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ADHD

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
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ENFP
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This is a general thread on ADD/ADHD. I'll pose some questions to get started but feel free to share anything you would like on this topic and your personal relationship with it.

Whichever variation you have, what have been your personal challenges with it? How did you manage those challenges? Have you come up with any coping mechanisms or strategies to better work with and manage your symptoms?

If there is at all any silver lining to being "blessed" with this animal, where do you find it to be? How has this altered your experience and perception of it upon making this realization?

Do do you feel it owns you or that you own it? If you find yourself in the category of feeling like you own ADHD and not the other way around, what strategies have you used to get you to that level?

*Oddball MBTI related question thrown in for fun :D:

There is a perception out there held by some, understandably, that ADHD is essentially Ne, or vice versa. That is, if you see someone either with ADHD or Ne high in their stacking and proficiency (I'd imagine the ENPs appear as the ADHD type, and the INPs appear as the ADD types) then the two are interchange.

So, the questions that follows are: Have you mistyped yourself or others, to your knowledge, due to the sometimes similar outward behaviors between the diagnosis and the function? Do you think there is some relationship between the two?
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 8(?). Way back in the early 80’s when it wasn’t yet a trendy label thrown on people en masse to feed the pharmaceutical companies insatiable appetite for other people’s money. I joke that it was not a disorder but a chronic lack of interest in the world. Actually concentrating on anything for more than a few minutes was extremely difficult because my mind was like the press corps at a press conference, asking a million questions at once. My head was always a crowded highway of ideas. Ideas driving along yelling at the kids in the backseat as they hopped on or exited at the numerous ramps. It was almost impossible at times to focus. Back then society knew next to nothing about ADD or any number of other learning disabilities. It was always Population: 1 is a smart child but he doesn’t apply himself. Otherwise it was Pop’s a space shot or a dreamer. ;) I think that was another reason I spent so much time by myself as a kid. It kept my mind a bit calmer and more focused if I had less external input to deal with. Gaggles of other kids were just too much information.

It had some advantages attached to it. Divergent thinking in overdrive means you can explore a thousand thoughts in an hour and maybe find novel solutions to problems people haven’t approached you with yet. I had a love/hate relationship with it really so depending on when you asked I’d be angry that I couldn’t focus or I’d be psyched I’d found an answer to something before the rest of the class because my mind skipped those pesky middle steps in a process. I don’t think it owns me or I own it. We coexist. It’s part of the equipment I use to navigate life. It doesn’t always comply but it functions and it’s allowed me to look at a lot of things in very unusual ways.

I don’t have a particular strategy for trying to tame it. Age helps. Everything slows down eventually. I tried er non prescription solutions for quite a while. Marijuana in particular. I found it slowed down the disorganized information superhighway that is my brain. Now I go for walks in nature. Which is something I have always done but over the years it really has helped to calm my mind to feel the flow of surroundings uncluttered by the overload of human nonsense. Having ADD in a world that is now suffering from it (probably more ADHD really) as a collective through electronic overstimulation makes retreating to our ancestral environment even more necessary.

I’ve probably mistyped everyone. I’m barely an apprentice in the MBTI world.
 

Frosty

Poking the poodle
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Messages
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sp
I was diagnosed young with ADD by a school psychologist. In around first grade. They gave me some accomodations such as- since I was advanced in most subjects- the ability to leave the room during times when I was 'bored' and work in independent work. Mostly that year it was writing this story about aliens. Filled up a whole notebook with a story that I wrote in my spare time that year. Which really, for a first grader, was quite a bit of writing.

I changed schools in second grade. Changed districts. And I guess the ADD thing was just forgotten or my parents didnt insist or something because after that I wasnt given any special accomodations. (Before I had also gotten my pick of seats in class and the ability to take tests separately)

Anyways. From second grade on- nothing.

I was able to handle it mostly until middle school. Then. It was like. Everything was so scattered. Like I was drowning almost. I could DO the work but at the same time I couldnt. Id forget or Id lose it or I just, because I couldnt really pay attention during the day-and would put the work off- I would, when it was a few months into the semestsr- decide to try to get all the work done at once- and would get frustrated because it would just feel like too much.

This went on- this almost total avoidance of work- this total... just... awfulness I felt at school. Until Senior year of highschool.

Senior year of high school I discovered that I COULD do the work... IF I took enough breaks in between it. So I began taking 20-30 minute bathroom breaks in every class. I think my teachers were annoyed by this but... at the same time... Senior year the lowest grade I had in any class was a 98. When the year before it was a 17. So I guess they just figured... they didnt want to complain too much because well. I was doing a lot better doing what I was doing. One of my teachers told me that she found me really interesting because what was hard for me was easy for most everyone else, but what was easy for me was hard for most everyone else.

College. It both is a problem and isnt. When I get VERY interested in something I can generally hyper-focus on it and become jusr... pretty damn good at it if I say so myself. Like- Ill know everyhing about, around, inside, outside- even REMOTELY related to the subject- and if Im REALLY interested I can learn all of this REALLY quickly. But if Im NOT interested... even if I try really hard.... I find it hard to learn about something.

Adderall helps. It makes me less of a spaz definitely. The last 2 times I worked I didnt take adderall and this last time I worked I accidently charged the register 50 dollars instead of 5. Which wouldnt have been too bad except half an hour later I charged the register 20 dollars instead of 2. Had to write little apology notes so it would be voided.I make so many more careless mistakes when Im not taking adderall than when I am. But there are downsides to adderall too. Such as... its hard to eat and makes me anxious. So i dont generally take it unless I need to/have class or something.

But I do find it helpful.

And yes. I type myself as an NP. I am around 99% sure that Ne is one of my top two functions. I think that- it can be really similar to ADD- and I think it might account for the 'can concentrate on subjects of interest' part of mine. But sometimes... I feel like... the ADD really is different. I mean. I can really really really try to focus- (usually stiff that is Se is hardest for me- responding immediately to my physical environment is not something Im great it- explains how I frequently injure myself and how several people in my likfe have given me the nicknames 'Grace' (sarcastically) and 'Spaz'- So memorization is hard for me too. I have a shit memory really- for stuff that doesnt interest me- which is a lot when it comes to subjects requiring a lot of blanket memorization)

So yeah. Thats me and ADHD. I WAS at the start of the year diagnosed as 'combined'- but now in the last couple months its been changed to predominantly inattentive. Which predominantly it is- but I suppose the inability to sit still in classes without moving frequently might be a combined sign. So its really- I guess it could be either. Guess its not a super strict black and white thing.
 

Agent Washington

Softserve Ice Cream
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
2,053
I was diagnosed young with ADD by a school psychologist. In around first grade. They gave me some accomodations such as- since I was advanced in most subjects- the ability to leave the room during times when I was 'bored' and work in independent work. Mostly that year it was writing this story about aliens. Filled up a whole notebook with a story that I wrote in my spare time that year. Which really, for a first grader, was quite a bit of writing.

I changed schools in second grade. Changed districts. And I guess the ADD thing was just forgotten or my parents didnt insist or something because after that I wasnt given any special accomodations. (Before I had also gotten my pick of seats in class and the ability to take tests separately)

Anyways. From second grade on- nothing.

I was able to handle it mostly until middle school. Then. It was like. Everything was so scattered. Like I was drowning almost. I could DO the work but at the same time I couldnt. Id forget or Id lose it or I just, because I couldnt really pay attention during the day-and would put the work off- I would, when it was a few months into the semestsr- decide to try to get all the work done at once- and would get frustrated because it would just feel like too much.

This went on- this almost total avoidance of work- this total... just... awfulness I felt at school. Until Senior year of highschool.

Senior year of high school I discovered that I COULD do the work... IF I took enough breaks in between it. So I began taking 20-30 minute bathroom breaks in every class. I think my teachers were annoyed by this but... at the same time... Senior year the lowest grade I had in any class was a 98. When the year before it was a 17. So I guess they just figured... they didnt want to complain too much because well. I was doing a lot better doing what I was doing. One of my teachers told me that she found me really interesting because what was hard for me was easy for most everyone else, but what was easy for me was hard for most everyone else.

College. It both is a problem and isnt. When I get VERY interested in something I can generally hyper-focus on it and become jusr... pretty damn good at it if I say so myself. Like- Ill know everyhing about, around, inside, outside- even REMOTELY related to the subject- and if Im REALLY interested I can learn all of this REALLY quickly. But if Im NOT interested... even if I try really hard.... I find it hard to learn about something.

Adderall helps. It makes me less of a spaz definitely. The last 2 times I worked I didnt take adderall and this last time I worked I accidently charged the register 50 dollars instead of 5. Which wouldnt have been too bad except half an hour later I charged the register 20 dollars instead of 2. Had to write little apology notes so it would be voided.I make so many more careless mistakes when Im not taking adderall than when I am. But there are downsides to adderall too. Such as... its hard to eat and makes me anxious. So i dont generally take it unless I need to/have class or something.

But I do find it helpful.

And yes. I type myself as an NP. I am around 99% sure that Ne is one of my top two functions. I think that- it can be really similar to ADD- and I think it might account for the 'can concentrate on subjects of interest' part of mine. But sometimes... I feel like... the ADD really is different. I mean. I can really really really try to focus- (usually stiff that is Se is hardest for me- responding immediately to my physical environment is not something Im great it- explains how I frequently injure myself and how several people in my likfe have given me the nicknames 'Grace' (sarcastically) and 'Spaz'- So memorization is hard for me too. I have a shit memory really- for stuff that doesnt interest me- which is a lot when it comes to subjects requiring a lot of blanket memorization)

So yeah. Thats me and ADHD. I WAS at the start of the year diagnosed as 'combined'- but now in the last couple months its been changed to predominantly inattentive. Which predominantly it is- but I suppose the inability to sit still in classes without moving frequently might be a combined sign. So its really- I guess it could be either. Guess its not a super strict black and white thing.

This... sounds like me :unsure:

I type as intp in online tests (but i'm not)
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
Actually, statistically high Se is associated with ADHD more than Ne, however I can totally see how both would be correlated.

I stumbled upon this the other day during my normal research on types and found it really interesting. There are links for each "house" of MBTI and the mental illnesses that correlate to each type: Myers Briggs and Mental Illness Part 3 - The Artisans - Psychology Junkie

My brother is an ESTP and is the poster child for ADHD. He was absolutely fucking crazy as a child and put on Ritalin rather young. Unfortunately, he seems to also have some issues with lack of empathy (possibly narcissistic but we haven't really spoken at all throughout our adult lives) and physical aggression. He has a long rap sheet of legal offenses and is a convicted felon.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD very young, and I vaguely remember being really sleepy on the meds so I just stopped taking them. I have a box of projects and assignments I did in school going back to first grade, and on some of my earliest reports, teachers made statements such as "<Peter> has a hard time completing projects she starts." I have a horrible memory, unless it comes to facts I find interesting or things people said that stick out in my mind, in which case I can remember things verbatim for years and years. I struggle to remember anything from my childhood, and all of my visual memories are really quite vague and fuzzy (no Si???), even to this day. I have a hard time getting routine tasks done, like checking my mail, doing dishes/laundry right away, paying bills or managing my appointments, etc. I always somehow manage to get things done without lists as I am constantly making mental lists and reminding myself of what needs to be done, but deadlines are completely... uh... I can't even think of the word right now, which is another big problem for me. But yes, deadlines... I don't take them very seriously and I know which ones I can get away with not meeting. Like I have a perfect credit score (780 or so), but when it comes to bills that have zero consequences when paid late, I will often be a few days or even a couple weeks behind (because I don't make lists). Then I'll think to myself "oh shit! you fucking forgot to pay that bill! what is wrong with you, you really need to get your shit together." So, even though I don't take it too seriously at the time (I even often consciously say "fuck it, it can wait" to things), I still end up feeling inadequate and mad at myself in the end.

Another thing is that although I am not physically all over the place, I am almost always fidgeting somehow. It's usually my legs, and I find that sitting in a rocking chair helps me. Now that I think of it, this has probably gotten a bit better over the years, but in comparison to others, I fidget and readjust my position quite often. In terms of impulsivity, it's much less physical and more emotional for me. Like, I won't do risky things or make rash decisions on impulse, but I have a hard time managing my stronger emotions, particularly irritation, anger, or that judgemental side of me. This has caused me a lot of issues or at least shame over the years. Probably both. It's not that I explode (although I have done that in the past), but it's that the smallest shit will irritate me and I just can't keep it in. I hate distractions when I am trying to focus on something and I can get snappy with people when they break my concentration. I also sometimes voice my opinion too openly without thought of consequences or get pissy when people don't see that they are being inconsiderate or blind to certain things. It's usually just in the form of being a bit huffy or detached in an annoyed manner.

Sometimes this is a good thing though as I have a very long history of being the lone person to stand up in certain scenarios where others are too fearful to do so. I cannot tell you how many times I have offered to people I work with "if you don't wanna say something, I will do it for you or go with you to back you up." This happens a lot in my field of work where customers or bosses just don't get the risks and liability involved in certain situations and don't consider the well-being of associates.

I digress. (Another thing I do often.)

I also do that thing where I make eye contact with people and nod along to what they're saying and then realize 5 minutes later that I haven't absorbed a word of what they said. Same with reading. I have to reread pages like 3-4 times. Usually I take that as a sign that I should just switch tasks and find something else to do. I also space out a lot, which may or may not be related (Do you do that too?). I had an ex who used to ask me if I was "looking into the future" because I did it so often.

In terms of intelligence or performance though, I have always thought of myself as someone who is highly capable and can do anything I put my mind to. It's a bit of a sore spot because I feel like the poster child for wasted potential. I went back to college after I had kids and took some classes while working too. I think I have something like 24 credits and my GPA is 4.0. I stopped going because I didn't have the support and encouragement needed because my marriage was unhealthy. Speaking of that, my ex-husband is also diagnosed ADHD and is scattered as fuck and loses shit all the time and can't do anything he's supposed to (short rant, haha). He is an ESFJ with a high need for attention (he's an unhealthy e3), but he is more along the lines of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

We have 2 kids together and both have had some behavioral issues. My daughter has mostly grown out of them but still occasionally has some difficulty managing her emotions. I used to think she maybe had ADHD, but now I see she is more on the anxiety/shame line. My best guess for her type thus far is EXFJ. My son has had A LOT of issues with his behavior and focus. He started kindergarten this year and I have already had 3 calls from the principal, 1 from his art teacher, and multiple notes from his regular teacher. They have done some things to help him in class, but I can tell by the frequency of contact and the repeated recommendations of speaking with his pediatrician that they want me to put him on meds, even though they won't say that. I do indeed think he has ADHD, but I refuse to put my 6-year-old on medication, so I will exhaust all options first and may even have to have a meeting with the principal in which I school him on the effects of medication on developing brains. My son is an obvious NTP (and I fucking love everything about his silliness and creativity). I wouldn't want my kids to lose their emotional nature or creativity respectively because I think those will be their greatest strengths as they age, as long as they have the support and resources they need.

I have been trying to get medication for my ADHD for almost a year now and have been turned down twice. The first time was because I lost too much weight during a depressive episode and my doctor was concerned that the medication would weaken my appetite causing me to lose more weight. I worked very hard to put all the weight back on and am now up to my highest non-pregnancy weight, but now they won't treat me because I have erratic blood pressure levels that like to run up to 140/90 or so. It's been frustrating to say the least because it's not easy to recognize that medication could help you only to be turned away when you ask for help.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
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These are all such fantastic posts and go into quite a bit of depth with how you each personally view and understand your ADHD, thanks guys!

Will post my own experiences here once I get the chance :) ...if I can remember (an ADHD joke for y’all, but no, seriously, if I don’t come back by tonight, someone please remind me :()
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
These are all such fantastic posts and go into quite a bit of depth with how you each personally view and understand your ADHD, thanks guys!

Will post my own experiences here once I get the chance :) ...if I can remember (an ADHD joke for y’all, but no, seriously, if I don’t come back by tonight, someone please remind me :()

*ahem...*
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
These are all such fantastic posts and go into quite a bit of depth with how you each personally view and understand your ADHD, thanks guys!

Will post my own experiences here once I get the chance :) ...if I can remember (an ADHD joke for y’all, but no, seriously, if I don’t come back by tonight, someone please remind me :()

excuse me good sir do you mind sharing your life with us?
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
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sp/so
ADHD... diagnosed young, but I was a bright kid so my parents decided not to medicate me because my grades were still good

I went on medication as an adult because I've never been able to concentrate on anything and I needed to for my job (they didn't like the fact that I would get distracted and run off in the middle of conversations and such for some odd reason) and I'm glad that I did. I can't say that the medication makes me great at focusing on things, but it does take me to almost the level where the average person is, so up to almost average is good enough for me I guess. I actually have gotten really good at organizing things just because I know that if I keep things organized and structured there's less of a chance that my running off will be too detrimental. I also carry an ink pen in my hair to write notes down on my hands and arms so that I don't forget what I'm supposed to be doing. :sorry:

The extra energy I have has always been immensely useful with getting things done... if I can focus enough to direct it in a productive direction. I have a higher energy level than just about anyone I know and it makes me good at what I do. I'm also pretty good at switching gears quickly... though that's frequently a BAD thing.
 

á´…eparted

passages
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Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
I was suspected to have ADHD as a child (8-9), and was diagnosed when I was 11. However it was due to being prescribed citalopram for something else and it made me kind of nuts; doctors didn't notice because this was in 2001 and that connection was still new. When I was young I was high energy, curious, generally flippant to authority, sharp mood swings, stubborn, loud and sometimes socially inappropriate and didn't understand why. All and all I had good intentions and was "normal" the majority of the time, so it was often forgiven.

As an adult I don't have anything close to ADD or ADHD. My memory was and is a steel trap, and poor memory is one of the requirements. Diagnoses of it is tricky.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
These are all such fantastic posts and go into quite a bit of depth with how you each personally view and understand your ADHD, thanks guys!

Will post my own experiences here once I get the chance :) ...if I can remember (an ADHD joke for y’all, but no, seriously, if I don’t come back by tonight, someone please remind me :()


The irony of the OP of a thread on attention deficit disorder being inattentive is priceless.
 

LucieCat

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2017
Messages
665
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ENFP
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6w7
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sp/so
My parents wondered if I had ADD or ADHD throughout most of my childhood. But it wasn’t diagnosed because I did well in school (for the most part). I may have been labeled a problem child because I read during class and started speaking out of turn. But my grades were good, so no one ever bothered to test me.

I was actually diagnosed with ADD when I was about 13 or 14. Apparently now they would give the diagnosis of ADHD, primarily inattentive type to someone showing the same qualities as I had. I actually still take medication for it, I wonder what would happen if I talked to my doctor about safely going off on it (rule of thumb, never just stop taking meds it can be REALLY dangerous). But I have decent health insurance so I figure it’s best just to stay on it since I can afford it.
I assume I would still qualify as a person with ADHD as an adult. I have no reason to believe that I grew out of it, especially since I was diagnosed considerably later than most kids are.

I am an ENFP and I have always had strong levels of Ne. I can see how Ne can be seen as ADD or ADHD. There are similarities between the two.

I do think they are separate and distinct things. An actual diagnosis of ADD or ADHD should signify that these behavior negatively impact a person’s ability to function as they did with me. If they don’t negatively impact that, then there might be an over diagnosis (which I believe probably has happened).
I do think there are people with ADD and ADHD who don’t have Ne as one of their top two functions. Maybe they don’t have it in their stack at all.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
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Thanks for the reminders guys, you all are AWESOME! I'm not even tryin to be funny here, which is sad. I legit, would've forgotten about this thread had I not received post quotes and even reps! about returning to post.

Knowing myself at least well enough to know I'd need those reminders (a little snippet of my post to come) has much to do with me feeling like I own my ADHD, at least most of the time. You all can expect something from me tonight once I get off from work :D
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
Thanks for the reminders guys, you all are AWESOME! I'm not even tryin to be funny here, which is sad. I legit, would've forgotten about this thread had I not received post quotes and even reps! about returning to post.

Knowing myself at least well enough to know I'd need those reminders (a little snippet of my post to come) has much to do with me feeling like I own my ADHD, at least most of the time. You all can expect something from me tonight once I get off from work :D

can we really?
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
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Alrighty, so I've shared with some people here and there, shared some snippets into my early childhood on the forum and some of the insecurities I grew up with. Some of those revolved around feeling different, ok, most of those insecurities revolved around those feelings, but they were never the good sorts of thoughts, always negative, and always something to feel ashamed of. To make matters worse, I not only felt different and out of place, I had the worst insecurities over feeling stupid and unintelligent. I never seemed to pick up the material in school as quick as the other students, and could really, never do much of anything as good as the other students. I managed to get into some of the honors classes and AP classes in high school, and tended to hang around the goodie two-shoes sorts of students that got good grades, were involved in everything, and played in sports. I played varsity tennis myself and did have a lot of friends, but beneath all that, resided a lot of pain, and feeling that the life I led was somehow a lie. Sure I was in these honors classes and no one even poked fun of my perceived stupidity and slow mind, but those insecurities that had accumulated all through elementary school, middle school, high school, they just kept compounding and getting heavier and heavier. As you can all imagine, this over time, left me feeling rather depressed and feeling like the dreams I often held as a child, were only dreams I could ever enjoy in my imagination because, why on Earth?! Would these sorts of dreams ever come true for me. The crazy thing about insecurities, is that no matter what your life may be screaming at you, what your life may be shaking you vigorously to wake up and see with your eyes what's around you, those insecurities may leave you blind to all of it. And mine did just that. I went onto a private university, perfect for me really, since I was situated in small class sizes and the individual attention and care I needed to help me achieve the grades I needed. I was invited to join not only an honors program in the humanities, but invited to join an honors collegiate society. I also came up with some architectural designs that won great praise time and time again from my peers and professors. My projects were seen as highly intelligent in their design and execution, and carried a thoughtfulness that simply was not present in some of the other student's work. I can admit, I was often embarrassed by such remarks, because even still, my insecurities loomed over me. I just couldn't fathom how I could achieve anything better than mediocre, and that maybe, just MAYBE, I had a modicum of intelligence in me.


Fast forward four years later, and by the luck of the draw, I discovered I had ADHD-combined. I went in for a routine physical, and because I answered one question a particular way, my doctor suggested I check out a psychiatrist he knew that specialized in child and adult ADHD. I thought to myself, what?! it can't be! I have two cousins that I know that has it, and they are constantly bouncing off the walls. But that's where the assumptions ended. Once I got my official diagnosis and started taking medication for that, and the Dysthymia I apparently had as well, I did all the research I could into both, and things were starting to really make sense for me. One may think that this would instantly give me a huge relief, an answer to all those years of struggling and self doubt. Well, it did give me answers, but it also momentarily threw me into a deeper pit. BECAUSE of those insecurities, I took what could've been a positive realization, which I could then grasp and find ways to work with, to instead see it as sealing my fate that I will never become anything more than mediocre, and all my fears as a child had come true, and there was no more denying that I was defective.


Thankfully though, the grad school I attended, had excellent therapists and nurse practitioners on staff that worked with me, and even set up a time management coach for me to see every week to help me plan out my routines and schedules. I was never one for to-do lists, calendars, and organization, but once I started seeing the benefits those tools had for me, in helping me to maintain some control over something I felt I would never have the least bit of control over, I was hooked. I still find it hard to maintain these tools on the day-to-day, but if I ever fall off the wagon, I know which tools will help get me right back on the horse. Something else happened in all of this, I started to see some of the benefits to having ADHD. Sounds crazy ya? Well one thing is true, when I am on my A game, I often come to conclusions and solve problems far quicker than any of my peers. When I'm "on", I also feel like I just gained 40 IQ points even though I'm still just utilizing the same brain. The drawback though, is that my mind only knows how to sprint, and how to stop. There is no in between. I'm sure everyone out there with ADHD understands this sort of dynamic, but I didn't just leave it at that. I decided well, shoot, since I know I can't control when these surges come and go, I'm going to do the best I can to ride out these surges when they come, and get all the work done that I need to, before it leaves and my mind shuts off again. My whole strategy in grad school was essentially based off this basic premise, that I cannot control my brain, but what I CAN do, is to ride out the waves as best I can. Let those around me know that I have ADHD and that if I slip up, not to take offense, but to understand that I AM trying my best. But finally, and most importantly, I took a sort of oath to myself, to do my best not to beat myself up over my struggles and failures, to not call myself stupid and inept. I am NOT going to let ADHD be the death of me, and I am sure as hell not going to let anyone else tell me what I can and cannot achieve. If I fall, I shall fall gracefully because I will at least have given it my all, rather than giving up and throwing in the towel prematurely.


There are times I wish I were diagnosed early as a child, and part of me at times may feel a sort of jealousy of those that were diagnosed young, but...I really can't be jealous either, because the struggles I went through, all that self doubt and self hatred growing up, miraculously has allowed me to becomes quite a strong and determined individual. People may call me idealistic, but I would say I beg to differ, because I have very much seen reality, and my perception of a reality that could've been, but I chose NOT to remain there, and to do something about it. I do believe things happen in life for a reason, and though you may not always be able to pinpoint what these connectors pieces and events in life may mean initially, they are somehow tied to the greater whole that you shall discover the meaning to down the road.
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
I keep trying to tell my doctor that my depression is caused in part by my ADHD, and that treating the ADHD is the preferable route as it's the least invasive in terms of possible side effects. It's been a real fucking struggle as she refuses to go that route. First, it was my depression-caused weight loss, and now it's high blood pressure. I know for a fact that there are ADHD meds that don't raise blood pressure, and I also know that exercise would lower my blood pressure, as would reducing stress or depressive feelings, but it's hard to start these things in my current state.

It's extremely frustrating, to the point where I am highly considering switching doctors completely. I got emotional in an appointment once and started to cry (I had literally just broken up with my boyfriend and it was triggered by her asking me how I was doing, I guess I just was holding too much in). She took one look at me and decided I was in a crisis - her exact words, which was frustrating and made me only feel worse for not having better control over my emotions.

I payed hundreds of dollars to get rediagnosed as an adult, and it's been almost a year, and she won't write a prescription. I was also on a year-long waitlist for psychiatric services, and they sent me a letter in the mail that basically said "fill this out and let us know if you still need help," and it had to be postmarked by a certain date, which landed on a Sunday. So, OF COURSE I mailed it out the day after, BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING ADHD, and I haven't heard back from them at all, so I'm guessing they booted me off the list.

It's fucking infuriating and not fair. The mental healthcare system in this country is fucked. And who does it help to not treat me? More importantly, who does it hurt? My kids suffer the most because I struggle to control my emotional impulses and they never know which mommy they're going to get, which only further serves to make me feel like shit for not being able to keep things on lock down better.

It's a vicious cycle.

Thanks for starting this thread and sorry I digressed a bit, but it's relevant in my case.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Has anyone been diagnosed with chronic fatigue/fibro resulting from having lived too long with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD? I'm still learning all about this but apparently these are linked. I was actually diagnosed with cfs/fibro first and then later Inattentive ADD.

To the best of my current understanding...people with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD unknowingly use anxiety and/or a state of hyper alertness in order to get by like "regular folk" do... like I actually notice this when I'm driving in traffic this hyper alert state...and then eventually the body says "fuck you".

Anyone?
 

Peter Deadpan

phallus impudicus
Joined
Dec 14, 2016
Messages
8,883
Has anyone been diagnosed with chronic fatigue/fibro resulting from having lived too long with undiagnosed ADD/ADhD? I'm still learning all about this but apparently these are linked. I was actually diagnosed with cfs/fibro first and then later Inattentive ADD.

To the best of my current understanding...people with diagnosed ADD/ADhD unknowingly use anxiety and/or a state of hyper alertness in order to get by like "regular folk" do... like I actually notice this when I'm driving in traffic this hyper alert state...and then eventually the body says "fuck you".

Anyone?

I don't know because I've been in the "fuck you" stage for a few years now and only recently realized it.
 
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