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  1. #31

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    Selfish and sometimes arrogant indifference.
    Detachment.
    Unwavering eye contact (if I'm feeling provoked to challenge the other).
    Staying super calm and not budging an inch and just waiting for their reaction (basically, pulling a checkmate and causing their entire game to unravel before their eyes).

    On the flip side, smug sarcasm and a sense of amusement. I've mostly outgrown that though.

    In general, I use humor to keep people intrigued/entertained but at the exact distance I want them to be from me.

    I'm very contradictory and push/pull.
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  2. #32
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    redirection of attention, sense of humor and charm all rolled up into one... I give the appearance of being an open person, but in reality, I'm showing what I want to show and people often assume that's all that there is. that's all that anyone's going to get, for the most part. I'm guilty of many lies of omission when it comes to self presentation and I use my warmer personality traits to distract everyone from this. deflection protects me from the world by showing others what I feel safe with showing... my outward personality is merely bread and circuses to keep you away from anything deeper.

    I can also give a really mean look if I want for people to go away!
    “The phrase 'Someone ought to do something' was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used it never added the rider 'and that someone is me'.” - Terry Pratchett
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  3. #33
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    Jokes, pretending everything is ok, withdrawing- locking down my facial expressions- becoming nothing to nobody.

    Mostly self deprecating jokes. I am dazy and just- inattentive enough that these are easy.
    Sort of a ‘beat them to the punch’ sort of thing

    Also. When Im uncomfortable- I can be sort of argumentative- authority challenging definitely. But I dont really mean anything by it... and well, usually will feel a bit bad about how I handle things when Im like that. Its more like a reflexive thing- I feel threatened so the spikes come out but- I really dont want to HURT anyone- Im just uncomfortable myself and I dont want anyone to know I feel vulnerable

    Hut yeah. I guess thats all my armor,
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  4. #34
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SurrealisticSlumbers View Post
    Everyone has a metaphorical suit of armor. Our "armor" shields us from a real or perceived threat. It can be literally anything that makes us feel safe, whether external or internal (behavioral). For example, fashion, makeup, hairstyles, accessories (like carrying a cigarette, cup of coffee, or an instrument everywhere as a security object), and even forms of nonverbal communication such as facial expressions/gestures would be categorized as external. There are also behavioral tactics we employ, on an often subconscious level, that make us feel safe and secure. This, too, is armor - which you can't see until interacting. The aloof coworker everyone calls a bitch. The neighbor across the hall who can't do more than small talk.

    So, what's your armor?


    'Vulnerability in Being Human'

    "Many of us wear social masks that we project out into the world. Those that are strong enough remove their armor and reveal their selves. I'll share a few flash bulbs of awareness. I was in military, the army precisely in military intelligence and field artillery thus I utilize veterans services. I have depression among other things. I'd go to the depression meetings and some things stood out. One was hearing other veterans tell their story and I'd say to myself, "Man I can deal with my pain but not their pain or life."

    Each knows their own pain as well private hell. A second thing is I saw veterans with literally no legs, laying on dollies with catheters and I was truly so humbled and asked myself, "What have I got to complain about in my life?" For no matter the circumstances things could be worse. Finally my sharing of my pain but in degrees and appropriate fashion (There seems to be a right moment when the group is in harmonious fashion, wave-length as well an energy- frequency). is a source of inspiration for others.

    For me and it's a two way street. For i am transparent thus safe. Of a true paramount importance and necessary for healing; trust and revealing of one's true self and not a 'safe' mask put on for societies sake and not your own. In the end following this road will lead you nowhere. You will have died in vain never being true to yourself or ever really discovering yourself. For aren't we all human? Don't we all suffer? Who am i too judge anybody, even self. A judging soul is as one who is lost on his or her journey and is in such the state of ignorance doesn't even know it.

    There isn't awareness or real self but be a puppet of societies dance of blind men dancing under moonlit sky, or perhaps a minaret and ultimately lost soul. Thus I may be have shown enough manifest trust ability to a degree for others to open up to my soul. That is honor of highest proportion. It is the rarest of honors when another human being shares of him self's or her self's heart. It truly is at least if one knows the full significance of this magical act and this is the revealing and sharing of one living soul to another.

    (1) They will know I truly can understand, empathize and be warm.

    (2) They themselves become humbled just as I was by my experience of seeing others worse off. It seems a weird thing to say but seeing others suffering lessens your own for you gain a new life perspective and appreciation.

    (3) It gives them courage to share in a safe environment, be understood and not be judged ever. At least not by me and if I ever run across a callous individual they are gone. I will not put up with name calling, pejoratives and labels. They will be un-friended and blocked.

    (4)They admire me for my bravery and honesty. For it is a hard thing to share leaving one open and to feel vulnerable.

    (5) Also one can have fears, "What will one think about me now?"

    Still it is part of the healing journey as well. If one reveals all one's demons, "What could possibly hurt me now? There's nothing left. Still it doesn't take the pain away, only for a moment perhaps. But I know at least I am not alone and also everyone has a cross to bear in life. Believe me this is not the kind of life I would have chosen. The payoff of my hearts dripping blood is this, because of my pain, vulnerability, bravery, perhaps strength of character, on that one I don't know for it is my place to say. Ultimately my humanity becomes manifest."

  5. #35
    🍓 girl in an 🍎 world SurrealisticSlumbers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lightsun View Post
    One was hearing other veterans tell their story and I'd say to myself, "Man I can deal with my pain but not their pain or life."

    Each knows their own pain as well private hell. A second thing is I saw veterans with literally no legs, laying on dollies with catheters and I was truly so humbled and asked myself, "What have I got to complain about in my life?" For no matter the circumstances things could be worse. Finally my sharing of my pain but in degrees and appropriate fashion (There seems to be a right moment when the group is in harmonious fashion, wave-length as well an energy- frequency). is a source of inspiration for others.

    It seems a weird thing to say but seeing others suffering lessens your own for you gain a new life perspective and appreciation.
    Couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing your experiences... Can't imagine going through some of the stuff you have. I'm also intrigued by the fact that you were an INFP in the armed forces. Funny; for quite some time I wanted to become an operations officer for the CIA which may have placed me in some perilous situations.
    Over 40 years ago, we were passing through South Carolina - possibly on our way to Florida.
    For reasons unknown to this day, we were shot to death, execution style, on the side of a dirt road.
    We were a young couple, probably in our early to mid-20s, and may have been French Canadian.
    Our identities have never been established.
    So... Who were we?


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  6. #36
    Blessed With A Curse Schrödinger's Name's Avatar
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    I will make myself believe that I am better than anyone else. Sometimes to the point that I'll start to hate the whole human race. Why would I care about what they think of me? I might look detached, cold, not showing any emotions. A teacher once mentioned that I sometimes came off as 'arrogant'.

    I started to think this way when I was 10-11 years old. My mom made me change school again. I felt excluded, was incapable to make friends and when I finally 'found' someone their friends would destroy that relationship. (Since I was one year younger than them, they couldn't accept me in their 'group' and started to prevent their friends from interacting with me).
    This was during the time that the rain forest was being massively destroyed (I mean, it's always been the case but at that point I became aware of it). It was in the news a lot. It became my point of interest and I started to think about how bad humans actually are. You don't want to be my friend? Good, humans are shit anyways, I don't want you.
    I hate being this way tho, it definitely isn't healthy or useful.

    At other times when I feel insecure I'll just pretend to be on my phone, 'avoiding' all contact and giving myself a valid excuse for the fact that no one is interacting with me.
    Or also in the street, sometimes I feel anxious when someone is walking towards me from the other direction. I'll look at my phone, touch my hair, I'll pretend to be searching something in my backpack/pockets,...

    I'm not like this with friends or to people I like though.
    Until You Decide What Happens, Everything Is Happening At Once


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  7. #37
    ヒカラのミコト Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Armor implies a shield against what would normally have been a painful, or devastating blow. I don't know if what I have is armor, but I do know that there are many things that I consider truly trivial that try as people might, people cannot use to attack me with. There is no enduring or parrying. The blow passes through as if it was never there. If that technically still is armor, I think that is the best kind, but it's less that I have to put on anything or parry at all than the fact that those matters could never even scratch to begin with. It is a faux-proficiency. There isn't much real experience in wielding it or putting it on at all, so if a blow does miraculously hit, it is staggering. Now in that situation, the aggressor would be met with a bigger counterattack, if that even counts as armor either at all.
    恒星野神
    祓いたまえ、清めたまえ

  8. #38
    Feline Moderator The Cat's Avatar
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    Masks. Personas. An ability to disconnect from my emotions for a time. Resiliency.
    The Sleeper must awaken...

  9. #39

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    It's rare that I feel unsafe, unless it's someone or something that has real power over me. When that happens, I detach, observe and analyze or simply remove myself from its authority.
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  10. #40
    Amethyst's Queen ♚ Saturnal Snowqueen's Avatar
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    Apathy, shoving all my feelings inside, laughing things off while I'm about to have a mental breakdown. I do have a lot of clutches too; notoriously, I'll wear my headphones in public even though I don't always use them. They are stylish though, and sometimes I'll wear them in public cause of people being too noisy at a restaurant or needing to withdraw.
    Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ ᴡᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴀ
    ᴊᴏʜᴀʀɪi »»————«« ɴᴏʜᴀʀɪ

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