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  1. #61
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    I'm prone to get angry easily. My brother says I'm like the Hulk, because there's not a moment I don't have potential for rage, haha I don't get as angry as I used to, but the "pre-anger" discomfort is always there. I'm not particularly fond of being angry, but it's my way of being assertive (not a good one, I admit). When I feel I'm going to be angry, I just withdraw from people or punch a pillow, stab a stack of papaer with a pencil and that's about it. I draw or write something and I calm down. It's certainly empowering as much as it is "reckless", in the sense that you don't get to choose what comes out of your mouth at the moment. But it's therapeutic to vent without being able to think of consequences.

    I'm from a family that comes from the south of Italy, I don't know if it has something to do, but we're all "spicy" when it comes to getting angry. So, in a way, I guess that if my childhood had been different, I'd have been angry less times, but in equal amount. I tend to bottle up, which is part of my personality, regardless of good/bad life experiences.

  2. #62
    Pasta Goddess ThisName's Avatar
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    Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it?
    I have anger and I don't like it. It feels like a weakness to me, giving someone the ability to crawl under my skin like that. Anger puts me in a very bad mental state, I don't deal with it very well.

    How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state?
    If I am angry at someone close to me; by talking about it before it gets too much. If I don't do this I'll probably explode, have a burst out and later on I'll be ashamed of myself. I feel very vulnerable when I am angry.
    When I am angry at someone else I don't have a connection with I'll try to blow of some steam by ranting about it to someone I trust.

    Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger? Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive?
    I feel more like a prisoner. Though, now I am getting older I've found better ways to deal with it. I used to become very self destructive when I was angry.

    Anger is counter-productive because it's a strong, negative emotion, too strong. Only based on your perception of what reality/the truth is. Anger doesn't want to be friends with anyone, it only wants to destroy and control. It's some sort of self pity combined with aggression towards others. It makes your vision blurry. I don't think it's ever a good idea to act out of anger, to let yourself go like that.

    Though... Sometimes I think it could be good to be able to let yourself go in some way. When I am angry I feel like punching things, I'll think about punching a hole in the wall, I want to scream, to throw everything off my desk but I don't. I physically can't. I have forced myself to punch my pillow once, just to try it out, but it doesn't work. I can't let myself go like that.
    So yes, it makes me feel stuck. I also don't cry when I am angry so I can't let it out in any way.

    How does it get out of control? Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?
    I try to look through my anger. What are the underlying emotions/thoughts/feelings? Why am I feeling this way?
    When talking to the person who 'caused' my anger; I'll briefly explain how I am feeling and why. What caused me to feel like this, from my own perspective without putting the blame on them. But I'll also acknowledge that what they did made me feel a certain way, though they maybe didn't mean it like that, I'll explain how I perceived their actions and what it made me feel. I'll leave room for them to explain what they meant, what they did and why. To create perspective from both sides. With the intention to clarify things, to have a normal conversation that doesn't turn out in pointing out how shitty the other person behaved.

    How do you think your anger was made manifest? If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?
    My mother was a very explosive/temperamental person, so that definitely plays a role. Genetically and on a psychological level I guess.
    Luckily my dad was a pretty calm person, I never had extreme arguments with my dad, and if we had them it was never with shouting or screaming.

    It doesn't help anyone to behave like that. So I try to keep my shit together (I actually don't have to try very hard to do so). People will scream when they feel completely powerless, that's what my mother did. And by screaming you definitely don't gain anyone's respect.

    (Though I have to say that online I am much more 'hot-headed'. For sure if someone behaves in a denigrating way towards me. I used to have a lot of discussions online, I would seriously be shaking, my heart rate would go up as if I just had to run for my life... Yeah no, definitely not healthy. Now I try to avoid online discussions with disrespectful people. If someone starts to become childish, insulting, personal or denigratory I'll try to ignore them. Or to be the person that doesn't loose their cool and to bring the discussion to a healthy level again. Sometimes that's still hard, but it's for the best.)
    “I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.”

    - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

  3. #63
    H Y P E R B E A M Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it?
    Of course I do. I 'use' anger as a utility. It's like there's a button I can press to allow the anger to happen, or not happen (it still exists, it's just very much under control). Towards those ends, I would say it is 'useful', but I don't know if I 'like' it.

    How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state? Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger?
    Very easy; I tend to be realistic. Thinking calms me down, generally speaking, so all I have to do is 'see the reality' of the situation. An analogy I'd use is recognizing that yelling over burnt food won't un-burn it, it is useless. The anger just vanishes instantly.

    Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive?
    In my opinion, in most instances, anger is counterproductive. It's an unnecessary amount of energy and force expended which doesn't give (or necessarily guarantee) good returns. As a result, on the other hand, if I think it will give me returns, I do express/use my anger freely.

    How does it get out of control? Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?
    Extremely rarely. I have only lost control very, very few times, I can count them with the fingers of one hand. I'd say I manage anger very well.

    How do you think your anger was made manifest? If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?
    Oh, definitely. For one, I had many things to be angry about, and I was fatally encouraged in my anger. The former is very subjective though. My brother used our childhood as an example why patience is needed, but I reacted the opposite (hooray enneagram motivations!)

    "When another person is angry, one who remains mindful and calm acts for his own best interest and for the others interest, too." Buddha
    I would agree. This is more or less what I meant above. Again, if the factors of what this 'best interest' means change, it may mean that the anger would be worth it. I consider it an item in a toolbox I can access any time.

    “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” James Thurber
    Hey, this sounds flowery, but I'd say this is good advice. To elaborate, this means (or at least I take it to mean): breathe, recollect, regroup, see if the anger is justified and/or necessary. What I said above, 'see the reality'.

    "Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel the pain that lies beneath it is a very courageous thing to do."~ Gary Zukav
    I would very much agree. Sometimes, anger is misdirected intent. For example, vengeance. Remove the underlying problems and reasons, and it dissipates.
    S K Y K I N G
    I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was

  4. #64
    Primal evil Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it?

    Yes, I have much anger. I have been described as the most angry. I do not like it, because of how scared I am of myself, and what I might do. Yet I like it when in the state of rage, after letting go.

    How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state?

    Yes, I keep it well contained. But its still intense. I have had many years of practice. I rarely lose control.

    Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger?

    Yes, it fuels my motivation occassionally. I have done many things out of spite, that benefit me. So I can say its a main driving force in my life.

    Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive?

    If I lose control, I no longer care about consequences, become sadistic, and desire to "end" the source. If it happens, my life can be over very quickly.

    How does it get out of control?

    Usually when I interpret people's intensions as hostile, lying, manipulative etc. I get angry faster, it becomes a bqttle of my own rationality and impulse. I can usually restrain myself enough to get away. The problem is, is that I enjoy cutting loose. If it's unintentional or subtle, I can usually ignore it.

    Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?

    Yes, my first instinct may be to stand and fight, but I have learned verbal deescalation techniques, as well as walking away.

    How do you think your anger was made manifest?

    My upbringing was horribly unjust. I was constantly betrayed, and my boundaries destroyed. I had no space to exist and escape. I became extremly territorial over any space or things I could hold onto. Authority and attempting to control me are triggers, if one doesn't have the required amount of respect from me. As well as insults to my character, and intelligence. Ive endured years and years of non-stop harassment and beaten down for not being good or smart enough. So I can really only trust myself, and Ive kept holding on, clinging to who I thought I was. Which festered into solipsism and arrogance over the years.

    If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?

    Definately. I am defined by my upbringing. No matter how much I try to escape it. I cannot imagine how I would have turned out otherwise. Id probably be pretty outgoing, action orientated, successful etc.

  5. #65
    Senior Member 1487610420's Avatar
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  6. #66
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    Do you have anger and if you do, do you like it?
    I have it. I make it entertaining as I can. There is something inherently hilarious about anger after all.

    How can it be leveled or kept in a balanced state? Does it fuel your drive or perhaps can you be prisoner to the emotion of anger?
    Artistic Expression. I dont know if it fuels my drive or holds me captive. Rather it colors the spectrum of what is already there. Like pepper, or hot sauce on something sweet. There is a certain twisted emergence of the colors and flavors that season the human experience. That is, its perfectly complex enough to be both and neither at the same time and never.
    Why or how can anger be deadly or counter-productive?
    The mob is fickle. And seeing as how the current drive of the machine that we call society is to subjugate the droves of cow people because the machine fears us. Well anger is currently more a target you paint on your back than the useful tool it so clearly was meant to be. And so, I would say that honesty is generally counterproductive these days whether its angry or glib.


    How does it get out of control? Do you have good anger management as well the needed deescalating skills in coping with your anger?
    It happens. Mostly when Im not creating enough art. Im a good negotiator; it was something of a survival mechanism growing up the way I did. Ive learned to negotiate with myselves as well.

    How do you think your anger was made manifest? If given the circumstances your childhood was different, do you think you’d have less anger?
    I was raised by wolves. Like Mowgli. The Law of the Jungle was sort of the guiding principle. There was also quite a few Lovecraftian cursed blood line aspects as well. There is a reason the noir aesthetic has always appealed to me.
    "When another person is angry, one who remains mindful and calm acts for his own best interest and for the others interest, too." Buddha
    That is certainly a way to do it that doesn't involve bloodshed.

    “Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” James Thurber
    And if you figure out how to do it. Tell me how.
    "Choosing not to act on an angry impulse and to feel the pain that lies beneath it is a very courageous thing to do."~ Gary Zukav
    If you say so. You'll forgive me if I choose to laugh instead. Even if I have to claw my sanity out with my bare bloody hands to do it. But then, Im a romantic.
    With all due respect,
    The Cat.

    Clarity demands a certain degree of objectivity, from the world as well as the observer...

    I am Catstiel. I am an Angel of the Lord...
    I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.



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  7. #67
    Saprophytic Aphrodite Peter Deadpan's Avatar
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    For a very long time (forever?), I could easily say that I don't have anger... anger has me. But something has happened and I'm seeing an intense turning of my emotions, including anger (although that is still currently the easiest of all emotions for me to indulge in). I can't really explain it well (my head is not in the right place to do so because it's so congested at the moment that I can't really even dedicate the energy to thought), but for better or worse, I find my anger (and other emotions) losing intensity and settling at a level equal to my sternum, instead of erupting through my mouth.

    Honestly, it's frustrating, especially since I cannot yet determine if it's growth or death, but I am trying to use it as a tool toward better self-control.

    Sometimes I just shut it down, which I know isn't healthy, but I don't always have the energy to process the feeling properly because I've been constantly processing for years, and I think I just need a break.

    To be clear, the anger I'm mostly referring to is that which bubbles through my veins and has always been there... not so much anger in response to external stimuli, which although I am also better controlling is much more freely expressed and with little to no remorse (unless it affects my children or innocent bystanders). Pointed anger is a necessary form of communication.
    Perpetual mood


    "It is not the personality's task to tell the truth,
    but to seem to, try to, or try to seem to."


    Philip Trussell

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  8. #68
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    I am very prone to irritation, but not anger.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."

  9. #69
    Amethyst's Snowqueen Bismuth Blitz's Avatar
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    This is probably a 9 thing; anger is one of my main emotions, but I'm really good at containing it. Like I'm constantly irritated at life, but I don't like expressing my anger cause I don't wanna start things. I can be sassy but very rarely do I blow up at people. Even though I don't like expressing my anger, it helps me get things done and it feels empowering sometimes. It feels freeing. It gets annoying though being on edge all the time. I like to turn up metal music and pace around the room when I'm feeling angry.

    Looking at my upbringing, I'm surprised I turned out to be a 9. My mom was feisty(and she was an alcoholic, but was feisty before then), and my dad is just plain salty. I was actually an angry child, and wasn't really ninish until high school. Like I didn't start fights but would fight back and would get in trouble with teachers. I think overtime I just became ashamed of my anger and suppressed it and became a 9.
    But then came the Tongues on that terrible day
    Steadfast as winter, they entered the fray
    And all heard the music of Alduin's doom
    The sweet song of Skyrim, sky-shattering Thu'um


    ✺𝔸𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕥 𝔸𝕣𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕟, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕛𝕖𝕨𝕖𝕝 𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕, 𝕒 𝕙𝕚𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖. 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕖

  10. #70
    darkened dreams Ravenetta's Avatar
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    Maybe it means something that it feels exhausting to me to articulate an answer to each question. I'm not a particularly angry person and it exhausts me when it's forced on me. I tend to feel more anxiety than anger. I can feel rage towards cruelty, so for me it's all saved for that and almost nothing else angers me. I will go into cursing meditations towards cruel people where I grab them in my talons and drag them towards these complex energy streams and force them under and let the universe do whatever it does to them. I've been told it has an effect. I feel a kind of absolute certitude and resolve in that state. Otherwise, I'm kinda chill and will sometimes get angry but it does tend to turn into humor for me. The tension behind anger of other kinds is hilarious to me when I feel it or when I see others getting angry.
    bunny omi


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