"No problem" vs "you're welcome"

[anticlimatic]

Personally I use "my pleasure," but something about the response/point to this meme rubs my logic the wrong way. Can't quite put my finger on it. "No problem" always bothers me because it seems predicated on the notion that the thanks was unnecessary and unwanted, when I feel in almost all cases it's neither. It also seems to shift the focus from the exchange to the individual performing the exchange, and how THEY feel about it, which definitely aligns with stereotypical millennial narcissism. I don't know. Thoughts?

 

[Poki]

No burden or "anytime" is why i say "no problem". Its an invite to the person to be the same way, acceptance.

 

[Population: 1]

No problem was starting to become a thing when I was a kid, and that was quite a while ago. My mom absolutely hated the expression. I think no problem should still be used more in a personal situation than a business transaction but it doesn't concern me that much. The tone and mood of the no problem is what draws my attention. Rude is rude regardless of the terms used.

 

[Jaguar]

I frequently say "no problem." If Tom doesn't like it, he can take a hike.

 

[Dreamer]

I typically respond with a "no prob", but that's because I actually mean there was no issue in my helping you. It didn't cause any inconvenience on my end, or any trouble. I guess saying so though, is kind of not needed though if we want to get picky about it, since, if helping someone out DID cause me an inconvenience, then I wouldn't do it. Doing the action in itself should be enough, right? Well the other end of this, is that it's typically socially expected that the other person on the receiving end of a "thank you" would respond in some way. Seems silly, but alas, that's social grace for ya.

Now, the situation that is presented in this thread, where a cashier says "no problem"...umm, when would that ever happen? Sure, it can, and apparently it did, but I've always had the cashier say thank you immediately my handing them my credit card. Employee training 101.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Depends on who I am responding to and the level of familiarity with them. Sometimes it's fun to say "no problemo" in an Arnold accent.

 

[Smilephantomhive]

I say you're welcome, but it doesn't matter either way. Well I say no problem or np on the internet, but you're welcome in real life.

 

[magpie]

I say both depending on circumstance and context. If I give a gift or invite someone over to my house and they thank me, I say "you're welcome" because they're welcome to the gift and my house. If I hold a door for someone and they say thank you, I say "no problem" or "of course." And if someone's thank you is doubling as an apology, which happens sometimes even though I can't think of a specific example right now, I say "oh, no, it's fine."

 

[Poki]

When i pay $3.00 at sonic for a item that was $2.87 it just seems retarded to say thank you. I dont want to say "your welcome" as if i did something big for them. Now if i see them having a bad day and i hand them a $20 and say keep the change, i will follow up with a "your welcome" instead of "no problem".

 

[anticlimatic]

Ive noticed millennials will try to class up their "no problem" by upgrading it to a deliberately punctuated "not a problem." Marginally better thanks to the additional effort, but it still falls flat to my ears. Like, I know it wasn't a problem. It was as easy as handing me a pen and I watched you do it. Is pointing out the obvious all you've got? Do you not care either way in helping someone or being appreciated for it?

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I don't pay attention to which phrase other people say to me or what I say to them. I can remember the gist of the exchange as being positive or negative, but the specific words mean different things to different people, so I don't pay attention to it during random exchanges. I probably say "no problem" more often, but I've been thinking of going Italian and just saying "forget about it".

 

[Yay]

That doesn't make sense to me. People have different ways of saying "thank you." As long as they all mean the same thing, how they say it shouldn't matter unless it's really off (like "Thanks bitach give me my change back") It's actually frustrating that he tries to account for EVERY cashier in america, he can't just tell people how to act like he's a supreme ruler.

No need to create a problem that isn't there in the first place, there's a lot more important things to fuss over like racism, or problems that effect people on a more global scale..

 

[prplchknz]

I say thank you to people servering me or superiors or strangers and your welcome as well. Usually to friends no problem but sometimes your welcome

 

[ceecee]

I worked in phone technical support for a long time. This "no problem" phrase spoken after "thank you" was something that was not tolerated at any level. It's a flippant remark, it also conveys to the customer or client that you're doing them a favor. You are, actually. doing them a favor in many cases but they don't need to know that. So, "you're welcome" is my personal favorite. I don't like "my pleasure". The reason I don't like saying it or hearing it is that I'm a woman and it can be taken the wrong way and it almost always sounds creepy to my ears, when said to me.

 

[Qlip]

There's utility in both, sometimes you want to sound flippant, or want to emphasize this is just your job or that it wasn't a big deal at all, you say "no problem." I feel like "you're welcome" is a bit more formal and brings some punctuation to the exchange, maybe even frigidity if delivered that way. Picking one or the other is like business writing, using them in context to communicate is like poetry.

 

[Galena]

What regions are you from/do you all live in, if you don't mind saying so? I am wondering if there are regional differences in how each phrase is perceived, because my experience with the terms is very different from most of those in this thread.

 

[rav3n]

IMO, the difference would be formal vs. casual. Some also construe the 'you're welcome' as being arrogant.

 

[Totenkindly]

I think "no problem" is more casual, "you're welcome" is the more professional approach, and "my pleasure" creeps me out a bit since it feels like it has a bit of a social leer attached... or maybe that's just my silly hyperbolic imagination at work.

Still, on some level, I can't help but feel like we're overthinking. I personally interpret words more contextually versus just the words themselves, and go by the intention as much as possible versus technical definitions. I mean, I can tell you in a particular situation how I would feel with a particular response, but until then it's all got some flex... especially when I'm dealing with different generations, etc. I have heard all of these replies, and in some situations I've been fine with all three and other situations felt a bit off about each.

 

[Coriolis]

Ive noticed millennials will try to class up their "no problem" by upgrading it to a deliberately punctuated "not a problem." Marginally better thanks to the additional effort, but it still falls flat to my ears. Like, I know it wasn't a problem. It was as easy as handing me a pen and I watched you do it. Is pointing out the obvious all you've got? Do you not care either way in helping someone or being appreciated for it?

When it comes to brief, casual interactions with people like store clerks, it's all pro forma niceties anyway. It's remarkable how many clerks don't reply with ANYTHING, and don't really even pay attention to the customer while tallying up their purchases. I don't expect chattiness, indeed I dislike that, but it is both professional and efficient for the clerk to focus on the customer for the duration of the transaction. So, if I say thank you, any reasonable reply is fine: you're welcome, no problem, any time, etc. I find when a clerk says thank you to me, he/she is also often handing me something, either my change or my purchases, so I end up saying thank you as well, for the item being handed.

When replying to friends or coworkers in more significant situations, I will very much tailor the response to the situation. I tend to say "not a problem" (yes, that variant), or "any time", or "my pleasure", much more than the standard "you're welcome". Occasionally I will elaborate, as in:

Other person: Thank you for helping me do X.
Me: I'm actually glad you asked, because it gave me the opportunity to refresh my memory about how to do that myself.

 

[anticlimatic]

The difference between a creepy "my pleasure" and an uncreepy one depends on the task. Also probably eye contact. Most of my thank yous come after fixing people's shit, which I love doing, so a no eye contact "hey it was my pleasure, have a good day" as I'm walking out the door with my tool bag is the most genuine response I can offer.