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  1. #11
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    Yes, I would say this definitely resonates with me. Who I am when I am doing well, and who I am when I am not experience very different landscapes, and a stark difference is when I am not doing well I can not tamp down my feelings properly. I deal with one, another appears, and eventually they unground to the point where there is no thought connected to them, so no amount of thought can address them.
    this sort of suprised me at first glace, but then i thought about it more and after remembering reading your blog when you weren't doing well yes this makes sense. Also when I'm doing well it's hard for me to control my emotions, so i was like he does a better job then me and i feel the same way when I'm depressed and it's like you idiot, no just no
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:
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  2. #12
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss fortune View Post
    I'm actually one of those weirdos who's a lot more prone to the mania/mixed side of things (really prone to mixed actually... moreso than either of the others)... can't decide whether i hate to be up or down more actually... both are perfectly horrible in their own way

    I can get the feeling of depression though... like sinking slowly in a way... just slipping down with nothing to even get a grip on in any way... I genuinely want to die even though I know intellectually that everything is actually fine and that there are things to look forward to, I just can't shake the desire to kill myself because the feeling is so... there

    guess I can't really put it in words, but my rational side runs up against things it can't understand or budge... so yes, I kind of get the article
    Is it like when I'm in a psychosis part of me is like there's no way this is real but another part of me is what if it is? then the what if is becomes oh that is defiently true?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:
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  3. #13
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    This seems right to me. It was worse when I was younger. A lot of my issues started at 10 years old or so and the onset of puberty just made me highly volatile. It was difficult to find a balanced emotional state. A calmness.

    I suppose perhaps my tendency to get angry was my ‘up’ phase? It was really terrible when I was a teen. I never hurt anyone physically (well a couple of fights). I’d say awful things though. The kind of personal things you can cut someone with deeply. Or I’d utterly destroy something. Usually something of mine but I’d decimate whatever it was. I’m so glad that level of impulsivity dropped off. I also learned to discipline myself and refrain from saying those things you can’t retract that destroy friendships. The momentary pleasure of lashing out is gone in an instant and you’re left with a chasm of regret and a destroyed relationship.
    I think when you're impulsive I was impulsive and reactive when I was younger eventually you learn to tone it down, because you get sick of driving people away and the consequences at least that's how it was for me.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:
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  4. #14
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    tbh i thought this was an interesting article, but i guess no one else did, oh well this was a bust.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:

  5. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    tbh i thought this was an interesting article, but i guess no one else did, oh well this was a bust.
    It was interesting. And lots of people who are diagnosed aren’t willing to admit it to others and themselves. Even showing interest in the subject might make them nervous. Thank you for posting this. :hi:
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  6. #16
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    It was interesting. And lots of people who are diagnosed aren’t willing to admit it to others and themselves. Even showing interest in the subject might make them nervous. Thank you for posting this. :hi:
    yeah but they could lie and say they have a friend who is.
    In no likes experiment.

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    i dunno what else to say so :hi:

  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    yeah but they could lie and say they have a friend who is.
    My neighbor’s cousin’s aunt’s uncle may be bipolar. Or maybe it was his Siamese Fighting Fish?
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  8. #18
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    My neighbor’s cousin’s aunt’s uncle may be bipolar. Or maybe it was his Siamese Fighting Fish?
    sounds legit
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so :hi:
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  9. #19
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    I have both bipolar and borderline personality disorder, so quite honestly my emotions are just flat out always hard to regulate. I can be in the middle of a manic episode and something triggers the borderline and suddenly I go from an 8 to a 0 and then when that passes I may go back to a 7 or 8 again. One of the patterns I have noticed though is that with borderline there's a certain impulsivity to the emotions, like 0 to 100 driving off of a cliff, and bipolar feels like some longer lasting deep pit I'm dragged down into.

    I don't know how to explain it, I've just gotten better at telling episodes apart over time. With bipolar I will feel like I'm just sinking out of nowhere, no trigger. There's also more pain involved probably.

    I lack the guidance of professionals, these are just my own observations of my patterns...I could be mixing things up a little.
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  10. #20
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    After further observation of myself I realized I still do relate to this despite having emotional dysregulation outside of it.
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