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Diets and binges

hjgbujhghg

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I think I can develop one hell of a problem and afraid I won't be able to deal with this...The thing is a have the whole history of "unhealthy relationship" to food behind me and the whole history might be just waiting for me. Well...I was used to eat one meal a day, like vegetables and soya meet, sometimes not even that and lost really a lot of weight. But then... people started to bitch about how I look, my mom was crazy about it, my friends were crazy about it...etc... My mom started to control my eating so freaking much, I just had to start eating normally. At first I tried to keep my weight range low, but then it all got totally fucked up and I just thought...okay they want me to eat normally so I will, I don't have to control myself that much anymore...so I started to eat everything...totally everything. I lost control over my eating...I just started to bing eating too much and that sucks ...Is there anyone with any experience with really strict dieting and then getting back to normal eating? Is it possible without binges? I fear, that if I am going to continue this I won't be able to get throught the door by the end of this year.
 

five sounds

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I think I can develop one hell of a problem and afraid I won't be able to deal with this...The thing is a have the whole history of "unhealthy relationship" to food behind me and the whole history might be just waiting for me. Well...I was used to eat one meal a day, like vegetables and soya meet, sometimes not even that and lost really a lot of weight. But then... people started to bitch about how I look, my mom was crazy about it, my friends were crazy about it...etc... My mom started to control my eating so freaking much, I just had to start eating normally. At first I tried to keep my weight range low, but then it all got totally fucked up and I just thought...okay they want me to eat normally so I will, I don't have to control myself that much anymore...so I started to eat everything...totally everything. I lost control over my eating...I just started to bing eating too much and that sucks ...Is there anyone with any experience with really strict dieting and then getting back to normal eating? Is it possible without binges? I fear, that if I am going to continue this I won't be able to get throught the door by the end of this year.

Yes. This sounds a lot like my experience. I wound up going to therapy for it, once I realized that I was no longer able to eat normally (after about a year and a half of trying to "just eat normally" on my own). I realized that the issues contributing to my problems with food actually had very little to do with eating at all. I'm still working on it, and definitely don't have a completely healthy relationship with food, but I'm a lot better now.

It's lead me to a really awesome place in my journey of self-love, and taking control (and loosening up control in other ways) of my life. I still feel like it's a pretty recent embarkment, but I've never felt so empowered and self-aware.
 

hjgbujhghg

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Yes. This sounds a lot like my experience. I wound up going to therapy for it, once I realized that I was no longer able to eat normally (after about a year and a half of trying to "just eat normally" on my own). I realized that the issues contributing to my problems with food actually had very little to do with eating at all. I'm still working on it, and definitely don't have a completely healthy relationship with food, but I'm a lot better now.

It's lead me to a really awesome place in my journey of self-love, and taking control (and loosening up control in other ways) of my life. I still feel like it's a pretty recent embarkment, but I've never felt so empowered and self-aware.

Oh, an experience like this sucks... Did you start to binge as well? Or did you get into dieting again? I would like to go back to dieting, but I can't ... I used to go to therapy during the summer, but I stopped after few sessions. I don't really know why, I went to therapy a few times before, but everytime I stopped like after 3 sessions. Last time I stopped the therapist told me, that I don't want to open up and if I am not going to be open about my problems he can't help me. He told me to call him...I never did. And I never got back to therapy again.
 

five sounds

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Oh, an experience like this sucks... Did you start to binge as well? Or did you get into dieting again? I would like to go back to dieting, but I can't ... I used to go to therapy during the summer, but I stopped after few sessions. I don't really know why, I went to therapy a few times before, but everytime I stopped like after 3 sessions. Last time I stopped the therapist told me, that I don't want to open up and if I am not going to be open about my problems he can't help me. He told me to call him...I never did. And I never got back to therapy again.

Yeah I basically went from a period of extreme dieting to a period of bingeing/restricting in kind of a cyclical way. Some times more bingeing than dieting, sometimes it was both in shorter periods of time, and sometimes I'd restrict for longer periods.

Yeah, being open in therapy is definitely crucial. There's no way I could have gotten the insight into what I was really dealing with without being open. At that point I just felt so desperate and out of control that I would do anything to get out of the place I felt so stuck in.

EDIT: I just want to add that I was totally mind-blown by the depth of the issue. I was thinking I was gonna get treated for an eating disorder and be done with it. The ultimate relief I felt in uncovering some of the deeper issues I was dealing with was crazy! I like didn't even realize how much of a burdon I had been carrying around. The food thing was just a manifestation of all of the other stuff that was going on inside me.
 

hjgbujhghg

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Yeah I basically went from a period of extreme dieting to a period of bingeing/restricting in kind of a cyclical way. Some times more bingeing than dieting, sometimes it was both in shorter periods of time, and sometimes I'd restrict for longer periods.

Yeah, being open in therapy is definitely crucial. There's no way I could have gotten the insight into what I was really dealing with without being open. At that point I just felt so desperate and out of control that I would do anything to get out of the place I felt so stuck in.

EDIT: I just want to add that I was totally mind-blown by the depth of the issue. I was thinking I was gonna get treated for an eating disorder and be done with it. The ultimate relief I felt in uncovering some of the deeper issues I was dealing with was crazy! I like didn't even realize how much of a burdon I had been carrying around. The food thing was just a manifestation of all of the other stuff that was going on inside me.

This is exactly what happened to me... I had the control and everything and now I can restrict for a few days, I lost a kilo or so and feel much better about myself and then suddenly something just turns over in my mind and I binge and gain...and then again diet, and then binge... crazy.
I felt like I'd do anything to get from the problems that make me stuck many times before... But I never did do anything about it. I still kind of feel like if I could reach my goal weight I could stop it and just be happy...
 

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I have a natural tendency to over eat.
There'as not alot of rhyme or reason to it - I'm simply ravenous.
And because I'm not one to like being hassled with details and nit-picking, I have had to turn to simple rules of thumb to keep my weight in check, namely:
(1) Exercise = Find some form that you like and you'll do it more regularly

(2) Eat smaller portions, but more frequently. Instead of 3 big meals per day, divide each in half and space them out every two hours or so

(3) Protein shakes/Smoothies = Have alot of nutrition but are low in calories if made sensibly

(4) Get bloodwork done = If you are hypo-thyroid it doesn't matter how well you eat, or how much you exercise - you will gain weight, and it's frustrating as hell. My Das gained almost 30 pounfs in a single year, his soctor ran some bloodwork and found his thyroid levels were near zero - after being on synthroid/T3 for 3 months his weight was down to normal levels, and his energy levels back to normal

(5) Cut your carbohydrate intake, increase your protein + vegetable + healthy fat intake. I can drop 5 pounds in about 2 weeks if I do this alone

Mt biggest weakness? :shock:
Midnight snacking! :popc1: :doh:
I eat well most days, but when I wake up in the middle of the night I am starving and pissed off and about 5 minutes later a massive glass of milk + something sweet is going down the hatch.

None of the above are silver bullets, but each helps a little, and serves to keep the beast that is me in check somehow. :newwink:

You can totally figure this out!
Give me a shout if you need any exercise ideas, I have a ton stored in my head at all times.

:hifive:
 

hjgbujhghg

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I have a natural tendency to over eat.
There'as not alot of rhyme or reason to it - I'm simply ravenous.
And because I'm not one to like being hassled with details and nit-picking, I have had to turn to simple rules of thumb to keep my weight in check, namely:
(1) Exercise = Find some form that you like and you'll do it more regularly

(2) Eat smaller portions, but more frequently. Instead of 3 big meals per day, divide each in half and space them out every two hours or so

(3) Protein shakes/Smoothies = Have alot of nutrition but are low in calories if made sensibly

(4) Get bloodwork done = If you are hypo-thyroid it doesn't matter how well you eat, or how much you exercise - you will gain weight, and it's frustrating as hell. My Das gained almost 30 pounfs in a single year, his soctor ran some bloodwork and found his thyroid levels were near zero - after being on synthroid/T3 for 3 months his weight was down to normal levels, and his energy levels back to normal

(5) Cut your carbohydrate intake, increase your protein + vegetable + healthy fat intake. I can drop 5 pounds in about 2 weeks if I do this alone

Mt biggest weakness? :shock:
Midnight snacking! :popc1: :doh:
I eat well most days, but when I wake up in the middle of the night I am starving and pissed off and about 5 minutes later a massive glass of milk + something sweet is going down the hatch.

None of the above are silver bullets, but each helps a little, and serves to keep the beast that is me in check somehow. :newwink:

You can totally figure this out!
Give me a shout if you need any exercise ideas, I have a ton stored in my head at all times.

:hifive:

Thank you :)
The true is, that I try to eat healthy, but when I am in my mood for binge, it's just hard for me to control what I eat. I tried some exercise and I feel like I am better at this, because I used to be much lazier, now I excercise a bit more, but still I think it's not much and I could do more. I did my blood tests and I am actually hyper thyriod. I used to take hormonal pills for 5 years and I gaind 30 lbs in not even an year when I took them. But now my doctor said the thyriod is still hyper, but I don't have to take the pills anymore. I lost weight since I am not on these pills, actually the whole 35lbs. But as I said I used to diet much and not really in a healthy way. Now when I started to binge I still didn't gain much, I think if any other person without a thyroid problem would be eating as much as I did the past moth he would gain twice as much as I did. But I am really interested in some excercise advices, so share them if you have any. :)
 

five sounds

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This is exactly what happened to me... I had the control and everything and now I can restrict for a few days, I lost a kilo or so and feel much better about myself and then suddenly something just turns over in my mind and I binge and gain...and then again diet, and then binge... crazy.
I felt like I'd do anything to get from the problems that make me stuck many times before... But I never did do anything about it. I still kind of feel like if I could reach my goal weight I could stop it and just be happy...

Yeah, that out of control feeling is scary. Made me feel even worse about myself when I would binge, cuz I just felt like ashamed, disgusting, and like I had no self-control in those times. For me, I had to shift the focus away from food and onto the mental and emotional stuff. I am so much happier with my body now than when I was hyper-focused on my weight. As long as the focus was on my body, I don't think I could have ever reached a point where my eating problems were resolved.
 

hjgbujhghg

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Yeah, that out of control feeling is scary. Made me feel even worse about myself when I would binge, cuz I just felt like ashamed, disgusting, and like I had no self-control in those times. For me, I had to shift the focus away from food and onto the mental and emotional stuff. I am so much happier with my body now than when I was hyper-focused on my weight. As long as the focus was on my body, I don't think I could have ever reached a point where my eating problems were resolved.

Yes that feeling of failure... It's like falling off a cliff. You diet, you climb the cliff, you're on its top. Then you binge and fall and then climb again...
To be really honest I didn't like you that much at first, but the more I chat with you the more I can see we have some things in common and I am just really glad, that you're here on this forum.
 

five sounds

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Yes that feeling of failure... It's like falling off a cliff. You diet, you climb the cliff, you're on its top. Then you binge and fall and then climb again...
To be really honest I didn't like you that much at first, but the more I chat with you the more I can see we have some things in common and I am just really glad, that you're here on this forum.
Ugh yeah it's a terrible up and down cycle. Leaves you feeling trapped and down on yourself.

Aw, thank you! I'm glad you're here too. I think we have some things in common too. It's really nice to talk to other people who deal with similar stuff.
 

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@SophiaDeep... hey... I've been there too... I started restricting my eating to around a can of soup a day in middle school because I got teased for my muscular legs. I dropped a lot of weight... then I started cracking and binging because I was so hungry... which led to starve/binge cycles. Then I stopped starving myself but couldn't stop the binging... I got really heavy in high school. Then I went on ADHD medicine and got slender again. When I went to college... I stopped the ADHD meds... and having lots of healthy food prepared for me and readily available in the cafeteria helped me start to eat normally again, and the whole big adventure of college was such a time-consuming, mental energy consuming process that it helped take my focus off my body and my eating. The binges stopped being so frequent. Later, I found myself overeating instead, and gained weight again, but my relationship with food has been getting better year by year. I'm getting back to healthy eating now and the starve/binge cycles have mostly waned. A lot of it was getting through a period of time without feeling like I HAD to restrict or binge to be okay. I started learning things that substitute for the emotional comfort of binges - long hot showers, good books, sex, going out with friends, yoga. It's hard to overcome, but try to trust yourself. Your "normal" setting is still within you and will always be. You have to break the "programming" that is pushing you to binge again and again despite desiring otherwise.
 

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I'd suggest a detox week to get your metabolism to normal levels. Lots of tea, and avoid high GI food like the plague.
 

hjgbujhghg

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@SophiaDeep... hey... I've been there too... I started restricting my eating to around a can of soup a day in middle school because I got teased for my muscular legs. I dropped a lot of weight... then I started cracking and binging because I was so hungry... which led to starve/binge cycles. Then I stopped starving myself but couldn't stop the binging... I got really heavy in high school. Then I went on ADHD medicine and got slender again. When I went to college... I stopped the ADHD meds... and having lots of healthy food prepared for me and readily available in the cafeteria helped me start to eat normally again, and the whole big adventure of college was such a time-consuming, mental energy consuming process that it helped take my focus off my body and my eating. The binges stopped being so frequent. Later, I found myself overeating instead, and gained weight again, but my relationship with food has been getting better year by year. I'm getting back to healthy eating now and the starve/binge cycles have mostly waned. A lot of it was getting through a period of time without feeling like I HAD to restrict or binge to be okay. I started learning things that substitute for the emotional comfort of binges - long hot showers, good books, sex, going out with friends, yoga. It's hard to overcome, but try to trust yourself. Your "normal" setting is still within you and will always be. You have to break the "programming" that is pushing you to binge again and again despite desiring otherwise.

I used to be really bad with my eating habits at middle school. I had to take hormonal pills on my thyroid and I gained much weight because of them. I was in this cycle of restricting and binging before, and as binges became more frequent I gained a lot of weight at highschool. But when I stopped taking the hormonal pills, I lost like 5 pounds without even trying and I started to like it, so for the past 1 and half year I was restricting and occasionally I ate nornamly, but having a piece of chocolate was the biggest taboo. And so now I just started to binge and I really don't know what happend, or what I miss, because I have friends, sex and all this stuff :D .
 

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I'm not going to pretend to know what it's like to diet/binge, but I started trying to have more 'food awareness' about a year ago. It's just amazing how much bad food there is out there -- even things you thought were healthy! I think eating the right food helps you feel satisfied longer. It's about getting into the right mind state for me so that just eating healthy is rewarding in itself.

Good luck! :)
 

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I used to be really bad with my eating habits at middle school. I had to take hormonal pills on my thyroid and I gained much weight because of them. I was in this cycle of restricting and binging before, and as binges became more frequent I gained a lot of weight at highschool. But when I stopped taking the hormonal pills, I lost like 5 pounds without even trying and I started to like it, so for the past 1 and half year I was restricting and occasionally I ate nornamly, but having a piece of chocolate was the biggest taboo. And so now I just started to binge and I really don't know what happend, or what I miss, because I have friends, sex and all this stuff :D .

Oh, I didn't mean those things are missing from your life. What I have read about food addiction suggests that it is akin to any other addiction where it becomes a pleasurable process and one that we come to rely on for the "high" - psychological, emotional, physical. The "fix" floods our minds with reward signals, so it feels good and we want to do it again, even though on a purely cognitive level we know it is bad.

At least for me, I think the binges were about feeling controlled - feeling like I could never have everything I wanted because of the food restrictions - and just breaking the restrictions and taking everything I wanted. I still remember one of the first times I ever did it, I ate an entire box of cherry Pop-Tarts, because those were my favorite and I hated that I "wasn't allowed" to have them because they were "bad". It was about not being boxed in. It was about the emotional satisfaction of being able to take and take and take. Personally I still fall prey to it every once in a while after a particularly frustrating time dealing with navigating around unhealthy but appealing food. I read a book at some point that suggested taking a period of time to really eat whatever you want, which is sort of a scary thing because you can confront what an endless pit your stomach really can be and how much you really can gain - but when I did it I also found that while it was pig heaven for the first few days, it got kind of gross and disorienting as time went on, because I wasn't structuring my eating around anything but my desires. So, though I don't know if it'd work for everyone, it helped me recalibrate to listening to my body again.

But, even once the food restrictions were gone, there was still that "empty hole" that I associated with binging. I had friends too, sex too, pleasant things in my life. It wasn't about that stuff... just about acknowledging the gnawing feeling of loneliness and emptiness and yearning and ability to ever be full/fulfilled that sometimes comes with being human, that can't really be filled by anything except affirmation of life and meaning. So that's how I try to confront it now.

Whether or not that is the case for you, too... I don't know. But if I feel like binging, then it's that immersion in physical comfort that I'm seeking, something to confront the void of existence. So I try to go find it elsewhere through other mediums.
 

five sounds

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Oh, I didn't mean those things are missing from your life. What I have read about food addiction suggests that it is akin to any other addiction where it becomes a pleasurable process and one that we come to rely on for the "high" - psychological, emotional, physical. The "fix" floods our minds with reward signals, so it feels good and we want to do it again, even though on a purely cognitive level we know it is bad.

At least for me, I think the binges were about feeling controlled - feeling like I could never have everything I wanted because of the food restrictions - and just breaking the restrictions and taking everything I wanted. It was about not being boxed in. It was about the emotional satisfaction of being able to take and take and take. Personally I still fall prey to it every once in a while after a particularly frustrating time dealing with navigating around unhealthy but appealing food. I read a book at some point that suggested taking a period of time to really eat whatever you want, which is sort of a scary thing because you can confront what an endless pit your stomach really can be and how much you really can gain - but when I did it I also found that while it was pig heaven for the first few days, it got kind of gross and disorienting as time went on, because I wasn't structuring my eating around anything but my desires. So, though I don't know if it'd work for everyone, that helped me recalibrate.

Once the food restrictions were gone, there was still that "empty hole" from binging. I had friends too, sex too, pleasant things in my life. It wasn't about that stuff... just about acknowledging the gnawing feeling of loneliness and emptiness and yearning that sometimes comes with being human, that can't really be filled by anything except affirmation of life and meaning. So that's how I try to confront it now.

Whether or not that is the case for you, too... I don't know. But if I feel like binging, then it's that immersion in physical comfort that I'm seeking. So I try to go find it elsewhere through other mediums.

+1 to all of that.
 

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i think the most helpful thing for me is trying to notice how i feel after i eat different foods. and to use that as information to help me pay more attention to an organized story about my digestion, which, like money, is something we all have to kind of manage with consistent attention and awareness.

i definitely stress eat. it happens because of desire (an sx gluttony and feeling that i should always get the best and get everything i want), and also because of a feeling of being in control in some way. the overeating happens as well also because of the numbing out of anxiety that can happen when you syphon off so much energy that could ignite in the mind into digesting a mountain of food.

two things that can be really helpful are trying to rebalance your palate, which to me means eating a few handfuls of bitter, leafy greens every morning, maybe some savory hot cereal with chicken stock, and drinking kombucha or having a couple of naturally fermented, high probiotic pickled foods. we lose our sense of bitter, we lose our sense of balance. the ideas of what will satisfy us get a bit distorted, and we often develop a sugar habit. the second thing for me is drinking herbal tea. it is a positive ritual that brings me back into my body, has nutritive value (i like yogi teas, that have stress relieving adaptogens like licorice root in them), and are even better if you add a bit of fresh lemon. sipping is good. sensation is good. slowness is good. noticing how it feels, and letting go of some of your compulsive energy, noticing what arises when you stop perpetuating it and instead choose to observe what has become involuntary for you, is just grounding. a bit of conscious movement can be good too.

i know for me doing these things can help me aim for the place where i can feel myself more, which in turn gives me a much better chance at directly confronting the needs that have struggled to get met. this is really helpful because it allows you to empathize with yourself bc you realize that ultimately you're just taking a wildly indirect, ineffective strategy to meet a need, and if you just stay engaged and aware, you may be able to solve this problem now that you've been able to so much better define it for yourself.
 
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I was chronically overweight in my twenties (about 12-15kgs excess) and could not shift it no matter who much gym work I did or how carefully I ate. Then once I gave up trying to be my normal weight (in my 30's) I lost it all in 3 months and havent struggled with my weight since. Two important things happened to me....

1. I lost the stress I was constantly feeling about my weight. Stress hormones when chronic in the body do cause you to seek out binge food and also put on weight. If you have a lot of free ranging cortisol in your body you wont be able to lose anything.

2. I stopped eating what people told me I should eat, and just reached for the food my body told me I should eat. It seems scary at first, especially if you fear you'll end up living on chocolate cake or something. But actually our bodies are smarter than that. I didnt even notice at the time but what I ended up eating the most of was steamed vegetables and proteins and I hardly ever ate any grain or sugar. In 3 months with only walking as an exercise I went from 65kgs to 50kgs and have stayed there ever since.

There is a lot of misinformation about diet, most of it spread by health organisations. We no longer know how to eat or what to eat anymore. I personally believe that there isn't one diet thats right for all. Our bodies are individuals and while I blow up like a balloon if I eat grain, others can eat it and be healthy. We know what our best food is when we eat a natural diet (unprocessed foods) and listen to our bodies which do signal to us what it wants as food. My body craves protein and carbs from vegetables. Starchy carbs like grain bloat me and make me feel lethargic so I don't eat them. My way is unscientific and a lot of people will argue its wrong, I don't care. Its the only thing which has gotten my body to its natural state and that is proof enough for me. I am healthy now, carrying around 15kgs of excess weight wasn't.
 

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Thank you guys so I just guess I should less concentrate on my body and more on other things in my life. It's just really hard, I've never been overweight (acording to official charts) in my life, but I used to be chubby during high shcool and I felt bad about it. It just felt so good when I lost 30lbs and got into being underweight, it was like my dream was comming true, it's just hard for me to accept this is going to be my past...I am still good BMI 18,7 but what bothers me is that the last time I started to binge eating from BMI 17 I went to BMI 23 in an year...It was terrible and I just don't want to end up like this again. I like being skinny, it's just hard to manage it. My weight was 93lbs before holiday and now it's around 101, but getting groser and it's going to be 130 soon if I won't change it, because I've been once there and I know how much I can binge...
 
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