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  1. #1
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    Default What is the worst thing

    That has ever happened to you

    (If you are comfortable enough to share)

    And how has it shaped you?

  2. #2

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    Intentional strategic long-term dissecting of my self-esteem and grasp on reality (covert psychological abuse in marriage).
    Other things too, but most of you who matter probably already know all of that anyway.

    Overall, I still consider myself pretty lucky in many ways because of all the things I haven't experienced that many have.

  3. #3
    The Greater Evil Maou's Avatar
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    I have a long list, so Ill share the one that affected me the most

    When I was 13-14, I got kidnapped by my cousin and older sister (who was living with her at the time). They brought me 2 states away to my real fathers house. I went willingly because I hated my mom, and my step dad at the time. So it wasn't bad at all, and I started a new life there. Going from zero freedom, to max freedom. It was jarring, but exciting. I actually had friends, and we hung out a lot. I would say it was the best year of my entire life. I had one friend in particular that I had a crush on. He was a dedicated and loyal friend who I later found out also had a crush on me. But as summer vacation started, my real mom came to "visit", and this is where it started to go down hill. My brothers agreed to lgo back to my mom's house for the summer. I didn't want to, so they left ahead of me. My mom didn't give up, and I finally agreed to visit for 2 weeks. This was probably the biggest regret ive had. I said goodbye to my friends, and promised Id be back. We traded valueable objects as a show of that promise. My friend gave me his gameboy, and I gave him my rc car. And said see you in two weeks.

    The moment I got back to my mothers house, I knew they never planned on letting me go back. My mom began bribing me with money, and seemed to tone down the abusive behavior, but it eventually went back to the same old shit. I kept writing letters to my friend, but he eventually moved and we lost contact. I actually had intense nightmares about going back, and not finding him. I was so angry at my mothers betrayal, and devistated I was never able to see my friend again. Still to this day. But I did find him on FB, and we talked...but too much time had passed. I cant help but think how much better my life would have been if I didn't go back.

    It was probably then that I got a very callous heart, and pessimistic view on life. As well as destroying my ability to trust, which was abused many times more in the future by my mother. I began to be fueled by spite, and struggled to remain in control of my future from then on.
    The beginning of the end is beginning.

  4. #4
    Ex Tenebris Wunjo's Avatar
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    I don't really know if this is the "worst". But general consensus from what I sense would deem it so.

    Mm... being raised by a conniving, malignant narcissist father and a passive mother. Not a good mix.

    Thanks to my father and the genes from his side of the family, I carry a complete monster within me that I try to keep at bay, sometimes poorly. Actively volunteering in deeds that can sublimate this, or balance this does help, from what I have seen. My monstrosity is hereditary, and being self-aware about it did help, and didn't help from time to time, because self-aware evil, from what I have seen, can be the most destructive form of evil, it lacks the banality of the blind evil that most people act upon from time to time, or maybe I am just being vainglorious. Anyway, this situation left huge anger issues and a long-term lack of empathy and my struggle with being a sneaky son of a gun consciously, or unconsciously. I was raised in an atmosphere that if I was not cunning, I'd be controlled. If I didn't push, I'd be pushed. I had an interesting childhood, mixing constant, subtle power struggles with two near-death experiences and a countryside bourgeoise family can create odd consequences. In one of them, my heart stopped but luckily the doctors electriced me back to life. In the other, my father who I came throat to throat during my lifetime saved me. Do I hate him? I used to think I did, but now, I am very indifferent about him. His life ended up in ruin, all his power and money faded away, and he is cursed to exist with my grandfather that he hates.

    Hereditary, indeed.

    I had a villainous, selfish and destructive mindset for a long time and it took some events for me to steer to neutral zone. That mindset, I can still hear its whisper, if I listen closely, and I think, I should always listen closely, lest I might choose to act upon it.

    Everything is better now, from some perspectives.
    "The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk."

  5. #5

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    That’s classified.
    Likes Yuu liked this post

  6. #6
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    Default

    Essentially, taught me that in "love" there is a power dynamic wherein one is either the abused or abuser.

    But now, I am ready to love at last. With vulnerability and openness. I have understood how wrong I once was to be who I once was.

  7. #7
    The Greater Evil Maou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnetica View Post
    I don't really know if this is the "worst". But general consensus from what I sense would deem it so.

    Mm... being raised by a conniving, malignant narcissist father and a passive mother. Not a good mix.

    Thanks to my father and the genes from his side of the family, I carry a complete monster within me that I try to keep at bay, sometimes poorly. Actively volunteering in deeds that can sublimate this, or balance this does help, from what I have seen. My monstrosity is hereditary, and being self-aware about it did help, and didn't help from time to time, because self-aware evil, from what I have seen, can be the most destructive form of evil, it lacks the banality of the blind evil that most people act upon from time to time, or maybe I am just being vainglorious. Anyway, this situation left huge anger issues and a long-term lack of empathy and my struggle with being a sneaky son of a gun consciously, or unconsciously. I was raised in an atmosphere that if I was not cunning, I'd be controlled. If I didn't push, I'd be pushed. I had an interesting childhood, mixing constant, subtle power struggles with two near-death experiences and a countryside bourgeoise family can create odd consequences. In one of them, my heart stopped but luckily the doctors electriced me back to life. In the other, my father who I came throat to throat during my lifetime saved me. Do I hate him? I used to think I did, but now, I am very indifferent about him. His life ended up in ruin, all his power and money faded away, and he is cursed to exist with my grandfather that he hates.

    Hereditary, indeed.

    I had a villainous, selfish and destructive mindset for a long time and it took some events for me to steer to neutral zone. That mindset, I can still hear its whisper, if I listen closely, and I think, I should always listen closely, lest I might choose to act upon it.

    Everything is better now, from some perspectives.
    I can relate a lot to this.

    When you fight monsters long enough, you become a monster yourself I suppose.

    I'm glad you managed to take a more neutral approach, just gotta make sure you don't cross those certain lines, or you'll find your self father past them than you meant to be.
    The beginning of the end is beginning.

  8. #8
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    When I was very little, I was born. It was a horrible event. I've been stuck in this meat cage ever since. It shaped me into kind of like a loaf of spam with hot dogs shoved into it at different angles.

  9. #9
    Give me a fourth dot. The Tsarevich's Avatar
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    Nvm, my life is rainbow and pony farms.
    Last edited by The Tsarevich; 09-22-2018 at 04:08 AM.

  10. #10
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The worst thing has already happened, so we can relax.

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