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Moods

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
I learned about healthy detachment and put it to use. If you aren't interested in that you'll have to figure out what works for you.

:)

..and it's noticeable. You and heart almost seem like NTs in the political/current events/philosophy threads.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
In a perfect world, you are right.
But this is not a perfect world.

I don’t understand what impact imperfection has, I’m talking about 100% internal reaction to an external situation. It’s a choice.

I am in control and responsible for how I behave, but as far as my feeling come and go, I don't have control over them. I can control them by keeping them in, but that is a temporary fix and not healthy over long periods. Do you really control your feelings? I might want to learn that.

Nope, suppression isn't healthy, that's not what I mean. My view is our thoughts determine our feelings which in turn determine our actions, changing our thoughts when a situation arises that we disagree with and choosing an alternative feeling to anger/fear/etc is how we take responsibility for our negative moods. Others can make me do things I don't want to but they will never control my thoughts or feelings about it. It's just a matter of being aware of your feelings as soon as you experience a negative emotion, I’m all about results so I ask myself what will I gain by getting angry and the answer is always ‘nothing good’ so I adjust my mood and perspective, it’s not always easy but if I don’t do it I’m the only person I can hold accountable.

I’m not a moody person and it's a very rare thing for me to be in a shitty mood, this is because I do not suppress emotions, rather as soon as I notice a negative thought/emotion I acknowledge it and do something to redirect my energy in a productive way.

I’m not going to go on about it cause I’ve had tooooo many discussions with people who disagree in the past that I don’t think it’s worth it but it’s just the way I see life and it works well for me.
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
..and it's noticeable. You and heart almost seem like NTs in the political/current events/philosophy threads.

Assuming is a no-no, but I'm going to assume that's a compliment, aj, and say "Thanks!"
 

ajblaise

Minister of Propagandhi
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
7,914
MBTI Type
INTP
Assuming is a no-no, but I'm going to assume that's a compliment, aj, and say "Thanks!"

Of course it is, you just got compared to NTs! Cherish this moment.
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
Excuse. There may be a long silence here while I try to figure out a way to return the compliment. ;)
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Excuse. There may be a long silence here while I try to figure out a way to return the compliment. ;)

Abuse, INTs like abuse... jess saying ;)
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
Pssst, Trinity. C'mere. Over in the corner. See that aj over there?

I heard that aj was a - gasp - THINNNKER!

OMG!
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
You do it. I'm not any good at abuse.

Self abuse? Hmmmm. Mental pic here.
 

gloomy-optimist

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
305
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Haha, I know a NT IRL that just spends all his time trying to get me to verbally abuse him. And sometimes physically. It's really funny :B

Sorry, just had to throw that in there cuz it made me laugh on the inside
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Pssst, Trinity. C'mere. Over in the corner. See that aj over there?

I heard that aj was a - gasp - THINNNKER!

OMG!

Yeah, too subtle Anja, really have to hit hard to be noticed, I was thinking along the lines of a camel bite or a really loud scream about how much you HATE them, that kind of stuff makes me weak in the knees :yes:
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
Haha, I know a NT IRL that just spends all his time trying to get me to verbally abuse him. And sometimes physically. It's really funny :B

Sorry, just had to throw that in there cuz it made me laugh on the inside

I am totally disgusted by this post.

Physically? You said physically?

Where do you find these guys? :cheese:
 

gloomy-optimist

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
305
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w3
I am totally disgusted by this post.

Physically? You said physically?

Where do you find these guys? :cheese:

I don't mean beating-the-crap-outta-him physically. I mean just like, "God, you're so annoying and if you keep poking me with that pencil I'm going to slap you" physically.
I don't do the beating people up thing >.>

But yeah; he seems to think it's hilarious :rolli:
 

Anja

New member
Joined
May 2, 2008
Messages
2,967
MBTI Type
INFP
I can't help the subtlety, Trinity. I'm an INFP.

Sad, but true.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
My view is our thoughts determine our feelings which in turn determine our actions, changing our thoughts when a situation arises that we disagree with and choosing an alternative feeling to anger/fear/etc is how we take responsibility for our negative moods.

Ok. I don't disagree with the importance of thought control when in those situations. I usually focus on something else almost automatically. Still if I try to replace my frustration with the situation with some more positive mood, it's no good. I've done it sometimes, for example if I go to a party and realize someone is spoiling the mood, I focus on other people and try to be happy. But if I don't get far enough from the person with negative vibes, I will feel like a fake if I hear him on my one ear and joke with someone else. It's a bit hard to explain, but I hope you see what I mean. After this I will be anxious about me feeling fake. Then I am even more frustrated.

Oh, and I would switch the order: Our feelings determine our thoughts which determine our actions. (But I guess this is NF-NT difference)

I ask myself what will I gain by getting angry and the answer is always ‘nothing good’ so I adjust my mood and perspective, it’s not always easy but if I don’t do it I’m the only person I can hold accountable.

Oh, but this is not a problem. I never really lose my temper.

I’m not going to go on about it cause I’ve had tooooo many discussions with people who disagree in the past that I don’t think it’s worth it but it’s just the way I see life and it works well for me.

Fair enough.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
I am not moody, but I have a hard time being motivated to be friendly when irritated.
 
V

violaine

Guest
Eh, I am jumping back in but I do agree that thoughts precede feelings for the most part, in line with cognitive behavioral therapy.

Regardless, I don't ignore my strong feelings, it makes me feel de-real when I do for the sake of inner calm. My biggest concern is if I cut off from my feelings I'll cut off from being able to be creative. I feel like being receptive to my environment/feeling states (which I cultivate) means I just have to take the good with the bad, which is basically the way I cope with the negative stuff.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Ok. I don't disagree with the importance of thought control when in those situations. I usually focus on something else almost automatically. Still if I try to replace my frustration with the situation with some more positive mood, it's no good. I've done it sometimes, for example if I go to a party and realize someone is spoiling the mood, I focus on other people and try to be happy. But if I don't get far enough from the person with negative vibes, I will feel like a fake if I hear him on my one ear and joke with someone else. It's a bit hard to explain, but I hope you see what I mean. After this I will be anxious about me feeling fake. Then I am even more frustrated.

Yep, I understand what you're saying. The thing is not to avoid by pushing it out of your mind but rather acknowledge it and decide if it's worth getting upset over, my feelings are it usually isn't, if someone around me is being offensive I choose to either challenge them or chalk them down as a tool who isn't worth the effort, either way my thoughts and feelings will result in an action and become effective not simmer inside and upset me. It's about what result you want, generally it works like this; you display anger you receive more anger, you display frustration you receive more frustration etc...

Oh, and I would switch the order: Our feelings determine our thoughts which determine our actions. (But I guess this is NF-NT difference)

I don't say it that way because I'm an NT, these are principles that were ingrained into my by my NF mother but plenty of people disagree, I believe thought comes first it's just not always seen as conscience as people chose not to challenge their emotional reactions.

Oh, but this is not a problem. I never really lose my temper.

Nice. Anger can be replaced with any other negative emotion such as frustration or fear.

Fair enough.

By that I mean I'm happy to reply I just won't try to convince anyone ;)
 
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