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  1. #11
    Phase-shifted beam Coriolis's Avatar
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    Mostly internal, in that it is up to me how to handle whatever life sends my way. That being said, external influences do exist and sometimes can overwhelm even our best attempts to compensate, mitigate, or otherwise overcome. So, it is a mixture but for me strongly skewed toward internal.
    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha
    Likes lightsun liked this post

  2. #12

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    Internal.

    I'd like to believe that I have the ability to manipulate any given situation to fit the mold of whatever my mind constructs. Every response/action spawn a series of possible outcomes, yet I acknowledge that every action I take creates a new path of forks in the road from which to travel.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Mostly internal, in that it is up to me how to handle whatever life sends my way. That being said, external influences do exist and sometimes can overwhelm even our best attempts to compensate, mitigate, or otherwise overcome. So, it is a mixture but for me strongly skewed toward internal.
    Coriolis wrote, (1) "...internal...up to me how to handle whatever life sends my way."

    I am projecting. I am stoic and I find you to be quite reasonable.


    (2) "...external influences do exist and sometimes can overwhelm even our best attempts to compensate, mitigate, or otherwise overcome."

    We have two realities (generalization). There is real reality and then there is the unforseen. When something comes out of the blue that can be traumatic it can cause cognitive dissonance. That is the colliding of two realities the real reality and your conceived and expected reality.

  4. #14
    Phase-shifted beam Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    Coriolis wrote, (1) "...internal...up to me how to handle whatever life sends my way."

    I am projecting. I am stoic and I find you to be quite reasonable.


    (2) "...external influences do exist and sometimes can overwhelm even our best attempts to compensate, mitigate, or otherwise overcome."

    We have two realities (generalization). There is real reality and then there is the unforseen. When something comes out of the blue that can be traumatic it can cause cognitive dissonance. That is the colliding of two realities the real reality and your conceived and expected reality.
    Therein lies the beauty and utility of contingency planning.
    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha

  5. #15
    Noncompliant Yuurei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    "Do you have an internal or external locus of control? Which would you prefer? What are the pro's and con's with each orientation?


    'The difference between an external locus of control and a person with an internal locus of control'

    "If one blames others or life for their feelings then they are reacting from an external locus of control stance. To judge alone accomplishes nothing rather it shows one's own lack of clear understanding. These type of individuals will never truly realize their heart's desire to its fullest degree. An external locus of control person unfortunately put to much emphasis on the opinions, likes and dislikes of others. The externally influenced individual is too much at the mercy of what happens to them in life and are more prone to blame others and life for their own personal feelings.

    A person can have a healthy external locus of control if they have self esteem, are stoic in nature and seek to prevail over life's difficulties. By taking ownership of our thoughts, feelings and actions we operate from an internal locus of control. If triggered, rather than blaming we reflect and look within. At the bottom of the trigger is an unhealed part of oneself. We must seek to understand the nature of the trigger in order to gain insight and grow from the experience.

    In dealing with life's circumstances with mindfulness and reason we continue to actualize. People with an internal locus of control are not as easily driven by the opinions of other people. An internal locus of control individual takes a stoic self responsibility no matter what life throws at them. In psychology circles we are trained to take ownership of personal feelings such as to state: 'I think,' or 'I feel' statements. Internal locus of control individuals become orientated and self guided by an inner compass point whether it is popular or not.

    We are on a journey of self discovery of the true self and in the creation of our own happiness. The best avenue is to take the road of Reason and Agape compassion. We in this capacity are more able to learn from life's lessons and thus grow in depth and breadth."
    I know this is a bit late but I just saw it. I love this. If there is anything I wish to teach to people it is this...so far I've been unsuccessful. People really do like to cling to their excuses.
    “ Rise up and raise the iron roof off
    Now, Rise up and riot 'til the bomb drops
    Now, Rise up the time is right to sound off, so
    Rise with me, rise with me, rise with me (RISE UP!)”

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yuu View Post
    I know this is a bit late but I just saw it. I love this. If there is anything I wish to teach to people it is this...so far I've been unsuccessful. People really do like to cling to their excuses.
    I am not sure that this can be taught, on the one hand I think that insight is not sufficient to inform behaviour, even when its understood fully and accepted as agreeable.

    On the other hand, no matter how much steely resolve anyone has, or imagines they have, it should not excuse the external, situational stressors from consideration. There really is more to it than simply encouraging people to steel themselves to their circumstances when their circumstances really, really ought to change. Like I've known a lot of people who are highly adapted to really terrible circumstances, they cope where others would fail to but should they have to?

    I'm not thinking specifically of trolling, bullying, cyberbullying, other forms of intimidation, crime but it counts in that case as much as other sorts of adversity, hardship, scarcity or deprivation.

    Like I get tried of hearing about cases of people who have NPD or who're sociopaths or psychopaths or something like it and engage in trolling plead free speech and complain about a victim culture when someone tries to check their behaviour. All of that has a consequence beyond cyberspace too. Its a sort of culture jamming which I think will effect how juries feel about trials, how professionals or judges do, how forms of abuse are conceived of by the community at large involving vulnerable populations like the old, the sick, children but also individuals in general. Basically, if you're dealing with an ill individual and they insist you just need to be more like them, its not a good idea to go along with that. Some, though not all, discussions of self-control seem to take on the hue or complexion.

    That said, while that's my current view and the accent or angle I like to put on this discussion presently, I have seen the value of self-control contra wholesale social change in the past. It definitely does recommend itself in some individual-social or minority-majority scenarios when seeking to strike the balance and its been undervalued I believe. There are still a lot of people who are pursuing the validation from strangers that they ought not to (personally I think this can be a hangover from some earlier evangelical or proselytizing cultures that've deeply scarred the psyche of some societies).

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