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  1. #41
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    Absolutely right. And my feelings - immediate or otherwise - are none of anyone's business, especially not someone I have just met. There are plenty of other things to discuss, and if someone disagrees, then we probably have no need to be conversing.
    My bet is that. while you are being defensive you are revealing your emotional state.

  2. #42
    Vulnera Sanentur Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mole View Post
    My bet is that. while you are being defensive you are revealing your emotional state.
    Sorry, neither.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
    Likes N/A liked this post

  3. #43
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    Sometimes; there is food...
    ...Because I'm Mr. Brightside.


    Oh, we're always all right. You remember that. We happen to other people.

  4. #44
    courage, dear heart ♥ DulcetRefrain's Avatar
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    I am no bird, and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.

    I was quiet, but I was not blind.
    I would always rather be happy than dignified.
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  5. #45
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DulcetRefrain View Post
    Good point DR; there is also sometimes booze.
    ...Because I'm Mr. Brightside.


    Oh, we're always all right. You remember that. We happen to other people.
    Likes DulcetRefrain liked this post

  6. #46
    Senior Member Novella's Avatar
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    Joy, for the most part, when socialising with family and close friends. Drained and anxious with others. Abhor small talk, it's meaningless to me although realise it's a neccessary evil in a working environment. It makes me close up and ends badly for the most part with people thinking I am rude or awkward - possibly both which perpetuates the cycle. I've been working on it but it's not a skill which will be mastered any time soon.

  7. #47
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Everything .
    As an ENFJ, socialization makes me. I said it somewhere else on TypeC a long long time ago that people, and interactions with people, help ENFJ puzzle piece together their core. We match up the relevant bits of information from others with what is relevant within ourselves. It's not something that just starts at us. It's how we form a better internal world, which helps us be a better pillar for that external and social world.
    For me, it rejuvenates me. I feel more purposeful and energized. Otherwise, I fall really deep into the gap of existential crisis and "Why bother". I'm also not the sort that wants to do a lot sans people. Even if I consider traveling, I think about *who* I would want to share the experience with, and not just where I'd like to go for myself.

    I can easily see other types not getting as much out of it, or feeling a large desire or need to socialize.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.



    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  8. #48
    The Art of Transformation Aerix's Avatar
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    There are a lot of things, I really can't name them all, and it can vary from interaction with one person to another...but one of my favorites is being able to explore the world cognitively with someone.
    Last edited by Aerix; 01-23-2018 at 07:47 AM. Reason: revised to make it better.
    PHOENIX
    “But the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself. ... You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes?” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
    "Woe to the thinker who is not the gardener but only the soil of the plants that grow in him." ― Friedrich Nietzsche

  9. #49
    Softserve Ice Cream Agent Washington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YUI View Post
    Disclaimers
    --This is a small-talk system that I use. I culled it from a few self-help books and it has helped me considerably. I'm not claiming that it's the best system ever, or that it should be used by everyone. I'm just putting it out there in case anyone might feel they need help bolstering their small talk skills. But if forum members are already satisfied with their existing small talk skills, then they should continue doing whatever is working for them and ignore my advice.

    --Also, whole self-help books have been written on the subject of how to do small talk, socialize, and mingle. So I won't get into a lot of background or explanations of why the experts prefer one way of doing things over another; the post will run too long. I'll just lay out a bunch of tips with little or no background, and readers can pick and choose whatever they think might work for them.
    Thank you for the post, those are some great ideas. The problem that I seem to encounter is that sometimes, when I ask a question, the answer I get is very short and then it falls into some kind of weird awkward limbo. This happens often enough that any chances of second session of small talk is out of the question. I seem to get most mileage out of somehow stumbling into "deep" conversations, but that is useless for networking and is extremely rare. Does that happen to you often, and what do you do about it?
    There's no love in fear.
    - Tool

    Do we want to remind you of something? Yes: the world is good and we belong here.
    - Richard Siken

  10. #50
    Vulnera Sanentur Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Truth Seeker View Post
    There are a lot of things, I really can't name them all...but my favorite is being able to explore the world cognitively with someone.
    When that can actually happen, it is a rare treat. A smorgasbord for someone who has been subsisting on granola bars and V8.

    Quote Originally Posted by agentwashington View Post
    Thank you for the post, those are some great ideas. The problem that I seem to encounter is that sometimes, when I ask a question, the answer I get is very short and then it falls into some kind of weird awkward limbo. This happens often enough that any chances of second session of small talk is out of the question. I seem to get most mileage out of somehow stumbling into "deep" conversations, but that is useless for networking and is extremely rare. Does that happen to you often, and what do you do about it?
    In such cases, you are probably talking to someone like me. I try to shut that sort of thing down quickly, unless I have some specific reason to pursue it. Now if you open with something more interesting than standard small talk, my curiosity is more likely to be piqued, and you will get a more substantive reply, with the likelihood of more.
    Last edited by Coriolis; 01-22-2018 at 11:12 AM.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...
    Likes Aerix liked this post

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