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Friends: With Parents?

Cloudpatrol

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If you went back in time and met your parents (or whomever fills that role) when they were alive at the age you are currently, do you think you would be friends?

That they would connect with who you are? Or, vice versa?
 

prplchknz

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I am already friends with my parents. I dunno i was never really rebellious against them, yeah i did rebel slightly as a teen but over all i wasn't. I probably would've been friends with them tbh back then. considering i'm friends with them now, or i was with my dad before he passed. of course i was just thinking a lot of people i become friends with are a decade or more older than me or younger well for younger 7-10 years on average so it's resonable that i'd be friends with them. i had a friend who was 79 years old i wonder how she's doing she'd be in her 80s now. its like i connect more to generation x people then i do millenials and yes i do connect with millenials as well i never figured out why i don't tend to become friends with my peers in general.
 

chickpea

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hmmm probably not. we're not total opposites but she is/was a lot more snobby/bougie than me and also self-identifies as a "guy's girl" which i see as a red flag for female friends.
 

Lady Lazarus

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My mom seemed really cliquey and over-concerned with reputation at my age from what she's told me before so, probably not. She would likely think I'm too lacking in sycophant behavior to be worth a damn and I would find her more immature self too manufactured to be palatable.

And my father is just a strong no.
 
Joined
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This is a really interesting question. My parents have changed so much since they were young, at least from the stories that they and others have described about them. They have considerably gotten much more conservative as they have aged. My dad even claims my mom is totally different now than when he first met her.

My mom I think is an ESFP, with a very strong emphasis on the S. She was raised in a very strict Jehovah's Witness upbringing, and later rebelled and spent her time living in San Francisco working, nightclubbing, and traveling. She was a very outgoing and carefree individual. Never wanted to get married or have kids. I honestly don't think we would have gotten along very well though. We have some things in common, but I am sort of the opposite of what she was when she was young. I am much too shy and not a party animal like she was, so being friends with her probably wouldn’t have worked out.

My dad was typed before, but he can't recall his typing. I'm not really sure what he is, but I think he is an ESxx of some sort. He was known to be pretty shy when he was young, but a major playboy. Now that I think about it, he and my mom were pretty similar. They worked, went clubbing, dated people, and just had fun. They never thought about the future, just always lived in the moment.

In general, I'd assume they would probably think I was a weirdo. The friends in their social group were all like them too. I'm just not the kind of person that goes out often, going clubbing like they did every week getting drunk all the time. So no, I don't think we would be friends.
 

geedoenfj

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Probably my dad, not to be close friends or anything but I can get along with him, but definitely not my mom..
 

Forever

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Even though they are both of my friends, as much as I think it could happen... It probably wouldn't happen because I wouldn't allow them to.

I'm just too off for many individuals. My standards are so individualized. So it's not really personal for them.

It is weird to think about though.

I remember asking my mom when I was in my teens (middle school ish) If I weren't your son, would you still love me?

She said no. It was a dumb question but I wish she'd at least sweeten the answer even if it was a dumb answer.

My father is very predictable and my mother is too but only in some ways. How they both approach religion is bizarre to me. They want me to be in their faith still but it's like they half ass believe and pick and choose what works. When it comes to spirituality I'm either in it with all my heart and mind or I want nothing to do with it. I'm the latter right now.

I used to be obsessed with truth back then, if it was the path God wanted me and everyone on. Of course it was the biggest deal what and how I was supposed to live my life. My parents thought it was stupid even though that's what the religion taught. It really made me think that religion is just more to say hey we get along with people who share our general value system than it does with actual beliefs.

So weird.
 

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

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I mean, I don't make friends with people now, so I doubt I would have made friends with younger versions of my parents. My mom, certainly not. Our interests were different so it's hard to see how our paths would have crossed, first of all. Second of all, she already had her own friends and wasn't very socially ambitious or outgoing, and I'm not either.

My father, maybe. We're both ENTPs and shared a lot of the same interests. We might have met in a political event or something. idk, probably not though.
 

Rebeka

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it's a veeery good question, i've never asked myself though XD, I think I'll be my dad's but my mom I think, because of what she told me about her, she was pretty girlish and innocent with my age... don't think we've matched
 

Galena

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While there would be nothing forbidding about my dad (ISTJ 9w1), from what I know our social circles just wouldn't intersect at all.

As for my mom, we're closer in type (ISTP 6w5 for her), had similar social difficulties in school, and are similar in temperamental temperature enough that her flaws wouldn't put me off. So, yes. We'd probably be friends or at least in the same group.
 

Cloudpatrol

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I am still thinking about my Dad.

I don't think I would have been friends with my Mom. We are very good friends now but I think the thing that causes division between us would have been untenable at a younger age.

Social expectation is huge to my Mom and means almost nothing to me. So, when we visit she will usually find time for us to 'update my wardrobe'. When we got out she will 'remind me to put on lipstick'. She prefers 'pleasant' conversations. Not talking about politics or saying truths that could cause upset feelings. She thinks I should be more concerned with romance and thinking about what pleases men.

These are things I consider "quirks" that are easily overlooked when I think about her loving spirit, generosity, genuine interest in humanity, love for fun... But, I don't think she would have had the desire or patience to deal with me as a friend earlier in life. And, I might have (wrongly) dismissed her as superficial.
 

Yama

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Probably not.
 
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