Too Skinny?

[Ene]

I pow wowed with two other slender women recently about "thin shaming", and of course we all felt it was due to distortion of what normal is (ie. in the US, normal is fat) and plain ol' jealousy. One friend noted that someone stopped asking her why she was so skinny when she shot back with, "Why are you so fat?".

I am not even as thin as I once a was (was about 117 lbs at 5'7 for years, now more like 125 lbs), but I still get occasional comments. The remarks used to be really frequent and far more insulting though, but I let it roll off. I looked at them, with their excess fat, poor flexibility, and limited clothing options and saw right through their "concern".

Yes! Their concern seems like veiled slurs.

 

[chickpea]

I used to get that shit all the time. people asking me if i had an eating disorder, telling me "eat a cheeseburger," "skinny bitch" etc. I've never in my life felt compelled to tell someone what's wrong with their body, so it was strange to me how comfortable people felt doing it.

I gained like 20 pounds and never hear it anymore though. I don't feel any healthier than I did when I was thinner though

don't tell me to eat a cheeseburger unless you're offering to buy me one.

 

[Ene]

I used to get that shit all the time. people asking me if i had an eating disorder, telling me "eat a cheeseburger," "skinny bitch" etc. I've never in my life felt compelled to tell someone what's wrong with their body, so it was strange to me how comfortable people felt doing it.

I gained like 20 pounds and never hear it anymore though. I don't feel any healthier than I did when I was thinner though

don't tell me to eat a cheeseburger unless you're offering to buy me one.

The bolded part is what I think too. Why are people compelled to nit pick others. Perhaps,
[MENTION=360]prplchknz[/MENTION] this goes along with what you said, too, it is that it makes them feel better about themselves to point out what they perceive to be flaws in others.
Strangely enough, one of the people who keeps asking me if I'm sick or have an eating disorder is an Se dominant guy.

 

[magpie]

I don't feel any healthier than I did when I was thinner though

I'm glad you mentioned this. I think it's really strange people assume they can tell someone's health based off their weight. I'm unhealthy no matter how much I weigh, and no amount of weight loss or weight gain will make me better.

 

[Galena]

Anyway, I don't want to dismiss their concerns but I really don't like how everybody keeps trying to fatten me up. There's nothing wrong with me, is there? I just wanted to vent, so I thought I'd vent on here amongst strangers. haha.

But I would and do dismiss their concerns.

Part of doing that much work on your body is knowing intimately what healthy and unhealthy feel like. That feeling is the thing to listen to.

 

[EcK]

Recently I upped my training--a lot, which is one of the reasons I've been so scarce on here. It's hard to be online while you're kicking a bag or practicing with a steel whip in your spare time.

As a result, I dropped from about 21% body fat to about 18%.

And nearly everyday somebody now comments that I am too "skinny."

Yet, I look in the mirror and think my body looks amazing. I love what I see. I'm happy with it. I love seeing the toned muscles in my arms and I love seeing the definition in my abs and hips. I love how I look in my clothes [especially jeans] and I totally rock a bikini. I just want to keep this body for as long as I possibly can. Yet, when I go out, someone inevitably says, "You're too skinny."

Do they not see what I see?

Anyway, I normally don't talk about my height, weight and measurements but for the sake of this discussion I will. I am 5'2" and weigh around 110-112 lbs. I have an hour glass figure with measurements being 35-24-35. According the health/weight charts, I'm ideal. I have a perfect hip-waist ratio, a fantastic BMI and an athletic body fat percentage; I literally have the measurements of a movie star now. So, what gives?

Why do people constantly talk about having a "fit" body and then when I get one, those same people tell me that I look "thin" "sick" and "frail." I'm none of those things. I'm strong, agile and fast. Some people even want to know what I'm trying to prove by being so serious about the martial arts. I tell them that I love what I do and I'm not trying to prove anything. I run a martial arts school. Shouldn't I look the part? It seems like people should be glad for someone when that person achieves a fitness goal, but often, they're not. Maybe strangers are but the people you know often seem upset that you attain a goal and then they say that they're worried about you.

Anyway, I don't want to dismiss their concerns but I really don't like how everybody keeps trying to fatten me up. There's nothing wrong with me, is there? I just wanted to vent, so I thought I'd vent on here amongst strangers. haha.

Sounds cliche but it's difficult to assess that without some pics (like, the ones were you look 'normal' not the most perfect pic you've found with a shittone of make up on.

Otherwise on paper sounds fine.

Also recall me not to pick a fight with you.
I'm a pacifist.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Are there any demographic trends to who is giving you those comments? Sex, age, race, etc..?

 

[INTP]

Do they not see what I see?

No, no one sees what someone else sees.

Imo skinny refers to no muscles either. Maybe those people dont see your muscles through your clothes(which is a good thing if you are a woman). Next time someone says that, show them your abs and ask them if skinny people have this kind of muscles

 

[21%]

As far as I know, 18% body fat is in the "athletic" category, which sounds perfectly fine. I think people are just not used to seeing people with 18% body fat and they are only comparing it to the "norm".

 

[Ene]

[MENTION=5643]EcK[/MENTION]...about the pic, we'll see.

[MENTION=1449]Magic Poriferan[/MENTION] I'd say the demographics are ages 30-60; a couple of males and the rest females. The race of those commenting is mostly White.

[MENTION=7595]INTP[/MENTION]

Maybe those people dont see your muscles through your clothes(which is a good thing if you are a woman). Next time someone says that, show them your abs and ask them if skinny people have this kind of muscles

Right. They don't. Plus, I dress conservatively on a daily basis, slacks, sweaters, jeans, etc. I don't run around in a sports bra and spandex. Haha. So, all they see is a tiny person and they point it out to me. I like your idea! LOL.

[MENTION=6971]21%[/MENTION] You are likely right. I guess some pople who aren't into fitness just lump people into categories of big/little...

 

[EcK]

[MENTION=5643]EcK[/MENTION]...about the pic, we'll see.

Oh, i dont really mind/care. Just expressing my opinion and how I can complete it. but plenty of other posters.
kudos on being a badass ninja lady

 

[PeaceBaby]

When someone says you're too skinny, simply say "thank you" along with a smile! Perfect throw-off of a comment, because it's unexpected. No offended feelings anywhere.

Or you could explore it. "Why do you feel I am too thin?" Ask it with the same tone as talking about the weather. It forces people to cease with throwaway comments they may not be able to fully expand. And if they do, you'll get a better sense of the origin point of the comment, allowing you to either alleviate concern or take their feedback with some newfound credibility attached.

Some people will say you are too thin because you have no reserve body-fat in the event you took ill (and hopefully that's not going to happen). A friend of mine who's an ICU nurse says thin people are at a disadvantage if in a long-term care situation. I think culturally too we are still subconsciously positioned to see a little extra weight as insurance against hard times or illness. I consciously keep an extra 10lb on myself (although right now it's more like 20lb lol) as I've had illnesses in the past that melted that weight off very quickly.

fwiw though, you sound like a healthy body-weight to me at your height.

 

[Codex]

When someone says you're too skinny, simply say "thank you" along with a smile! Perfect throw-off of a comment, because it's unexpected. No offended feelings anywhere..

Hahaha I love the "that's right bitch" attitude.

Raise your eyebrow smugly when you say it too!

 

[chubber]

How can you be an hour glass figure and skinny?

Pictures or it's not real.

 

[/DG/]

How can you be an hour glass figure and skinny?

Pictures or it's not real.

Ene is a sex goddess.

 

[JocktheMotie]

It's fine, don't listen to the haters.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

How can you be an hour glass figure and skinny?

Pictures or it's not real.

Skeleton.

Also, people actually distribute fat differently, and it is amazing how thin or fat two people with the same BMI can appear based on that.

 

[Ene]

How can you be an hour glass figure and skinny?

Pictures or it's not real.

If a person's bust and hips are approximately (within an inch or so) the same size and both are at least 9 or 10 inches larger than the waist, the person's body shape is a hourglass, regardless of how large or small those measurements are. So, a person can be a 300 pound hourglass or a 100 pound one or anything in between.

 

[Ene]

Skeleton.

Also, people actually distribute fat differently, and it is amazing how thin or fat two people with the same BMI can appear based on that.

This is very true.

 

[Ene]

]When someone says you're too skinny, simply say "thank you" along with a smile! Perfect throw-off of a comment, because it's unexpected. No offended feelings anywhere.

Or you could explore it. "Why do you feel I am too thin?" Ask it with the same tone as talking about the weather. It forces people to cease with throwaway comments they may not be able to fully expand. And if they do, you'll get a better sense of the origin point of the comment, allowing you to either alleviate concern or take their feedback with some newfound credibility attached.
[/B]
Some people will say you are too thin because you have no reserve body-fat in the event you took ill (and hopefully that's not going to happen). A friend of mine who's an ICU nurse says thin people are at a disadvantage if in a long-term care situation. I think culturally too we are still subconsciously positioned to see a little extra weight as insurance against hard times or illness. I consciously keep an extra 10lb on myself (although right now it's more like 20lb lol) as I've had illnesses in the past that melted that weight off very quickly.

fwiw though, you sound like a healthy body-weight to me at your height.

Thanks...love your new avatar, BTW.
The bolded points are really good. I've had people tell me that about carrying extra pounds, but most of them have far more than ten or twenty extra!