User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 20 of 20

  1. #11
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Socionics
    ENFp None
    Posts
    186

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    what is it with men letting everything fall apart healthwise until it's a crisis?

    I realize not all men do this, but I've know quite a few who do this I can think of 3 off the top of my head: my dad, my friend's dad, and her boyfriend
    Toxic genderisms. Either that or being afraid of doctors.

  2. #12
    Noncompliant Yuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Socionics
    Duno None
    Posts
    5,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    A manifestation of a form of acceptable stupidity let rampage unhampered 'til it's too late.

    Starting from 'toughen up and don't cry' ending in 'death by shrugging off bullet wound in careless game of Russian roulette'
    Yep, I am not male but I am in this way, I think I am worse than most.

    Really, I view most men as “ total pussies” when the go on about “ men aren’t allowed to cry” and I think ” Bitch pls, you have no idea.”

    I know exactly where it came from and why but it’s a lot of unpacking and I don’t feel like doin* it here.
    “ Rise up and raise the iron roof off
    Now, Rise up and riot 'til the bomb drops
    Now, Rise up the time is right to sound off, so
    Rise with me, rise with me, rise with me (RISE UP!)”
    Likes prplchknz liked this post

  3. #13
    Senior Member Officer Ed Powell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    954 sx/sp
    Socionics
    TRSH None
    Posts
    15,774

    Default

    Attention Required!

    http://scholar.harvard.edu/files/gla..._vengeance.pdf

    Intrasexual Competition Shapes Men’s Anti-Utilitarian Moral Decisions | SpringerLink

    Attention Required!

    Be Worried About Boys, Especially Baby Boys | Psychology Today



    We train men to be heroism conscious rather than health conscious. Following from that, it is less heroic to focus on their personal health than it is to focus on others' health. I think this is likely a holdover from our early human ancestors. Living on the edge of survival and oblivion, it made sense to put greater importance on the survival of women and the young. Whereas roles filled by males in those times would've been much easier to fill quickly when males grew sick or died.

    Class and income likely also play a part. Probably won't see as many wealthy men ignoring their health. In a poor household, it probably makes more sense to focus limited financial resources on children and wives' healthcare needs. Also the prolonged stress of taking care of a poor family is going to take a great toll on either parent's health, but especially the primary earner.
    Last edited by Officer Ed Powell; 02-18-2020 at 11:54 AM.
    chaotic good.

    fuck around and find out.
    Likes prplchknz liked this post

  4. #14
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,963

    Default

    As others have said- our society discourages men to expose vulnerabilities, be they emotional or physical. Seeking help, even in the form of legitimate medical intervention, is considered weak.

    I have male friends that do this. I think it pays to actually tell them, it’s okay to get checked out. Waiting til it reaches critical mass is stupid.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.
    Likes prplchknz liked this post

  5. #15
    Vulnera Sanentur Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    24,644

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    Yep, I am not male but I am in this way, I think I am worse than most.

    Really, I view most men as “ total pussies” when the go on about “ men aren’t allowed to cry” and I think ” Bitch pls, you have no idea.”

    I know exactly where it came from and why but it’s a lot of unpacking and I don’t feel like doin* it here.
    Same here, and I really don't know where it came from, other than just some innate tendency. I'm not too bad about addressing physical needs, but the rest are usually not even on the radar.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #16
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Socionics
    ENFp None
    Posts
    186

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    Yep, I am not male but I am in this way, I think I am worse than most.

    Really, I view most men as “ total pussies” when the go on about “ men aren’t allowed to cry” and I think ” Bitch pls, you have no idea.”

    I know exactly where it came from and why but it’s a lot of unpacking and I don’t feel like doin* it here.
    It may be a case of ExTJs being ExTJs. My mother also seems to have somewhat but she seems to be an ISFJ. I guess it's a Judger thing.

  7. #17
    another world's science Earl Grey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    Yep, I am not male but I am in this way, I think I am worse than most.

    Really, I view most men as “ total pussies” when the go on about “ men aren’t allowed to cry” and I think ” Bitch pls, you have no idea.”

    I know exactly where it came from and why but it’s a lot of unpacking and I don’t feel like doin* it here.
    That's a different issue, on the level of the individual themselves. A problem however is the taking away of options for those who want to do otherwise (by forcing people into a narrow box of a form of 'acceptable masculinity') instead of using it as a 'free to wallow' card- sides, folks who want to do the latter will do it regardless, just perhaps in quieter and more insidious ways.

    Something a bit funny and interesting, though. I've always hated these kinds of 'gender roles' even before I knew of the term, ever since I was a child. I hated being told what to do or how to do it and being told off for, for example, liking things that were 'feminine', or displaying fear. My counter for that is always this, and it turns the argument back on the person and really only makes sense- and I wonder HOW on earth people don't realize this? That if you really want me to be masculine, traits of being so include being independent and having a say in how you conduct your business without cowing into pressure. That is exactly what I am doing. Now leave me and my baking project alone before I brutalize you with a moldy baguette.
    風 の 神
    Do you really think your prayers will be answered?
    Likes The Cat, Luminous liked this post

  8. #18
    Noncompliant Yuu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8w7
    Socionics
    Duno None
    Posts
    5,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Grey View Post
    That's a different issue, on the level of the individual themselves. A problem however is the taking away of options for those who want to do otherwise (by forcing people into a narrow box of a form of 'acceptable masculinity') instead of using it as a 'free to wallow' card- sides, folks who want to do the latter will do it regardless, just perhaps in quieter and more insidious ways.

    Something a bit funny and interesting, though. I've always hated these kinds of 'gender roles' even before I knew of the term, ever since I was a child. I hated being told what to do or how to do it and being told off for, for example, liking things that were 'feminine', or displaying fear. My counter for that is always this, and it turns the argument back on the person and really only makes sense- and I wonder HOW on earth people don't realize this? That if you really want me to be masculine, traits of being so include being independent and having a say in how you conduct your business without cowing into pressure. That is exactly what I am doing. Now leave me and my baking project alone before I brutalize you with a moldy baguette.
    It’s a choice if you’re female but not male? No, it can still be forced on you without it being gender-based.

    I’ve had enough of roles in general. I’ve always gotten mixed messages, pulled this way and that depending on which label was being applied.
    “ I don’t care if this medicine/treatment makes you sick as hell/hurts. Fucking deal with it and no crying.” and on the other end “ Here’s a pink diary. You should write some brave poetry about it.”
    No, no. I don’t want to do either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Indigo Rodent View Post
    It may be a case of ExTJs being ExTJs. My mother also seems to have somewhat but she seems to be an ISFJ. I guess it's a Judger thing.
    No, it has nothing at all to do with me being an ENTJ.


    I’m sure it’s the area and particular demographic of men that I know, but honestly, I have known many more sensitive and emotional men that women. ( and spare me that “ not all men” crap. I am aware. It’s why I’ve used multiple qualifiers.

    Fun fact: whining about not being allowed to whine is whining.
    “ Rise up and raise the iron roof off
    Now, Rise up and riot 'til the bomb drops
    Now, Rise up the time is right to sound off, so
    Rise with me, rise with me, rise with me (RISE UP!)”

  9. #19
    another world's science Earl Grey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    3,830

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    It’s a choice if you’re female but not male? No, it can still be forced on you without it being gender-based.
    No, I said nothing of the sort. I did say individuals in general, but it seems to be more widely forced on one gender over the other.


    I’ve had enough of roles in general. I’ve always gotten mixed messages, pulled this way and that depending on which label was being applied.
    “ I don’t care if this medicine/treatment makes you sick as hell/hurts. Fucking deal with it and no crying.” and on the other end “ Here’s a pink diary. You should write some brave poetry about it.”
    No, no. I don’t want to do either.
    A remedy for this is filtering things without regard to gender, agreeing only if it suits you, and works for you. I'd hate being encouraged to cry, but that's just who I am as a person, not because I am male- the key is if I am 'allowed' to it assumes a level of respect and regard for me and my comfort and autonomy as a person, whereas if I am not allowed it assumes otherwise, an irritating degree of presumptuous control and even disrespect. I'd prefer being treated with the former than the latter, even if I may not listen or take up the offer.

    Personally, I wouldn't advise, or force anyone to cry, say, if they don't want to- man or woman. I would however NOT tell them to just suck it up, because serious illnesses and injuries should be taken seriously regardless of what kind of genitals you have.
    風 の 神
    Do you really think your prayers will be answered?
    Likes Luminous liked this post

  10. #20
    somnium tenebris Powehi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    496 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,969

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    Yep, I am not male but I am in this way, I think I am worse than most.

    Really, I view most men as “ total pussies” when the go on about “ men aren’t allowed to cry” and I think ” Bitch pls, you have no idea.”

    I know exactly where it came from and why but it’s a lot of unpacking and I don’t feel like doin* it here.
    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Same here, and I really don't know where it came from, other than just some innate tendency. I'm not too bad about addressing physical needs, but the rest are usually not even on the radar.
    I have an inclination this way (probably different in application and specifics to both of the above quotes) and it is because I grew up with a single mother, no father figure, and my brother had some intense vulnerabilities that caused concern and support. Also we were poor and didn't have medical insurance, so just dealing with stuff is how I grew up. I've ended up in relationships with men who have all been more fragile physically. I tolerate a lot of pain and it's hard to ask for help - partly because there are always consequences I don't like. Examples like usually moving my stuff alone, not going to the doctor when bitten by a black widow with painful toxin experience, not insisting on having pain diagnosed, doing the heavy lifting when others won't, and some other things not worth sharing here.

    For me it isn't society pressuring me to be tough, but more not trusting other people, expecting dismissal, realizing it's just simpler to do it myself, and having shit insurance that will cost me a lot of lab fees. My mother has intense medication and doctor aversion, and I haven't thought through how that affects me, but I think it does.
    bunny omi


    "Powehi means “the adorned fathomless dark creation” or “embellished dark source of unending creation” and comes from the Kumulipo, an 18th century Hawaiian creation chant. A Hawaiian name given to the very first scientific confirmation of a black hole."


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO