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  1. #11
    silentigata ano (profile) /DG/'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    haha. You're a lot younger than me though.... you'll be fine.

    (I can relate to dwelling on things sometimes not being good. I think it's important to resolve things at their root, which will require reflection, but I also think it's possible for this to become counter-productive. I think it varies by person and I think we each as individuals need to gauge where that line is.)
    Eh. I am younger, but I've been this way for a decade now. And while some interactions with people have become easier, others actually have become more difficult. I don't anticipate a change to normalcy ever. The trend is not going towards that way and I am not actively changing anything, nor do I want to. Plan to spend the rest of my life alone.
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by /DG/ View Post
    In my experience, it actually does NOT tend to help problems to share them. While it may temporarily feel good, all it does is get you to focus more on your own flaws, which in turn makes you more depressed

    I'm at my happiest when I'm just existing and trying to find that current moment of happiness rather than dwelling on my own issues. I get that not everyone is the same, but I'd wager that most people are. It isn't healthy to dwell.

    ---

    But I guess to answer the OP...

    Personally, I'm a perpetual loner. Began around puberty when I realized that I was weird and people were more adept at social interaction and appearance than me. Pushed away all of my friends at the time and turned permanently inward.

    How it affects me: Haven't had real friends since I was young (maybe 12ish). I get done with work then just go home and lounge before going to bed. Will never have a friend or significant other. Can be incredibly lonely and boring at times.

    Even if I miraculously found an SO to feel comfortable with, I also have zero libido, making me sexually incompatible with the vast majority of people on the planet.
    I hear you, amigo. I agree it is not good to dwell on things you have no control over, especially personal faults that you can’t change. But I think it’s also bad to dwell in ones state of being, especially if it’s depression inducing, and not try to do something different to break free of it. Without a libido or any kind of internal drive to identify yourself in the world I can see how difficult to impossible that would seem though. Like trying to start a car without any gasoline. Tough spot man. :/

  3. #13
    silentigata ano (profile) /DG/'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anticlimatic View Post
    I hear you, amigo. I agree it is not good to dwell on things you have no control over, especially personal faults that you can’t change. But I think it’s also bad to dwell in ones state of being, especially if it’s depression inducing, and not try to do something different to break free of it.
    I guess my point is that one can be satisfied with the position they are in if they decide to stop thinking about it and focus on the positives that exist right now. Having a good chat with your co-worker? Watching a funny TV show? Enjoying your warm mug of coffee? Don't think about any of these things. Just enjoy them and feel them now as they are. Clear your mind.

    Focus on these things instead of the position you are in. Yes, my personal flaws can sometimes cause me great unhappiness, but it's focusing on the positives right now that helps me.

    Perhaps that can't work in all scenarios, but a lot of people seem to bring themselves down by thinking too much (I'll admit I do it too). Just stop and exist.

    Without a libido or any kind of internal drive to identify yourself in the world I can see how difficult to impossible that would seem though. Like trying to start a car without any gasoline. Tough spot man. :/
    Lack of libido doesn't bother me, nor does it mean I lack internal drive. It just means I am incompatible with 99% of people sexuality-wise, so I can never have a significant other. So in ways lack of libido is both a good and bad thing in my case.

    I have life goals and things I want to do, but I have to make do with doing them alone is all.

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