We both have a tendency to ignore our emotions about things, she's also 6 years my junior. Early on we would ignore things and they would blow up in our faces. We have had to learn to communicate with one another. She comes from a liberal family and is very culturally liberal, and I have had to work strongly on not being judgmental or dismissive of some of her interests. She however can also be very judgmental about things I like. The election season going the way it has hasn't helped, but God put me here to love her until there is no breath left in my lungs.
I can relate to that. I started dating an INFJ guy earlier this yea, and things evolved very quickly for us. He's libertarian by way of a family who are devout Catholics and Tea Party members. Politics are pretty much the only thing we've really fought about. Things like that matter and they don't. Values-wise we're both very closely aligned, but how we feel those things ought to translate policy-wise don't always mesh up. I don't know what it will mean for us, but it hasn't made me feel any differently about wanting to have a future with him. There's been some compromises on both ends, but it's happened in a way that feels healthy and exciting rather than "giving something up".
The growing has come in fits and starts, but we have to attack our problems head on. Me being older, and having seen more, I've been much more certain of my feelings for her sooner than she has for me. I said I love you first, I wanted her to move in with me relatively quickly etc. etc. I have had to learn to give her the time and space she needs to figure out her own desires for our relationship. To make sure I'm not being manipulative.
Working on our relationship has been one of the toughest and easily the most rewarding things I've ever done. But that work is never finished, and we will always be working to become our best selves.
An ENFP girlfriend of mine whom I've known since I was like 8 is really savvy with relationship stuff, and I learned a lot watching her navigate her relationship with her INTP SO (now fiance). One of the things she does that I've tried with the INFJ to pretty good effect has been setting side time to have conversations about the relationship itself. Not specific issues within it, but more meta questions like:
"What makes you happiest about our relationship?"
"What makes you least happy?"
"What is one thing you could change about what we're doing if you could?"
"What's something new we could experience together?"
Like your girlfriend, he's relatively less experienced than I am relationship-wise, and I have felt a certain responsibility about setting the tone and supporting him in being comfortable expressing what he needs (which, oddly as challenging for FJs apparently as it is for us, it would seem, but for different reasons).
I know you know that for ENTJs, the push-pulls there because getting lost in it is frightening, especially when the feelings hit too hard. For women, it's doubly so, because there's this fear that long-term commitment can equate to lost autonomy. It can be super overwhelming. The two most important things you can offer an ENTJ woman are the feeling that she is safe and the reassurance that she's not alone either in the relationship OR in whatever aspirations she might have for herself. It's a lot easier when you can remember to look at the other person as a genuine partner as opposed to someone to be managed.
