Decline in social skills

[SurrealisticSlumbers]

I was just talking with my dad about how people are becoming sooo wrapped up in their own little worlds and do not seem to possess any ability to interact with others these days... This seems true regardless of generation. I refuse to believe that it is just "our generation."

There's this lady who was renting the house next door to ours; lived there about a couple years, and my dad would help her out with stuff occasionally, like mowing the lawn while she was out of town (she's a single mom to a baby girl). When she moved out, she barely said a word; never came by to say her goodbyes.

Then there's the neighbors across the street. Guy borrowed a leaf blower (I think) from my dad and then when he was done with it, just left it on the front porch without even ringing the doorbell.

I get that we're not living in an episode of Little House on the Prairie, where neighbors are constantly sipping lemonade out on their lawns and chatting with each other, or holding block parties and barn raisings... It just seems like people are socially phobic or at least very awkward and lacking in social etiquette, especially when one lives nearby to each other.

We have always tried to reach out to people who have moved into the neighborhood. My parents are friendly people, but not in a creepy way.

I have (some) hope for the future. Many kids a decade or so younger than I am seem pretty nice, and when you can get them away from their multiple devices (heaven help you), very well-spoken and aware of the world at large. I do think that this upcoming generation, the "Gen Z kids" or whatever you'd like to call them, does have some issues with cultivating "real life" friendships; comprehending the difference between casual friendships (i.e. "friending" someone on a social media platform), and a person who you can call at 2 AM who actually gives a shit. [This is one of the main reasons I don't have Facebook, much less a smartphone. You will need to pry my five-year-old LG Octane from my cold, dead fingers before I "upgrade."]

Is humanity becoming more "autistic"/"schizoid" (NB: these terms not necessarily used here in a clinical sense) as we "progress" into the artificialities of a techno-centric reality?

I welcome y'all's opinions!

 

[Typh0n]

I've given this some thought before, though I never gave it serious consideration.

But I agree. Technology is causing us to lose our social interactions. I wouldn't say it causes a decline in innate social skills, since that takes thousands of years of evolution, but it does cause the part of our social skills which we have to practice regularly to become weaker. Kind of like muscles becoming smaller and weaker without excercise, though the potential to build the muscle is always there.

Not sure what else to say about it. I hope that the generation that follows the current young generation will question and reject the obsession with social media their parents had - they gotta be rebellious against something and define themselves against the previous generation, like any other generation.

 

[Falcarius]

Modern society expects people to be busy, so the world is just a different place from what it was 20, 30, 40 years ago. People are not losing their social skills but rather just not bothering to use them as they do not have to use them.

Once upon a time each city or town would have a large employer where the majority of people would work, people had secure contracts not insecure working long hours on zero hour contracts, families were more secure, they would buy their food in local shops such as butchers and fruit & veg. Ironically as society has got more connected in terms of communication and transport, it is less interconnected socially as people drive everywhere and travel further and further.

 

[Amargith]

There is a certain irony to posting this on an online forum.

I think we re just transitioning. The boom of the internet wasnt that long ago and significantly changed the world, including the way we interact.

Personally, my most intimate relationships, safe from the one i have with my mom, were formed online. And even today, that precious relationship with my mom is maintained over Skype si ce i live in another country nowadays. My life partner took me two countries over after meeting me online and becoming my best friend for a year, before we decided to build a life together.

We maintained a long distance relationship that spanned three countries and uprooted to another country where we met our new circle of friends through an online service. I have people on my facebook( and for that matter on here!) who ive told things to that i wouldnt dream of telling my family, yet ive never met them irl. Meanwhile most of my family are more like acquaintances, at this point.

You re right, of course, things are changing. And i do sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in a happy little hamlet where everyone likes and knows each other. But from what ive seen, its a myth, the way the happy traditional family is. Oh they do exist, but it isnt something that you can just make happen, or you can bank on happening as it takes a lot of factors you dont control to lign up.

Personally, i prefer to pick those who are close to me and with the modern age, geography is no longer a hindrance. I will admit that to solidify relationships,it helps emormously not to just to have common ground but also to be able to meet irl. Relationships that are purely online tend to be more fleeting, though my main and most intimate one was online for over 9 months before meeting. It is possible, provided you mimic daily life by meeting them online as regularly as you would irl. But irl hanging out does strenghten that bond significamtly afterwards, ime.

On the upside - it allowed me to escape a world of pain and change the context of my life, giving me a chance to surround myself with people who inspired my personal growth instead of those that had held me back and kept me down all my life. So, no, i dont think the modern age necesarily inspires a lack of social skills. It just opens doors and chances where peope no longer HAVE to stay in crappy situations and engage those they cannot escape.

It provides a choice in using those social skills, if they feel motivated to do so. And to maintain your distance if that is your desire - without he external pressure of resources of geography there to have to comly with. I personally am absolutely grateful for that, considering the psychological damage that kind of external pressure brough to bear on me before my escape.

It's a new age, peeps. It just takes time to figure it out and adapt, i reckon.