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  1. #1
    Member Lead Guitar Wankery's Avatar
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    Question What do YOU get out of socializing?

    What specific benefits do you get? Detail is welcome and appreciated.
    Do not assume.
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  2. #2
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    I get an immediate high. I get to know how the other person is feeling, and I get to form a relationship, and I get to reflect on it afterwards.
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  3. #3
    Scary old man OldFolksBoogie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lead Guitar Wankery View Post
    What specific benefits do you get? Detail is welcome and appreciated.
    First, a bit of preface:

    When I was in the military, I got put in charge of squads and platoons. Having to put everyone to work on a big task was a headache for me. There were a lot of people who did half-assed work, and I didn't want to have to spend all my time running around yelling at them to do their job right. I couldn't fire them or get rid of them, and I couldn't just leave them idle on the sidelines and make the good workers carry the whole load by themselves.

    In time, though, I learned that everyone is good at something. As I got to know the bad workers better, I learned what they were good at and could usually find a niche for them where they would perform reasonably well. Across time, watching each of them as individuals and looking for their strong points, I could have the entire squad or platoon functioning effectively in some capacity. Also, I learned not to be a perfectionist. You work with what you've got. If your workforce isn't a good match for the job, then you do the best you can and accept that the result isn't going to be perfect.

    So that's how I look at people today. When I start socializing with a new group of people, I accept that not all of them are going to be a good fit in my life. But I try to find out their strong points, try not to be a perfectionist, and try to figure out some way or place that they might fit into my life. And sooner or later I can usually find some way to enjoy their company and make them a friend.

    That kind of mental/social exercise keeps me from getting cynical and viewing people in terms of herds of uninteresting people. It pulls me out of my head, makes me focus on people as individuals, and makes me pay attention to them in order to figure out their best qualities. I go along with them, try out the things they enjoy, and have some new experiences.

    So that's my response. When I'm getting bored or feeling closed in on myself, I just start hanging around with a group of people and seeing what I can learn about them. It keeps me on my toes and exposes me to new things. It also renews my faith in humanity when I can find points of common interest with just about anyone sooner or later.
    Doin' the old folks boogie
    And boogie we will
    'Cause to us the thought's as good as a thrill
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4y4asj3sjM
    (Formerly YUI)

  4. #4
    Parody Parrot
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    small talk : a feeling of dread and feeling outlandish
    meaningful, usually one on one conversation : feeling rejuvenated, optimistic, hopeful and less lonely
    "I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers" ~ Nick Cave

  5. #5
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    This is hard to answer for myself since my social encounters are so few and far between outside of a work context.

    Generally, given the mismatch I have with the surrounding culture, I usually get a headache. I just find I want something different to most of the people I interact with and have ideas and topics that others are either indifferent to or are somehow repulsed by.

    This is not to say my ideas and topics are better, just.... different (waves hands like West Anderson's version of Fantastic Mr Fox).

    When it does click though, it's energising and revitalising. I feel alive and my brain is on fire and I'm learning things and enjoying life.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.
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  6. #6
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Small talk/socially expected conversing is anywhere from boring to excruciating, depending on the people involved.
    Good conversations with one or two people can be interesting, fulfilling and exciting.

    Overall, I'm not drawn to socializing but I don't avoid it the way I did when I was younger. It has it's merits and positives and participating is healthy.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  7. #7
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    For me, socialization is a way to gather information about people and the world at large. It's also a useful outlet for making the world a better place. If I can brighten someone's day when I talk to them in some way, then I feel like the world is a happier place at that moment in time. I have a knack for lifting people's spirits in the moment. It sounds cliche and corny, but I have legitimately been called a "ray of sunshine" on multiple occasions. I'm also just generally interested in people and how they think and function. I also love how a person's eyes light up when they are talking about something they love and are passionate about. It can be literally anything, even something I don't particularity like. However, I love seeing the passion and enthusiasm others have.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Ace_'s Avatar
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    It feels good if the right people are involved and you get information that you would never get if you stayed at home.

  9. #9
    Face tattoo sold separately A-a-ron Carter's Avatar
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    Small talk: I get no benefit from this whatsoever. I do recognize that social conventions dictate that this is necessary to some degree, and as I've gotten older I've become more adept at "playing the game", but I can't help but so unenthusiastically.

    More meaningful, engaging discussion: This type of interaction I find very energizing -- I find alternate perspectives and ideas enriching as it provides new information to both cross-reference against and potentially modify how I perceive a particular idea -- as my own thoughts tend to get stale if they sit in my head idle for an extended period of time, interaction on this level provides a new platform for my mind to explore.


    Edit: Ughhhh. This post sounds so terribly prententious on my behalf.
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  10. #10
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    Socializing is the best source of stimulating entertainment!
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