We're all secretly what we hate.

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Agree or disagree? For instance, I think I have the same sort of naïve dopiness I dislike in other people.

 

[Ace_]

Maybe in some sense, but not completely. A self aware person is not.

 

[biohazard]

No. I hate close-mindedness in other people and bigotry.

I'm anything but. I'm willing to try anything once and I like to keep my intellectuality as vast as possible. I also don't judge anyone on their differing opinions. I judge them on how they react when they're around other's differing opinions and contention ensues.

 

[á´…eparted]

Mostly no, but sometimes yes.

 

[Red Herring]

No, not if phrased like that.

We often dislike our own weaknesses in others, yes, that much is true, but only a fraction of what we dislike or hate is a part of ourselves. For example, you can abhore physical violence without being a violent person yourself.

Sometimes people knowingly or unknowingly dislike things that are connected to bad past experiences.

And then there is the opposite phenomenon where people dislike something simply because it is foreign or unknown.

 

[Cellmold]

There's an arbitrariness to this where sometimes it's true and sometimes it isn't.

The hardest part of being this (semi?)conscious creature is attempting to explain the mystery of how our passions arise and influence us towards one action over another. I doubt there is any one single perception to be had which can solve this for us; we do not appear to have developed that way.

Very often it is about trusting an intuitive leap towards decisions in cause and effect, which also involves just how far along one might be able to predict. We appear to exist in a reality of vast information, of which we are only able to perceive and interact with a minute part.

So we simplify and put set definition to hold things into focus. We have to be careful, however, not to oversimplify.

Especially when it comes to the idea of projected & hidden drives.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I hate it when I see myself engaging in behavior I dislike seeing others engage in.

 

[Yama]

There are definitely parts of me that I don't like, but the things I hate are not necessarily one of them. The things I hate are pretty specific, so...

 

[Lark]

I think this is a mistake people make from a misreading or misunderstanding of Freud and Jung.

 

[Typh0n]

I think so, yes.

Though it must be said, we aeren't always projecting hating the exact same qualities in others that we have, but something more archetypal. For example hating "bigots" is a form of hatred: people who hate "bigots" generally have some criteria of what constitutes a bigot. You hate bigots because they are hateful, though it is your own hate you hate, maybe you don't hate based on the same criteria, but hate is still there.

In other words: we hate something substanstial in others we see in ourselves, not necessarily something specific. Which makes it harder to identify and which is why so many people don't see it.

 

[Lark]

I think so, yes.

Though it must be said, we aeren't always projecting hating the exact same qualities in others that we have, but something more archetypal. For example hating "bigots" is a form of hatred: people who hate "bigots" generally have some criteria of what constitutes a bigot. You hate bigots because they are hateful, though it is your own hate you hate, maybe you don't hate based on the same criteria, but hate is still there.

In other words: we hate something substanstial in others we see in ourselves, not necessarily something specific. Which makes it harder to identify and which is why so many people don't see it.

What you're talking about is the idea of the Jungian shadow and attributing it to an other, or if you use the short hand "othering".

Its also called scapegoating, although that is a slightly different deal, only slightly.

Its badly understood, even in some of its primary sources, so I dont throw it out there much, the same as Freud's idea about the thing you repress, suppress and deny being something you can consciously claim to hate but nonetheless remains unconsciously quite the contrary, its badly understood too, cited in the wrong ways and contexts too for particular purposes.

Personally, I really dont like this thinking because it makes it impossible to take even a modestly critical position on anything, the minute you say you're not quite so sure about this or that and it sounds like a very bad idea, well, its obvious you're only saying that because the contrary is the case, you see? Its as insidious as the newspeak in big brother's 1984.

 

[Mind Maverick]

what we judge for is often what we do...sometimes it's born of insecurity, pride, envy, etc though.

one clear example is the parent-child relationship in which the two can never get along bc they're just alike. I just think a lot of times we don't WANT to see that which we hate within ourselves. and sometimes we are just flat out blind. but often times throughout my growth, when something really gets on my nerves about someone, I later find I do it myself. once I change it, I have more understanding and patietnce with people and it stops bothering me as much. so yes I strongly believe there is something to this.

 

[biohazard]

I think so, yes.

Though it must be said, we aeren't always projecting hating the exact same qualities in others that we have, but something more archetypal. For example hating "bigots" is a form of hatred: people who hate "bigots" generally have some criteria of what constitutes a bigot. You hate bigots because they are hateful, though it is your own hate you hate, maybe you don't hate based on the same criteria, but hate is still there.

In other words: we hate something substanstial in others we see in ourselves, not necessarily something specific. Which makes it harder to identify and which is why so many people don't see it.

Are you talking about projection?

 

[Lark]

Are you talking about projection?

Is projection about the shadow though?

Maybe it is, maybe its just the shadow that people project but I always thought projecting was a wider topic or idea.

Was the whole "No, you" thing not a recognition of the idea in some way.

 

[biohazard]

Is projection about the shadow though?

Maybe it is, maybe its just the shadow that people project but I always thought projecting was a wider topic or idea.

Was the whole "No, you" thing not a recognition of the idea in some way.

It can be. Jung motioned to having a "dark side" quite often and how these projections of our shadow can be outside the realm of consciousness. He seems to use the term fairly simultaneously.:

Carl Jung stated the shadow to be the unknown dark side of the personality.[4][5] According to Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to psychological projection, in which a perceived personal inferiority is recognised as a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. Jung writes that if these projections remain hidden, "The projection-making factor (the Shadow archetype) then has a free hand and can realize its object—if it has one—or bring about some other situation characteristic of its power. These projections insulate and harm individuals by acting as a constantly thickening veil of illusion between the ego and the real world.

 

[LucieCat]

Well, I guess I do get annoyed when people are too passive, won't take a stand, and won't fight for what they believe. I guess I can be a bit of a "good girl" who keeps my mouth shut and doesn't stand up for what I think is right at times. I can be dismissive of hatred at times when I think it's intolerable. I can be indecisive and wishy-washy, I play devil's advocate a lot of flat out refuse to take a stand. There are times I should speak up when I don't.

However, what I really can't stand is disrespectful people. I'm usually fairly respectful (which feeds into how I act). Maybe a bit too nice and respectful. But I can sometimes be caustic and completely disregard people who I have deemed to be irredeemable. Still, I think I have more respect for others than a lot of people do.

It's an interesting thought.

 

[magpie]

I think this is something which is universally true. It's just one of those human things, and both because it's not always literal and because people can have a hard time acknowledging it, it's easy to deny due to lack of awareness. What you hate most about others is usually what you hate most about yourself, and that's what makes it worth hating in others. If you didn't hate it in yourself, you wouldn't hate it in others.

 

[magpie]

And, as an added note, the stronger your hate of it in others is, the more blind you become to the part of it that's in you, because you've built up so much hate for it that it would destroy your self image to acknowledge it in yourself. This is the loop of projected self loathing people get locked into, and it results in all sorts of rationalizations and extremist behaviour.

 

[magpie]

Also also, why is the poll timed?

 

[Typh0n]

Are you talking about projection?

I think so, yes.

I also think this is related to the concept of the shadow brought up by Survive and Stay Free. (Sorry I can't find the "and" symbol on my keyboard so I can't tag you).