Advise Giving:

[LightSun]

On the nature of advise. Those who seek it consistently and the other extreme, those who give advise whether it is asked for or not. Are you an advice giver? Do you like receiving advice?

 

[LightSun]

Advise Giving: On the nature of advise. Those who seek it consistently and the other extreme, those who give advise whether it is asked for or not. Are you an advice giver? Do you like receiving advice?

“There are a number of factors as for the giving and actually to receive advice. The first one that pops out at me is trust. Let's say you have a (1). Bond with a person and have received individual advice from this person in the past. This advice has yielded good results and has

(2). been proven sound. You now have a history of proven soundness that may push you over the fence to make a decision. Another factor is

(3). Like-ability, if you like a person you are apt to be more open and receptive to advise from this person.

Finally there is professionalism. You hear advice from a person who is (4). A expert may sway you in a direction you had no original intention of doing.

It has more impact than hearing from a person you don’t have a resonating quality your dislike colors your mood. It also makes you deaf to that person. Your dislike colors your perception, and receptiveness.” “It is a needed reality in to give reality of my own self to an advising person: it's by the name phenomenological union; that is to enter another person's head. In this way true empathy can occur. If one is outside; triggered by my honesty and react, they in fact are trying a lessening of their own anxiety and not dealing, certainly of a course not helping me.

If anything they further my pain. It unfortunately can be learned: it isn't given credence in our school systems. Thus society has no awareness of how to deal with a person's pain. A few gifted one's are of awareness. In this way true empathy can occur. Without empathy and emotion, I do not know if the human species could work together. We are part of one. The empathy is the gel that binds us so that we can work together on mutually exclusive goals, yet get our independent needs met as well.

Without it we would be at constant war with one another, and if you say that is the current state of affairs. Reason, it's because we have not learned the art and skill of empathy, yet, in our home life, school as well as professional environment (yet). One day we will awaken and understand the profound nature of this fact, learning to work together in harmony as well understanding. A friend who does possess some living enlightenment does know this actual fact. If a person tries to lessen a person's pain-they keep poison in. There is a reason; a time; place; but a person has to make their own healing journey without well-wishers. It is a compounding of pain and suffering-all unwittingly.

When one is not allowed in the expression of themselves and seeming road blocks is set up to 'tally' oh and so on, it keeps a poison in. It does not do a help of the recipient. Friend shall hold another hand but shan't rage, holler, humiliate, or have any given advice. If a trauma occurred one need get all the poison out of the system yet by their time table and not someone else. Once that is accomplished the one can acknowledge and have a thankful attitude. Only until that moment can one who has experienced dire tribulation breathe, relax and heal because you understood and allowed the venting. I have stated profoundly of full need of expression. Empathy is to get in another mind set, putting one’s own self into another perspective.

The key to understanding-you empathize usually based because of same or possibly similar life ordeal. Empathy is understanding yet may remain objective. Sympathy is feeling for another person yet contains no depth. Or for that matter understanding. An emphatic enters the others phenomenological universe (Inner-self) and thus can with understanding, wisdom and compassion lead one out of the darkness. There is a hierarchy. As an analogy conscious, subconscious and deepest unconscious. So it is with Empathy the truest of understanding.

So most able of true help. sympathy lies underneath and pity is the lowest on the totem pole. There are well-doer's that obstruct a process by projecting their reality. I'm cognizant. And fully aware (it brings bitter salt). Yet they were not trained nor have they a general emphatic true degree intuitive understanding.” “On the receiving of unasked advice I would look at intentionality. Are they saying this because they are generally concerned? In which case their expressed sentiments can be overlooked or more easily digested. This versus a person you know is not genuine in which case it can come off as a slap across the face.

Now how do you deal with them? I generally ignore them or as non-committal as possible. Because I know I am not going to change them. I can be a role model. Live up to my principles plus walk my path. In return I will let them continue to stumble and walk across their path." There is no emphasis in the school system we have as of now but a paradigm shift shall come . We are part of one. “One day we will awaken and understand the profound nature of empathy versus a projection of one’s own being thus to truly and with a sincerity learn to work with that person rather than putting up a roadblock of expressing, thus keeping a person in a painful condition far more than if they would but learn to work together in harmony as well understanding as in a symbiosis.

I always had a pet peeve for unasked for advise from advise givers. What they don't know is that they are projecting their own reality unto another's. They project their life's experiences into another unique individual with different genetic predisposition and life experiences. To give advise unasked for you are discounting the independence, uniqueness and self control of another to make indecent choices. Rare is the gift of empathy, to be able to put yourself in another's shoes. If you don't have empathy there still are listening skills to develop. Unasked for advise givers are not communicating which is a two way street. Rather they are talking at you instead of with you.

 

[Morpeko]

I don't like giving advice. I know I suck at it and I can't be assed to make that much of an effort to help other people.

I just ignore people who give advice without me asking for it.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I generally don't give advice unless someone asks for it. There are the few occasions where I have a pretty deep connection with the individual and we have already have a connected bond that allows me to know that they need direction, but other wise, I don't like forcing my "knowledge" on others without their asking for it.
As for receiving advice, I absolutely cannot stand it when others feel the need to advise me on a situation that I don't need advice on. I'm all about figuring it out for myself and can't say I ever even ask for advice from anyone in general. To me, when someone feels the need to advise me, it makes me feel like they think they know better than me. It's also hard to take advice from people who don't actually understand the situation inside out and if they don't understand how I work to some degree. Because I feel that way, I really try to make sure I don't do that to others unless asked.

 

[á´…eparted]

I have to restrain myself from giving advice a lot of the time. I've always been that way.

As for asking for advice, I do a little, but it's about 5% of what I should TBH.

 

[Merced]

I give advice all the time but I try my hardest to make sure I am using language that makes sure the advice is heard as a suggestion rather than a demand. I think I have a hard time making one not sound like the other.

I sort of wish I got more advice, then I could have more of an opinion about it.I really value constructive criticism and just hearing what others would do in my situation, but I don't think I'm close enough with anyone to just have harmless critiques shared