I'm considering in investing in cosmetic surgery...

[mrcockburn]

Unfortunately, I have a job here, too. It's not a job I really like, but at least I can afford to live alone with it.



Now you're just making fun of me.

What's the job? Is it something you have to stay in Vegas for, rather than relocating to another company elsewhere?

 

[The Ü™]

What's the job? Is it something you have to stay in Vegas for, rather than relocating to another company elsewhere?

I'm an independent contractor.

 

[The Great One]

Sort of defeats the purpose. So do tits so enhanced, lactation gets trapped behind the jelly.

Yeah, but why do I care if my woman can lactate or not, if I don't plan on having kids? And even if I did have kids, I would just bottle feed. I think that the dick problem is much greater.

 

[mrcockburn]

I'm an independent contractor.

...are you a gigolo?

 

[SD45T-2]

''The great thing about irony is that it splits things apart, gets up above them so we can see the flaws and hypocrisies and duplicates.''
David Foster Wallace

"The nail felt very irony." - Pig in Pearls Before Swine

 

[The Ü™]

...are you a gigolo?

No.

 

[The Ü™]

Blue or Green eyes. You can get contacts.

A well defined chin and jawline. Nicolas Cage is a great example of what not to look like.

Perhaps a larger nose so that your face is more dynamic.

Aim for more symmetry as well. It has been scientifically shown that Swedish men are the most handsome in the world.

Looks like we've finally gotten somewhere. But is it possible to surgically change eye color without causing blindness? Contacts look too unnatural.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Looks like we've finally gotten somewhere. But is it possible to surgically change eye color without causing blindness? Contacts look too unnatural.

Oh, I am sure where there is a will and a pocketbook, there is a way.

Ah, yes. Finally gotten somewhere. It's amazing what truth telling can yield. I almost feel ashamed for myself. Alas, I blame it on my secret feelings for you and my desire to never change you.

 

[The Ü™]

I've been thinking, maybe it's not my looks that are the problem. Maybe it's my personality.

 

[Nocapszy]

i am confused by your usage of the word "invest" in the context of the title of this thread.
please elucidate.

 

[The Ü™]

invest (in-vest) v. to put (money) to use, by purchase or expenditure, in something offering potential profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.

 

[Nocapszy]

i'm familiar with the definition of the word.
hence my confusion by your usage.

 

[prplchknz]

I've been thinking, maybe it's not my looks that are the problem. Maybe it's my personality.

really and what let you to this conclusion. nothing anyone said 50 billion times in this thread and your blog?

 

[The Ü™]

really and what let you to this conclusion. nothing anyone said 50 billion times in this thread and your blog?

Nope. No one's said anything about it. At least, not that I've seen.

 

[The Ü™]

i'm familiar with the definition of the word.
hence my confusion by your usage.

Well the idea was that if I invested my money into plastic surgery, I would be more attractive, and thus, more desirable to the opposite sex. Hence, the pussy would come. (The pussy would, of course, be the income.)

 

[The Ü™]

So we're finding that I have horrible teeth and that smiling for the camera was possibly a bad idea.

Exhibit A

And now perhaps I should consider a dentoplasty?

Are my teeth misshapen beyond the chip on the left front tooth?

 

[MacGuffin]

So we're finding that I have horrible teeth and that smiling for the camera was possibly a bad idea.

Complete lies, every comment I've seen has been positive on smiling.

 

[The Ü™]

Complete lies, every comment I've seen has been positive on smiling.

Well what if they found out that my teeth were black or my smile was all gums?

 

[MacGuffin]

Well what if they found out that my teeth were black or my smile was all gums?

What if they discovered you were a Jewish girl?

 

[The Ü™]

What if they discovered you were a Jewish girl?

Well the point is, smiling may not always be the answer to becoming more attractive.