Social consequences of showing negative emotions

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I've gathered its law of the nature that people don't want to see negative behavior in others, at least if you hear out my list of negative behavior.

No one usually becomes sympathetic toward people who are harsh, blunt, inconsiderate, nervous, agitated, angry, bitter, vengeful, depressed, don't look in the eye, respond in single word utterances, express unconstructive criticism, feelings of hostility and symptoms of breaking down mentally, express feelings of isolation, inadequacy and insecurity.

There's this person B who's behavior includes many items from that list on a changing schedule. B wonders why I mention anything like that because B hasn't decided to put any of those behaviors on display. B thinks it's rude to ask what's wrong. B is dismissive of the thought they could tell of their concerns in length.

So I have an array of questions.

How can it be that B has social and emotional problems and doesn't look toward pleasant interacting with other people?
Does B find no strength in pleasant interactions with other people?
Does B not want to behave in a way which elicits sympathy from others?
Does B not believe that kind of behavior is off-putting?
Does B believe they are invisible?
Does B believe they are not behaving in any way?
Does B handle all things entirely internally, and if so, is there a chance it might be healthy for them?
Does B believe they don't have to do anything to be liked?
Does B think they should be loved regardless of their behavior?
Does B not think they're acting in too unco-operating manner?
Does B not believe in putting a nice face when they're hurt?
Does B not believe in regulation of emotions?

endless, endless questions. Better I stop it here.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

This is exactly opposite what I thought this thread would be.
How insensitive.

 

[Yuurei]

In my experience people who frequently complain about negative behavior are often projecting.

It makes sense, since "positive' and "Negative" are only perspectives. If one person hears only negative it is my suggestion they clean out their own ears.

I'm confused. They do or do not act this way? If they have negative behaviors and they know about it and thus decide to try to minimize them, I don't see anything inherently wrong with that.



This line of questions does not at all follow the premise.

It's like saying something like this. Person A is acting angry. Why do they hate everyone and everything? Why is their life so miserable? The question does not at all follow the premise. I mean, it may under certain circumstances, but it does not at all automatically mean that those questions are relevant.

Is your goal here simply to insult this B person? The topic is making you look a bit like an asshole, if you'll excuse my french. I'm sure whatever your issues are with this person are valid...but the way you are going about this topic makes it look like the other way around. Perhaps if you actually explained the specific scenario, it would help us understand what in the world you are talking about.

If I had a dime...
I am very aware of the words that I use. When I do not like something I will use phrases like " No thanks, that isn't really my thing." and most people will respond with " GAWD why do you HATE everything!?" or later when I suggest sharing the thing because I enjoy spending time with the person more than I dislike said thing they will say " But you said you fucking hated it!"

It's quite....frustrating

 

[mgbradsh]

I guess the social consequence of those behaviours currently is having them talked about online.

You seem frustrated. Perhaps speaking to that person might be a good idea. If you’ve tried that and it didn’t work, maybe find a way to limit your contact with them. It’s likely having an impact on your emotions.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I obviously want to deal with people in their sound mind and health, duh. I resent people who drain my energy and pretend there's no such thing as energy or draining of it. You are smart people, you can easily get out of the tired old debate about the semantics of the positive-negative emotions discussion.
What if someone tires me out by being an ass and pretending there's no such concepts as being an ass, pretence, and being tired. Do you believe I can be convinced with such arguments in such a situation?

 

[Maou]

I think it s people don't like uncertainty. Someone with different opinions, negative or positive, will force others to either reject it immediately, or be forced to question themselves. Which leads to internal rationalization, and feelings. Some people do not want to question themselves, so they reject it, as it is too close and sometimes act out that rejection. Other people identify it as a foreign opinion, and are able to see it seperate from themselves and look at it somewhat objectivly.

Person B clearly has their own troubles, lots of pent up emotions etc. Which makes them reactive to negative stimulus they don't want to experience. Or they are open to thinking about it, but the methods used by other people were directly hostile instead of perhaps listening etc.

The best approach to hostile people is with kindness, understanding, not taking things personally. Because they could be hurt as much as the person hurt by their behavior. Disarming them, not making them defensive turns them into a much more vulnerable person, but open to outside influences.

Im sure person B asks themselves and questions their behavior often, but their mind is clouded with frustration of always being met with hostility, because they get no constructive feedback, or are listened too properly.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I obviously want to deal with people in their sound mind and health, duh. I resent people who drain my energy and pretend there's no such thing as energy or draining of it. You are smart people, you can easily get out of the tired old debate about the semantics of the positive-negative emotions discussion.
What if someone tires me out by being an ass and pretending there's no such concepts as being an ass, pretence, and being tired. Do you believe I can be convinced with such arguments in such a situation?

It's okay to express your difficulty understanding and communicating with them, and it's okay to take some distance for your own well-being. It's also okay to say "I'd like to be here for you, but I don't understand your way of dealing with things, so I don't know that I'd be of much help to you, unless we can come up with an idea to meet in the middle".