a problem with schizoaffective disorder

[gocat]

I apologise because i'm not really asking a question but would be interested in peoples views. I have schizoaffective disorder which is schizophrenia with bi polar mood disorder mania and wanted to say something that really troubles me.My brother last year told me he had a stroke and i wanted to laugh. I was watching a video today on youtube where it was stated that schizophrenics laugh when hearing bad news. I remember the feeling of dread when trying to suppress it.Another affect of schizophrenia is numbness of emotion. These two things combined had got me questioning whether i had developed into a sociopath. We weight train together and before he started i checked online to make sure it was safe for him as he had a stroke so it's not that i actually don't care. I also wish for things like world peace and an end to hunger the normal stuff people hope for but i have to stop myself laughing when anyone tells me bad news and am emotionally numb so i feel like a bit of monster.

 

[LucieCat]

It could be a tension laugh. I have noticed that sometimes when people hear suprising, awful, and/or outlandish things they will chuckle even though they do not necessarily think the situation is funny.

There are also conditions that cause people to laugh without being able to control when it happens. For instance, I could see it being a vocal tic in a person.

The mind is terribly complex. So it could be many things.

I do not think that necessarily makes you a sociopath. A psychiatrist once told me I lacked empathy, and it may have been due to some tension laughs. That or how annoyed I was with everyone and everything at that point in my life. Take the "I'm surrounded by idiots" gif of Scar from the Lion King and multiply that by 100. That's how I felt nearly constantly. But when you ask people who actually know me well or spend time really analyzing me, it's clear that I do have empathy. I may not be good at responding to strong emotions from others and often give delayed uncertain responses, but I still feel empathy towards them.

 

[gocat]

It could be a tension laugh. I have noticed that sometimes when people hear suprising, awful, and/or outlandish things they will chuckle even though they do not necessarily think the situation is funny.

There are also conditions that cause people to laugh without being able to control when it happens. For instance, I could see it being a vocal tic in a person.

The mind is terribly complex. So it could be many things.

I do not think that necessarily makes you a sociopath. A psychiatrist once told me I lacked empathy, and it may have been due to some tension laughs. That or how annoyed I was with everyone and everything at that point in my life. Take the "I'm surrounded by idiots" gif of Scar from the Lion King and multiply that by 100. That's how I felt nearly constantly. But when you ask people who actually know me well or spend time really analyzing me, it's clear that I do have empathy. I may not be good at responding to strong emotions from others and often give delayed uncertain responses, but I still feel empathy towards them.

If you were annoyed with everyone and everything i could see that causing you to feel no empathy at that particular point in time but still have the capacity to feel empathy when those feelings pass. He doesn't sound like a good psychiatrist. I think you might be onto something about it being a tension laugh.

 

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

No... Please don't think that you are a sociopath because you laughed in shock. That's what it was - shock. I've done the same; why just this evening my sister told me she found out a sort-of coworker (sub teacher at her school) got gunned down. Initially, she laughed. My cousin's husband won't be in the delivery room in about a month from now when my cousin starts really pushing. He says when he sees someone he cares about in pain or it's a tense situation, he starts laughing inappropriately as a reflex...

I hope these anecdotes illustrate that the desire to laugh when in shock is not an unusual reaction. Also: if you are questioning whether or not you are a sociopath, it's 99% likely that you are not. A sociopath does not believe that anything is wrong with him or her and has absolutely no negative feelings regarding their behavior and how it affects others. They literally don't care.

 

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

Also, I just wanted to add that I have a family member (in the extended family) with a schizophrenia diagnosis, and I've seen firsthand how the illness has affected her, and have "heard stuff" from her mother about her day-to-day struggles - she still lives with her parents at this point. Suffering from your illness throughout the years, or however long you have presented with the symptoms, has probably meant that you've been "wrung out" and totally numbed by the all-encompassing nature of a severe mental illness. I can only imagine how this has affected your ability to process emotions, particularly difficult ones... That does not mean that you are a monster.

I think it is brave of you to post these personal concerns on a public forum. It shows that you possess vulnerability and that is a big part of getting on the road to wellness, confiding in people.

 

[gocat]

Also, I just wanted to add that I have a family member (in the extended family) with a schizophrenia diagnosis, and I've seen firsthand how the illness has affected her, and have "heard stuff" from her mother about her day-to-day struggles - she still lives with her parents at this point. Suffering from your illness throughout the years, or however long you have presented with the symptoms, has probably meant that you've been "wrung out" and totally numbed by the all-encompassing nature of a severe mental illness. I can only imagine how this has affected your ability to process emotions, particularly difficult ones... That does not mean that you are a monster.

I think it is brave of you to post these personal concerns on a public forum. It shows that you possess vulnerability and that is a big part of getting on the road to wellness, confiding in people.

Thank you for your kind words . I think you make very good points and i have to admit i do feel wrung out emotionally by the illness.

 

[prplchknz]

I don't think that that's that abnormal. I mean I often feel like laughing at bad news not because i think it's funny but i dunno why i just do. I've learned to supress it though.I'll often smile i think it's like omg i dunno. But i do know when i'm depressed or anxious i'll either look like i'm gonna shoot everyone or smile like an idiot

 

[neko 4]

Nice to meet you, I also have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.
You're not a sociopath. I sometimes find inappropriate things funny but I know I'm not evil.