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  1. #1
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Default Gossip: What is the reasoning for gossip, pro and con?

    "Gossip Why do people gossip? Don't they know it is self destructive? It is a sign of emotional and spiritual immaturity? What is more most of the gossip is here say and projections. They are not a fair reflection of the real world. What is the reason for gossiping behavior, pro and con?"


    "To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce friction and unrest in their lives, we should practice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others - speak of their good qualities." - Dalai Lama

    "Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” Socrates


    “It seems in human personality there is some need to let out built up resentment so people tend to let out steam out by the gossiping. Gossiping reflects the speaker, badly. This is quite passive-aggressive in nature. It also festers and can become likened as cancer in a organization and can break up friendships. It really seems that lessening this aspect is to learn communication skills. Learning and education is precursor for better human communication and relationships. If we have a grievance we communicate it through the proper channels or speak to the person individually."
    LightSun Paul Peaceweaver

  2. #2
    Liberator Coriolis's Avatar
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    It seems to me that most gossip is rooted in insecurity, and the need to know about other people so you can see how you measure up, or to speak about other people to make you look good, either by comparison, or so you look "in the know" about others. I have no patience with it myself.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  3. #3
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    I dont like gossip. People gossip to me all the time, and occasionally Ill vent to someone else about someone- but IRL I try to stay out of it as much as possible. Ive seen too many queen bees in my day that now I know that I dont want to poke any nests if I can help it.

  4. #4
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    “It seems in human personality there is some need to let out built up resentment so people tend to let out steam out by gossiping. Gossiping reflects on the speaker, badly. This is quite passive-aggressive in nature. It also festers and can become likened as cancer in a organization and can break up friendships. Gossiping can be a bonding exercise. However if the gossip is negative in tone it it counterproductive. What is more it accomplishes nothing. It does not tackle the underpinnings of the conflict or stressor. Instead learn to state one's boundaries.

    Make 'I' statements such as I feel or I think. Take personal ownership. This instead of unleashing negativity full of distortions in logic plus reason. It really seems that lessening this aspect is to learn communication skills. Learning and education is precursor for better human communication and relationships. If we have a grievance we communicate it through the proper channels or speak to the person directly."
    LightSun Paul Peaceweaver

  5. #5
    Senior Member cacaia's Avatar
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    I'm curious about this question because people told me I gossip, and I don't really mean it that way. If someone at work is doing something hurtful to other people, I don't have the courage to tell that someone to stop hurting others to their face. So I occasionally mention how I observed such and such a person saying this to a kid, and how I feel it could be better handled. I don't want to burn bridges with the person, since I have to see them everyday, but I also want to make sure the kids are safe and respected, too, so if this is considered gossip, then I'm guilty of it. But I hate confrontation, and cannot bring myself to tell the person to stop.
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  6. #6
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    What is gossiping exactly?

    There's talking and staying updated in the going-ons of your social circle, but where does it cross into gossip?
    S K Y K I N G
    It is said to have lived for hundreds of millions of years in the earth's ozone layer, above the clouds.
    Its existence had been completely unknown because it lived so high in the sky.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    "I saw Florence the other day. Did you see that dress she had on? She looked pregnant but I think it's just all those chocolate chip cookies she eats. And did I tell you her husband is having sex with his neighbor's dog? A standard poodle for pete's sake! There should be a law against that."

    Gossip.
    The purpose of politics is not to defeat your opponent as much as it is to provide superior leadership and better ideas than the opposition.

  8. #8
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    I guess this is just another thing I am too aloof and dense in, then. Bye guys.
    S K Y K I N G
    It is said to have lived for hundreds of millions of years in the earth's ozone layer, above the clouds.
    Its existence had been completely unknown because it lived so high in the sky.

  9. #9
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    The 'purpose' /pro of it would be establishing or figuring out who agrees with what, who 'joins forces' with the gossiper and who does not; it can be to deliberately try to undermine someone/try to make someone look bad and get ppl to agree, or it can be to try to see what other people think. So it's a way of building, establishing, determining, social positioning or who agrees with whom, what 'side' people fall on. Or, just talking about others as a conversation piece. The gossiper learns, and those who despise what the gossiper is doing or saying will then by despising form their own 'group' or stand solo.

    The negative ofc is that it can hurt the individual being spoke of, might involve total misinformation (thus still hurting the person), and generally can begin to weaken and dissolve trust and cohesivenesss in the group/environment.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #10

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    It’s the byproduct of idleness. If people were busy doing their own life they wouldn’t be preoccupied with others.

    An observation I’ve made over the years is to avoid the people that are the first to denounce gossip emphatically. They are usually the biggest purveyors of petty slander.
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