"If words could not affect us none of us would ever be embarrassed or triggered. None of us is perfect so each at one time or another is triggered by the words of another. Children don’t have this luxury or privilege. They become a product of the words and information imparted to them. Children are as sponges soaking up both negative and positive messages in their childhood. They don't yet have a strong identity and a self concept. I have a saying, "Parents are as mini-gods or sculptors. Their children they raise are a product of the words they use in communicating with their children.
If the parents shower unconditional regard and love upon a child and give complimentary and validating comments to their children, then the parents in essence sculpt on their sculpting pottery wheel a strong, straight and beautiful vase. Such a child raised in these conditions is much more likely to develop a strong sense of self along with good self esteem. However the reverse is true. If the parents have issues and take these issues out unto their children with name calling and denigration the vase on the pottery wheel representing the child will be made stunted and warped.
Such a child will more than likely develop a poor sense of self and poor self esteem. How do words affect us? It seems we can be susceptible to triggers. These are unresolved and unhealed aspects of ourselves. What is a mere word anyhow? But how the word is delivered, in another words tone and modulation can affect us in either a negative or positive way. When it comes to insults or labels they do not bother or affect me much. First of all they are using the identified cognitive distortion of labeling. Second of all they are in all probability triggered. They are lashing out with nonsensical language which is indeed not more than gibberish. Third they are projecting from a triggered stance their own unfinished business and unresolved issues.
What comes out of their own mouth is more telling of the individual than has bearing on you personally. Fourth the person is coming from a place of emotional immaturity and a lack of spiritual strength. To me an assault with use of labels or pejoratives is akin to Fred Flintstones's Pebbles and Bam Bam speech. It is simply to be ignored. To pay any attention to it is a form of negative reinforcement. It keeps alive nonsensical and irrational interaction. There is no use arguing with that person or communicating for they come from a place of being irrational.
As an adult I realize this. This insight is not readily available to the developing child. Rather they take in the abuse and self identify with it. This leads to a whole host of unhealthy cognitive schema's in their belief system. Misconceptions can arise in daily use with our language. In one sense we live in both the interrelated reality of mankind, but yet in another each of us is a self-contained universe. What we hear is colored not with truth but rather our personal history. We can't truly really understand another's inner universe fully. We operate on our personal understanding, background and specialized areas of expertise.
If another communicates something that is not readily understood by us nor is it in the repertoire of stored knowledge we have odds are it will be filtered out by the brain. In a sense you have not said said anything sensible to the other party. This is in spite of the fact that they understand your English words. It's just the concepts and all the underlying wisdom associated with your imparted knowledge that is lost on them. In addition we are creatures of habit. Growing up we see how our peers and parents interact and communicate. This behavior of one's parents can then be modeled and replicated by the children. It can then become a habit and pattern of behavior. How your parents or significant others reacted can unduly influence you. How they reacted often determines how we act.
Or else we can overcompensate and go in the opposite direction. We need to be taught mindfulness with critical thinking along with empathy skills. This would include communication and developing active listening skills. The art of active listening is a learned skill much in need of being developed. No one can insult us except ourselves. I can envision a society where verbal negativity, is a sure sign of mental illness. Verbal abuse is an ethical crime. It is a crime against the soul, especially to children. I'll say that again, verbal abuse is a crime against everyone, but especially to children. As adults we have hopefully a greater sense of self. We have more coping aptitudes. Children are our most profoundly prized, precious gift. For us to abuse a child is a crime.
Words spoken in the most profoundest ignorance can condemn and help to mold the child, now an adult to crime, substance abuse and mental illness. Our words are a direct reflection of the heart. If laced with pejoratives it is a reflection of our own unfinished business and unresolved conflict interfering with us becoming a fully actualized being. Awakened ones look at both sides of an argument. They find something something positive in the others stance. Then they share their belief without belittling the other. Those who say they're are 'real' and 'strong' while belittling their fellows are blind under a veil of ignorance. They are clueless for they defame them self and show their ignorant bias, prejudice and stereotype all of which have stunted their growth.
Misconceptions can arise in daily use with our language. In one sense we live in both the interrelated reality of mankind, but yet in another each of us is a self-contained universe. What we hear is colored not with truth but rather our personal history. We can't truly really understand another. We also will and can filter all of which we perceive. The very brain then tries making order, but will mistakenly misinterpret the message from another. They will misinterpret to their own devising (unconscious) not hearing another's soul. To listen is a gift and as well a trait in need of developing. How do words affect us? It seems it is both we are conditioned as well the energy expended at another can affect the person.
What is a mere word anyhow? But how the word is delivered, in another words tone and modulation can affect us with either the negative or the positive. In addition we are creatures of habit. Growing up we see how our peers and parents for the most part have the biggest influence. How they react often determines how we act. Or else we overcompensate and go in the opposite direction. Me need to be taught mindfulness with critical thinking along with empathy skills. This would include communication and developing active listening skills. No one can insult us except ourselves. As adults we have a hopefully greater sense of self. We have more coping aptitudes. Children are our most profoundly prized, precious gift. For us to abuse a child is a crime.
I can envision a society where verbal negativity, is a sure sign of mental illness. Verbal abuse is a crime. It is a crime against the soul, especially to children. I'll say that again, verbal abuse is a crime against everyone, but especially to children. Children are our most profoundly prized, precious gift. For us to abuse a child is a crime. Words spoken in the most profound Ignorance can condemn a child, now an adult to crime, substance abuse and mental illness if they as children did not receive enough of the 40 developmental assets in their formative years to help instill resilient qualities."
