Verbal communication

[Bella]

For which of the I types is verbal communication usually the most difficult. I'm assuming it's not hard for any of the E's, but correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[disregard]

By verbal communication, do you mean expressing your thoughts, opinions and feelings in words?

 

[colmena]

By verbal communication, do you mean expressing your thoughts, opinions and feelings in words?

I think she means farmyard animal sounds.

amirite?

 

[disregard]

She may have meant a talent for speaking in person, because of this:

I'm assuming it's not hard for any of the E's

 

[Bella]

By verbal communication, do you mean expressing your thoughts, opinions and feelings in words?

yes.

 

[Bella]

She may have meant a talent for speaking in person, because of this:

Yes that too.

 

[Kyrielle]

Well, if you mean difficulty expressing thoughts, then yes I can have a terrible time finding the right words. It's why, when speaking I: stammer slightly/start sentences twice because I'm unsure of how to proceed, have giant pauses that are long enough to make people think I've stopped talking (I am busy thinking), and sometimes say not quite what I mean or say "It's hard to explain."

If you mean starting a conversation formally, then I suppose I have trouble with that too. I'm one of those people who will just jump into a conversation without any introduction and then, halfway through talking to someone go, "Oh, by the way, what's your name?" if I even remember to ask at all.

I also cannot write and talk at the same time...I sort of start...slowing...down.....what I'm saying.......and eventually.........stop.


Are any other I's like this?

 

[disregard]

Yes that too.

But do you also mean writing?

 

[Bella]

But do you also mean writing?

No, no, just the stuff that comes out of your mouth.

I'm asking this because I was wondering if the type that has the hardest type communicating verbaly would also be the majority type on forums like these, because here you get to bypass the verbal part. Whatever you want to express goes straight from your mind to being expressed in some other way than verbal.

 

[ajblaise]

Maybe ISFJs or INTJ's have the hardest time with it, I don't know. I don't really think it's INTPs.

 

[Thursday]

its effortless for me
i am very glib, too

 

[Cimarron]

Well, if you mean difficulty expressing thoughts, then yes I can have a terrible time finding the right words. It's why, when speaking I: stammer slightly/start sentences twice because I'm unsure of how to proceed, have giant pauses that are long enough to make people think I've stopped talking (I am busy thinking), and sometimes say not quite what I mean or say "It's hard to explain."

Are any other I's like this?

Probably a lot of us have been there. When I speak, I usually keep stopping and starting, trying to "erase and rewrite" what I've said. So yes, I think writing/typing come much easier to people like us, because you can fix that stuff manually.

 

[Winz]

I definitely suck hardcore at speaking my thoughts. Everything just comes out all akward and crappy.

 

[Anja]

I've read that INFPs are skilled with words. I'm not sure that I've seen that played out on my other MBTI forum. There are many excellent writers there but I'm not sure they are in any more abundance than some other forums I've belonged to.

And in the chat room it appears there is a lot of mutual navel-gazing at times.

For much of my life I was a "blurter" and that impulsivity to speak a thought before I had thought the situation through sometimes worked to a social disadvantage. There's not much way to explain that other than a pressing thought would almost be hot coal-like and there was an urgency to speak it out of me. A combination of a feeling state connected to a busy mind?

At any rate I've learned that speaking with the feelings foremost isn't a good idea for someone who prefers harmony in her relationships!

I've found that I enjoy speaking with others on a forum because it has given me an opportunity to consider what I am going to say first. And I have been able to transfer that over to my RL with satisfying results.

The urgency to speak remains and my thoughts flow very rapidly so I find myself speaking aloud as I type because it slows me down enough that my fingers can keep up with my thoughts.

Add to this an increasing tendency to forgetfulness and the urgency is more pronounced. Say it before you forget what you were going to say!

My husband and I have some pretty disjointed conversations interrupting each other to say, "I know this is off-subject, but just let me say it before I forget."

But I think this has been true of me all my life.

 

[htb]

I think she means farmyard animal sounds.

She's in luck, then. I can low a terrific moo-cow.

To the OP: every type is at a certain disadvantage. An Intuitive may be hard-pressed to satisfy an impatient Sensor with an abstract concept; a Sensor contributing to a debate between Intuitives may offer a handful of facts that appear insignificant to the overarching discussion. There are many more examples of speaking outside of one's specialty; I doubt that a type-related pattern can be established.

 

[Bella]

She's in luck, then. I can low a terrific moo-cow.

To the OP: every type is at a certain disadvantage. An Intuitive may be hard-pressed to satisfy an impatient Sensor with an abstract concept; a Sensor contributing to a debate between Intuitives may offer a handful of facts that appear insignificant to the overarching discussion. There are many more examples of speaking outside of one's specialty; I doubt that a type-related pattern can be established.

Thanks.

("a sensor contributing to a debate between Intuitives".....heehee)

 

[Randomnity]

Well, if you mean difficulty expressing thoughts, then yes I can have a terrible time finding the right words. It's why, when speaking I: stammer slightly/start sentences twice because I'm unsure of how to proceed, have giant pauses that are long enough to make people think I've stopped talking (I am busy thinking), and sometimes say not quite what I mean or say "It's hard to explain."

If you mean starting a conversation formally, then I suppose I have trouble with that too. I'm one of those people who will just jump into a conversation without any introduction and then, halfway through talking to someone go, "Oh, by the way, what's your name?" if I even remember to ask at all.

I also cannot write and talk at the same time...I sort of start...slowing...down.....what I'm saying.......and eventually.........stop.


Are any other I's like this?

Yes. I'm not convinced that it's a type thing, though, beyond I/E. I think in my case at least, it's mostly because I'm so introverted and shy that I don't have much practice speaking out loud, plus I get nervous when I do have to, which is a terrible combination.

 

[cascadeco]

I'm not certain it's cut and dry, although yeah, there are trends.

I would venture to say though that each type excels at a certain TYPE of communication, and each can be proficient in certain subjects/themes, and pretty bumbling in other areas. [eh...Actually it might not even be a type thing. Might just be an individual thing.] You know how with even the shyest person, with certain subjects, they just speak extremely clearly and are quite lucid??

For me, at work, one of my key strengths has always been cited as communication. I remember the first time I received this feedback in a review, I was *floored* - because I've always thought my communication kind of sucks. But I think what I've realized is that when I'm talking about work matters, at which I feel fairly confident about what I'm talking about, and I trust that I'm 'right', or whatever, the words can just kind of flow out and there's a certain structure to what I'm saying (even though I sometimes don't subjectively feel this is the case -- I'm just going off of feedback).

However, when it comes to my personal life, and having to explain why I believe a certain thing, or why I'm feeling a certain way, or describe my thoughts on religion (or some broad topic like that), my mind often feels like a blank state and I end up mumbling just a short, watered-down sentence or two -- because I don't even know where to begin, or I know in my mind it took me forever to figure out why I belive a certain thing, so it would take hours to verbally spit it out, even if I were able to do so. Which I'm not.

 

[Ilah]

I have a hard time with verbal communication. There is this expectation that when the other person finishes talking you will say something right away. It often takes me a minute or two - or at least a very noticable pause - before I reply. Even then it not optimum for me. If it is serious discussion, I would prefer to have a longer time, like a half hour or maybe even a day to respond. This is one of the reason I prefer internet communication.

I have heard that Ni dominant types, which included me, have the hardest time communticating with other. I think some of this is a type rarity issue. Ns are often hard for Ss to understand. Since most people are S, that mean most people have a hard time understanding us. Since most people have a hard time understanding us, we must be poor communicators.

Ilah

 

[substitute]

my ExFJ daughter has great difficulty with expressing herself... she really does, it's like she can't even speak English sometimes... something as simple as like, when she has math homework and calls my brother to help her out with it (since I hate math lol), she can't manage to frame the first sentence to just tell him why she called, goes all around the houses instead of just saying "I wanted you to help with my math homework, it's about finding the area of triangles, parallelograms and trapezia." She's definitely an extravert, of that there's no doubt whatsoever, and she's intelligent and stuff... it's not a confidence issue... I don't know what it is. She just doesn't have much of a command of English...