Triggers: Why are triggers an opportunity for growth?

[LightSun]

"Why are triggers an opportunity for growth? What are the effective pitfalls of trying to make change when triggered? In the case of triggers if you react outwardly either to other people or the world you have missed the boat. The trick is to practice an Internal Locus of control and self responsibility for one's thoughts, feelings and actions/ Only in this way can true growth occur. The alternative is you will be re-triggered by your unresolved conflict or issues."


"“If something does not make sense on the surface, there is an unconscious reason. We are a rational-irrational species. We have the gift of logic, and reason. But too many times are reasoning is circumvented by our emotions & feelings. Yet we need feelings to connect to others and have interpersonal relationships. It is finding the mixture and balance between the two. There are elements of truth in a person who is triggered but they are camouflaged with lies, self lies, rationalizations and denial. This to me is the truest element of finding one's being; Using love and reason even when you are not met with these qualities.

If triggered, (1) takes full responsibility for your illogical thoughts & speech and try not to (2) Act "under the influence" of irrationality, which is almost being under the influence of a drug. So to be able and look into the mirror of truth and have a true reflection one must contain the element of not being triggered. As long as we have this element of being triggered by negative emotion, we will always have an element of untruth. Triggers as a consequence usually determine some 'perceived' threat for one's ego. A much more balanced way is to without doubt see a source, determine validity (if there is some), and have a humility in knowing if by chance one is governed by a passion (that is, not using reason or empathy.

A PATH / A KEY / A WAY are, is, is to follow the golden rule by:

Do not think negative thoughts, but deal with the situation rationally.

Do not speak with negative energy. It is a reflection of you & not the other.

Do not act negatively, but react realistically with the proper restraint even if negative energy is directed at you.

Now we influence each other with positive or negative energy. In this universe for every action there is an equal reaction. So the natural tendency is to repay negative energy with more negative energy. This feels very good and we feel self- righteous about it. After all the other is in the wrong and not us. In our mind the other is blind and does evil, immoral, wrong words or actions. But the key is that it is irrelevant to one's path. The key is that being negative in even the slightest is a true reflection of self and not the other. The other's path is their destiny.

Perhaps they were sent here to test our mettle in the face of crisis or misfortunes, thus there is a chance with growth if we only but bend our own beliefs to embrace a truer reality. Now this next part coming is partly from cognitive behavior principles. A key is that if we have a negative emotion, we are ruled by a distortion. The external event triggered:

A. What is in us waiting to come to the surface in a testing moment.

B. Triggered our own unfinished childhood issues and emotions

C. We are reacting in a lesser manner.

We are reacting against ghosts from the past that this moment has triggered so that we can grow and move on to the path of self-actualization. That is if we choose the higher road and we need endeavor to act maturely and with restraint. If I hurt you, I hurt myself, perhaps not noticeably, but I missed an opportunity for growth. If we do not sink to the others level. Perhaps it will take longer for them on the path of life to mature, reflect, and with insight grow. If we think, speak, or act in a negative manner then the opportunity is lost.

The message is lost, but it will undoubtedly reappear until you learn the lesson about you. This moment in space and time was brought together for you to learn this valuable lesson of self, in order to grow and actualize.
Do not throw this precious moment away by reacting with your baser instincts. Reach, grow, become. Reach for this inner learning. Grow with this wisdom and become what you were meant to be. I think it is mostly a sound, safe environment in growing up plus having some parents who displayed discipline, plus love (unconditional love). As opposed to growing up as some children do who must constantly prove their worth, therefore love, acceptance, safety, all are conditional.

If a person has self-esteem that is really high, they are more likely to endure some trauma and therefore be much of the forgiving side. But however some that had nasty childhoods and therefore have no solid bedrock are more likely to hold unto that trauma. They will hold onto their anger and it shall choke them."

 

[LightSun]

(Rewrite and edited version)
"Why are triggers an opportunity for growth? What are the effective pitfalls of trying to make change when triggered? In the case of triggers if you react outwardly either to other people or the world you have missed the boat. The trick is to practice an Internal Locus of control and self responsibility for one's thoughts, feelings and actions/ Only in this way can true growth occur. The alternative is you will be re-triggered by your unresolved conflict or issues."

"If something does not make sense on the surface, there is an unconscious reason. We are a rational-irrational species. We have the gift of logic and reason. But too many times are reasoning is circumvented by our emotions and feelings. We need feelings to connect to others and have interpersonal relationships. It is finding the mixture and balance between the two. There are elements of truth in a person who is triggered but they are camouflaged with lies, self lies, rationalizations, emotional reasoning and denial.

This to me is the truest element of finding one's being; Using love and reason even when you are not met with these qualities. Triggers as a consequence usually determine some 'perceived' threat for one's ego. They are psychic wounds of unresolved conflict and unaddressed issues. Knowing this and taking full accountability is the harbinger of success. If triggered, (1) takes full responsibility for your illogical thoughts and speech and try not to (2) Act under the influence of irrationality, which is almost being under the influence of a drug. If one acts in anger one is almost in a state of temporary psychosis.

The person's brain is flooded with hormones and chemicals. Thus their reasoning ability is clouded and even distorted. When one is angry is not the time to make a decision. Ultimately triggers are an opportunity for growth or a mere repetition of old behaviors which are not conducive to emotional well being. First remove the cognitive distortions in one's thought process. Then act with a mixture of reason or the use of critical thought together with compassion.

Using insight one can correct old behaviors and develop newer more beneficial behaviors on how to deal with old triggers. To be able and look into the mirror of truth and have a true reflection one must contain the element of not being triggered. As long as we have this element of being triggered by negative emotion, we will always have an element of untruth. A PATH / A KEY / A WAY is to follow the golden rule by:

Do not think negative thoughts, but deal with the situation rationally.

Do not speak with negative energy. It is a reflection of you and not the other.

Do not act negatively, but react realistically with the proper restraint even if negative energy is directed at you.

Now we influence each other with positive or negative energy. In this universe for every action there is an equal reaction. So the natural tendency is to repay negative energy with more negative energy. This feels very good and we feel self- righteous about it. After all the other is in the wrong and not us. In our mind the other is doing blind, evil, immoral, wrong words or actions. But the key is that it is irrelevant to one's path.

The key is that being negative in even the slightest is a true reflection of self and not the other. The other's path is their destiny. Perhaps they were sent here to test our mettle in the face of crisis or misfortunes, thus there is a chance with growth if we only but bend our own beliefs to embrace a truer reality. Now this next part coming is partly from cognitive behavior principles. A key is that if we have a negative emotion, we are ruled by a distortion. The external event triggered:

A. What is in us waiting to come to the surface in a testing moment.

B. The trigger is a reflection of our own unfinished childhood issues and emotions.

C. If we do not act with restraint and reason we are reacting in a lesser manner. We aren't taking the harder less travelled high road to emotional and spiritual growth.

We are reacting against ghosts from the past that this moment has triggered which hamper our personal growth upon the path of self-actualization. If we choose the higher road and we need endeavor to act maturely and with restraint. If I hurt you, I hurt myself, perhaps not noticeably, but I missed an opportunity for growth. If we think, speak, or act in a negative manner then the opportunity is lost. We are giving in to our primitive emotional brain.

We are reacting against reality instead of taking personal responsibility for our actions and making conscious choices rather than being directed by unconscious impulses. Do not succumb and take the lesser road of an eye for an eye. Perhaps it will take longer for them on the path of life to mature, reflect and finally with insight grow. This will only occur if they posses an open mind, are receptive to change and take personal responsibility.

The message is lost but it will undoubtedly reappear until you learn the lesson you need to learn about yourself. This moment in space and time was brought together for you to learn this valuable lesson of self, in order to grow and actualize. Do not throw this precious moment away by reacting with your baser instincts. Reach, grow, become. Reach for this inner learning. Grow with this wisdom through insight and personal reflection and become what you were meant to be.

I think it is mostly a sound and safe environment in growing up having parents who displayed guidelines, love (unconditional love) and safety that a child will generally have self esteem, self worth and be less susceptible to triggers. This as opposed to growing up as some children do who must constantly prove their worth, therefore love, acceptance, safety, all of which are conditional as set by the parents. Such children are more prone to low self esteem and concept as well as being more susceptible to both internal and external triggers.

They are less likely to develop effective coping skills to deal with adverse conditions in a mature manner. If a person has self-esteem that is really high, they are more likely to endure some trauma and therefore be much of the forgiving side. Children coming from environments without the factors of love, fair guidelines and safety will less likely have a solid foundation and will more likely hold unto traumas from a dysfunctional home life. They will hold onto their anger and unhealed psychic wounds and it shall haunt their lives."