I'm considering in investing in cosmetic surgery...

[Thalassa]

Are you telling me you're not into males such as these?



Based on the dating profiles I've viewed, a pretty boy is exactly what women seem to want. And what does this whole "having something to offer" thing mean? Moreover, what do you feel I "have to offer" them?

I keep telling you that your personality and/or overdone "hey look at me I'm so scary" thing is the problem, not your looks, bro.

You also can't base yourself on me, at all. You've got to realize that different women are looking for different things, both in terms of looks and personality.

Also, you want to find someone who genuinely shares some of your interests, right? So you probably want to attract a woman who likes similar music/style anyway.

I'm just saying the "trying too hard to be scary" thing is pretty lame. I'm not sure it comes across as genuine to any female over the age of 15 or 16.

 

[The Ü™]

But what the hell does "having something to offer" even mean?

 

[A window to the soul]

Are you telling me you're not into males such as these?

I do not prefer males such as those. I prefer something like this...

 

[EJCC]

I do not prefer males such as those. I prefer something like this...

Like noodlers?

 

[Thalassa]

But what the hell does "having something to offer" even mean?

Are you kind, understanding and helpful? Or are you rational, patient, and a natural leader? Neither? A little of both?

Whatever you ARE (really are, your natural strengths) are what you have to offer. And you should play up your strengths - whether that's being smart or funny or whatever.

And your interests and style are part of that, so don't change your face with plastic surgery, and don't pretend you don't like the music that you do. What you actually ARE is what you have to offer.

Be that. You can play it up, exaggerate it a little, but I'm not sure how pretending to have bodies in the basement (no really) is playing up your natural strengths, unless it comes across as obviously funny or theatrical, and not like you're TRYING TO BE SCARY.

What kind of girl will that attract? I mean, really? Maybe you need to show more of your real self. That helps too. If you're a little more open about who you actually are (instead of trying to play up one facet of your personality) you'll seem more interesting and dynamic. Like you have layers. Like an onion.

And hey, you're making progress even by making yourself vulnerable enough to make a thread like this. I think it's probably a step in the right direction.

 

[EJCC]

But what the hell does "having something to offer" even mean?

It means having a non-physical trait that would make a girl want to date you. Possibly interests that she shares. Or appealing traits like thoughtfulness, chivalry, loyalty, etc.

Also, read Marm's post.

I keep telling you that your personality and/or overdone "hey look at me I'm so scary" thing is the problem, not your looks, bro.

You also can't base yourself on me, at all. You've got to realize that different women are looking for different things, both in terms of looks and personality.

Also, you want to find someone who genuinely shares some of your interests, right? So you probably want to attract a woman who likes similar music/style anyway.

I'm just saying the "trying too hard to be scary" thing is pretty lame. I'm not sure it comes across as genuine to any female over the age of 15 or 16.

 

[The Ü™]

I don't think showing off my "real self" is such a good idea. People will think I'm insufferably boring.

 

[A window to the soul]

Like noodlers?

Wellll, yes.

And this...

[YOUTUBE="ILibbrGl2R8"]Mud on Tires[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Thalassa]

I don't think showing off my "real self" is such a good idea. People will think I'm insufferably boring.

Then why does prplchknz like your personality when you're being normal?

 

[The Ü™]

Then why does prplchknz like your personality when you're being normal?

It's probably an attempt to make me feel better.

But seriously, my life is pretty boring and routine. I don't do many interesting things all the time.

 

[Thalassa]

It's probably an attempt to make me feel better.

Stop putting yourself down. Learn to accept a compliment with grace. Putting yourself down isn't typically the best idea when trying to present yourself to others (and it's also not good for your own self-esteem). If you don't respect yourself, no one else will.

People are trying to tell you that you're decent looking, and someone even says they like the "real" you, and you just keep saying "no no no." It's kind of sad.

But seriously, my life is pretty boring and routine. I don't do many interesting things all the time.

Maybe you think you're boring because you're you. A woman who really likes you will like spending time with you, talking to you, whatever. Talk about your ideas and interests if you don't "do" much.

 

[EJCC]

It's probably an attempt to make me feel better.

That is completely untrue to how prpl operates. Can you imagine her bullshitting anyone like that?? [MENTION=360]prplchknz[/MENTION], vouch for me!

Also, the majority of people don't act like that -- because the majority of people are too self-involved to focus all of their energy on collectively fooling one person. The only time I could think of that happening would be "The Truman Show" -- and that scenario is statistically unlikely!

But seriously, my life is pretty boring and routine. I don't do many interesting things all the time.

Doesn't matter! I think it's safe to say that if you're being yourself, and you're putting yourself out there, then your chances at finding a girl who likes you are much higher. And I think [MENTION=6109]Halla74[/MENTION] has said, either on this thread or another thread, that if a girl starts dating you with the assumption that you are someone different, then things won't be pretty when she finds out that you were essentially fooling her the entire time. (Only he phrased it significantly better than I did!)

Remember -- healthy relationships are based on honesty.

 

[Glycerine]

I don't think showing off my "real self" is such a good idea. People will think I'm insufferably boring.

What is "boring"? IXTJs seem to give off the strong silent type vibe with the added bonus of stability and unexpected witty remarks. I think that would be quite attractive to many folks. Playing it up theatrically can be contrived and "boring".

 

[Thalassa]

IXTJs seem to give off the strong silent type vibe with the added bonus of stability and unexpected witty remarks. I think that would be quite attractive to many folks. .

This!

 

[A window to the soul]

It's probably an attempt to make me feel better.

But seriously, my life is pretty boring and routine. I don't do many interesting things all the time.

These negative thoughts are a real downer. Have you tried inspiring yourself through positive affirmations?

When your heart cries, love you for you.

We need a support group up in here. *looks around* Er, guess I'm standing in it. I'm late to the party!

 

[The Ü™]

These negative thoughts are a real downer. Have you tried inspiring yourself through positive affirmations?

When your heart cries, love you for you.

We need a support group up in here. *looks around* Er, guess I'm standing in it. I'm late to the party!

I do not know what you just said...

 

[EJCC]

I do not know what you just said...

That's because it was positively dripping with Fe.

Warm and cuddly Fe.

Look to me and Marm if you want Fi to balance that out!

 

[Thalassa]

That's because it was positively dripping with Fe.

Warm and cuddly Fe.

Look to me and Marm if you want Fi to balance that out!

Is it time for his beating?

 

[EJCC]

Is it time for his beating?

That would be counterproductive.

Honesty is the best medicine!

Edit: I'm sorry if I've been coming across as kind of a bitch on this thread. I haven't filtered my Te much here, just because unfiltered Te is the most useful tool I have, in getting a point across as clearly as possible.

 

[Thalassa]

That would be counterproductive.

Honesty is the best medicine!

I thought I was being called in to balance out all that warm and cuddly Fe. My bad.