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Why are millennials so miserable?

Lark

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Even if it's the case that tomorrow is indeed worse than today, it's foolish to adopt that attitude preemptively- particularly since doing so all but guarantees it on the individual level, when it is in fact not guaranteed at all.

Conversely its part of the "smile or die" philosophy to presume the best, which I think is sickening to be honest, I'm glad that authors like Cederstrom have so ably critiqued the whole idea.

There's no need to go full apocalypse like a lot of people influenced by tele-evangelism and the like do but equally the inability to think critically about anything without being labelled negative, depressive, faulty in your thinking is a problem. Particularly since that same critical evaluation of things have been a major driver of the western world for so long and arguably what made it great in the first place.
 

anticlimatic

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Conversely its part of the "smile or die" philosophy to presume the best, which I think is sickening to be honest, I'm glad that authors like Cederstrom have so ably critiqued the whole idea. There's no need to go full apocalypse like a lot of people influenced by tele-evangelism and the like do but equally the inability to think critically about anything without being labelled negative, depressive, faulty in your thinking is a problem. Particularly since that same critical evaluation of things have been a major driver of the western world for so long and arguably what made it great in the first place.
I think critical thinking is great on tactical matters, but on big strategic things like attitude and life orientation optimism is always the way to go. The former has identifiable working parts that can be vetted, but the later is essentially all luck and rolling odds that can only be buffed by positive thinking.
 

Lark

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I think critical thinking is great on tactical matters, but on big strategic things like attitude and life orientation optimism is always the way to go. The former has identifiable working parts that can be vetted, but the later is essentially all luck and rolling odds that can only be buffed by positive thinking.

I disagree.

Or at least I tend to believe that when positive conditions prevail no one has to be encouraged to think positively. It can be alright to suggest to people that they may need to take heart in times of trouble. However, to suggest that their times of trouble could be permanent or as long and enduring, as seems to have become the case, and their naturally feeling unhappy about that is a personal flaw or failing is a mistake.
 

Virtual ghost

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I think critical thinking is great on tactical matters, but on big strategic things like attitude and life orientation optimism is always the way to go. The former has identifiable working parts that can be vetted, but the later is essentially all luck and rolling odds that can only be buffed by positive thinking.


If you are typical INTP then this is completely true. However if you are the bossy person that runs the whole system and whose decisions are what benefits people even if they see it as pure luck then the whole world looks a little bit differently. Most stuff achieved in this world don't have too much to do with luck.
 

hurl3y4456

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For each person, there is a maximum level of success that can be attained. Each person has a unique threshold that is heavily dependent on mindset (optimism, confidence, drive, luck, exc). Luck is dependent on the "butterfly effect," however, the chances of being lucky increases with optimism. Optimism, in general, allows one to tackle more feats (high energy, motivation) and, it is inherently related to confidence. It's analogous to giving a speech...Maximum performance will occur if you limit anxiety to a minimum....So, by negating optimism, we have pessimism, which inhibits our ability to heal and clouds our mind.....Thus, driving optimal performance out the window. Now, think about how many people could be effected if one person decides to be optimistic....it may spread like the plague and hence, project humanity in the correct direction....

Constructive criticism is always good as a wake up call/shock, which permits one to redirect their lifestyle accordingly. There will be some who are at the bottom of the barrel, yet if they react strongly to the stressor's to induce a downward spiral, then their own mindset may become blind. In that case, those who exhibit optimism will be able to pull them out of the rut.
 

Mayflower

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I'm technically a millennial (92), but I would say that the mindset is usually of those born 2000-.

As for why we are "miserable", I don't think we are, just unmotivated. I mean, there's really nothing to accomplish or something to power through (no overarching conflicts, no global events, etc). Yeah, we have the drive to make things better for ourselves, but that's it. We're probably the most individualistic generation so far (people might be more so down the line), and our focus is on "us and ours (myself and friends)" There's not really a pressure to go out of one's way to accomplish something just for the sake of it (if it's not in you already). If my life is fine, why push?(a bit enneagram 9) Is that a bad thing in itself, no, but it does explain what I see. Generalized example incoming, I.e, Career field. This applies to me as well, but find that we, a bit more than those in the past, seek a career that is fun, interesting, and fulfilling, rather than something that just pays the bills. I think that's where things are right now, young people that have yet to find their niche and settle on an just substantial living. We want an imperfect lifestyle (a decent, "fulfilling" life) rather than chasing some arbitrary goal points.
 

Cellmold

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I disagree.

Or at least I tend to believe that when positive conditions prevail no one has to be encouraged to think positively. It can be alright to suggest to people that they may need to take heart in times of trouble. However, to suggest that their times of trouble could be permanent or as long and enduring, as seems to have become the case, and their naturally feeling unhappy about that is a personal flaw or failing is a mistake.

It's one of those conundrums concerning the nature of attention and ignorance. For example it's a common maxim that being wary, alert and vigilant of how others, be it the state, corrupt business or political manipulators etc, can influence and control others in various ways to affect an outcome that may not be for the benefit of others, is a wise position to cultivate.

It may even extend to just other people in general, though an over-extention risks turning into blind paranoia.
However its also impossible for us to be aware of all aspects at all times; our brains just simply can't cope with the sheer amount and complexity of information available and so there is a form of ignorance involved here that allows us to cope and function under those conditions.

To put it another way, I would make a distinction between blind optimism that buries its head in the sand out of wilful ignorance that wants others to do the same, and a form of optimism that involves the gumption to recognise what an individual can work towards and where solution can be found. Some may just call this realism, though.

This is of course dependent on the conditions and context involved. Sometimes despair is understandable.

There's also the matter of "jam tomorrow" and the way a person, ignorant of a clearer picture, might go further than others, being fueled by pure hope.
 

Doctor Cringelord

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I'm not dismissing or ignoring societal factors but a lot of it seems to be due to mindset more than circumstances. I'm not saying things are rosy now, but in many ways they're better than they were 60-70 years ago when the US was effectively an apartheid state and one's mobility in society was very limited to their inborn social status (yes, that is still a reality to some degree, but less so than it used to be). We always have a tendency to romanticize the past, remembering a dioramic impression of society and life that is rarely as accurate as we think. Millennials' and X'ers' parents and grandparents romanticized the 1950s, not unlike the way some younger people today are beginning to romanticize the 1980s and 1990s as a "simpler" time.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I think anxiety has been wratcheted up for the whole society, but younger people may be more impressionable.

I don't like being down on the younger generation though. I think they need a little boost to have some hope.
 

Jaguar

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Maximum performance will occur if you limit anxiety to a minimum....So, by negating optimism, we have pessimism



Anxiety can enhance performance. So can anger. So can pain. So can fear. So can joy. So can passion. So can confidence. Everyone is different.
Negating optimism doesn't yield pessimism. That claim is as extreme—and illogical—as "negating love yields hate" or "negating beauty yields ugliness."
 

ceecee

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I think anxiety has been wratcheted up for the whole society, but younger people may be more impressionable.

I don't like being down on the younger generation though. I think they need a little boost to have some hope.

The question I like to pose to people (mostly Boomers) that rail on and on about the condition of the world is - My oldest child graduated from HS in 2008. You tell me if his future outlook has improved since then. I either get an extremely simplified and cliché laden huff of reactionary explanation. Or a shrug and #igotminefuckyou. It isn't really relevant what the condition of my kids' present or future actually is but not a single one of them ever bothered to ask either.
 

hurl3y4456

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Anxiety can enhance performance. So can anger. So can pain. So can fear. So can joy. So can passion. So can confidence. Everyone is different.
Negating optimism doesn't yield pessimism. That claim is as extreme—and illogical—as "negating love yields hate" or "negating beauty yields ugliness."

I was using the negation in a Mathematical sense....Optimism = + and pessimism = -...So taking the negation yields "not positive," which implies neutral is still an option...So, yes I was incorrect here with the assumption. Also, yes some anxiety can facilitate performance but it must be kept within a minimum range, not the absolute minimum....That's the point I was trying to make but it was unclear in the way I worded it. I was trying to bridge the relation to say pessimism must be dampened (not completely) to increase likelihood of fulfilment, so it's a mindset issue here.
 

Yuurei

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Look up the word.

...the irony.

Anxiety can enhance performance. So can anger. So can pain. So can fear. So can joy. So can passion. So can confidence. Everyone is different.
Negating optimism doesn't yield pessimism. That claim is as extreme—and illogical—as "negating love yields hate" or "negating beauty yields ugliness."

Anger is a great motivator for me. My husband says that no matter how much I try to hide it, he can tell when I am angry because I will get a weeks worth of impossible feats done in a day.

It's usually in a fed up, "If you want something done you need to do it yourself" sort of context.

I've read it's common with 8's.
 

Betty Blue

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Interesting video.

Are there any millennials here who do not fit the bill as he describes them (beginning around the 5:00 mark)? If so, in which way?

Bitterly disappointed in this vid. Thought it might be interesting and started to watch it with an open mind however I got to around 16 minutes in and decided not to proceed with listening to his conservative victim blaming bigoted rant.

I disagree almost wholeheartedly with his reasoning.

I do have some genuine claims for why millennials may be so unhappy, some areas he touched on though I'm coming at them from a different angle.

Probably the biggest issue I have with the vid is he seems to (mostly) want to blame the individuals whereas I would lay a large portion of blame at the door of the systems and corps which suppress the masses financially.

There is a complex set of intricate reasons which wax and wane that impact how unhappy millennials are. I will set out some basic claims, not to be confused with a solid argument.

One of the strongest main claims for millennials being unhappy is the vast increase in wealth disparity. The US has the largest in western countries, The Uk is fast catching up. This gives many people less hope for future generations. Millennials are probably more acutely aware of this than previous generations.

I'd also argue that millennials are actually more socially intelligent/aware than previous generations, meaning they have the ability to see the hopelessness more powerfully in relation to themselves.

The rise of consumerism, societal pressures and expectations also plays a part. People are expected to buy more, be happier, look better, build careers faster and achieve higher results if they want to 'suceed' in the eyes of society, all while pretending they are fulfilled and happy. I read a reference to a study (apologies for not citing the source as I don't remember it) in a book about habits showing that while people report to be happier than in previous times, the reasons for this are because people now feel they have to say they are happy even while they are not, confidence and happiness are expected if you want to succeed.

The rise in the over medication of society I do agree with, and I do think that people are less happy and that the medications are not working. But we need to find other solutions, except in extreme cases. One way might be to have classes starting from early education (nursery) in emotional wellbeing.

The spending of western countries goes into the wrong things, e.g spending on prisons rather than education. This is completely the wrong way round. An appropriate expression is 'Spend on the nurseries, save on the prisons'

Also I disagree with the idea that millennials are confused concerning gender identity. I think we are evolving around gender, and hate the right wing attacks on this, so much hate. I think the hate also has an effect on happiness.

Millenials are social media savvy. They are bombarded with commercials, misinformation and propaganda in the west. You only have to view trumps twitter feed to understand this, and this is the person running (or at least the puppet) the US. A good example of this is the spokesperson saying that the trump election had the highest turnout of people turning up to support Trump EVER seen in an election. The media questioned this as they had the video evidence and statistics to prove it was false. When presented to the spokesperson the spokesperson said something along the lines of, depends on which truth you mean. I think my point here is that these millennials feel so powerless and hopeless in all of this.

Also the role of social media. Everyone has to look amazing all the time, through a screen or pic. Millenials have less human contact, eye contact than previous generations. It has helped a lot of people who might otherwise have had zero or close to zero contact but it has also impacted those who would usually have face to face contact, reducing this. Human touch is a de stressor (in the right context) e.g a hug from a friend. A hug emoji, does not quite cut the mustard as a replacement.

I mean I really could go on but will stop here...

main points

Less trust in govt (further right wing govt)
More hatred
Financial instability
Greater wealth disparity
Less human to human contact
Rise of consumerism
Greater societal expectations
Less opportunities
More penalties, greater risk of imprisonment
Less spent on education
Greater awareness of worlds ills (esp own govts) through social media
 

Tellenbach

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Studies of depression/anxiety with bottom-rung bureaucrats in the UK found that people who felt they didn't have any control over their lives were miserable. If you felt that your opinion didn't matter or that your work didn't matter, you were unhappy and much more likely to kill yourself.

The solution is greater opportunity, less government, and lower taxes. People who live in less regulated nations tend to be happier and in the USA, this manifested itself in the "Roaring Twenties" under the presidency of Calvin Coolidge; people were literally giddy during that period because people had more opportunity with fewer government regulations and lower taxes; unemployment was at 1.4% under Coolidge.

A similar period of ecstacy occured in the fabuluous 80s under Reagan; you see it reflected in the happy music and movies of the period. We are just 2 years into the Trump presidency and we're already seeing a renewal in optimism in small businesses and consumers. Millenials suffered greatly under Obama; now they're finally getting the opportunities that other generations enjoyed.

Do you suppose Cyndi Lauper would've written "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" if she were a millenial instead of a Gen-Xer? I don't; I think she would've written "Girls Just Wanna Slash Their Wrists" instead. :D
 

anticlimatic

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Probably the biggest issue I have with the vid is he seems to (mostly) want to blame the individuals whereas I would lay a large portion of blame at the door of the systems and corps which suppress the masses financially.

He may be orienting his advice from an internal locus of control angle, whereas blaming external forces contributes to an external locus of control. Various studies have shown time and time again that an internal locus of control leads to significantly more happiness than an external one. I'd argue that he doesn't 'want' to blame the individuals, but rather he is suggesting that if they blamed themselves more- not less- they would be better on their way towards solving their own problems. The science backs this 100%, and it counters just about every one of your points in a broader context.
 
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