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  1. #1
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    Default What is this strange behavior called and why do people do it?

    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    Good question.

    The answer is we live in an Attention Economy, and whoever gains the most attention wins. Those who monopolise the most attention are celebrities. Like the Robber Barons of early America, celebrities steal attention from the rest of us.

    Celebrities are able to steal our attention because we are in thrall to the electronic media and celebrities feed on the electronic media.

    The antidote to the robber celebrities is to pay attention to one another, but this is not possible because we are sunk in narcissism.

    So our celebrities rule supreme just like the Robber Barons of old America.

    America doesn't change, only the means change of robbing the American people. In the 19th century they robbed our money, now they rob us of attention.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Frosty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    Imo- because people want to be heard and they want to feel like their opinions matter.

    Lots of the times what people claim to dislike- or bash- are things that appeal to mainstream culture. People like to feel like their ideas are novel, like they are special, so they take the minority stance. Nothing like asserting your own individuality by intentionally taking as many contrarian stances as possible.

    Imo, a lot of the people who are the loudest about doing this I think already feel a bit on the outside- and so decide to reject it in a 'reject it before you feel you feel rejected by it' mindset.

    So really- its about finding ways to define yourself, to yourself. And I think- in the extreme case- when you are super loud about it- its about attempting to justify yourself to the world for some. To legitimize YOU.

    Anyways. Thats about pop- culture. But it can similarly work for people who feel the need to put other people down. They need to legitimize their feelings- so they look to others to reaffirm them. Sometimes it might be a genuine need to just make someone aware of something someone else is doing-or vent, but a lot of the times- especially especially if it is less about something someone has done ans more about just attacking another person, being as mean as possible, I think it is because the person gossiping feels insecure in themselves.

    Anyways.

  4. #4
    Senior Member lightsun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    I agree with you, simply ignore. Those who complain are projecting their own realities to lessen psychic discomfiture on their part. Hence it is indicative of an unresolved internal problem and is a blind spot for the lacking in insight individual.

  5. #5
    Dream without Hesitation Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    I find when people tend to gossip about someone else, it very rarely actually has to do with the person in discussion. They're simply being used as a device to voice some inner frustrations and anxiety. For some people, this method works, even if temporarily. It lends the opportunity for others to join in, for you to feel heard, and so on. Those are the people that tend to do it most, when they don't actually address their issues, and instead express it against someone else for whatever reason. Most times the gossip surrounds such trivial garbage anyways, like who cares?! But it happens anyways. It's a social device too. It allows people to find common ground, or allows someone to feel like their thoughts are validated if others share in this sentiment.

    There are many potential reasons, really.
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    They don't have anything to do but to talk people
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  7. #7
    No Title agentwashington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eskimo2 View Post
    Imo- because people want to be heard and they want to feel like their opinions matter.

    Lots of the times what people claim to dislike- or bash- are things that appeal to mainstream culture. People like to feel like their ideas are novel, like they are special, so they take the minority stance. Nothing like asserting your own individuality by intentionally taking as many contrarian stances as possible.

    Imo, a lot of the people who are the loudest about doing this I think already feel a bit on the outside- and so decide to reject it in a 'reject it before you feel you feel rejected by it' mindset.

    So really- its about finding ways to define yourself, to yourself. And I think- in the extreme case- when you are super loud about it- its about attempting to justify yourself to the world for some. To legitimize YOU.

    Anyways. Thats about pop- culture. But it can similarly work for people who feel the need to put other people down. They need to legitimize their feelings- so they look to others to reaffirm them. Sometimes it might be a genuine need to just make someone aware of something someone else is doing-or vent, but a lot of the times- especially especially if it is less about something someone has done ans more about just attacking another person, being as mean as possible, I think it is because the person gossiping feels insecure in themselves.

    Anyways.
    This does make me think, though. Like, on some level, given that humans are social creatures, it doesn't seem unreasonable to want others to reaffirm them. Self-definition and need for affirmation doesn't seem like unreasonable desires, at any rate.

    Yet, I also think various acts like gossiping, for instance, is also bad.

    There's a connection here that I am missing, I think. ....

    Was rudely interrupted by my fucking bf, who is eternally pissed off by the fact that I'm communicating with somebody who isn't him. Now I'm not in the mood to sort this out. Annoying.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    The times I've obsessed about a negative interaction it is because I hope a solution will occur to me, or I actually wish the person was nice to me. When I was a teenager I obsessed about a little group of friends who didn't really accept me because I wanted acceptance.

    I'm wondering about the question of constantly trolling a celebrity you don't like. Perhaps some people actually desire acceptance or similar status - jealousy? Perhaps some people create their own sense of self based on whom they feel superior towards, and so when they talk about the people who are less than them, they are reinforcing a feeling of personal superiority?

    I think you are right that the other person doesn't really care much about their opinion, so it is a waste of time.

  9. #9
    Junior Member acd's Avatar
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    Because secretly, they like or admire or maybe envy that person.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by theflame View Post
    Usually if I dislike someone, I'll ignore them or try not give them any attention, or I'll put them on blast 100 times more to annoy them away. For example, I don't like the Kardashians, but I don't spend all day on their boards bashing them into oblivion. Some people who dislike someone keep buzzing in people's ear about it as if the person cared but not even that person does.

    It's like does the person who they dislike even care? Chances are probably not, but people spend all day talking about that person.

    Why?
    It's a sign of a void life. If you're preoccupied with interesting things in your life, you won't do such a stupid thing.
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