Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

[Blackout]

True, but those things don't lo.

wer an IQ to 61.



No.

yes, but...again there is believed now to be social and cultural reasons that impede or effect a person's ability to adequately be asset fairly on the tests. Just saying, maybe she's actually 90.

I'm not saying I am right for sure, but I just have this sneaking suspicious there are a lot of kids out there who are not inherently...lacking in the smarter stuff.

Who, due to a combination of factors somehow seemingly become or turn into that on the outset. If you treat a person badly enough, you can really impede on their functioning and the resulting mental effects can also effect their mental capabilities.

 

[Mal12345]

yes, but...again there is believed now to be social and cultural reasons that impede or effect a person's ability to adequately be asset fairly on the tests.

Can you cite a study to that effect? Or is it just as you say, a belief?

 

[Blackout]

Can you cite a study to that effect? Or is it just as you say, a belief?

Yes there are studies, but it's only recently I've tried keeping track of things like these as it is not naturally fourthcoming to me.

I mean suit yourself, you can believe whatever you want.

 

[Thalassa]

I just ran across this while reading "Arleen's Story" (of a BPD victim):

Back home in her sublet studio, after sitting in a bubble bath for an hour
and changing into shorts and Greg’s “Go Buckeyes” T-shirt, which still
exudes the unique Greg scent..."

Those with BPD often make use of tokens such as the scent from a loved one's possession in order to comfort themselves and ease their anxieties.

A lot of human beings like the scent of a loved one, especially lovers. In the Victorian Era it was considered totally normal to keep pieces of your partner's hair. Boyfriends shirts or jackets have been a cultural thing since the mid-20th century.

While I respect you're trying to help your step daughter, I just want to say that in my experience people with extremely rational personalities who repress feeling or emotions may exaggerate the symptoms of conditions like BPD, because the human range of irrational sentimentality and expression of strong emotions don't compute to them as logic. ..even though we see opera depicting over the top pain and passion from centuries ago, which many people have paid great money to watch.

BPD is not being emotional, sensitive, passionate, irrational or weird...your step daughter definitely sounds troubled but listing things like comforting anxiety with a loved ones scent as being a symptom is way over the top, with all due respect here.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm not quite sure this is the reasoning behind it. Although maybe. Purposeful misdiagnosis would be unethical, I would assume (I would have to do more research and if you have any solid info on this, that would be helpful) because they ARE treated differently and one is chemical the other behavioral in origin.

I can't see any doc I have ever been to fudging this type of thing for insurance benefit.

Moving on tho, you are correct that they are often missed for one of the other.

For myself, I didn't have the volatility of push/pull with OUTSIDE dynamic (people) more so, it was internal oscillation. (Bipolar II).

I was cutting also (a normally BDP symptom, in fact my doc had to rule that out first because that symptom is usually attributed to it)

But the reasoning behind my cutting was not self-hate, low self-image, attention, etc)

it was a way to calm my mind down and TAKE CONTROL of my mind running away with itself. Sort of physically taking my emotional steering wheel over. It was a self-medicating tactic. I never wanted scars and took pains to minimize them.

This I learned in hindsight. I just knew it put the brakes on my brain at that time. People don't realize the torture of thoughts you cannot control.

So sad when I say that now. But that is where I was. So glad I got help and am not living like that anymore.

Yeah...BPD was ruled out first for me as well. I honestly don't see doctors not wanting to diagnose BPD, but actually being sure that it's not the issue first.

 

[Crabs]

Interesting thread. I'm curious how BPD presents differently in males than females. To my understanding, BPD was largely considered a "female" disorder, as opposed to Asperger's which is frequently regarded as a "male" condition. We know that some women do indeed have Asperger's, though it may present differently than it does in males. Likewise, BPD can manifest differently in males due to various factors - cultural norms/gender roles, etc.

Much the same way that BP and BPD are often misdiagnosed for each other, I see some commonalities between BPD and Asperger's, like not understanding boundaries, misreading social interactions and intense interpersonal difficulties. Also, the emotional meltdowns of aspies and others on the spectrum seems like it could easily be mistaken for BPD, especially in women.

Just did a quick Google search and found an interesting page that compares and contrasts the two:

The Borderline of Asperger’s: The similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism

But I'm still curious [MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION], in your experience, how BPD manifests in males differently than both Asperger's in men and BPD in women.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

Firstly are you absolutely sure it's clever to diagnose people like this? Are you a psychiatrist? A mental health professional or a trained psychologist? If not... It's dangerous to put such stigma on people. If you are, please reconsider more than once what you think is/isn't BPD.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 2 years ago by a mental health professional and while I have many doubts about this diagnosis... I have to say... I am sure Ido not come from a broken family, I am from well functioning upper middle class family.
There are periods when I can be under a lot of stress and put that on my boyfriend, but I am not unstable when I am in a relationship. My relationships are more or less calm and even a little cold. I for example experience most of the issues after a break up and that usually causes me to get back together with my ex boyfriends, but once I am in a relationship, I am stable, calm and tolerant, more than most of the women I know. For example I rarely get into arguments, fights and I almost never express anything like jealousy.
Also while my inner emotion can be vivid to a point, I have a great control over my emotional expressions and never do anything exposing, weird or odd when I am in a company of anyone.
I can manage to be outwardly absolutely calm while I experience a panniac attack for example...not many people can do that.
I think they might be a lot of other people who manage to gain control over the symptoms and they live their lives totally unseen.

 

[Mal12345]

Interesting thread. I'm curious how BPD presents differently in males than females. To my understanding, BPD was largely considered a "female" disorder, as opposed to Asperger's which is frequently regarded as a "male" condition. We know that some women do indeed have Asperger's, though it may present differently than it does in males. Likewise, BPD can manifest differently in males due to various factors - cultural norms/gender roles, etc.

Much the same way that BP and BPD are often misdiagnosed for each other, I see some commonalities between BPD and Asperger's, like not understanding boundaries, misreading social interactions and intense interpersonal difficulties. Also, the emotional meltdowns of aspies and others on the spectrum seems like it could easily be mistaken for BPD, especially in women.

Just did a quick Google search and found an interesting page that compares and contrasts the two:

The Borderline of Asperger’s: The similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism

But I'm still curious [MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION], in your experience, how BPD manifests in males differently than both Asperger's in men and BPD in women.

I don't have enough experience to draw on so I can't answer your question completely. But from what I've seen of male BPD, it takes a highly aggressive behavioral form. On this forum we would see it as extreme extroversion. But while I call it aggressive, it's not to be confused with antisocial. The only autistic people I've seen were really quiet and avoided eye contact.

 

[Crabs]

Firstly are you absolutely sure it's clever to diagnose people like this? Are you a psychiatrist? A mental health professional or a trained psychologist? If not... It's dangerous to put such stigma on people. If you are, please reconsider more than once what you think is/isn't BPD.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 2 years ago by a mental health professional and while I have many doubts about this diagnosis... I have to say... I am sure Ido not come from a broken family, I am from well functioning upper middle class family.
There are periods when I can be under a lot of stress and put that on my boyfriend, but I am not unstable when I am in a relationship. My relationships are more or less calm and even a little cold. I for example experience most of the issues after a break up and that usually causes me to get back together with my ex boyfriends, but once I am in a relationship, I am stable, calm and tolerant, more than most of the women I know. For example I rarely get into arguments, fights and I almost never express anything like jealousy.
Also while my inner emotion can be vivid to a point, I have a great control over my emotional expressions and never do anything exposing, weird or odd when I am in a company of anyone.
I can manage to be outwardly absolutely calm while I experience a panniac attack for example...not many people can do that.
I think they might be a lot of other people who manage to gain control over the symptoms and they live their lives totally unseen.

Just re-read the OP and realized that Mal never claimed to be a psychologist/psychiatrist/mental health practitioner.

Reading comprehension fail. I blame my lack of sleep.

I don't have enough experience to draw on so I can't answer your question completely. But from what I've seen of male BPD, it takes a highly aggressive behavioral form. On this forum we would see it as extreme extroversion. But while I call it aggressive, it's not to be confused with antisocial. The only autistic people I've seen were really quiet and avoided eye contact.

Fair enough. I misread this thread as your experience in dealing with a patient who has BPD or something. Apparently, my brain is connecting imaginary dots.

 

[Mal12345]

Firstly are you absolutely sure it's clever to diagnose people like this? Are you a psychiatrist? A mental health professional or a trained psychologist? If not... It's dangerous to put such stigma on people. If you are, please reconsider more than once what you think is/isn't BPD.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 2 years ago by a mental health professional and while I have many doubts about this diagnosis... I have to say... I am sure Ido not come from a broken family, I am from well functioning upper middle class family.
There are periods when I can be under a lot of stress and put that on my boyfriend, but I am not unstable when I am in a relationship. My relationships are more or less calm and even a little cold. I for example experience most of the issues after a break up and that usually causes me to get back together with my ex boyfriends, but once I am in a relationship, I am stable, calm and tolerant, more than most of the women I know. For example I rarely get into arguments, fights and I almost never express anything like jealousy.
Also while my inner emotion can be vivid to a point, I have a great control over my emotional expressions and never do anything exposing, weird or odd when I am in a company of anyone.
I can manage to be outwardly absolutely calm while I experience a panniac attack for example...not many people can do that.
I think they might be a lot of other people who manage to gain control over the symptoms and they live their lives totally unseen.

I'm really more concerned with traits and how to deal with them. But I can't control the way my mind works. I wasn't even focused on doing any diagnosing when one day it suddenly occurred to me (Aha) that my step-daughter is BPD. The Aha moment also happened on a previous occasion with another person.

But if it wasn't for my "diagnosis," I wouldn't have been led to look into the SET(UP) method of dealing with BPD people. And that's more important.

 

[Mal12345]

Just re-read the OP and realized that Mal never claimed to be a psychologist/psychiatrist/mental health practitioner.

Reading comprehension fail. I blame my lack of sleep.



Fair enough. I misread this thread as your experience in dealing with a patient who has BPD or something. Apparently, my brain is connecting imaginary dots.

I wouldn't be a therapist for a million dollars.

 

[Mal12345]

Firstly are you absolutely sure it's clever to diagnose people like this? Are you a psychiatrist? A mental health professional or a trained psychologist? If not... It's dangerous to put such stigma on people. If you are, please reconsider more than once what you think is/isn't BPD.

I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder 2 years ago by a mental health professional and while I have many doubts about this diagnosis... I have to say... I am sure Ido not come from a broken family, I am from well functioning upper middle class family.
There are periods when I can be under a lot of stress and put that on my boyfriend, but I am not unstable when I am in a relationship. My relationships are more or less calm and even a little cold. I for example experience most of the issues after a break up and that usually causes me to get back together with my ex boyfriends, but once I am in a relationship, I am stable, calm and tolerant, more than most of the women I know. For example I rarely get into arguments, fights and I almost never express anything like jealousy.
Also while my inner emotion can be vivid to a point, I have a great control over my emotional expressions and never do anything exposing, weird or odd when I am in a company of anyone.
I can manage to be outwardly absolutely calm while I experience a panniac attack for example...not many people can do that.
I think they might be a lot of other people who manage to gain control over the symptoms and they live their lives totally unseen.

Are you asking me to diagnose you? Or are you just questioning your previous diagnosis? You might look into "quiet" BPD. The mercurial BPD form tends to project and displace emotions, but the "quiet" BPD form tends to hide feelings and introject.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

Are you asking me to diagnose you? Or are you just questioning your previous diagnosis? You might look into "quiet" BPD. The mercurial BPD form tends to project and displace emotions, but the "quiet" BPD form tends to hide feelings and introject.

Neither. I am asking you to reconsider your opinion and whether you're qualified enough to diagnose people.

 

[Mal12345]

Neither. I am asking you to reconsider your opinion and whether you're qualified enough to diagnose people.

Why?

 

[Mal12345]

Interesting thread. I'm curious how BPD presents differently in males than females. To my understanding, BPD was largely considered a "female" disorder, as opposed to Asperger's which is frequently regarded as a "male" condition. We know that some women do indeed have Asperger's, though it may present differently than it does in males. Likewise, BPD can manifest differently in males due to various factors - cultural norms/gender roles, etc.

Much the same way that BP and BPD are often misdiagnosed for each other, I see some commonalities between BPD and Asperger's, like not understanding boundaries, misreading social interactions and intense interpersonal difficulties. Also, the emotional meltdowns of aspies and others on the spectrum seems like it could easily be mistaken for BPD, especially in women.

Just did a quick Google search and found an interesting page that compares and contrasts the two:

The Borderline of Asperger’s: The similarities and differences between Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism

But I'm still curious [MENTION=13589]Mal12345[/MENTION], in your experience, how BPD manifests in males differently than both Asperger's in men and BPD in women.

Thank you for the link. I hadn't considered Autism or Asperger's Syndrome. What I found was this:

"Fortunately there are some key differences between the two disorders which set them apart. Firstly, whilst those with Asperger’s Syndrome do not get social cues or misunderstand them, those with Borderline Personality Disorder are hyper aware of them, but often distort them."

My step-daughter definitely falls into the "those with BPD are hyper aware of social cues or misunderstand them" category. She is socially hyper-aware in general, not just with social cues but with everything social.

I haven't simply accepted the BPD diagnosis, as I always question authority including my own. But as a diagnosis of exclusion, so far it's boiling down to BPD.

I've looked into BP, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and a few others as well as (now) autism. BPD is not only my Aha! diagnosis, it is also the diagnosis by exclusion.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

Why?

Because I don't like it when amateurs spread rumors and shallow unprofessional opinions on topics that are as serious as this one.

 

[Mal12345]

Because I don't like it when amateurs spread rumors and shallow unprofessional opinions on topics that are as serious as this one.

What rumors and shallow unprofessional opinions don't you like?

 

[hjgbujhghg]

What rumors and shallow unprofessional opinions don't you like?

I tried to refute a few with my post about how I experience this. So those I mentioned there.

 

[Mal12345]

I tried to refute a few with my post about how I experience this. So those I mentioned there.

What are you experiencing inside?

 

[hjgbujhghg]

What are you experiencing inside?

My states vary a little... Sometimes I feel well, like I have no issue and everything is more or less fine, but I mostly experience feelings of dullness, laziness and lethargy, apathy. I often experience the chornic emptiness and feeling like this world is a very dark and scary place, which usually leads to panic, anxiety and derealisation.
These states are the most typical for me... Sometimes though I can experience sandess and loneliness too, these are less typical for me now and were more true for me when I was a teenager.

I sometimes can feel a little bit hypomanic as well and can get into the state when I work a lot, I don't really need to sleep and feel energetic.

I mostly can't stand when I have a feeling of chaos, I sometimes feel like my thoughts are very messy and unorganized and I can't think clearly, I can't get into relaxed state and feel tons of inner tension.

That's more or less it.