LightSun
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2009
- Messages
- 1,106
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- #9
Communication:
"What is your communication style? Are you a nicey-wisey person or speak on what's on your mind? What change would you implement or change in how you handle conflict?"
“Empathy is the gel of the human species. Without empathy and emotion, I do not know if the human species could work together. We are part of one. The empathy is the gel that binds us so that we can work together on mutually exclusive goals, yet get our independent needs met as well. Without it we would be at constant war with one another, and if you say that is the current state of affairs, it is because we have not learned the art and skill of empathy yet in our home life, school as well as professional environment.
One day we will awaken and understand the profound nature of this fact, learning to work together in harmony as well understanding. I shall focus on ignorance. Why can't we eradicate ignorance? Why are we as a species fragmented? Why do we only see through slivers of reality? Why can't we see the big picture? I've stated before that this is like a comic joke on all of us. So how do we heal? We rely on each other. We learn how to communicate without distortions. Learn to communicate. Learn to respect each other.
I am disturbed on the forum of the language and negativity at times. Of course I don't hold on to it. I let it go, each to their own. It is all perception. I must concentrate on MY journey. I guess that is a key to world peace. Allow others to be themselves. We each have a journey. We learn on the way. Together, we can gain an understanding. Yes, this is one of the reasons I am for rational dialogue with facts, statistics, and personal stories and do an utmost to use positive energy dialogue vs. arguing with labels and the use of pejoratives which is negative energy and totally in a self-defeating fashion blinding one to their own path.
The total irony is that both may be right, but in a limited fashion. How none of the blind men in the elephant parable is exactly wrong unless he insists he has the whole picture. The team member who can use emotional intelligence can help sort out the rational and reasonable points from both sides. The project, endeavor, or undertaking can move forward vs. stuck in a senseless quagmire. I believe just like we have a genetic blueprint in our DNA, there also is a blueprint for reason there. This is why on the sites I have been on, I have been non-argumentative and non-defensive.
What I wrote is right or perhaps not. I listen to critical reasoning, facts, objective truths and logic. I greatly appreciate precision in thought and reason has helped me refine a point on how I say things.
Conversely, what the other person says is either right or wrong. A key is reason versus negativity. I have already stated that a negative, angry, blaming approach is distorted. Still I am on a path. I try to learn from someone more enlightened than myself. But, if I am further on the path, I still can learn from others who may not be so far on the path.
This is why, with an angry individual I still strive to find some truth in their statement. I will then dialogue with that person. We will communicate on that element of truth or reason. Thus dialogues, communication, possibly respect and even friendship can be established. Hopefully, the other can learn from me and so I help a fellow sojourner on the path. One needs be open to discuss anything. Without challenge to one’s belief system there is no growth. If at least one is of the party is open, that person can learn from the experience. I personally like, love, and am attracted to deep, heavy, mature, intelligent, and insight oriented conversations, discussions, and philosophies.
I like to learn and grow. I've stated how I get high on endorphins due to insights. These kinds of conversations are hard for me to come by. Most people are wrapped up in their lives and are too busy to think. Others have defense mechanisms that make it hard to have meaningful conversations. Others are just not made for it, they have other talents. I try to behave as some bridge builder. I don't argue, rather I reflect another individual view point and try finding some decent common ground.
Obviously it isn't easy especially with an irrational being not of some understanding with respect, open-mindedness, and difference in opinions and unique view in reality. We all have a starting point, and that is we do not know it all. I mean this in a non-facetious way. There is erroneous (1) knowledge, (2) beliefs in our system. We can't but grow but with the feedback of others preferably in a non-argumentative way. If you are arguing you generally state the same position over and over. There is no listening and no give and take.
Others can state both what they feel and what they think. This then is where a person generally may not change, but may grow. This is where one can heal and self-actualize, if they have the courage to listen and process. This is to me as well. I have learned a lot. Apparently On our journey's we need two types. Type one that reinforces us, rejuvenates us and inspires us. We must also deal with unpleasant experiences that force us to examine our core beliefs and either strengthen them or modify the position we hold. But ideally it takes two intelligent and rational people willing to learn.
Along the path we will find those that try our patience and fortitude of spirit. Yet, I believe there is the possibility of synergy here and hopefully we both grow. We have an adult, honest, semi-professional relationship. Now let us look at the flip side. We have both witnessed useless argumentative wars because egos were not strong enough to listen and process, as well as use critical thinking. There may be a disagreement between us but we are sensible.
We listen. It is either true or not according to our sensibilities. (3). "...me that the person on the path who is quite dissimilar might have much to teach us." I concur. Remember what I said it takes at least one individual willing to keep a door open. But if the other party is totally distorted it takes an extreme amount of work to build a bridge of understanding and trust. With diligence there is much to learn. There is a saying by the ancient ones. We have two ears and one mouth, therefore for some there is an endeavor for listening and reflection before speaking.
I think this is a very wise saying indeed. I would think it would benefit the world if we could but be taught this most rudimentary and basic of human interaction skills. An important tool in human dialogue and learning is the art of true human communication. This is of utmost importance for peace, and knowing a more rational as well a loving attitude when communicating with other human beings. We learn how to communicate effectively. It seems our ego's and defense mechanisms get in the way and kick in automatically before we even have a basic understanding of where the other person is truly coming from.
We all have truths. We just need to listen to them. It is special in communicating with a person who speaks the same "language" you do. It can be very intoxicating. I now have a soul mate. I am in a quest of discovering members of a soul group. This way synergy is built and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. I want to learn, grow, and finally one day actualize. This is done in a circle of close and intimate friendships. If One can not dialogue with a person if they are projecting and being negative.
Unbeknownst to them they are projecting their own unfinished business, issues and unresolved conflicts which have become triggered. The miraculous power of projection is a phenomenon. Those that learn this lesson have a stepping stone toward wisdom and the freedom of the soul to soar to heights that are quite unimaginable. Do you wish to know an inkling of the core "you?" Then answer the question, filling in a blank space. "People are..."
Based on your answer it defines yourself, for you will project a piece of your self. We happen to project realities on to the big screen called life so by answering the question you end up and define yourself. A person gets the glimmer of another person's soul. I really try cognizant of what I say, write and communicate. If I say toward another person, "You’re such an idiot." It really is disgraceful reflection of myself. If I say to you, "I admire your intelligence." It is the intelligence within my own self recognizing a kindred person as a mirror. A person’s inner reality contains at least two areas where science can be erroneous. (4)The person's biases, prejudices, stereotypes, and ignorance are caused by fear and superstition.
(5) We are a product of what we learn. If what we learned is erroneous, we start out of the wrong gate. Our preconceived theories can lead us astray and make us look in the wrong direction “We all have the capacity to be rational. No one’s opinion should be discounted for they are angles of the truth which all of us have the capacity to see in part. Only by an attempt to put the pieces together can we see a glimmer of a real truth versus using our opinion which has distorted parts. The caveat about searching for real truth is if one is overcome with anger and negative feelings then their view about reality is more easily discounted.
We have a tendency to project our realities unto others and real life situations. For every situation (which is truthfully a generalization) there are 100 options, 100 reasons and 100 variables. We are very complex beings. We must, absolutely keep an open mind. Misperceptions can arise in daily use with our language. In one sense we live in both the interrelated reality of mankind, but yet in another each of us is a self-contained universe. What we hear is colored not with truth but rather our personal history.
Peopel will misinterpret to their own devising (unconscious) not hearing another's soul. To listen is a gift and as well a trait in need of developing. Our words will indeed damn ourselves. How do words affect us? How the word is delivered, in another words tone and modulation can affect us either negatively or positively. In addition we are creatures of habit. Growing up we see how our peers and parents for the most part have a biggest influence. How they react determines how we act. This is unless we learn emotional discipline as well the use of critical thinking and objective reason.
I can envision a society where verbal negativity, is a sure sign of mental illness. Verbal abuse is a crime. It is a crime against the soul, especially to children. I'll say that again, verbal abuse is a crime against everyone, but especially to children. As adults we have a hopefully greater sense of self. We have more coping aptitudes. Children are our most profoundly prized, precious gift. For us to abuse a child is a crime. Words spoken in the most profound Ignorance can condemn a child, now an adult to crime, substance abuse, mental illness human misery
'A difference of opinion doesn't necessitate one or the other is wrong' "When I run into situations like this (6) People live in separate perceptual realities. (7) Based on Myers Briggs for a start point we have awareness of people's different styles in thinking and their conceptualizing the universe we are part of. There is range and polarization of the human species. Because of peoples personality complex differences, orientations and views it necessitates that people will strive for different tangibles plus intangibles of life. Along with the determined makeup of an individual personal characteristics and traits in personality style are the peoples different skill levels, attributes, characteristics, talent, avocation, and individual personality.
(8) Semantics, I have in my personal life found that conflicts or difference of people's opinions at root a fundamental truth lies. The lesson, Each walks an independent path. What is right for one in no shape or manner dictates that it is right for another unique person on their own quest in life. Finally I in various writings said we all have portion of truth. I've often said it takes two people to have an argument. While one is beating their head senselessly on the North wall the other is senselessly beating their head on the South wall. Both are repeating over and over the same thing without listening to the other person.
In communication state your position, maintain boundaries and walk away if the other person is saying nonsensically something without substance. To be offended is a sign of your false ego being triggered. Rise above for it is an illusion. The other person defines them self from their irrational stand and you are accountable for what you say and how you act. Take the high road or walk or the lesser road. Know this however you are fooled by illusion and the wounding of your false ego which is not your true self."
"What is your communication style? Are you a nicey-wisey person or speak on what's on your mind? What change would you implement or change in how you handle conflict?"
“Empathy is the gel of the human species. Without empathy and emotion, I do not know if the human species could work together. We are part of one. The empathy is the gel that binds us so that we can work together on mutually exclusive goals, yet get our independent needs met as well. Without it we would be at constant war with one another, and if you say that is the current state of affairs, it is because we have not learned the art and skill of empathy yet in our home life, school as well as professional environment.
One day we will awaken and understand the profound nature of this fact, learning to work together in harmony as well understanding. I shall focus on ignorance. Why can't we eradicate ignorance? Why are we as a species fragmented? Why do we only see through slivers of reality? Why can't we see the big picture? I've stated before that this is like a comic joke on all of us. So how do we heal? We rely on each other. We learn how to communicate without distortions. Learn to communicate. Learn to respect each other.
I am disturbed on the forum of the language and negativity at times. Of course I don't hold on to it. I let it go, each to their own. It is all perception. I must concentrate on MY journey. I guess that is a key to world peace. Allow others to be themselves. We each have a journey. We learn on the way. Together, we can gain an understanding. Yes, this is one of the reasons I am for rational dialogue with facts, statistics, and personal stories and do an utmost to use positive energy dialogue vs. arguing with labels and the use of pejoratives which is negative energy and totally in a self-defeating fashion blinding one to their own path.
The total irony is that both may be right, but in a limited fashion. How none of the blind men in the elephant parable is exactly wrong unless he insists he has the whole picture. The team member who can use emotional intelligence can help sort out the rational and reasonable points from both sides. The project, endeavor, or undertaking can move forward vs. stuck in a senseless quagmire. I believe just like we have a genetic blueprint in our DNA, there also is a blueprint for reason there. This is why on the sites I have been on, I have been non-argumentative and non-defensive.
What I wrote is right or perhaps not. I listen to critical reasoning, facts, objective truths and logic. I greatly appreciate precision in thought and reason has helped me refine a point on how I say things.
Conversely, what the other person says is either right or wrong. A key is reason versus negativity. I have already stated that a negative, angry, blaming approach is distorted. Still I am on a path. I try to learn from someone more enlightened than myself. But, if I am further on the path, I still can learn from others who may not be so far on the path.
This is why, with an angry individual I still strive to find some truth in their statement. I will then dialogue with that person. We will communicate on that element of truth or reason. Thus dialogues, communication, possibly respect and even friendship can be established. Hopefully, the other can learn from me and so I help a fellow sojourner on the path. One needs be open to discuss anything. Without challenge to one’s belief system there is no growth. If at least one is of the party is open, that person can learn from the experience. I personally like, love, and am attracted to deep, heavy, mature, intelligent, and insight oriented conversations, discussions, and philosophies.
I like to learn and grow. I've stated how I get high on endorphins due to insights. These kinds of conversations are hard for me to come by. Most people are wrapped up in their lives and are too busy to think. Others have defense mechanisms that make it hard to have meaningful conversations. Others are just not made for it, they have other talents. I try to behave as some bridge builder. I don't argue, rather I reflect another individual view point and try finding some decent common ground.
Obviously it isn't easy especially with an irrational being not of some understanding with respect, open-mindedness, and difference in opinions and unique view in reality. We all have a starting point, and that is we do not know it all. I mean this in a non-facetious way. There is erroneous (1) knowledge, (2) beliefs in our system. We can't but grow but with the feedback of others preferably in a non-argumentative way. If you are arguing you generally state the same position over and over. There is no listening and no give and take.
Others can state both what they feel and what they think. This then is where a person generally may not change, but may grow. This is where one can heal and self-actualize, if they have the courage to listen and process. This is to me as well. I have learned a lot. Apparently On our journey's we need two types. Type one that reinforces us, rejuvenates us and inspires us. We must also deal with unpleasant experiences that force us to examine our core beliefs and either strengthen them or modify the position we hold. But ideally it takes two intelligent and rational people willing to learn.
Along the path we will find those that try our patience and fortitude of spirit. Yet, I believe there is the possibility of synergy here and hopefully we both grow. We have an adult, honest, semi-professional relationship. Now let us look at the flip side. We have both witnessed useless argumentative wars because egos were not strong enough to listen and process, as well as use critical thinking. There may be a disagreement between us but we are sensible.
We listen. It is either true or not according to our sensibilities. (3). "...me that the person on the path who is quite dissimilar might have much to teach us." I concur. Remember what I said it takes at least one individual willing to keep a door open. But if the other party is totally distorted it takes an extreme amount of work to build a bridge of understanding and trust. With diligence there is much to learn. There is a saying by the ancient ones. We have two ears and one mouth, therefore for some there is an endeavor for listening and reflection before speaking.
I think this is a very wise saying indeed. I would think it would benefit the world if we could but be taught this most rudimentary and basic of human interaction skills. An important tool in human dialogue and learning is the art of true human communication. This is of utmost importance for peace, and knowing a more rational as well a loving attitude when communicating with other human beings. We learn how to communicate effectively. It seems our ego's and defense mechanisms get in the way and kick in automatically before we even have a basic understanding of where the other person is truly coming from.
We all have truths. We just need to listen to them. It is special in communicating with a person who speaks the same "language" you do. It can be very intoxicating. I now have a soul mate. I am in a quest of discovering members of a soul group. This way synergy is built and the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. I want to learn, grow, and finally one day actualize. This is done in a circle of close and intimate friendships. If One can not dialogue with a person if they are projecting and being negative.
Unbeknownst to them they are projecting their own unfinished business, issues and unresolved conflicts which have become triggered. The miraculous power of projection is a phenomenon. Those that learn this lesson have a stepping stone toward wisdom and the freedom of the soul to soar to heights that are quite unimaginable. Do you wish to know an inkling of the core "you?" Then answer the question, filling in a blank space. "People are..."
Based on your answer it defines yourself, for you will project a piece of your self. We happen to project realities on to the big screen called life so by answering the question you end up and define yourself. A person gets the glimmer of another person's soul. I really try cognizant of what I say, write and communicate. If I say toward another person, "You’re such an idiot." It really is disgraceful reflection of myself. If I say to you, "I admire your intelligence." It is the intelligence within my own self recognizing a kindred person as a mirror. A person’s inner reality contains at least two areas where science can be erroneous. (4)The person's biases, prejudices, stereotypes, and ignorance are caused by fear and superstition.
(5) We are a product of what we learn. If what we learned is erroneous, we start out of the wrong gate. Our preconceived theories can lead us astray and make us look in the wrong direction “We all have the capacity to be rational. No one’s opinion should be discounted for they are angles of the truth which all of us have the capacity to see in part. Only by an attempt to put the pieces together can we see a glimmer of a real truth versus using our opinion which has distorted parts. The caveat about searching for real truth is if one is overcome with anger and negative feelings then their view about reality is more easily discounted.
We have a tendency to project our realities unto others and real life situations. For every situation (which is truthfully a generalization) there are 100 options, 100 reasons and 100 variables. We are very complex beings. We must, absolutely keep an open mind. Misperceptions can arise in daily use with our language. In one sense we live in both the interrelated reality of mankind, but yet in another each of us is a self-contained universe. What we hear is colored not with truth but rather our personal history.
Peopel will misinterpret to their own devising (unconscious) not hearing another's soul. To listen is a gift and as well a trait in need of developing. Our words will indeed damn ourselves. How do words affect us? How the word is delivered, in another words tone and modulation can affect us either negatively or positively. In addition we are creatures of habit. Growing up we see how our peers and parents for the most part have a biggest influence. How they react determines how we act. This is unless we learn emotional discipline as well the use of critical thinking and objective reason.
I can envision a society where verbal negativity, is a sure sign of mental illness. Verbal abuse is a crime. It is a crime against the soul, especially to children. I'll say that again, verbal abuse is a crime against everyone, but especially to children. As adults we have a hopefully greater sense of self. We have more coping aptitudes. Children are our most profoundly prized, precious gift. For us to abuse a child is a crime. Words spoken in the most profound Ignorance can condemn a child, now an adult to crime, substance abuse, mental illness human misery
'A difference of opinion doesn't necessitate one or the other is wrong' "When I run into situations like this (6) People live in separate perceptual realities. (7) Based on Myers Briggs for a start point we have awareness of people's different styles in thinking and their conceptualizing the universe we are part of. There is range and polarization of the human species. Because of peoples personality complex differences, orientations and views it necessitates that people will strive for different tangibles plus intangibles of life. Along with the determined makeup of an individual personal characteristics and traits in personality style are the peoples different skill levels, attributes, characteristics, talent, avocation, and individual personality.
(8) Semantics, I have in my personal life found that conflicts or difference of people's opinions at root a fundamental truth lies. The lesson, Each walks an independent path. What is right for one in no shape or manner dictates that it is right for another unique person on their own quest in life. Finally I in various writings said we all have portion of truth. I've often said it takes two people to have an argument. While one is beating their head senselessly on the North wall the other is senselessly beating their head on the South wall. Both are repeating over and over the same thing without listening to the other person.
In communication state your position, maintain boundaries and walk away if the other person is saying nonsensically something without substance. To be offended is a sign of your false ego being triggered. Rise above for it is an illusion. The other person defines them self from their irrational stand and you are accountable for what you say and how you act. Take the high road or walk or the lesser road. Know this however you are fooled by illusion and the wounding of your false ego which is not your true self."
