My ass ran away :(

[BerberElla]

No seriously it did.

I woke up one morning a few weeks ago, and it wasn't attached to my rear anymore, it had left me.

I think it's still mad at me for introducing it to backdoor shenanigans, but I thought we had moved beyond that, made up as you do.

=============================================


ok, on a more serious note, I get that I am over 30, my body is changing, certain things won't have their same perkiness, but please tell me I can get my ass back somehow?

At 33 is it too late to look at exercise as way to keep your body looking nice?

Or is it more realistic to accept that it's gone, never to return again?

 

[Laurie]

I don't have an answer but I love you!

 

[BerberElla]

I don't have an answer but I love you!

Thanks, my flat assed self needed to hear she was still loved inspite of her new loss lol.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

No seriously it did.

I woke up one morning a few weeks ago, and it wasn't attached to my rear anymore, it had left me.

I think it's still mad at me for introducing it to backdoor shenanigans, but I thought we had moved beyond that, made up as you do.

See what those evil pornographic picture shows will lead to? The Devil himself fornicates in your derriere.

=============================================


ok, on a more serious note, I get that I am over 30, my body is changing, certain things won't have their same perkiness, but please tell me I can get my ass back somehow?

At 33 is it too late to look at exercise as way to keep your body looking nice?

Or is it more realistic to accept that it's gone, never to return again?

never too late, my friend. It's one of the main reasons I force myself to run every other day. Oh, and to stay healthy too.

 

[Lux]

Do squats. Act as if you are sitting down in a chair. The deeper you go the more you will build and tone. As you do the squats, don't let your knees overextend your ankle. And if you want to get the tone all the way your leg, do one legged squats. They work balance, butt, calf's, and thighs. Squats can save your ass!

 

[Nonsensical]

Yeah, well at least your ass probably isn't cracked..

(buh-dum chhh?)

 

[BerberElla]

See what those evil pornographic films will lead to? The Devil himself fornicates in your derriere.

I have blasphemed and now I am being punished, if my ass would only come back I promise never to sin that way again. *fingers crossed*

never too late, my friend. It's one of the main reasons I force myself to run every other day. Oh, and to stay healthy too.

I tried running once, the police officer caught up with me though so I didn't get very far.

Ok, seriously now lol I did try running once, but I didn't enjoy it. Would bike riding give me the same benefits? as I do love bike riding, although I haven't done it since autumn last year.

Do squats. Act as if you are sitting down in a chair. The deeper you go the more you will build and tone. As you do the squats, don't let your knees overextend your ankle. And if you want to get the tone all the way your leg, do one legged squats. They work balance, butt, calf's, and thighs. Squats can save your ass!

I had one of those huge ball things, and used to lean backway against the wall with it, and roll down and then up, but the ball popped lol and my last squat attempts were undignified in their ending...........on the floor.

Thanks, I will try again.

A friend of mine also recommends bum shuffles, basically walking across the floor on your bottom, shuffle shuffle forward.

Has anybody else ever heard of this method?

Yeah, well at least your ass probably isn't cracked..

(buh-dum chhh?)

 

[Lux]

A friend of mine also recommends bum shuffles, basically walking across the floor on your bottom, shuffle shuffle forward.

Has anybody else ever heard of this method?

That sounds painful...

You can also do what I call mountain climbers and skiers. With mountain climbers you get into this position, except stretch your body out a bit more

Then, as fast as you can "climb." One foot in front of the other.

With skiers you start out with your torso slightly forward and bent a bit at the waist. Now diagonally take a leg (behind you, you are working backwards) and cross your mid-line. Repeat with the other leg. As you get comfortable with the movement, pick up speed. Those are both also cardio, so start out slowly if you're not used to it. I hope this helps .

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

somehow, this seems more apropos for you.........

Do squats. Act as if you are sitting down in a chair on a man. The deeper you go the more you will build and tone. As you do the squats, don't let your his knees overextend your ankle. And if you want to get the tone all the way up your leg, do one legged squats!! They work balance, butt, calf's, and thighs. Squats can save your ass! in more ways than one, barberella.

I have blasphemed and now I am being punished, if my ass would only come back I promise never to sin that way again. *fingers crossed*

Repent. There is no hope for you.

 

[BerberElla]

That sounds painful...

Looks quite easy when she showed me, she shuffled across the floor to get the remote and then shuffled back as a way to show me how to incorporate it into my sort of lazy life. She has a great tush.

You can also do what I call mountain climbers and skiers. With mountain climbers you get into this position, except stretch your body out a bit more

Then, as fast as you can "climb." One foot in front of the other.

With skiers you start out with your torso slightly forward and bent a bit at the waist. Now diagonally take a leg (behind you, you are working backwards) and cross your mid-line. Repeat with the other leg. As you get comfortable with the movement, pick up speed. Those are both also cardio, so start out slowly if you're not used to it. I hope this helps .

Having trouble visualising the second suggestion, am I still starting out almost in the same position as the climber one?

 

[BerberElla]

somehow, this seems more apropos for you.........





Repent. There is no hope for you.

That actually made it easier to understand. Oh dear, there really is no hope for me.

New book idea for someone, exercise explained sexually.

 

[miss fortune]

my sis took up hiking and yoga to get her ass back after she lost so much weight that she bruised what little of it was left by sitting it worked, she has as much of an ass as a stick skinny girl can have!

I'm personally glad that a nice sized ass is the trend, as the natural, genetic size for mine seems to hover around what is trendy

 

[Halla74]

Berbsy,

I second the recommendation of squats, as they do recruit the glutes significantly.

I have a "bubble butt" because of squats, and so does Mrs. Halla, and she is 36 29.

The other glute exercise, and overall leg exercise, bar none, is the lunge.

Lunges with a barbell on a Smith machine is a great way to start and get the motion down without risking falling or other embarassment.

If you don't have access to a gym, you can still do "walking lunges" simply by holding a dumbbell in each hand (5-10 pounds will do for starters) and walk out 25 steps, and then back 25 steps. Do that 4 times and your ass will be growing into bubble-hood in no time.

 

[Lux]

Having trouble visualising the second suggestion, am I still starting out almost in the same position as the climber one?

You're probably having trouble because I said "skier" when I meant "skater" sorry. Here is a pic that may help.

 

[Halla74]

You're probably having trouble because I said "skier" when I meant "skater" sorry. Here is a pic that may help.

Female speed skaters have righteous asses.

Berbsy, if you do speed skating for a few years, not only will your hiney return to its glorious default state, but you will also be poised to join a roller derby team, and kick some serious arse. umpyouup:

 

[BlueSprout]

At 33 is it too late to look at exercise as way to keep your body looking nice?

Shhhh!! You're scaring the 20-somethings. Especially me.

I have blasphemed and now I am being punished, if my ass would only come back I promise never to sin that way again. *fingers crossed*

Do daily squats as acts of contritition. Seek reconciliation with the Gym.

 

[Totenkindly]

I'm sorry, every time I see this thread in the list I want to finish the title by saying "... with the spoon."

 

[Biaxident]

Female speed skaters have righteous asses.

Berbsy, if you do speed skating for a few years, not only will your hiney return to its glorious default state, but you will also be poised to join a roller derby team, and kick some serious arse. umpyouup:

That's because the movements are substantially similar to Lunges.

 

[BerberElla]

my sis took up hiking and yoga to get her ass back after she lost so much weight that she bruised what little of it was left by sitting it worked, she has as much of an ass as a stick skinny girl can have!

I'm personally glad that a nice sized ass is the trend, as the natural, genetic size for mine seems to hover around what is trendy

I think that's partly the case here, and not "just" my age, all this yo yo dieting appears to have an awful downside.

Berbsy,

I second the recommendation of squats, as they do recruit the glutes significantly.

I have a "bubble butt" because of squats, and so does Mrs. Halla, and she is 36 29.

The other glute exercise, and overall leg exercise, bar none, is the lunge.

Lunges with a barbell on a Smith machine is a great way to start and get the motion down without risking falling or other embarassment.

If you don't have access to a gym, you can still do "walking lunges" simply by holding a dumbbell in each hand (5-10 pounds will do for starters) and walk out 25 steps, and then back 25 steps. Do that 4 times and your ass will be growing into bubble-hood in no time.

Ok, this sounds doable, thanks Halla.

You're probably having trouble because I said "skier" when I meant "skater" sorry. Here is a pic that may help.

<snip>

Lol this helps alot, now I have an idea about the movements you are recommending.

 

[BerberElla]

Female speed skaters have righteous asses.

Berbsy, if you do speed skating for a few years, not only will your hiney return to its glorious default state, but you will also be poised to join a roller derby team, and kick some serious arse. umpyouup:

Haha I wonder if they do speed skating or something similar near by, that looks like fun too.

Shhhh!! You're scaring the 20-somethings. Especially me.



Do daily squats as acts of contritition. Seek reconciliation with the Gym.

Never fear the truth, I ignored it, and my ass left me for neglect.

I would do the gym thing again, I quit last time as I felt uncomfortable with the guys who obviously only go there to pick up women, hitting on me whilst I'm all sweaty and messy and wanting to be left alone lol.

Maybe there is an all girls gym local.

I'm sorry, every time I see this thread in the list I want to finish the title by saying "... with the spoon."

Then our minds think somewhat the same, since it took all of my willpower not to title this thread with that ending too.