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do you equate hatred with anger?

Trash Panda

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I rarely feel anger but I have an issue with feeling hateful. I don't feel it toward anyone or anything in particular it's just a general "watch the world burn" feeling. Except it's not a feeling, it's a frame of mind. When I was a little kid when I was in this frame of mind I would imagine things being on fire and it soothed me. A specific incidence, I was 10 years old, in the passenger seat of the car, going to the store. As we passed by the various buildings of my neighborhood I wwould sit and imagine everything on fire. I found it comforting, I don't know how to explain it. I used to do it al the time. And I did hurt animals a few times but I felt bad about it. My step mom and my mom always used to ask me, even as a child "why are you so hateful?" and it confuses me because I don't know what that even means. This isn't trolling btw, I'm being 100% serious. As a child I for real did this.

Im not a psychopath, I love people and animals. I have this obsession with destroying and hurting things but then I feel bad about it later if I act on it. But I feel an over whelming compulsion to do it sometimes. Anyway the point is, a lot of people say "you need to let go of your anger" but I don't feel anger. So anyway I don't think this is that unusual, but I just have a hard time understanding what "hate" is. The only way I can describe it is it's like a cold empty feeling in my mind. A cold dumb feeling.

Thoughts?
 

Trash Panda

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I think that, like love, hate is something you actively do. To show someone love vs. to show someone hate. It's not an emotion, it's a behavior.
 

Trash Panda

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I just have an issue understanding these things because they're not even real, they're concepts so wtf is it? Just some stupid primitive impulse. Am I more basic and stupid than other people because I've acted on negative impulses?
 

Totenkindly

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... My step mom and my mom always used to ask me, even as a child "why are you so hateful?"

I think that, like love, hate is something you actively do. To show someone love vs. to show someone hate. It's not an emotion, it's a behavior.

So were they responding to an emotion you said you didn't feel, or were they responding to what they could see you do? That's what isn't clear.

So what drove those comments? Did they see you hurt/destroy something?
Or did they say those kinds of things after arguments you'd have with them, where you would use choice/insulting words?
Or were you just arguing with them a lot, so they thought you were willfully combative?

It's not really clear what drove their comments based on what you shared so far.
 

Poki

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No, anger is a feeling focused toward self. Hatred is focused on others. You can see the difference in the eyes between hate and anger.
 
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I can feel anger towards someone I like very much, so they're different to me. I break things down into smaller fragments to deal with my feelings towards them, most of the time. I think hatred is something overwhelming. It is anger I don't understand maybe. So, maybe anger and hatred are related.
 

acd

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I've always equated hatred with an attitude of wanting to destroy someone or something. It's the opposite action of nurturing or building. Maybe anger can fuel hatred, but anger can also be a constructive and positive motivator to action--depends on the way one chooses to respond to their anger. Maybe anger is not the emotion behind your hatred. Could the cold empty feeling be boredom or something like that? Seeking stimulation?
 

five sounds

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Anger is mostly rooted in disappointment and frustration for me.

Hatred is something I feel is more fundamental and a lot less common. I hate war. I'm angry at the people who propegate war. I guess I also typically hate more abstract things, and can only get angry at people because of our small nature.
 

Trash Panda

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So were they responding to an emotion you said you didn't feel, or were they responding to what they could see you do? That's what isn't clear.

So what drove those comments? Did they see you hurt/destroy something?
Or did they say those kinds of things after arguments you'd have with them, where you would use choice/insulting words?
Or were you just arguing with them a lot, so they thought you were willfully combative?

It's not really clear what drove their comments based on what you shared so far.

I think it was just my all around demeanor. The things I would say, the way I would respond to them. They never saw me do anything bad to animals.
 

Tellenbach

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Anger seems more volatile and can pass quickly whereas hatred can simmer and fester for many years.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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My understanding is that anger is an emotional reaction in the moment and hatred is an inner construct that frames what it hates as deserving of destruction and dismissal. By saying that I don't imply their either are always unjustified, but anger or hatred can be morally reasoned in some cases.
 

Dreamer

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For me, hatred is the extreme and something lasting. Something or someone has angered you enough times or to the point of basically writing them off for good. I see hatred as a label you place on something/someone when you personally feel there is no coming back. You've made up your mind, and nothing can change that. I'm in the belief that anything and everything isn't actually in a permanent state, especially with emotions, but for the time being, hatred is certainly more long-lasting.
That's the main reason I almost never use the word hate in my vocabulary. I can basically forgive anyone no matter what.
 

Poki

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Hate is a build up of anger, its a much deeper feeling. Anger can be more immediately controlling while hate is more long term controlling.
 

Agent Washington

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Correlated but not causal, I assume.

So, yes, I associate [etc] , but the causes of anger can be more than that. A person in an unfair situation should feel anger. It is only right. But it doesn't make them hateful. Yet I doubt it is possible to hate someone without being angry at them.
 

LightSun

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Anger and hatred do not always go hand and hand. I do equate anger and negative emotion with I. a perceived attack on ego, II. as a cognitive distortion of some kind with fallacies of thought, III. thus as attacking and utilizing anger on the person's perception of reality though since it has cognitive fallacies it's a projected illusion that's based on a person's unresolved personal issues.

Now there are real problems that one may get upset upon, disagree or find revolting none the less act within reason and be rational minded as well problem solving.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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I rarely feel anger but I have an issue with feeling hateful. I don't feel it toward anyone or anything in particular it's just a general "watch the world burn" feeling. Except it's not a feeling, it's a frame of mind. When I was a little kid when I was in this frame of mind I would imagine things being on fire and it soothed me. A specific incidence, I was 10 years old, in the passenger seat of the car, going to the store. As we passed by the various buildings of my neighborhood I wwould sit and imagine everything on fire. I found it comforting, I don't know how to explain it. I used to do it al the time. And I did hurt animals a few times but I felt bad about it. My step mom and my mom always used to ask me, even as a child "why are you so hateful?" and it confuses me because I don't know what that even means. This isn't trolling btw, I'm being 100% serious. As a child I for real did this.

Im not a psychopath, I love people and animals. I have this obsession with destroying and hurting things but then I feel bad about it later if I act on it. But I feel an over whelming compulsion to do it sometimes. Anyway the point is, a lot of people say "you need to let go of your anger" but I don't feel anger. So anyway I don't think this is that unusual, but I just have a hard time understanding what "hate" is. The only way I can describe it is it's like a cold empty feeling in my mind. A cold dumb feeling.

Thoughts?

Sounds like you repress anger. If you don't feel it, you repress it. Anger comes out as a cold, hardened compulsion to act without needing connection to a feeling or emotion. This is disassociation. It's why you feel badly after. Feel guilty even. Pressure builds and needs release. But you go through motions only to bypass. Point blank: you are not in control.

It's okay to feel pain, you know. What do you think will happen if you let yourself? Give yourself permission to sit with that pain? This is the only way through it.
 

OrangeAppled

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Anger is generally a signal of a violation or a need being unfulfilled too long. There are so many nuances of "anger" and the subtle differences can signal many different things. But "violation" or "unfulfilled need" is usually what it boils down it. It can be a direct violation towards us or a general violation in the world towards something we value. It can be a personal need or a more universal need. Often, this is accompanied by a helplessness. Of course it can be misdirected if we cannot identify what the violation or unfulfilled need is. Misdirected anger and hate is seen all over the place....

Emotions that seem to have no connection and are just "general" and seem to color our experience may simply be related to unresolved emotional experience from the past.

If there is a disassociation also, as noted, then maybe there has been trauma in your history?

As for hate...well, love is the highest valuing, apathy is something of a devaluing (like 0), and so hate is the lowest valuing (negative). IMO, many people say they don't hate, but they often do hate things they find utterly immoral (ie the topic of child molestation usually brings this out in people - they hate it). You can probably see how hate and anger are connected now. Immoral things are a violation of what is good. Anger is often signaling violation, and there is a hate accompanying it that is basically deeming the violation as a deep wrong.

This can become confusing if things which are otherwise good or are at least presented that way are also a source of violation. Children of abuse may experience that, as the very people supposed to protect them violated them instead.

Hate and feelings of destruction towards vulnerable or at least innocuous things/people/animals makes me wonder if there is not a basic mistrust of what is "good". I remember talking to this small boy in a special ed class for emotionally disturbed children, and he told me he didn't like it when people were nice to him. It made him angry. Well he was placed in a program because of his history of abuse. Clearly, the abuser had also been "nice" at times, which is not uncommon. He had come to associate "nice" with someone who was going to violate him.

I'm not any kind of expert, that's just my personal take on it.
 

Yama

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You can have anger without hatred.

You can't have hatred without anger.
 
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