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Am I really heavily obese???

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slowriot

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So my parents always made a big drama about my body, not because they thought I was anorexic, but because they think I'm way too fat. When they learned that I never use the scales and only take my measurements, they took my measuring take and hid it, so I'd use the scales again. I didn't use the scales, if you were curious, because all I'm interested in is if my proportions are still okay. So when I found my measuring tape again after five months of not having any control over my body, I found that my waist gained 3 cm/1.2 inch and my hips gained 6 cm/2.4 inch (I already noticed that my bras were getting too small). Oops. Even though I'm one of the lucky few whose waist hip-ratio improves when gaining weight, my parents are making more drama about my body than ever, mostly because I don't eat a lot. My father thinks I have a problem with my thyroid gland and my mother thinks I'm balancing on the edge of obesity. So now I'm having a dilemma: I could start dieting and exercize more and lose my beloved curves (and saving €10000 to get myself a boob job and a butt job to get everything back in proportion) or I could keep everything the way it is and listen to my naggy parents. It would be nice to have some other opinions, so I just took a picture of myself with my phone (I'm sorry about the crappy quality). Am I really that fat?

image-upload-5-784054.jpg

No, Id even say you have a fantastic physique. You look healthy and like Id like women to look like. If you dont eat healthy and varied, just start doing that and you should have no problem looking good for years.
 

Eckhart

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Content of my post is obviously redundant to the other posts, but I guess one can never hear that too often, so anyway: No, you are not fat.
 

Queen Kat

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Thanks everyone (and ThatGirl too) for being honest. I already thought there was something wrong with my family. Today I went shopping and I saw all these other women trying clothes and so I observed how they look and I realized that at least 70% of them have more flaws than I do. On the other hand, in my family they also say that I shouldn't compare myself to others because other people aren't a good thing to compare myself to... I'm wondering what ideals my parents have. Maybe they've watched too many pro-ana sites. :yes:
 

iwakar

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Y'know I have to add... It wasn't until the past few years that I began to realize how much most men actually don't like really skinny women. Turns out a LOT of them like butts and hips and boobs and some squishy/jiggly bits. Mind you, there are exceptions to everything and all kinds of body shapes have the potential to be beautiful to others. But overall, I think it's the contrast of our softness to their hardness :laugh: that is the appeal --what an eye opener for me. I hated the way I looked for years, YEARS (still working on that) and was always convinced I was too fat. Ultimately, this belief spiraled into depression and made the 'me in my head' materialize into reality. I see now it was other women that made me feel bad about the way I looked and not men. /light bulb/ Feel really stupid for having figured that one out so late. So, I'm in the process of correcting it, but I have been asked by more than one fella "not to lose too much."

If people are telling you to drop weight, ask yourself first what their angle is. It'll help you decide if you ought to or not.

/cheers
 

Queen Kat

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Well, I've been trying to tell them that being skinny isn't that attractive and it almost made my think my father is actually closet gay (took a look in his computer, turned out he isn't, I'm totally surprised). Their problem is that I've had a bit of a belly for as long as I can remember and even at times when I was underweight (which you won't even notice when I'm wearing decent clothing and after my observation in the fashion store today I found out it's nothing compared to other women's bellies) and they're not able to see my ribs. Apparently your ribs need to show if you want to have a decent body. The thing is that many underweight girls have a belly (or at least more than I do) and their ribs don't always show. Anyways, I don't know what would be attractive about a body like this
thinspo1.jpg.w300h449.jpg


It's just frustrating. After years of having complexes about the way I look (I think I was five when I got my complexes and I started dieting for the first time at age eight, my parents even encouraged it) I finally started to look at myself in a more or less healthier way and I like myself, but I have to listen to those freaks complain about how I have a disformed body image? It's crazy!
 

iwakar

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Their problem is that I've had a bit of a belly for as long as I can remember and even at times when I was underweight (which you won't even notice when I'm wearing decent clothing and after my observation in the fashion store today I found out it's nothing compared to other women's bellies) and they're not able to see my ribs.

The abdomen pouch is arguably the most common place for fat to be stored on a woman anywhere. It's probably one of the last things to vanish entirely when we lose weight. I have this and also wide hips/large thighs. I could whittle myself down to a damn skeleton, but I would still have breadth and fatty substance in these areas.

We have to learn to love our body's distinct shapes or run ourselves into the ground trying to emulate someone else's. No gracias.
 

Randomnity

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Seriously, go to a doctor with them, tell the doctor that they think you're obese, and contain yourself as the doctor bursts out laughing. I'm 100% serious.

Now, they might just dismiss it as "damn quack doctor what does he know" but then you still have a doctor's opinion on your side. And if you were obese, going to the doctor to get nutrition advice/measure blood pressure and so on would be totally normal. Even for a yearly physical they should measure weight, so make sure your parents are there when you ask the doctor if he think you are obese.

I think this is the best thing you can do to stop them from harassing you. Other than moving out asap. They're seriously delusional and worse, hurting you with their delusions.

edit: it's not good to compare yourself to others, though. TONS of people are over- or underweight. Compare yourself to what doctors think is a healthy shape. You may or may not be slightly "overweight" by medical terms, hard to tell from that picture (I'm guessing you're well within healthy range, though), but you're certainly not obese, that much is clear.
 

Blackmail!

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Technically you're not obese. But not "average" either.
But since you require total honesty, and despite everything that has been said here, I think you could benefit from losing a little weight.
 

freeeekyyy

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I think you're very attractive. Totally being honest. Twig women are not a good representation of beauty. Women are not men, they're naturally supposed to have some fat.

And your parents are insane. If they think you're overweight, they must be either very underweight, or hypocrites.
 

Red Herring

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No, Id even say you have a fantastic physique. You look healthy and like Id like women to look like. If you dont eat healthy and varied, just start doing that and you should have no problem looking good for years.

This. You have wonderful curves and look great. I seriously hope you were joking about the boob job. Beauty operations are an extreme measure that should only be taken in extreme cases, I think. But that is besides the point.

As long as you eat healthy and feel physically fit I don't see what the problem is. Anyway, aren't you of full age by now? Sure you're parent's opinion is important to you, they are your parents. But part of growing up is freeing yourself from that inner need to please them. If you want some serious assessment, ask your doctor on the next check up (and maybe an expert opinion will make them shut up as well).
 

Queen Kat

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Technically you're not obese. But not "average" either.
But since you require total honesty, and despite everything that has been said here, I think you could benefit from losing a little weight.

Thanks for being honest.

Seriously, go to a doctor with them, tell the doctor that they think you're obese, and contain yourself as the doctor bursts out laughing. I'm 100% serious.

Now, they might just dismiss it as "damn quack doctor what does he know" but then you still have a doctor's opinion on your side. And if you were obese, going to the doctor to get nutrition advice/measure blood pressure and so on would be totally normal. Even for a yearly physical they should measure weight, so make sure your parents are there when you ask the doctor if he think you are obese.

I think this is the best thing you can do to stop them from harassing you. Other than moving out asap. They're seriously delusional and worse, hurting you with their delusions.

edit: it's not good to compare yourself to others, though. TONS of people are over- or underweight. Compare yourself to what doctors think is a healthy shape. You may or may not be slightly "overweight" by medical terms, hard to tell from that picture (I'm guessing you're well within healthy range, though), but you're certainly not obese, that much is clear.

They won't believe our doctor, she's overweight.

I think you're very attractive. Totally being honest. Twig women are not a good representation of beauty. Women are not men, they're naturally supposed to have some fat.

And your parents are insane. If they think you're overweight, they must be either very underweight, or hypocrites.

They're hypocrites. My father has a beer belly for as long as I can remember and my mother used to be chubbier than me at age 19.

This. You have wonderful curves and look great. I seriously hope you were joking about the boob job. Beauty operations are an extreme measure that should only be taken in extreme cases, I think. But that is besides the point.

As long as you eat healthy and feel physically fit I don't see what the problem is. Anyway, aren't you of full age by now? Sure you're parent's opinion is important to you, they are your parents. But part of growing up is freeing yourself from that inner need to please them. If you want some serious assessment, ask your doctor on the next check up (and maybe an expert opinion will make them shut up as well).

I wasn't joking about the pastic surgery. If I lose weight, I lose my curves too and I can't let that happen! I wouldn't feel good about myself without them. I don't really want to please my parents, I'm just tired of their nagging. About the doctor thing, I know they won't listen to our doctor, because our doctor isn't the skinniest person on earth either and they don't trust our doctor anyway.

You aren't obese. How do you feel about your physique?

Honestly? I love the way I look and I wouldn't like to look any different (okay, maybe a bit more feminine, but how the hell do I reach that, huh?). I know I can't wear everything with this body, skinny jeans and stuff, but I don't mind. I don't even understand what's the appeal of all the underweight models and celebrities we've been seeing on tv. How can that be sexy? I think it must be pretty uncomfortable for men to have sex with them, with all those bones sticking out.
 

miss fortune

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I'm an American of the Midwestern variety, which means that I know obese when I see obese, and you're not obese :nono:
 

Randomnity

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They won't believe our doctor, she's overweight.

See a different one if you can? I'm not surprised if they don't believe a doctor though, they're clearly delusional at least with this issue. Maybe they're purposefully exaggerating because they see you gaining weight and they think you'll reach an unhealthy weight at the rate you're going? So they're trying to scare you into losing weight now, when it'll be much much easier than it would be if you were actually obese?

Just trying to see any positive possible explanations...
 

Queen Kat

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Even before I started to gain weight, they were complaining about it, this has been going on for let's say two years or something. They even complain less now that I gained weight, can you imagine? It's not that I can't lose weight (it's a piece of cake for me, I lost lots of weight in two weeks three years ago and it lasted, until I lost my measuring tape), I just don't want to. I have this feeling that they want me to look like amodel and the last thing I'd want is looking like a model (that would be so unsexy). A few weeks ago there was this photoshopped advertisement for some sort of diet in our local newspaper with a super skinny model in it. Then I said I wouldn't want to look like that. My parents could not believe me. Then I asked them if looking like that would be realistic and healthy. They said it was. This is the picture in the ad:
dame_rechts.jpg

I have the original picture somewhere in my blog, but that's not mportant right now. In my eyes they're just holding me to unrealistic and unsexy standards. I don't understand how parents would want their children to look like photoshopped models?
 

Giggly

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See the thing is, if subjective opinion is what you value most, then I can't even think of one female celebrity/public figure who EVERYONE thinks is perfect body-wise. There are always people who will think she is either "too fat" or "too skinny". And because subjective opinion varies so much, you should surround yourself with people who think of your body in the way you want it to be thought of (positive-they exist!), and pretty much write-off/ignore those who think you are "too fat/skinny". The haters opinion don't matter. When I saw your picture, I thought this thread was a joke because I don't see anything even remotely close to being heavily obese, and if what you say about your parents is true, then your parents are part of the opinion group you need to write off.

Which brings me to the issue of BMI. I don't know much about BMI, but it's supposedly the objective medical measure of body weight. Like I said, people have all sorts of opinions, and BMI won't always match up with people's subjective opinions of what is physically healthy or physically attractive looking, but if you are at all health-conscious, BMI would be a good place to start. I personally dislike the BMI chart, because some of what it considers to be under-or overweight is still very VERY attractive or aesthetically appealing to me. :yes:

So, hmm. I think the most important thing is to be happy with your own weight/look, whatever measure you use.
 

Queen Kat

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To be honest I'm more focussed on my proportions than on my exact weight. Like I said, three years ago I lost a lot of weight (my family just didn't stop nagging) and when I was finally ready, my proportions were all messed up. Right now I have a waist-hip ratio of 0.68 and back than it was around 0.75. That's way more important to me than having a belly (which is always the same with me and it's so easy to cover up anyway). I even feel more confident about the way I look than when I lost all that weight. Back then I hated the way I looked when I was fitting clothes, now I love fitting clothes again. But I think I'm about to reach my limits when it comes to proportions (or I really need to gain more weight, because in my case everything goes to the tright places, but I need to make sure I never have to shop at a plus size shop because those clothes are UGLY!).
 

Giggly

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Well, I think your proportions look fine. You look like a woman with some curves and that's what I think is most attractive on women. Just my opinion.
 

Queen Kat

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Aaaaand he said it again. "I think you have thyroid problems because your fat in an ugly way." Then I asked him what he wanted me to look like. He didn't explain it, he just threw a tantrum. So I have to eat even less? And I am already constantly starving!
 
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