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  1. #1
    TRASH Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    Default How do you deal with feeling anger?

    I heard that different types deal with anger differently. So how do you cope with the feeling of anger?

    I do not get angry very often, but I also hate being angry. I ignore the emotion, but some things trigger that response in me if you know where to push. I try to remain composed, and disengage and ignore the source of my anger. But sometimes I sit there and mull over that person's flaws in my head, and sometimes I verbally lash out. I am almost never pushed to a state of physical anger (at least in like 15 years). I have a good control over my emotions.
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    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Cat's Avatar
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    I'm always angry. For a long time I tried to fight it, suppress it. Deny it. It is a burning fire that both fuels and sustains me. I've learned to channel it creatively to a fair extent. But I've found that since I am shackled to a beast, I can commune with it, I don't have to let it hurt others. I don't have to suppress or deny it. I can use it to push me when I need it to, but I do need a constructive creative outlet for it.
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  3. #3
    Can't be satisfied. Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    Everything irritates me. I'm the person who will get expressively angry at an object for not doing what I want it to do. Drivers make me mad. Things not meeting my expectations can make me mad.

    I do try to control my anger in certain situations to avoid consequence, but I'm not necessarily very good at it. It can take a substantial amount of effort to hold everything in, and people I get really comfortable with/am around regularly will unfortunately be exposed to outbursts of irritation and anger from me. Sometimes I feel embarrassed/sheepish afterward because of my lack of self-control and I just get quiet or broody.
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    Repress it, repress it, repress it, fight against externalizing it, maybe externalize it maybe not, feel bad for having to fight against externalizing it or feel worse for actually externalizibg it, internalize it, internalize it, internalize it
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  6. #6
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    I have always thought of anger as my friend. It is a motivating emotion for me. I will get pissed about something and take action. There are some negative sides to it. It results in my confronting things and being extremely direct. The tone in my voice can be upsetting to some people that avoid conflict -i.e., harsh to the point of abrasiveness. I can be irritated by small things as well like when my computer just crashed 30 minutes ago and I swore at it. I think the situations where I get irritated are less these days - like when I'm driving, I don't get mad at other drivers as much as I used to when they drive poorly, cut me off, etc. One thing is for sure. I don't believe in bottling it up. Better to express it and get over it. I guess I can think of a good example. There is a person at work that was yelling at my team, criticizing them, sending emails with all capital letters - when my team had been busting their ass on a project for a year and half at her client doing great work. She was upset about something which is fair but the way she was expressing it was extremely unprofessional and she kept on with this obnoxious behavior for several weeks. I tried to make excuses for her, call her and talk things through, try and tone the situation down, etc. I finally hit a point where my patience wore thin and I told her though everyone agreed with most of what she was saying, her constant overreactions were demoralizing to the entire team. Then I said I personally was fed up with it and walked away from supporting her. If she apologizes after the break, I'd work with her again, but she needed to know that her behavior was unacceptable and that I wasn't going to put up with it any longer (for me or my team).

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    Moderator Yuurei's Avatar
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    Eh, I just repress it. What’s the wirst that could happen?
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."
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  8. #8
    TRASH Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    Eh, I just repress it. What’s the wirst that could happen?
    Homicide?

  9. #9
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I direct it at the person I'm angry with or address the situation I'm angry with or vent at something but I don't repress it ever. I use to, I learned in therapy how bad of an idea that is but it's also not as socially expectable to show anger as a woman. Feel free to disagree with that but unless you're a woman, you have no idea.

    I also feel anger is a prime motivator - I've always said I keep it in my pocket like spare change so it's there to motivate when I need it. The plus side is as I've gotten older, the easier it is to know which hills are worth dying on and which are not. So little things are less likely to get any reaction from me, angry or otherwise.
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  10. #10
    Cynical Existentialist Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Exolvuntur View Post
    I heard that different types deal with anger differently. So how do you cope with the feeling of anger?

    I do not get angry very often, but I also hate being angry. I ignore the emotion, but some things trigger that response in me if you know where to push. I try to remain composed, and disengage and ignore the source of my anger. But sometimes I sit there and mull over that person's flaws in my head, and sometimes I verbally lash out. I am almost never pushed to a state of physical anger (at least in like 15 years). I have a good control over my emotions.
    Question, by 'get angry' do you mean feel angry, or express anger?
    Because in the rest of your post you mention dealing with the existing feeling of anger, just that you do not show it.

    (Also, is verbally lashing out not a physical show of anger?)
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