard type. It is affecting my life significantly now because I cannot sit and read a chapter for school. Even a half-hour online lesson is excruciating to me on the inside and I have funny, quiet little coping strategies that enable to me divert attention away and back.

This is an issue I was talking over with family because it is affecting all of my siblings now as well. We all experienced an extreme paradigm shift before Thanksgiving of 2017 when my sister found our father. We were raised to believe he was hunting us down to kill us, so we all had name changes, moved around constantly, lived in poverty and had a really difficult life. I used to go through intense fear every time I went to the DMV for a drivers license because I had to bring my birth certificate with my original name. After researching it, we discovered that my mother was mentally ill with a paranoid disorder and that my father is a good human being who lived a consistent and ethical life - some issues with alcohol, but no violence.

This extreme paradigm shift this late in life caused a rewiring of all the neurons in our brains on a deep psychological level and I have a theory that it was extreme enough to cause a neurological event in which so many neuropathways changed at once, that they have become destabilized. As I said before all of my siblings are struggling with attention issues that affect our ability to do the basic work in our jobs. I now live in the town where my father is in the facility from severe strokes, so he was never able to speak much to us in this life, but he knows we came back to him, but he is dying from vascular dementia which also affects my depression issues.

I don't have a counselor here, but the attention issues are quite severe for me and I have been getting mildly drunk as a coping mechanism because that relaxed, hazy focus of mild inebriation makes it easier to sustain a required task. When I open a chapter or look at an article, it feels like someone is throwing bowls of alphabet soup at me. It's not normal. It's also why I'm taking next semester off of school because I can't approach it that way indefinitely.

 

[Earl Grey]

People usually assume that others are doing things within their power to do things as well as possible, so if you're falling short, then they blame the person instead of understanding the limitations. They probably can't- brains are hardwired differently after all. No, the 'being unable to focus' isn't a choice no matter how much they say it is.

On executive dysfunction, I found an analogy that really fit how I at least (and another friend) experience it. Have you ever seen a dyslexia simulator?

The letters are haphazardly jumping everywhere. It's not a willpower or focus thing. The brain is just literally incapable of processing whatever it needs to process. I have explained to others that ADHD is almost like dyslexia, but with lists- to-do lists, or instruction lists. "What's the next ste- BRAIN, what's the next step?! What's the next- BRAIN, STOP- wait. What were we doing again?" Not even an exaggeration.

I also think this is an accurate visualization for it- at least I do relate to it. And yeah, having to constantly do, manually, what should have come naturally- takes up a lot of attention and mental energy. (LONG)

EDIT:

Dear god I'm reading the posts where people mention coffee and OH BOY I don't know anyone ADD/ADHD irl and I abuse caffeine like a madman and MAN, I thought it was just a me thing. A huge part of my blood is basically coffee now. I can even usually tell how bad the brain cuckoo is and how much is the dosage I should drink.

I don't endorse trashing your heart but if you're (general you here) taking it too, honestly? I understand that train of thought; something is better than nothing. There was a point I had this conscious moment of clarity where I made that choice to replace my blood content with coffee instead of playing the insane ball juggling game with the insatiable circus monkey in my brain that is ADHD.

But get medication people!! Get real medications. And have a good diet. Be as healthy as possible.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

Dear god I'm reading the posts where people mention coffee and OH BOY I don't know anyone ADD/ADHD irl and I abuse caffeine like a madman and MAN, I thought it was just a me thing. A huge part of my blood is basically coffee now. I can even usually tell how bad the brain cuckoo is and how much is the dosage I should drink.

I don't endorse trashing your heart but if you're (general you here) taking it too, honestly? I understand that train of thought; something is better than nothing. There was a point I had this conscious moment of clarity where I made that choice to replace my blood content with coffee instead of playing the insane ball juggling game with the insatiable circus monkey in my brain that is ADHD.

But get medication people!! Get real medications. And have a good diet. Be as healthy as possible.

It's been proven that people with AD(H)D are prone to addiction or 'self medicating' (or there is at least a big correlation with ADHD and addiction). Before I got my ADHD medication I was addicted to Red Bull like a madman too. And coffee when I was over my 'daily dosis of RB' (my 'max' was three, sometimes four. Now add three iced coffees...) Having the inactive type of ADHD, it was the only thing that made me feel 'energized' for at least a few minutes. The impact of ADHD is very underestimated to be honest. Even so called 'professionals' don't know shit. It's as if most people view it as a 'trend', just a simple label. ADHD just means that you've difficulties concentrating, right? It's not that bad, right?
"OH! You take your medication too when you're not working for school?? THEY ARE ONLY FOR SCHOOL AND STUDYING RIGHT?!!" - The times I've had to hear this one. Yes, no. I don't only take my meds for school. You would think that someone with ADHD is allowed to be a functional human being outside of school too, right? Apparently, we are not...

Reactions like this sometimes made me feel like a 'cheater'. As if I don't deserve my medication, as if I am just an addict now. Ah, that beautiful moment of violent killing urges when people say that it's basically just legal speed. That it's just legal drugs. (And 'drugs', in Dutch, medication isn't called 'drugs'. So by that; they mean the 'bad' form of drugs, the one associated with partying, happiness and crime lol. Their face when you tell them that every goddamn medication is basically legalized drugs. Stupid. They suddenly don't have much to say then anymore)

I think the most remarkable one I ever heard was this one from a social worker. Gosh. She once again, confirmed how people don't know shit about ADHD.

*general appointment for mental health*

Me: I have ADD. It influences many parts of my life.

She: "So, the ADD, it's mostly something that influences you at/in school? So it's not that bad?" / "The ADD is only school related I suppose."

THE HECK DID I JUST SAY ??? Yeah indeed, when I come home, my ADD magically disappears. My genes, they change. They pack their suitcases, wave me goodbye and say "It's exhausting being with you. But we'll be there tomorrow again with a brand new display. You've deserved some rest now, enjoy your ADD-free day!"
*rolls my eyes so hard I've to go catch them in the hallway* Hold up!

But yes, statements like that 'hurt' more than they might seem to. It's again another stereotype. ADHD probably caused my depression, the stupid moodswings, it influences my social life, it ruined many parts of my youth/high school because this other psychologist wouldn't listen. I think I've spend half of my life on autopilot I am surprised that I even got through high school -without all too many bad grades-. (I literally couldn't remember shit. If someone asked me what we saw that day in history class; I wouldn't know.) So for someone to just paint it off as 'It only influences you at school,'... yeah, no. We don't do that. (Not that it hurt me that time, I was already expecting such a stupid statement.)

Fun fact: sometimes when I take my meds and drink coffee at the same time... I become incredibly tired. Not really the effect I was looking for lol.

About the image/with the description about how people with ADHD function. My psychologist explained it to me like this: "Neurotypical people generally have a standard 'voice' when they are busy with a task. An internal voice that keeps them focused. That voice is just there, they don't have to do anything. It tells them what they have to do as in; keep writing, read this text,... People with ADHD don't have such internal voice. They have to keep everything up themselves, they continuously have to remind themselves that they are doing a certain task, that they have to pay attention,..."
This indeed, causes exhaustion too. It baffles me tho... How amazing must it be; to not get distracted all the time? To have your own task supporter lmao.

Another thing that I was thinking about... But I can't find the correct, English term. It has something to do with 'automation' of information. Correlated to your working memory.

Par example:

Most people have to fill this in a few times and then they automatically remember that 1 = - , 2 = ... etc. Let me tell you; my brain doesn't do shit. The stress might have played a role too (someone watching me) but gosh... It explained a lot. Didn't necessarily make me feel better tho (rather stupid). But, I now understand why I always was this one kid in class, that never understood anything.

The irony in this is also; as soon as I don't understand something I start 'day dreaming'. I just switch off. But, this goes for 'understimulation' too. Usually, I tend to find general colleges boring. It's so slow, talk faster, give me more information, NOW!! But of course, they don't. The boredom, ugh... So luckily there's this savior again; daydreaming!

This is also why I sometimes watch YT videos at 1.5xspeed. Faster please, nownownow. MOVE.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

Let's share a meme to keep things light.

That ADHD Feel

What People Think ADHD is: fourth grader on a sugar high

What ADHD Actually Is: you decide to make cookies, so you put a stick of butter on the counter to soften. While waiting for the butter, you notice something in the living room that you need to put back in your room. You walk into your room with the item, and notice that your floor is messy, so you decide to clean your room. The house is quiet though, so you open your phone to pull up spotify for some music. When you look at your phone, you see that you have three facebook notifications. You hate unopened notifications, so you open facebook to clear them. As you go to do that, you see a buzzfeed quiz that somebody shared. You click on the link, take that quiz, and then proceed to spend the next hour and a half taking buzzfeed quizzes. You take a quiz titled "what parks and recreation character are you?" and it reminds you that you haven't watched parks and rec in a while. So you pull up netflix, and proceed to watch 6 episodes of parks and rec in a row. As you're about to start the 7th, you realize that you're a little hungry, so you head out into the kitchen, only to find the now melted, ruined stick of butter all over the counter. So you clean up your butter mess from earlier, and decide that you still want to make cookies, so you put a new stick on the counter to soften. As you look for your other ingredients, though, you see some expired food on your shelf, and decide that you need to clean out the fridge...

 

[Earl Grey]

"OH! You take your medication too when you're not working for school?? THEY ARE ONLY FOR SCHOOL AND STUDYING RIGHT?!!" - The times I've had to hear this one. Yes, no. I don't only take my meds for school. You would think that someone with ADHD is allowed to be a functional human being outside of school too, right? Apparently, we are not...

I think the most remarkable one I ever heard was this one from a social worker. Gosh. She once again, confirmed how people don't know shit about ADHD.

*general appointment for mental health*

Me: I have ADD. It influences many parts of my life.

She: "So, the ADD, it's mostly something that influences you at/in school? So it's not that bad?" / "The ADD is only school related I suppose."

THE HECK DID I JUST SAY ??? Yeah indeed, when I come home, my ADD magically disappears. My genes, they change. They pack their suitcases, wave me goodbye and say "It's exhausting being with you. But we'll be there tomorrow again with a brand new display. You've deserved some rest now, enjoy your ADD-free day!"
*rolls my eyes so hard I've to go catch them in the hallway* Hold up!

Wow. I've never heard this one, but it's absolutely bizarre (then again I don't tell anyone offline I have ADHD) but also another strange thing; you're not supposed to skip dosages, you're supposed to take them routinely, even a dumb psychiatrist should know that.
An odd bit about me- I'm very un-addictive. The opposite of. I can cut coffee cold turkey and be just fine. I take it because I still do need it, but if I had to cut cold turkey I could any time.

But yes, statements like that 'hurt' more than they might seem to. It's again another stereotype. ADHD probably caused my depression, the stupid moodswings, it influences my social life, it ruined many parts of my youth/high school because this other psychologist wouldn't listen. I think I've spend half of my life on autopilot I am surprised that I even got through high school -without all too many bad grades-. (I literally couldn't remember shit. If someone asked me what we saw that day in history class; I wouldn't know.) So for someone to just paint it off as 'It only influences you at school,'... yeah, no. We don't do that. (Not that it hurt me that time, I was already expecting such a stupid statement.) [...] Most people have to fill this in a few times and then they automatically remember that 1 = - , 2 = ... etc. Let me tell you; my brain doesn't do shit. The stress might have played a role too (someone watching me) but gosh... It explained a lot. Didn't necessarily make me feel better tho (rather stupid). But, I now understand why I always was this one kid in class, that never understood anything.

I had P.E (sports) at the same day every week, which means I'll have to bring my P.E stuff that day. Guess who keeps forgetting. YOU KNOW, that thing where it happens often enough that messing up is bad, but rarely enough that your brain can't remember it enough to designate it to something that you autopilot? Once I'm getting the hang of it, a new semester starts, and the schedule changes.

Fun fact: sometimes when I take my meds and drink coffee at the same time... I become incredibly tired. Not really the effect I was looking for lol.

I heard that too much coffee can conk you out with ADHD. I think so. I've been practically 'immune' to it even before I started taking it regularly, or so I thought, till I realized that taking a whole lot at once, or just a really strong one, just knocks the lights out of me. It's like getting drugged. I can't even lift my head, it's like I suddenly have the sleepiness of someone who hadn't slept in 3 days.

The irony in this is also; as soon as I don't understand something I start 'day dreaming'. I just switch off. But, this goes for 'understimulation' too. Usually, I tend to find general colleges boring. It's so slow, talk faster, give me more information, NOW!! But of course, they don't. The boredom, ugh... So luckily there's this savior again; daydreaming!

I read somewhere (it's for healthy people though) a study about something called optimum simulation or something? Basically something about attention spans and well, optimum simulation, and it explains why people say, turn down the radio in the car when maneuvering a new area, or why some people need to pace around while studying, etc. I've never read one for ADHD but when I read that I thought, could it be that ADHD gives you a different threshold?

I do know that when I am working on something I WILL get distracted, that is no question, but even before I was diagnosed with ADHD, if I had designated something to be what distracts me from the beginning, then my focus will be boxed into the task and the distracting material. It's like a water spray, either I leave it spraying water everywhere, or I jam a hose on it with multiple pathways to withstand the water pressure and direct it to where I want (OR ELSE IT WILL BURST. AND THEN THE ADHD CIRCUS MONKEY DEMON COMES AND PICKS THE DISTRACTION FOR ME). I doodle in class, I play documentaries or songs with lyrics while cleaning the house, I get on YT/twitter intermittently during homework (yes, it works for me). When told to recount the things I did or heard, I would be able to, more than if I didn't. Sounds counterproductive? But here's the thing, if someone healthy puts on glasses things will look like SHIT to them. Of course it won't work, it wasn't made for you! Do you see people going "Wow these glasses makes my eyesight worse, you should stop wearing them!" ???

This is also why I sometimes watch YT videos at 1.5xspeed. Faster please, nownownow. MOVE.

SAME.