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Internet Forums, 'Real Life', and Personality distortion

Anja

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I don't know if I killed it, or not.

My point being that folks are kinda like this - they're layers of uniqueness covered over with stereotypes and cultural habits. And most of them are in flux acting upon and being acted upon for as long as they live.

Ya can't exactly nail them cuz over time they change. You marry 'em, make fast friends with 'em, hate 'em, avoid 'em. And ten years later what you've decided about them may no longer be true. Even in the present little surprises pop out from time to time.

I was just thinking about a man I knew for years, sorta lumpy-dumpy and plain. Drove gravel truck. Didn't seem too bright. I never really got involved with him because he didn't seem interesting to me. One night, through circumstances, we ended up in a coffee shop together and he started to quote Dylan Thomas. Um. What?

Fascinating man. They're our neighbors now and have a prize-winning lawn. He raises rare Asian lilies and koi. I stroll down that way now and then just to listen to him muse.

On the net, just like in RL, you pays your money and you takes your chances.
 

heart

heart on fire
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However I do think that most are not in touch with how they feel at the time. So essentially what they post is a psychological defence.

They clamber around like armadillos from thread to thread - their armour clanking.

You make so many assumptions about people, many before you even get to know them that you often don't give people a chance to be real with you. When I say this I mean only here on this board, because of course I do not know you aside from your postings here.
 

miss fortune

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Deception is easy- in real life or on the forum. Those who don't know themselves are the most deceptive, whether intentionally or not- and a personality forum would draw a lot of confused people I suppose.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

Of course I have my own insights on this topic :rolleyes:
 

heart

heart on fire
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The internet is a great tool for learning about self though. It really is.
 

miss fortune

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Yes- which would explain why people who are less certain would be places like here :)
 

Anja

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I like that idea of a forum being, like everything else in life, a learning experience. I've talked to quite a few young introverts - well, and older ones also - who say they've picked up some confidence by practicing interacting online.

Of course, a forum is also a good place to get your ego trampled on occasion so it's good to bring the armadillo along! Just not to resort to the scaly creature to do your work for you daily! Heh.

Mine's named Francis.:smile:

That was a funny simile, Victor!
 

Jack Flak

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I think it's a safe bet I have more experience with e-interaction than physical. I've been doing this sort of thing since 1993, I believe. It's second nature.
 

Anja

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Do you have an armadillo, Jack?

Hey, do you know what I've learned from you already?
 

Anja

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Oh, hello!

I've learned that I've mistyped my son. I thought he was an ISTP for years. But you caught my attention swiftly when I came (Hey! That's my kid there.) and I started watching and listening to you and I've realized that he's an INTP!

I now understand some things about him better.
 

Anja

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Addendum: Now don't go projecting any of your "mommy issues" onto me! :newwink:

*Jack replies, "I don't have any "mommy issues."*

*Anja winks again.*
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
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For the most part, I would also tend to agree that people reveal their true selves online, since for some, the sense of anonymity serves as a safe haven for more genuine responses.

(LoL. This discussion reminds me of a recent dating experience I had. The Internet provides a useful portal for background checks. So GLAD I did research before I let myself fall deep- it only reconfirmed my hunches about their portrayal of honesty/sincerity despite the 'gentlemanly' exterior IRL).

Great topic!
 

01011010

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There was a thread over at INTPc called "Deceptive Perception", about posting anonymously and how your unique style of writing will always permeate your facade.

Just like IRL.

Oh snap.

Yes. I agree with this and I think most people don't create a false personality. I think they only hold back to withhold their true identity. Nothing more.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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I see the distinction as arbitrary. People make false personas in RL too, they also deceive, mislead and fake.
Well said. If you think about it, most people are shaded differently based on any given context: they dress and behave differently at home, when applying for a bank loan, with friends, at church, when visiting parents, when ordering ice cream, attending high school reunions, etc. People bring out and emphasize various aspects of their true selves, like drawing a variety of caricatures, based on the requirements of the situation. As far as deliberately distorted images, it likely happens, but even online that would take a lot of energy. The people I have met irl from the forums are similar in both context with a little change of emphasis in some cases.
 
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