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Anxiety disorders

SilkRoad

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I was wondering if anyone has been diagnosed with some sort of anxiety disorder and would care to share their experiences.

I had therapy a couple of years ago for a fear of flying phobia and am not out of the woods with it yet, though it seems improved. I do wonder for various reasons if I am suffering from some more generalized anxiety disorder and if the phobia may have been partly a symptom.
 

Malice

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Diagnosed? No. Nothing I've ever sought treatment for, though I have noticed in recent years that I am forming a bit of claustrophobia (uncomfortable in elevators, don't like sitting against the wall in a restaurant with someone on the other side of me, etc.) as well as have managed to worry myself needlessly into a panic attack on more than one occasion. :shrug: Nothing too out of the norm I think for a typical over-stressed college student about to join the rat-race of life?
 

SilkRoad

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^Yeah, it can be hard to tell (for me certainly) if a level of anxiety is really much beyond "normal" in an average stressful life (and I live in a big stressful city), or if it's nothing that unusual. I've always been a bit of a nervous flyer and had a bit of a thunderstorm phobia, but both are worse than they used to be. Like, if I know the weather is thunder-ish, but there's no actual thunder/lightning yet, and I see a flash from somewhere, like a camera flash, I'll jump sideways. That sort of thing. And my anxiety is sometimes hard to control when I fly, though having done CBT a couple of years ago helped. It's getting better but is certainly worse than it was several years ago - I started having real problems three years ago. Before that I only got really scared when I flew if there was a lot of turbulence.

I also wonder if cutting out caffeine entirely would make a difference, but I doubt that will happen... I drink more tea than coffee anyway. But I could probably stand to lower my intake a bit.

I feel more...unsafe than I used to. Sometimes unnecessarily. Any kind of violent weather alarms me, I was scared to drive when I went home recently (I only have a license for my country of origin) as I hadn't driven for a long time, etc. And when an old family friend died last year, it made me feel like something was going to happen to my parents or family. Not much logic to it.

I also tend to suffer from musculoskeletal chest pains, and under a lot of stress I have severe nausea and fatigue. At stressful times I've also been prone to waking up with a choking feeling.

It's just the cumulative impact of all these symptoms that kind of worries me. Haven't been to a doctor for quite some time, might be time.
 

Crescent Fresh

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Actually I think I have all reasons to be anxious right now:

1. Just moved to a new country.
2. Preparing for changing a new career.
3. No friends nor relatives here.
4. Have been unemployed for nearly 5 months.
5. I'm renting a 85 square feet apartment (not kidding!).
6. Cash is getting tighter (from my savings).

:(
 

SilkRoad

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Actually I think I have all reasons to be anxious right now:

1. Just moved to a new country.
2. Preparing for changing a new career.
3. No friends nor relatives here.
4. Have been unemployed for nearly 5 months.
5. I'm renting a 85 square feet apartment (not kidding!).
6. Cash is getting tighter (from my savings).

:(

:( yeah, those are all valid reasons to be stressed! I get horrifically stressed if I feel too much uncertainty. I hope things settle down soon, that's a lot to have on at once. And btw, I feel for you over the 85 square feet apartment. I've lived in that kind of accommodation in recent years, though that may be even smaller...

:hug:
 

SilkRoad

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SilkRoad, do you exercise?

I walk a good deal, and run up subway escalators and that sort of thing, but not much in the way of systematic exercise.

I am going to try to get that going with jogging or to the gym at least once a week. It is a current goal, once I've recovered from jet lag after my recent trip ;)

I have tried this before but tend to fall off the wagon and not keep it up. I think it could make a difference to both my physical and mental health, though.
 

Santosha

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SilkRoad, I was diagnosed with GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 22 and it was serious stuff. I think there are people who actually enjoy/find comfort in wallowing in depression, self misery, but I've never been one of them. I rarely like to admit any kind of emotional vulnerability, believing that any kind of depression/anxiety is something I can change or un-do if I examine long enough, find the right angle, work hard enough, etc. But this "do it all myself" mentality truly screwed me up. It was after I broke up with my first boyfriend (5 yrs with INFJ) and I swear it almost killed me. I knew we were unhealthy and that I couldn't settle down, but I also couldn't imagine every loving anyone as much as him (still do from time to time). So it broke me. As in, took a chunk of my soul. (Okay I'm being dramatic lol)

The way I delt with it was by not dealing with it. Classic E7. Instead of allowing myself to sit in pain, heal, nurture myself.. I went buck wild crazy with partying and dating other people to get in as many memories as I possibley could to forget him. This included partying non-stop and drug abuse for over a year. Silly silly me.. to believe I could ever cover up all that indepth emotion with meaningless surface goodies. It just repressed all that pain, confusion, and fear.. and made me a ticking time-bomb.

It started with panic-attacks (that I had never experienced pre-relationship) and they become so bad that I would be sitting at my desk at work, and suddenly feel like I was going to die. I'd become sweaty, my vision fuzzy, I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my chest would become really tight. My mind would race over and over.. "I am dying. I am having a heart attack. I'm dying." I would have to get up from my desk, as cooly and calmly as I could pretend.. and "go for a walk". Most of the time I'd go into a bathroom and lock myself in the stall. After about 10 minutes it would pass. What did I try to do? Why distract myself some more ofcourse! Then the Agoraphobia set in. It started small, I'd be in a club, at a party, even movie theatres, and all the sudden I've be sooo overwhelmed that again, I felt like I was going to die if I didn't get to a safe, isolated place. I'd up and leave. By this point my friends knew I was going through something. They'd try to calm me down.. but it made it worse, because I felt like my total freakout was on display. So finally I went to a doctor, who listened to me for about 5 minutes and wrote me a Xanix scrip. But I was, and always will be, against medications (for me personally.) Work become a nightmare. I didn't want to leave the house. Always in fear that as soon as I was in public I would flip.

One night this 'Attacking Anxiety' commercial came on, and I watched all these people talking about how they had the same problem as me. How it had almost destroyed their lives. I phoned the 800 number and had a $150.00 dollar video package sent to me, next day shipment. Here is the funny thing.. I NEVER did watch even one of those videos that came. About that time, I decided to rent a room in my condo out to an aquaintance. And she turned out to be a Godsend for me. She was an ISFJ. SHe was healthy, routine, completely against drugs and partying.. and she knew alot about love and psychology. She was very into nature, chakras, body therapy.. and for almost another year she acted as my own personal shrink/healher/guru/best friend. On nights that I couldn't sleep, she would make me special teas, give me body massages, and even let me CUDDLE with her! (It was incredibly intimate, even though we are both very straight.) She listened to me soo much, hugged me, she'd help me breathe. She talked through alot of my fears of being alone, of never finding true love again, she helped me pin-point the triggers that set me into anxiety and negative thought processes. She got me into artistic dance, meditation, and all kinds of super-foods. We'd go to the gym together 6 days a week. After a while, I noticed my anxiety attacks were less frequent. When ever I'd have one, I'd tell myself "This will pass. Your not going to die. This has happened many times, and you haven't died yet." I learned how to correct my thought patterns.

After another year all the anxiety and fears were gone. Ofcourse it took some time, many uncomfortable situations, and major life changes. But I did get through it, and I did it without a fucking "Happy pill," without a huge shrink bill, and with an amazing insight on the ability to heal oneself. I was so lucky to have a friend there that was entirely open and available to direct and nurture me like this. My advice to anyone having these problems is to reach out. Even though your natural instinct will be to hide away, feel ashamed, feel like no one will want anything to do with you when your down and depressed, or feeling "crazy".. there are all kinds of community resources, or even just people.. very capeable of helping you learn to self heal, if you can't figure it out on your own.
 

Crescent Fresh

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I rarely like to admit any kind of emotional vulnerability, believing that any kind of depression/anxiety is something I can change or un-do if I examine long enough, find the right angle, work hard enough, etc.

I really admire people who can do this alone.

I can sort of feel the pain you went through, some part of your personal story really pinches me heart. :(

You seem to be a strong woman to go through all this, despite of having an ISFJ friend to keep track of you. I'm glad to hear that it's all over now. :)
 

Stanton Moore

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I walk a good deal, and run up subway escalators and that sort of thing, but not much in the way of systematic exercise.

I am going to try to get that going with jogging or to the gym at least once a week. It is a current goal, once I've recovered from jet lag after my recent trip ;)

I have tried this before but tend to fall off the wagon and not keep it up. I think it could make a difference to both my physical and mental health, though.

I have had trouble with anxiety for decades. I've come to call it 'free-floating' since it doesn't seem to be anchored to anything specific. It wears the clothes of whatever trouble I'm experiencing but isn't caused by them. The best thing I've found is aerobic exercise. A couple hours of cycling or 45 minutes of running is best for me. I feel completely reset afterwards. I can feel joy again. Food tastes better. People feel less hostile. Give it a try.
 

guesswho

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I have had trouble with anxiety for decades. I've come to call it 'free-floating' since it doesn't seem to be anchored to anything specific. It wears the clothes of whatever trouble I'm experiencing but isn't caused by them. The best thing I've found is aerobic exercise. A couple hours of cycling or 45 minutes of running is best for me. I feel completely reset afterwards. I can feel joy again. Food tastes better. People feel less hostile. Give it a try.

Sport is the best medicine for anxiety.
 

Such Irony

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I've got an anxiety/panic disorder that I take medication for.
 

Hera

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I had an episode two years ago that scared me to death. I remember that it started in January of that year. I was up until 2AM watching a movie on TCM and suddenly felt overwhelmed by something I can't really explain. A feeling of overall dread that I couldn't shake off. It scared me. I felt scared and I didn't know why. My body felt numb and strange, and I struggled to stand and call for someone in my house to help me because I was so sure I was dying. Then for two months, I experienced cold sweats, feeling close to death, waking up suddenly in my sleep because I couldn't breathe, waking up suddenly and my bed felt like it was shaking or that I was paralyzed, and having a dull ache in my chest ugh. There were just 500 symptoms showing up. I panicked at first going to the ER but after testing myself and probing myself for weeks I was resigned to the idea it was just a horrible, horrible anxiety episode that wouldn't go away. I was resigned, too, to the idea I'd feel like that for the rest of my life. But as quickly as it came, after two months of agony, it ended. I still don't know what provoked it.

The only thing that made me feel good during those two months was seeing my then BF. The symptoms seemed to decrease (but still were present) when he was around. A great source of comfort.
 

mmhmm

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SilkRoad, I was diagnosed with GAD - Generalized Anxiety Disorder at 22 and it was serious stuff. I think there are people who actually enjoy/find comfort in wallowing in depression, self misery, but I've never been one of them. I rarely like to admit any kind of emotional vulnerability, believing that any kind of depression/anxiety is something I can change or un-do if I examine long enough, find the right angle, work hard enough, etc. But this "do it all myself" mentality truly screwed me up...

The way I delt with it was by not dealing with it.

very similar, i was diagnosed at 27. what spurred it was i had put
my own career on hold and went to work for my family because i felt
that was the right thing to do at the time, this unspoken sense of obligation.
but i didn't realised then how i would end up feeling like i completely
lost control over myself, what i wanted to do, it all just became a 'duty'
that just drowned me. i was just lost, because i was listening to so many
people all at once and stopped listening to myself.

i completely withdrew from others and myself--and that's what i realise
now, it's dangerous to stop listening to yourself. it took me awhile, to
get back, i'm usually good at not staying unhappy for too long, but while
i was on meds: rivotril/klonopin, it just kinda made me sleep a lot. plus
i have a tendency to abuse drugs, and like to play pharmacist on myself.
i just had to get off the meds, had to impose restrictions so i could slowly
build up self-control--which is just very, very hard for me. i can't just have
a little--it's always all or nothing for me. and it included me having to give
up recreational drugs. up to that point, i had been a chronic pot smoker,
for almost ten years, and was consistently going on coke binges. like
10g in a weekend. it was insane and sooo cliche. i'd be up for 5 days
straight and just crash and burn.

but i got out of the zone, by just attacking the root of the problem.
listened to myself. figured out what i needed. not just what i wanted.
and went from there. discipline. is very hard for me. when i lack it,
i realise i'm not listening to myself. had to be an environment that was
conducive to getting better also. i started meditating a lot. just started
taking care of myself better. it's just hard, getting over myself, but i figure
nobody else gonna do it for me, so there was no choice.

i went back to what i loved, and what i knew best. and just had to pause
outside noise for awhile. and i just made up for all the time i was gone,
i was completely zoned in to building back what i had lost. very satisfying.
it just drove all the crazies out, and gave me a fresh pair of lens to look
through. very cool.
 
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