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Do you think you’re emotionally needy?

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Nope which is apparently weird for an INFP but i'm a 9w8.
 

notmyapples

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Messages
398
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Nope. Am not and have never been considered needy.
 

I Tonya

Rythym of the night
Joined
Jun 24, 2018
Messages
567
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
539
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am very needy, which makes me self-conscious and embarrassed about; but I have few ppl who don't mind and love me for who I am. :hug:
(I sometimes avoid ppl when I know they'd think of me as a burden and just way too judgmental... I don't need anymore toxicity in my life )
 

mgbradsh

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2008
Messages
317
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
I’m honestly just here for the validation.

I like to play a little game called, “I’m upset at you for not meeting my needs, but I’m not going to tell you why I’m upset, you have to guess.” It’s a lot of fun, we have a lot of fun with that one.

Apropos of nothing, I also like really long drives alone.
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
Joined
Mar 19, 2009
Messages
4,602
I think so, probably.

I overcompensate by keeping an extreme distance between myself and others and never initiating anything for fear of appearing too needy.

Though it is a bit counterproductive...
 

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I’m honestly just here for the validation.

I like to play a little game called, “I’m upset at you for not meeting my needs, but I’m not going to tell you why I’m upset, you have to guess.” It’s a lot of fun, we have a lot of fun with that one.

Apropos of nothing, I also like really long drives alone.

May I ask why? (On the game, not the drives lol)
 

Forever

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
8,551
MBTI Type
NiFi
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Me at work:
So I can ask you any and as many questions I want?

Person in charge: Any question.

Me:
So how does and this and this and this and this and this and this but what about this and that and that and that oh really oh ok but also this wait this I want to know about that too. But I know this is related so like this how does this and this and this and that and woah what about this exception

Other:
*very irritated* and becomes short with me
FUCK CANT U KNOW THAT I WAS ONLY SAYIN THAT TO BE POLITE

Me: *derpy look* just b honest w/ me
 

mgbradsh

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2008
Messages
317
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w5
May I ask why? (On the game, not the drives lol)

I fancy myself an emotional terrorist.


I’m exaggerating a bit. The question itself begs a silly answer. A word like needy is really loaded with negative connotations. How can you answer it honestly?

We all need validation of some sort. It’s why we’re here. Be it emotional, intellectual, spiritual, people like to connect and feel wanted and heard. Some more than others, sure, but at some point we’re all “needy”.

I probably do that as an introvert. I want some care and affection, but I’m probably not great at advocating for that tneed. I get over it pretty quickly, but I’m sure there are times where I’ve been pretty pissy because I didn’t get it. That can be tough being with an extrovert, they are often much more adept at seeing those needs met.
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
No but I do know what I like and want plenty of that. Some people may think that is needy...I don't.
 

Lark

Active member
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
Not usually. Life has made me this way. Its been a struggle to try and return to my former self but I'll get there. Even a dont, its worth a try.
 

Schrödinger's Name

Blessed With A Curse
Joined
Jul 20, 2019
Messages
1,693
I would say yes but I almost never show it. I will 'test' people to see how they react and what they say. It's kinda complicated. As a child I never got much (emotional) support. So in some way I feel as if I don't need it, I am fine on my own... But on the other side I really 'seek' understanding and validation.
 

Meowcat

New member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Messages
209
If "needy" is just needing explicit validation from others, then no - that's actually where I should work on accepting that I need some at all.

Oh yeah. I tried to figure out if I really actually need explicit validation. Because I kept hearing that people need validation. Then eventually what I figured out is I just don't want people to be dismissive if I try to open up or just even try to trust a little. The best way to ensure that doesn't happen is not open up easily. That's how I always worked anyway.

Maybe as a small kid it did help when I received praise and acknowledgement of whatever I was doing or achieving or of how I am/my traits. But no longer, I provide it to myself now.
 

The Cat

Just a Cat who hangs out at the Crossroads
Staff member
Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
23,553
I try not to be. It gets dark quick when I am.
 

Schrödinger's Name

Blessed With A Curse
Joined
Jul 20, 2019
Messages
1,693
I try not to be. It gets dark quick when I am.

This to be honest.

Sometimes I even think that it would be better for me if people wouldn't give me any emotional validation at all. Because I can be perfectly fine without it, but as soon as someone -I like- gives me (emotional) validation... It becomes a drug and I keep craving more of it.
Don't feed the troll. .-.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don’t consider myself needy. I value/appreciate feedback/communication from those I care for/respect, but my expectations of those people are fairly well-calibrated, I think. In more intimate contexts, this sort of feedback is grounding/reassuring, but I don’t think I require it in any excess, nor do I feel terribly panicked when I don’t receive said reassurance. I’ve certainly got my own baggage of insecurities, but I do my very best to ensure no one else carries it. Periodic unpacking/sorting helps keep that load manageable.


We’re born alone. We die alone. Everything in between is a precious bonus, but by no means guaranteed to anyone.. Humans are inherently inconsistent/messy for a host of reasons in life. That’s not even factoring in how some can just die on you. I try to adapt to that everpresent knowledge, & not hang my self value/fulfillment in life on the opinion/affection/approval/presence of others, while still factoring them in quite heavily in some ways— we are social animals after all, & I do feel a sort of universal connection with people, to some extent or another.

I am intensely connected with/attached to a select few. I love the close people in my life with all of myself, but I also accept that I’m not necessarily entitled to that in turn, & even if reciprocated, nothing is truly permanent. And that’s okay. It’s a tightrope act, but what isn’t? In the end, I’m still here, ground beneath my feet, whether someone is holding my hand or not. And life is beautiful.



Despite my sense of connection with fellow humans, I am rather allergic to overly clingy/needy behavior in others. Chock that up to building healthy boundaries over the yrs, & an inborn bit of high introversion, I suppose. I just don’t have the energy to navigate that. It usually stems from issues that should be addressed with a more qualified person, & I’m painfully aware of my own limits.

This only applies to people, of course. I have boundless energy for emotionally (or otherwise) needy cats.
 

Firebird 8118

DJ Phoenix
Joined
Sep 22, 2012
Messages
3,134
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
279
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yes... I promise I'm trying to change that though... it's already caused enough frustration for everyone around me... which just makes me want to vanish all the more...
 
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