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Thread: Bullying

  1. #541
    Rythym of the night I, Tonya's Avatar
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    It's easier for them to prey on the weak. They're bored with their lives, and depending on how toxic they are, don't interact or feed them...otherwise stand up for yourself.
    It is not good for man to be alone.

  2. #542
    Noncompliant Yuurei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I, Tonya View Post
    It's easier for them to prey on the weak. They're bored with their lives, and depending on how toxic they are, don't interact or feed them...otherwise stand up for yourself.
    Lol. I am not, nor have I ever been, weak or timid. I stood up for myself.

    Unfortunately, some of my biggest bullies were teachers and other adults. I got in far more trouble -detention/suspension, called a ‘lost cause/ just a bad kid’ and generally tossed aside-had my desk put in the back of the room facing the corner fir an entire year-and generally denied an education. So, no, that doesn’t always solve the problem.
    “ Rise up and raise the iron roof off
    Now, Rise up and riot 'til the bomb drops
    Now, Rise up the time is right to sound off, so
    Rise with me, rise with me, rise with me (RISE UP!)”

  3. #543
    Junior Member pep talk's Avatar
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    "Is that it then? It's rather sad if that's it; if the choice is to either bully or be bullied."

    No. That's not it. There are other ways, for sure. I now you wanted bullies to reply, but...sorry, mate, I'm just another bullied person. All the way past college. I eventually learned to keep to myself and to keep diaies. What I usually say to people don't make sense to them, so they either think I'm crazy, weird, or a target. I have suffered indescribably in the hands of bullies. In the end, I have learned to thank them (of course, I do still indulge in very sadistic fantasies of justice, but I know that that is never the path forward). I thank them for having made me internally stronger and even more determined in my ideals/ attitudes than before. No one can bend me or break me, I will just keep on getting back up. Not because they want a good fight, or practice target. I get back up because I CHOOSE TO.
    Anyway, I diverge.
    Middle school is brutal, and kids are all learning- bullies usually feel horrible about themselves, and thus have to take it out on someone else. There are the followers,of course, who will repeat cruelties because they are immature and just want to "fit in" with the "cool" crowd.
    They will grow up to regret their teen selves. Maybe they will always hate themselves.
    As for the bullied- they should do everything in their power to still thrive, whether it is through writing, art, clubs, or anything that they can still exercise their levels of self- confidence.
    I wish your daughter the best of luck. Remind her of the positives in her life- concentrate on what she does well- and remind her that stupid people are just that- stupid. Encourage her to hang out with good people, exemplary people. An email or two to teachers and the principal as a heads up wouldn't hurt, either. Good luck.

  4. #544
    gothic elf MovinOut's Avatar
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    I'm not really sure why I'm answering this question, since the OP probably won't be reading this and this thread is dead, but I feel like contributing anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I'd like if people here could talk about their experiences of bullying, and if anyone's found a way to deal with it, what is it?

    Parents - how do you deal with it when your children get bullied?

    I'm interested in comments from people who might be or have been bullies themselves. I want to explore the mindset of both bully and victim, in the hope that I'll be inspired with *something* to tell my 11 year old daughter when she comes home crying again tomorrow
    I've been both the bully and the victim, but more so often the victim, and it's really been life-changing to have to experience it. I'm not really sure why I was bullied. Maybe it is because I had no confidence and didn't fight back. I sort of think I deserve it, but that might be an after-effect of the bullying.

    I didn't receive verbal abuse all that much (mostly just lame "insults" like being called a nerd/geek), or maybe I just don't remember it. Mostly, I remember the physical stuff. And very vividly. A girl writing swear words in sharpie marker all over my books and binder. Being shoved in the halls. Someone putting me inside of a trash can and a bunch of people laughing at me for that.

    My self-esteem is pretty much zilch now and I do view myself as a piece of trash so I guess it worked. I never really found a good way to deal with it. I still think about it often and get triggered by very certain scenarios. It took me ten years to be able to write about the stuff that happened, maybe in another ten I'll be able to actually talk about it with a counselor or something. It just makes me feel very uncomfortable to even think about. I'm shaking a bit while writing this post, actually. It also turned me into a really angry person with a lot of vengeful tendencies and some even violent ones. I'm not proud of that side of me, but it exists.

    As for when I bullied people, I was a cyberbully who insulted people based on their looks behind a computer screen. A complete coward. I thought it helped me feel better and I thought I was being funny at the time, and now I'm just disgusted by myself whenever I think about it. I never did anything more than that, because I didn't think anyone would take actual bullying from me in-person seriously due to my size.

    If I had children and they were being bullied, goddamn, I don't know what I'd do. I'd try to find a good therapist, I guess. I wouldn't be able to tell them anything to make them feel better. I have a tendency for being too pessimistic and I'd probably end up not giving them the usual advice, but say "it won't get better" or something sad like that. Actually, thinking about my potential kids getting bullied makes me never want to have any.

    Quote Originally Posted by IlyaK1986 View Post
    Kid getting bullied? Teach them Krav Maga. Kick between legs, punch to temple/back of head, choke, etc...

    Bullies bully people that don't fight back. Once that bully gets his ass whooped, he won't come back.
    This post amused me because I actually do Krav Maga now (several years too late). Martial arts did give me more confidence, though.
    And I've been a hero, helpless, I'm in hell...

    silent all these years: my personal blog

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    Johari / Nohari

  5. #545
    gothic elf MovinOut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I used to wonder whether I became how I am because of the bullying and ostracism. Then I considered that perhaps I was bullied and ostracised because of how I am. I'm not sure it matters one way or another.
    Same, I can't figure this out, really. I also am not sure if figuring out which one came first is very useful to me, but it's something I think about often anyway.
    And I've been a hero, helpless, I'm in hell...

    silent all these years: my personal blog

    vote on my type

    Johari / Nohari

  6. #546
    Senior Member Black Sun's Avatar
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    I have this thing where even if I am insulted to my face I don't feel anything in the moment. I didn't do anything about the bullying besides look at the person with a blank face and carry on. People who have crossed me have had bad things happen to them somehow (2 died and 1 person's father died a painful death) so that is pretty funny. Most of my awful experiences with people happened at home.

  7. #547
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Connorwal View Post
    My dad is bully, how can I solve this problem?
    Get your own place?
    We are living in an SNL sketch gone horribly wrong.


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