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  1. #71
    Phase-shifted beam Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bush Did 9/11 View Post
    Nonverbal, subtle communication exists. But of course it's generally better to verify what you think you've picked up on before you roll with it; before assigning it more of a foundation than it actually has and architecting on top of that. Plowing full steam ahead based on unverified assumptions made about another person, in a way that nontrivially affects that person, is especially egregious because it involves another human being.
    Exactly. There is another aspect to this as well. Say a person is feeling something or preoccupied by something that they really want to keep to themselves, and they are doing their best to do so, but some especially perceptive or skilled person is able to surmise that anyway. IME this is little better than having that person read their journal, or eavesdrop on their phone conversations. It is none of their business, and they should pretend it doesn't even exist.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bush Did 9/11 View Post
    Maybe I'm overexaggerating, but I personally have a complex about being misunderstood or misrepresented in the first place and I don't think I'm alone.
    I wouldn't call it a complex, but I do take note of it and especially how often it happens. It bothers me only when it interferes with something I am trying to do, or comes from a good friend or someone who I would have expected to understand me better.
    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha
    Likes Tilt, Bush liked this post

  2. #72

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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    Check out this ten question test, relative to your ability to read/enact body language. My results were 10/10 first try.

    Are you fluent in body language? – quiz | Guardian Small Business Network | The Guardian
    10/10, but honestly I find these sorts of questions too reductionist. For several of them I knew what the answer should be, but disagreed with it to some extent because it's too simplified. For example, if someone pulls a double handshake (and I do not have an established rapport with them) I will not trust the much and keep a distant and critical eye. It's frequently not genuniely used. There is so much more nuance.
    Likes Metis liked this post

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    Vibes are non-verbal cues.

    If members don't do decently well on this easy quiz, they likely shouldn't be in reliance on their ability to understand body language.
    Oops.. I meant body language. I am above average on pure body language but much better picking up on vibes.

  4. #74

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    10/10, but honestly I find these sorts of questions too reductionist. For several of them I knew what the answer should be, but disagreed with it to some extent because it's too simplified. For example, if someone pulls a double handshake (and I do not have an established rapport with them) I will not trust the much and keep a distant and critical eye. It's frequently not genuniely used. There is so much more nuance.
    I don't disagree with what you're stating but you're conflating intentions with results.

  5. #75
    Phase-shifted beam Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hard View Post
    10/10, but honestly I find these sorts of questions too reductionist. For several of them I knew what the answer should be, but disagreed with it to some extent because it's too simplified. For example, if someone pulls a double handshake (and I do not have an established rapport with them) I will not trust the much and keep a distant and critical eye. It's frequently not genuniely used. There is so much more nuance.
    I got 6/10, but only because I have heard often enough what people are "supposed" to do. Several points also just relate to general professionalism in the sense of not providing a distraction from your main point. Sure - that is body language, too, but more like making sure the litter is picked up.
    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha

  6. #76
    I'm too sad for pants. Z Buck McFate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Yes, because the beginning of the sentence (what I highlighted) was what I stated here. Reading anything else into it is not supported by my actual words. Now if you think it contradicts something I wrote elsewhere, it is fair to point that out and ask me to explain the apparent contradiction. You have done this before if I recall correctly, and I have no objection to doing so.

    Point being: what I wrote here is exactly what I meant to say here, no more, no less.
    Okay, I think I figured out at least part of the communication fail here. I expressed the following poorly:

    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    What I liked about this clip as an example though (the part that starts at :56) is that the guy's reaction to the latte is a very clear and pronounced example of nonverbal communication. I want to say that most people will see the internal dialogue I described when watching him, and I feel confident saying "most" would be accurate, but to be on the safe side I said "more people than not." But it's very clear. I mean no offense to @Coriolis when I say this: I think discussing it further with anyone who sees it as an irrational leap would be akin to pursuing an argument about the existence of "red" with someone who is colorblind.
    I started out the paragraph talking about that specific clip I posted, and so the "it" in the bolded sentence probably seems in reference to that specific clip. In my head, I meant "it" to mean the significance of nonverbal communication - the topic of the thread, not the clip. No one has implied any such thing (irrational leap) about green tea latte man. No one would dare. For he has touched all of our hearts, and made me personally take a closer look at the direction my life is headed.

    But anyway, "it" was regarding the bigger topic of the thread.


    Also, I got 9/10 on the quiz. I missed the hand shake question. Hand shakes give me the creeps.
    Reality is a collective hunch. -Lily Tomlin

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  7. #77

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    Quote Originally Posted by Consilience View Post
    Oops.. I meant body language. I am above average on pure body language but much better picking up on vibes.
    Same difference. That said, IMSO, vibes might be more targeted towards microexpressions.

  8. #78
    Phase-shifted beam Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Z Buck McFate View Post
    Okay, I think I figured out at least part of the communication fail here. I expressed the following poorly:



    I started out the paragraph talking about that specific clip I posted, and so the "it" in the bolded sentence probably seems in reference to that specific clip. In my head, I meant "it" to mean the significance of nonverbal communication - the topic of the thread, not the clip. No one has implied any such thing (irrational leap) about green tea latte man. No one would dare. For he has touched all of our hearts, and made me personally take a closer look at the direction my life is headed.

    But anyway, "it" was regarding the bigger topic of the thread.
    That is how I interpreted it as well, with the green tea video just one example.
    Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha

  9. #79
    Poking the poodle Frosty's Avatar
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    7/10.

    I suck at this. Too many MAYBE choices. Like the first one. My first thought is oh yeah thats a warm gesture... but also probably the warm gesture of someone who is confident enough to be the dominant one. I mean.

    This quiz is under protest imo.

    Too many possible interpretations.

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    Same difference. That said, IMSO, vibes might be more targeted towards microexpressions.
    Ahhh... I differentiate the two because for example, you can't get a feel for body language through texting/phone calls/online dating but the way things are phrased, subtle changes in patterns can be very telling.

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